All Comments on 'Suspicion - a Sequel'

I liked the little twist in your story. However, I didn't care for the ending. I don't see how one can forget the betrayal.

Boyd

<p>or if you do, get someone who knows english.</p>

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<p>No noticeable typos, but your wording and punctuation are awkward. You should learn how to use '.' ',' and new paragraphs properly.</p>

<p>Oh and learn the differences between quotation marks.</p>

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<p>I had a hard time reading through this.</p>

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<p>I won't get into the actual story, since I'm not into wimp/cuck losers like this guy.</p>

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<p>Suffice it to say it would've been more merciful have him get hit by a bus just to put him out of his misery.</p>

what stopping her from doing it again?having another man baby and leaving her family because she fill eighteen.kathy and paul needed to be in mental health center with karl.you as a writer not using common sense.

No,No,No. Paul moves on and finds a good woman,gets married and lives happley ever after.Kathy and Karl have many many problems,but that is her problem. Thats a happy ending!

Loved your story and dont let the critics with no name keep you from writing but do get an editor to help you out.

You have a mentally ill woman who lives her teen fantasies and destroys a marriage and her own family to run off and have sex with a man she hasnt seen in years but had a crush on in high school. The man turns out to be a mentally insane sadistic abuser and never bothered to divorce his second wife. How did they know he had not divorced her elsewhere? After she has spent years living with her "lover" and bearing him a child she attempts suioide for her crazy actions and being mislead by her current "husband". And poor old ex has waited patiently on the side for years not even dating, may we address this man as not being quite sane himself, and immediately falls in love with a woman who: lied to him; cheated on him; betrayed him; committed adultry on him while married; committed bigamy (even if she did not know it); bore a child out of wedlock it appears; attempts to commit suicide; and is mentally unstable. What a great role model for a mother and what a fantastic mate you can totally trust and love. Your ending is such a forced get them back together at no cost story. I can see him helping her get herself back on her feet but even dating her would be next to impossible. God, how would you know whose bed she got out of that morning, you could not trust her to say she hadnt. I would ask the courts to grant full custody to the husband with controlled visits by her with the kids, she is a risk in many ways. Nope she had her fling and it went badly now she wants to come back to good old faithful and dumb hubby. Not a chance in hell! Tough enough when you married to someone mentally off that is totally loyal and loving and doesnt spread their legs with todays justification.

Either english is not your home language or you did not pay enough attention in school. Your plot line is thin and frankly boring. Rather try to write something of your own

Here is an interesting fact for you a woman who works in the same company as myself has just got re-married to her twice married EX-husband she was divorced from him for 8 years so unlikely as this story seems IT DOES happen. Just goes to proove when emotions get involved strange things do happen.

you can not have a happy ending after a betrayal. The angry mob will tar and feather you!

I have to admit that there are several places where it is not clear what you are saying but I gave you a 100 to compensate for the arbitrary reaction of the anti-wimpists!

The truth is that Paul sounds like an amazing guy who made a big mistake in his choice of ladies.

From what I know of paraacetamol poisoning she should have died after about eight days...

I would like it better if Karl wasn't made out to be a monster or deficient in some way as he is in most of the sequels. His character in the end means nothing; it is Kathy's character that is what matters to Paul. And she doesn't have a mental illness to fall back upon like Karl.

All I can say is that you tried far too hard to rework Kathy into the victim in this whole charade. Now it may be true that Karl searched deliberately to find her, and I could picture a version of Karl that was as demented and twisted as you envisioned. HOWEVER, that doesn't allow for instant absolution for Kathy. You used plot twists to attempt to erase all the emotional pain created by the first betrayal and then had a whirlwind ending that ultimately feels very unsatisfying............... Half of the fun of reading the "loving wife" stories is the emotional twists to the story as the parties involved see the damage caused by their actions. Here you try to skip that part and sneak in a quick reconcilliation...............

Its a start though. Don't be afraid to keep writing.

A week after Kathy & Karl's Honeymoon, Paul comes over to K&K home. Karl's at work, Paul expresses his love for Kathy and the two of them make like bunnies. Just after Paul pumps his load in Kathy, Karl walks in.

