The Diary

"Oh no!" Callie gasped. "Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Shit! I think he found it."

"Who?"

"Who do you think?" Callie groaned. "My fucking dad!"

"Oh shit!" Heather gasped. "That's why he tore out of the driveway this morning! He looked upset. Why didn't you hide it better!?"

"I dunno. Clearly I should have... not just from him." She sneered. Then she thought about how well things went this morning in the shower. He'd hate her now. "You saw him leave?"

"Like thirty minutes ago... in a sports car. Do you guys own a Ferrari?"

"Oh shit. I am so screwed. He'll never talk to me again. I need my phone."

"You need to put clothes on first."

Callie pulled on some shorts and t-shirt. She ran downstairs and grabbed her phone from the counter. There were no messages. She tried a simple text to see if he'd respond.

Calliebear: Hey daddy, where did u go?

******

Kelly listened to her parents argue in the kitchen. They'd forced her to go to her room when they got back from the Anderson's this morning. Usually it was her dad that was the bad cop in the family, but something was up with her mom lately. She seemed irritable all the time. Kelly already missed the party of the year because she was grounded last night. None of it was fair. And now she lost her car privileges for the whole summer. It was excessive. It was beyond excessive. It was criminal.

Jason told her she should hide the spare key to her car that way she could sneak out sometimes and the summer wouldn't be a complete waste. Kelly had to admit it was a devious plan. The only problem was that she didn't have the spare key to her car. She thought maybe it'd be in her dad's office, but she couldn't get in there until later, at least not until they were done arguing. The last time her mom took her phone away she'd hid it in her nightstand. The keys probably weren't there but it was worth a check while they were distracted.

Kelly snuck into her parent's bedroom and opened the nightstand on her mom's side of the bed. She found spare reading glasses, AA batteries, an old remote to a television they didn't even own anymore, spare change, and a vibrator.

"Oh! Disgusting!" She gagged pushing it away, trying not to imagine her mom in any degree of sexual ecstasy.

No car keys. Then she opened the cabinet portion beneath the drawer. There were stacks of books, mostly crime thrillers, and one printed manuscript on top. She reached her hand around searching for keys but not feeling overly encouraged. A few of the books toppled out along with the manuscript. Kelly stacked them back inside.

She was about to put the manuscript back in too when a she noticed the front page was a letter. It wasn't the fact it was a letter but moreover the signature that caught her attention: Forever yours, Your devoted slut wife. She flipped it open and began to scan through it. It was a diary and she continued to page through the entries looking for clues. She had the names Sarah and John and then she saw the name Callie pop up somewhere in the middle.

"Shut the fuck up!" Kelly gasped. "No way! How the hell did she get this?"

The closer she looked at it the more she realized that this wasn't just a diary; it was lurid and filled with details about sex and submission. She wondered if Mr. Anderson gave her mom the copy. Maybe that's why her mom was so upset! Maybe she was having an affair! That's why she made her go and apologize in person. That's why she needed time alone with him afterward. Wouldn't that make all the puzzle pieces fit together? Her erratic behavior lately and her sudden harshness with her punishments?

Kelly was furious with her mom. She was pissed at Callie too. If her mom was having an affair there was one way to end it. She could ruin Callie's reputation and her father's at the same time. It was brilliant. She took the manuscript and snuck downstairs and out of the house and started texting Laney on her way. She was going to scan the whole thing and upload it online and let the diary go viral. The Andersons would never see it coming. Wait until Callie found out her mom was a whore! Wait until the whole school found out! Wait until the entirety of the internet found out! Checkmate, bitch!

******

"I'm sorry I haven't been to see you recently." John said softly. "Sometimes it's so hard for me. But I should have come. It wasn't fair to you. We have so much to talk about and I don't know where to begin. I brought you your favorites."

John placed a stunning arrangement of pink and white stargazer lilies in front of Sarah's headstone. He took a seat on the ground and folded his legs under him and then removed his sunglasses out of respect. He smoothed his shirt to be sure he looked good for her.

"I'm in deep, Sarah. I think I fucked up. I wish you were at home to help me sometimes. I guess if you were at home I wouldn't be having these problems though." He lifted her diary and the letter and placed them on the grass in between them. "I got your letter... eight years late... and your diary... and I haven't seen the rest of what you left yet... I guess that's part of what we need to talk about... so just listen and I'll talk for now..."

"Our daughter turned eighteen last Thursday." The tears began to pour down again as he spoke. "Sarah, she's an absolute vision. You'd be so proud of her. I know you would. She looks just like you. Some days I swear I'm looking at you... and when I tell her that, I can see how happy and sad it makes her at the same time. But she's brilliant and sweet and amazing in every way. I'm not saying that it's my parenting... I think it's your genes mostly. And your love."

"About the letter..." He wiped the tears from his cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt. "I wish you'd told me where you'd stuck it. I didn't know. And it's created a mess, Sarah. A real mess. A John Anderson sized mess or maybe even a John and Becca sized mess... you see I didn't know it was in that chest. And I gave all your things to Callie on her birthday and she found it, not me. And she read it, not me. And things unraveled quickly."

"I don't even know how to tell you. Maybe if I'd read that letter after you passed I would've listened to you. But I didn't. And I neglected my needs. I guess it was all part of the problem. God, this is so hard for me. But I swore I'd never lie to you no matter how bad it was. Get comfortable, babe. I've got a lot to offload. We're gonna be here for awhile."

"So when you told me in the hospital to be as good to Callie as I was to you... well... I don't think you meant it like this exactly... but she read your diary and that girl is stubborn as an ox. I can see it now looking back. I can see how she played me. The same way you did in your hell's kitchen apartment when you told me you wanted Becca to train you. And she played me good. She used the only thing that makes me truly defenseless. She used you."

"Here's exactly how it happened... I want you to know so you can kick my ass should by the grace of God I make it to heaven to join you. If not, maybe there's a special place in hell for me. I pray you'll forgive me, Sarah. Just remember that you're my one and only..."

******

"I'm not calling him, Callie!" Heather scoffed. "He doesn't know I have anything to do with this and I'm going to keep it that way."

"He might respond to you! Please! I'm worried!" Callie pleaded. "It's been hours!"

"No way!"

"Don't you think he's figured it out anyway? He asks you to snoop and you look around my bedroom and then you say there's nothing to see... and the next thing you know you're bent over a lounge chair. Don't you think he'll wonder how you suddenly talked your way into his pants?"

Heather hadn't really considered it, but it did make sense. The optics looked bad, very bad. "