See where that would fly?

The story's ok, but it looks like something you copy out from a romance novel. Anyway, nice try. Next!

I think my wife used to read syrupy sweet crud novels like this but even she knows they aren’t worth much of anything. This “story” just isn’t well done. The dialogue is preposterous and the story line wanders around like a drunken sailor. The grammar and punctuation is barely adequate but the writer clearly has no idea how to make them work together to make the story flow. When I finished this “sequel,” it left a bad taste in my mouth; it was thoroughly unsatisfactory.

sick whore wife (for leaving her kids and husband for sex with boyfriend of past), sick masochist ex-husnband(for living 5 years without a sex and for taking that slut back), sick author (for writing such a crap)

Through Evelyn, and her conversation with Kathy in the hospital, you described what a real Paul would have felt with each new life experience Kathy shared with Karl. How each new step that drew her and Karl together would be like a dagger in his heart. The character of Paul in the original story had too much self respect to turn a blind eye to each new betrayal just to get her back (remember, he threw her cheating ass out). Each new step she took with Karl was in fact a new and additional rejection of Paul, his love, and the life they shared. And the birth of Andrew would have been the final straw... a living, breathing, walking, talking reminder of her betrayal. One that would outlive the both of them. No, if you hadn't made your version of Paul pathetic to the point of insanity you could not have been able to concoct your happy ending.

i Cant see this as written ,,,i dont think the hubby would have been without pussy...i also cant see him taking her back as a wife ...i can see him fucking her and living with her ...but i think he would also have kept tje kids separtae and made the other hubbt pay for his bastard ...even if he dies in a mental institur=te as described then the kid would collect social security till he got out of school ...i dont think any one would pass up free money ...this way if he ever felt like fucking others what could she say ...her i think she would be ok sharing him after the mess she made the first time

<p>Ok, first please don't take this as insult to you directly, but this was a "Reconcilation at all cost" story wasn't it</p>

<p>I gave the story a 25 because it was your first story, but I have to go with some of the commentors here:</p>

<p>- The story really didn't flow well. It's not that you didn't get your idea's across, but for example when you put Kathy in the hospital, there wasn't anything that showed Kathy was up for suicide. That came out of left field. After a single conversation with Karl's mother shouldn't have her trying that out, unless she wasn't wrapped to tight herself.

<p>- Kathy moved on with her life, had a new family, and a third child with her lover/new husband.</p>

<p>- Your story had Paul not even consider moving on with his life, he sat on his hands, in a dark corner, and pined away for Kathy hoping one day she would see he was the better man, leave her <i>new</i> husband, and come back to him. What, did Kathy inherit a gold mine or something? Why would he do that? Why wouldn't he at least "try" to find someone else. There are over, what 4 billion people on the planet? And roughly half of them are women? And Paul wouldn't even consider anyone who wasn't Kathy?

<p>- Karl was created as an abusive mental ill bigamist, who after he had a child with Kathy couldn't be bothered to touch her anymore? I could see right a way this was used<i> only</i> as a vehicle to put Paul and Kathy back together. Why? The orginal story gave no indications that Karl was evil or that Paul would take her back if she was willing to leave him for another man.</p>

<p>- The original story created a woman who left her husband and children to explore life with another man and have his children. You really didn't redeem her from that sterotype. You pretty much ignored how evil she was to put her back with Paul. If you really wanted most readers to like her, she really needed to redeem herself and make the readers feel she should be with Paul. That didn't really happen here.</p>

<p>I like a happy ending, but one that makes sense to me to put them back together. But this story gave the apperence that Paul couldn't move on, and Kathy who, after leaving Paul for her long lost lover that she desperately wanted to restore her lost feelings with, ended up going back to Paul because she has no one left who she thought really cared about her or wanted her. And Paul is all to happy to take her back and pretend nothing happened? I know this is a fantasy story, but I found that too hard to swallow.</p>

<p>One poster commented a year or so back, I think it was Kanga, that when there are logical rules set in place, people can make you believe anything. I can watch a movie and they can manage to convice me that a man can fly and bullets bounce off his chest and eyes. But to do that they have to present the story to me in a way that makes sense for me to believe it. But this story kinda missed that</p>

<p>This story basis was based in lying, cheating, and betryal where she "clearly" states she loves another man over her husband, and if her husband wouldn't be willing to let her have her lover, then she would leave him, and her kids, for the other man. Where this story trys to pick it up is by invalidating the other man as a good choice to be Kathy's lover, and so the wife runs back to her original husband where all is forgiven. That doesn't make sense. The reconcilation, and the way they reconciled, doesn't fit nor make sense why they did it, unless he was so desperate to not be alone he would take any form grief from her just to keep her around him.</p>

<p>Sorry I didn't like your first story, for me you just didn't create any logical reason for both of them to get back together other than because you wrote it as an ending, but I hope you don't give up and will try again.</p>

-Risq

you should have had Karl kill Kathy at the end.

A happy ending is not in the spirit of the original.

she tries to kill herself b/c she was thinking of Paul?

Run paul run and please fuck lots of other woman

in the original story Karl was NOT portrayed as being insane or twisted. A Little selfish perhaps.

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IF karl's 2nd wife and Karl's Mother had NOT contacted Kathy then everything would of been... according to the wife... 100% peachy.

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so she turned to suicide and later to Paul <b> ONLY </b> because she saw she was in real danger.

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what a vile nasty self centered cunt

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and Paul is pathetic. In the original he would NOT accept Kathy's absurd idea to share her with karl. To have sitting in the provebial corner NOT having any sex or female companionship for years is a fucking joke.

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Please author. Please... whatever you do.. Please dont ecver write again

I see that some of the "regulars" have "had at you" so I'll try not to repeat much. I got my start by building on someone else's story. I didn't write a sequel but with the original author's permission, I re-wrote a story. I went on to write some original work. I hope you will too!! I don't think it takes too much to identify those who will be critical in order to help you improve and those who are offended by the behavior of one or more of your characters and as a consequence "tar and feather" you. I hope you haven't been put off too much and will favor us with a story of your own creation. Good luck!

Writer - constructively - your first effort was much better than most except that the preceding was an attempt at life's realities while this was yellow brick road without regard for human self respect.<P>

I believe your heart is in the right place but love can't possibly overcome all and especially this continued want to cuck him and having the others child. His character trait of considered decisiveness based on reason turned leaky in tears and unfathomable reason to an extreme.<P>

Non-the-less there is much to be said for reconciliation --except when it is forced up a mountain too high resulting in non-recognisable and non-likable people. You gave reason for her reversal but contorted his to an extreme that was unacceptable in anything close to the normal realities of life. She discarded and embarrassed him - so he never dated and like an energiser wuss found out you can go home if you are a chameleon by intent without human reason.<P>

On the plus side, you had the courage to write reasonably well in a heartfelt manner. Don't stop writing but either embrace life's reality in the norm or write romance where all things wonderful are expected even when somewhat contrived.<P>

Regards

Good story, especially for a first effort. LW category seems to attract more "nuke everybody" hysteria than all the other categories put together, so dont let it get to you. Keep writing, I look forward to your first original story.

asuming your profile is a joke. I'd say your a woman defending some stupid insane woman. and make a man into dumb nut. if the mother would not have showed up everything would have been super. so why would he want her back after 6 years + a boy from that bastard. how could you invent such a story.

I hope you trust me when I tell you that I am rooting for any new writer here. We all know all too well that the site needs fresh writers. The critique is also not ideologically driven, namely –it’s not biased to encourage one type of stories or themes or resolutions. That would be silly, like asking each author to measure his/her story to MY formula. Therefore, by the same logic I expect that the writer would be “story driven” rather than ideologically biased in his/her story. If you wish to have reconciliation –fine! Just build the characters and the plot so that they lead to it. If you take extreme circumstances –and even fairy tales take their materials from reality, and the readers remain the same anyway- with the same beliefs about marriage honesty integrity even if you took them to Never Never Land. You have to pour into the plot a lot of new ‘evidence’ that would turn our hearts and judgment to see this very broken relations as something that could still rise from the dead. Can you say that you have done that?<P>

With the allusions to the story you have built on: the blatant adultery and the audacious ‘solution’ offered by the wife, the time passed as you offered in your sequel – this type of Romantic resolution does not build on any ground work. You see, you can’t just SAY ‘trust me he loved her’. You have to SHOW us WHY would he still love her.

You need to convince the reader why he have not done the normal thing and have not moved on with his life after she did the parallel of putting a dagger in his heart, slashing it to pieces? You never SHOWED what was there to love. In short there was no ‘there’ there (in the wife). The only element you added was that she was conned. How does that wrinkle in the plot supposed to redeem her in any way? To your credit you did not pull drugs and other extra cheap plot twisters, but the price is that what you did add did not take away or add one bit to her very very unattractive character (I am being polite). So she did not realize that he was not authentically charming, just pretended to be one. So???<P>

Here are my recommendations: 1. Building on this experience, why won’t you start your stories on your own and build your characters from the start the way you like them.

2. Given the disparity between your concept of credibility and the readers’, why not let some editors go over your draft and point out possible disparities such as between characters and choice of resolution?

Geez, let's all gang up on the potential new author, so we can retain the mediocrity that prevails on this site. Can't afford to let in any new talent, now, can we?

until I fell asleep! my god, what big hearted cuckhold romeo idiot. <p>

actually, I thought the story was about being abducted by aliens, and it was a fiction within another fiction. <p>

the technical part of it --- the bloody brit style, plus googol sentences before, inside, and after one-quote quoting style's bloody stupidly terrible. <p>

i should really give this a total "00"; but since the author had ditzy Kathy ramble for 5 thousand years on and on and on and on, keep on rambling, babbling, ranting,,, about how she's gonna spend the rest of ther life on her back making it up to the cuckhold idiot,,, i thought the silly story deserve a "25". <p>

but you have to know: it's a piece of gibberish nonsense about British cuckhold fetish, typified in SEPARATE LIES, with excellent actors Tom Wilkinson and Emily Watson, bout the Wilkinson character having to make appointments to see his wife, played by Watson, when she's traveling with her lover, as well as when she went to suprvise her lover's death ---- the big British gentleman spent a few tearful minutes begging her to give him a few more moments, with her saying "I need to get back inside, to be with him, but I will come home and we will talk when he's gone." <p>

if that's not British fetish for cuckholdry, I don't know what is,,, just like this sequel here....

Look at the rating scale. 50 spells "liked it keep writing".

Sorry but not up there with the best.

In terms of plot, on the positive side, unconditional love is a high concept and a man with the self-discipline to carry it out is a character (IRL or in fiction) worthy of praise. Very difficult if not impossible for most of us mortals to do. Kathy's suicide attempt is indeed logical as the culmination of her narcissistic and selfish behavior (e.g. almost complete disregard of her responsibilities to her children). However, on the negative side, her sudden enlightenment is not credible (see Risq's comments). For a practical matter, I think reconciliation is more credible after some balance has been restored, i.e. they both have had other relationships and with that experience they are able to decide that they want to be together and start over.<p>Writing could use some editing, but for a first effort, not bad.

Unnaturally stiff writing of an unbelievable tale.

Absolutely Disgusting! Very Disturbing & Shocking! Obviously (poorly) written by a women. Yes! She IS soiled, and he's a disgusting pathetic wimp of a door mat. There are those that claim that this site needs more writers, but this web-site does not need any more wimp writers.

First, I would encourage you to keep writing because you are good at it. Having said that I found your first story very sad and not romantic! Kathy who would still be lyng and cheating on Paul cared only for herself and her dual life. She betrayed Paul and her kids without remorse (she showed guilt only when casught). In this story, what I don't understand is why she left Karl? Why didn't she want to save Karl from himself? So what if he lied to her, he was her one true love! She lived with Karl for 5 years and have a son with him but two women show up and talk about his past so now she does not love him anymore?>>>>>>>>>>>

Next, why is now Paul a world class wimp? Kathy treats him like something stuck to her shoe, leaves him the job of being the full time parent and tells him to accept another man (i.e., co-husband) in her life. Paul forces her by threats to leave her kids in their home and she leaves to set up house with her lover and to have his kid. I guess if Kathy had not been caught cheating she would have passed Andrew off to Paul as his kid. Of course, Paul should stand by her during the medical crisis and against Karl. Of course, Paul should forgive her but 5 years amd he comes running back to her at the drop of the hat? Sorry but true romance has to include things like respect, dignity, trust as well as love. When Kathy left Paul it had very little to do with Karl. He was just a prop for Kathy to live out her teenage fantasies.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

SleeplessinMD

are always good, but was it really an ending. If Karl's face was stomped on so bad that he could not be recogonized, was it really Karl? Think about someone that might be released from a mental institution that becomes a staker. Frightening, isn't it?

I'll give it a 50%, mostly because of the warm fuzzy feelings it produced. However, my main criticism is that I felt it did not retain the the original characterisation of the husbad. In the original he has enough self respect to not allow her to demand that he share her. He ends the marriage and that is that. She has made her choice and must live with it and the consequences. Yet in this story he has now offered her an unconditional "come home and be a happy family" card, despite the fact that she betrayed so completely: she had and affair, she demanded he accept being a cuckold (one of the worst ways to humiliate a man), she married the other man, and she had a child to the other man. The two characters are not compatible to me (as a man). I feel that if you are to continue someone else's story the paramount issue is to retain the original characterisation - or at least offer an acceptible reason and context for any change in a character (which you did not). This undermined the story for me. Otherwise it was a nice "love conquers all" romance'.

In the original story, you get a clear sense that as much as the husband loved --- had loved --- this woman, he would sever himself from her, to turn his back on her, as she did him.... <p>

Now, that does not mean he could never be convinced by her to come back to love her. That could happen, as he's a family man and didn't want to have his family broken up. But you could see, in the ORIGINAL STORY, that he's also totally abhorrent when it came to her behavior: not only the cheating but also the suggestion she should have him AND HER LOVER, her first and real love... <p>

To me, THAT showed a man with deep love but ALSO WITH PRIDE; a man who is able to unequically say to someone he loves deeply: "You are either with me and we try hard to forget this episode of our life --- of what you've done --- or we go our separate ways..." <p>

It is NOT LIKE THIS SEQUEL, this man, who says: "Kathy, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, you ARE the only one for me. I will never say no to you! You can fuck as many men as you want, so long as you come home, and love me just a little bit. Continue to help me with the kids, even if some of them are by your lovers. Please, just don't leave me again, I beg you. I love you so much, in fact, I will never love another woman again, like I do you..." <p>

THAT IS NOT A MAN WITH PRIDE (errr, like one of the stories ranked next to this one here, where the man said: "I should not have left you, dear beloved! I was wrong, even though from what I hear, you thought I was a dumb idiot who should be licking you after you're filled up by other men and BE GLAD you gave me the opportunity to do that!), WITH HONOR, WITH SENSE OF SELF-WORTH, self of decency and respect... <p>

This sequel showed a man who --- though capable of living by himself, raising his kids --- lacks what is normally called backbone, lack self-respect. A person, a man or woman, who has self-worth, SELF-RESPECT could still love someone else to destruction; but they also have to CAPACITY to, some point, say: "That's enough. You are NOT worthy of my love and devotion. I have an unlimited amount of love, but it does NOT MEAN it will be spent on you, someone who is clearly not worth of any of it..." <p>

And THOSE lines would have come when she said: "Honey, I love you and our family. But I also love HIM; he's my first and real love. I WANT to keep YOU but I want to live with him, too. I can NOT let him go now that I've found him again...." AND THEN DIVORCED YOU AND GO AND LIVE WITH THAT MAN AND HAVE A CHILD WITH HIM. <p>

When you accept such a person back, THE FIRST THING they said they're coming ---- "love" is NO LONGER the central issue: it is LACK OF RESPECT, lack of self-respect, lack of self-worth, lack of caring for emotional and physical bounderies. It does not show so much love as it show how a terribly abused spouse would say to defend the abuser: "He does not hit me as much as you claim... Only once in a while when I deserve it!"

The flaws in this story line are too numerous to mention. It doesn't work for me on any level. ..... I think that a good reconciliation story ending can be written for Kathy and Paul, but I haven't seen one yet. This certainly is not it. Sorry!

what man want a woman who leaves her kids for another man.writers aren't thinking with their heads or haven't live long enough.

I take it you wanted to provide a positive spin to what was basically a tragedy. No probs ...who doesn't like a happy ending. But in your attempt to provide that happy ending you sacrificed the believability of your characters. Your characterization of Paul was just way to cliche for me. Even in fiction you have to make your characters believable.

and thank you for giving of your time amd efforts for our enjoyment. Suspicion is one of the classics and I don't think any of follow ups have done it justice so don't feel bad. You have the ability so please continue to submit. I believe it would be a far better tale if there were more conlicted emotions on his part and elaboration of them before and after they got back together. He was so angry and seemingly bitter at the end of the original story that I don't see it happening this smoothly.

Your interesting and valuable sequel to the original story has been analyzed to death by various readers. I will not try to add to all of the fine points of criticism that have been aimed at you. Instead, I'll simply express my feeling about your endeavor. It is good and better than the sequel submitted by fdkman262, which I found tedious, long-winded, and lacking sophistication. The sequel by the Celt, though, seemed to be reasonably in line with the original and written to a higher literary standard than yours or that by fdkman262.

Let me see if I can put this where you can understand it. Love no matter how strong can not stand without the foundation of TRUST! From a one room shack to the world tallest skyscraper the foundation is what hold the rest of the building up. He may still love her but that love will fall like the house built on sand the first time a storm comes!!!

Not badly written, but completely unbelievable. All fiction must have at least some sense of reality.

I am continually amazed at the number of people that rant and rave about a story not being good or believable, etc. Until you people are willing to pull out your wallet and actually pay the author you don't have the right to criticize without offering help. The author has given his/her time to write a story and offer it up to you the reader. If you don't like it then don't read it or at least try to help the author to improve through your comments. No one is holding a gun to your head making you read the story. Move on and get a life.

comments come good and bad,just like asssholes.now the wife was acting like a whore to her first husband.she became damage goods.when fruit is damage you throw it away.why any man would wait for a whore of a wife that dump her family for a scumbag.she would be off limit to any good man.

I see all the time and I have on occasion commented on the vitriolic comments about characters who forgive (usually their cheating spouses) and the authors who create those characters.

I try to understand where these hateful comments are coming from. Several thoughts come to mind.

1. They have so little confidence in or respect for themselves that they doubt they could withstand such a betrayal - the pain of it, the self-doubt it would cause, and the comments and thoughts of others. They doubt their masculinity (I don't remember reading such from a woman reader) and fear a test.

2. They have never experienced a love that can overcome the pain and yield forgiveness. So they think such a situation can't happen, and so the story isn't grounded in reality.

3. They're pissed about something and want to take it out on the writer.

Personally, I find inspiring and quite beneficial the stories which end in reconciliation. Any fool can hate and carry grudges, and most probably do.

One final comment. Most of the spouses who eschew reconciliation say they just can't forget some image or phrase, but with very few exceptions, they don't even try to do so. Maybe one out of the many betrayed spouses said he tried counseling. The rest act like victims incapable of directing their lives, which, by the way, is how the US Congress acts.

Rich

Geez, we thought the first version was bad - this one really takes the creampie. What a sad bunch of losers. No one to like or identify with unless the readers themselves are wimps who put up whores like these. Bad news!

They say for a story to be good it has to be believable.This story completly goes against what was written in the orginal one. In this story in one paragraph she spent five happy years with karl, a little farther on you said they were not happy and sex had fallen of another example of an author who does not read their own work.You say you are a romantic what is romantic about a wife who leaves a husband and kids for a high school sweetheart, marries him has a child with him and then you got the first husband taking her back , on any level you the author are a fool and nothing else but a fool.

Yuk! Unreal

why everybody want paul to let the whore back in his life.she choose carl over her family and that the choice she make.any man wouldn't want another man slut for his wife after she left her kids for her lover.there no respect on either side in this marriage.

to anonymous 12/21/08 in the u.s. you should get a life and stop telling other people how to make their comments you are the loser.

The only problem it does not sell. Kathy the wife who first chose to cheat on her husband, then gave him the option to share her with her lover, then finally threw him away as she chose the lover, is now understandably confused as to why would Paul, the very same person she had so blatently cheated on, lied to and disrespected for such a long time, would now pay her any attention: "Why would he do that, for me? Who gave him nothing but heartache, the wife who left him for another man. Why would he do that?" The incredible answer:"Because he loves you, because he never stopped loving you. He sacrificed his happiness so that you could be happy, and he carried on loving you through all the time you were with Karl, imagining you sleeping with Karl, imagining you accepting Karl's body into your body, taking him into your mouth and into your vagina and every time you did it, you pushed another knife into his heart, and yet he never stopped hoping that you were happy."...<P>

If You buy this -even as a fairy tale (which also has to follow human basic psychology), I have - as the expression goes- a huge bridge to nowhere available for sale... or better yet, a failed attempt at putting a lipstick on a miserable character coming together with a an unbelievable persona of a saint (not a human) by the name of Paul.

Enough said...give the writer a husband in the story a CREAMPIE!

AND THE SLOPEHEAD TRAUMA DRAMA FREAKHEAD FEMS JUST NEVER STOP DO THEY !

it takes a sick mind to write this garbage.

it takes a sick mind to write this garbage.

it takes a sick mind to write this garbage.

it takes a sick mind to write this garbage.

it takes a sick mind to write this garbage.

it takes a sick mind to write this garbage.

it takes a sick mind to write this garbage.

it takes a sick mind to write this garbage.

it takes a sick mind to write this garbage.

it takes a sick mind to write this garbage.

it takes a sick mind to write this garbage.

it takes a sick mind to write this garbage.

an incredible stupid person to waste their time writing shit like anonymous from Canada. do you believe you're hurting the author by leaving so many stupid fucking comments. no dipshit. BY leaving so many you increase the chance of someone deciding to go ahead and read it. the more comments , good or bad, a story has the more readers it'll have. so instead of damaging and putting down the author you inflame him and increase the chance of him getting viewers who truly appreciate his talents and the different ways he perceives things. so congrats your actions undermined your intend. you beproud to know you fail so epicly. i may not like the outcome of the story, but i at just know when to give props to a truly good author. Sadly thats more then most of the ignorant people frequently visiting this site.

Not a bad sequel for the story. I have read most of the sequels to this story and they vary from her becoming a lesbian in the end to Paul winning her back from Karl. There is nothing wrong with this one. It is of course far-fetched...but does the job as to a reconciliation between a husband and wife that did and do love each other. The trouble with most of these commenters is that they do not know that kind of love and never will most likely. I enjoyed it and that is the purpose of a story...isn't it? Look how many commenters read it! Thank You

your right it takes a stupid person to write and waste their time doing it so in answer to shinigamigeniocide comment your living prove dipshit.

In your intro you said you couldn't write as well as whiteone_redone. I disagree. He has some serious problems from a lack of humanity and anger. He doesn't like women much and wrote the story that way. Your sequel is an improvement on the original, although sticking in some of the twists may have been over done. Too bad Literotica readers are so uneducated that they don't know how to read a story for itself, rather than as an excuse to spew more outrages.

This sequal is just crap.

A happy ending? how dare you, I wanted to be a miserable bastard like many of the people who have commented.

Oh well never mind I'll just have to say thank you for allowing the characters to be happy after all the shit they went through.

The slut destroyed his marriage and damaged his kids. His solution should be to encourage her to take MORE PILLS and make sure she is NOT FOUND until dead.

NO MAN ( a real man ) would ever take her back! Stories are good when they have at least some "hint" of the real world in them ... clearly this one does not ... too bad because the writing style and story line are not bad!

as are all of your stories, but I have to say this isn't my favorite. He'd be an idiot to take her back after her actions. That isn't love, it's obsession. What's to stop her the next time she decides she love's someone else? She's just a selfish bitch, better off left to her own devices.

Am I missing something?

creampies for Paul

a sad and pathetic tale. karl turning out to be mad, what a sorry excuse!!

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM WRITING

"Polishing a turd" mean anythiung at all to you?

Paul licks her pussy clean after he gets fuck in the ass

I'm known for railing against WACC stories (Wuss Ass Castrated Cuckolds). However the ex in this story was always incharge and following his own agenda. Therefore I would consider this a case of mistaken infidelity

Kathy left Paul for Karl. She did it knowing what she was doing. How on earth would you think that any man would accept her back. I mean come on...and five years later. Waste of my time to read this crap.

This author is in the group of sick and incompetent man hating authors. Has no ability whatsoever and mistakes making a man into a cuckolded wimp cream pie eating husband as believing they are writing "erotic." Do the world a favor and don't post anymore.

And the world would be a better place with more people like yourself walking around. Sorry to the others but I too have a love that I would take a bullet for. And you guys know me I'm no WACC job

Karl may be crazy, but Kathy is in the same boat

Take back a slut that cheated on her marriage ran off with an ass and gave him a kid he didnt want

I take it Kathys IQ is about 50 and anyone gets it if they ask

New level in garbage. Always wonder about the emotional stability of such authors.

is what he has to consider a life with and idiot and a cheat, did they lock up the wrong one. TK U MLJ LV NV

Where did you learn spelling? It's terrible; especially capitalization.

I just gave up, along with remembering how stupid this story is.

But this was a cuckold central story, and I agree with Norcal it was stupid

Shit smells better than this wimp ass garbage! Some of the authors on this site have balls the size of raisins. I have absolutely no respect for this story or the wimp asshole that wrote it.

I appreciate the effort. There were a lot of grammar errors. I suspect that English (or at least writing) is a second language.

Trying to kill yourself is the ultimate act of contrition, though a note was neglected and leaving her kids hanging was a bit odd. Was she going to leave Andrew with Karl?!? That was a big plot hole. He certainly couldn't stay with Evelyn.

I didn't like the dialougue. You need to learn how to define paragraphs and who is speaking better. I feel like I read this twice as I tracked back and forth.

Practice makes perfect. Find and editor and learn from your mistakes. And have a male hero with at least one ball. Essentially this guy said he'd crawl for a sniff of her thong. Any time she got bored with fucking half the Spetznatz, she had good old Paul to help with her bastards and social diseases. After all, his offer was made before he knew she wasn't going to be a cripple.

Nuff said.

`ok honey i really love you and i dont really mind you opened your legs fucked another man, you streatched your cunt out breeding with him, and now it is my fault i dont forgive you. well damn me - come back honey and dont forget to bring a cunt full of another mans cum and make me eat you out. what crap.

It is ok honey! I will take you back ( even if you open your legs again for another man, then I will take you back again!! ) What shit is this??

You can fuck me in the ass because I'm yours...What is it with these closet fags? She runs off and shacks up with someone else for five years. Then she finds out he is not exactly her dream man and then makes it good with her former husband by telling him he can fuck her in the ass. It makes me want to puke.

He did not show he truly loved her. He simply showed he had absolutely no self-respect. The author is not a "hopeless romantic," just "hopeless." She will stray again, because she needs a cock, and what she has now is a second pussy.

He should not take her back considering what she did. In the name of being a hopeless romantic, the author makes the man (paul) look like a total wimp.

It makes your heart warm just knowing the predictable comments and raings the BTB brigade will roll out when a story has a happy ending.

when a cunt toses you over for a different cock she does not get to come back and safe i get a mulligan. sorry bitch - you are history unless you want to be mycum bucket whore, i might keep you areound for that. oh, and you got to get rid of that kid, it will be as crazy as its father. may i suggest a burlap bag and a very deep river if grandma will not take him.

Cheating cunt will cheat again. And wimp husband will wimp again. Oh, I am so happy for a happy ending (barf, barf, barf). Actually, Paul dies 3 years later from AIDS contacted from the slut.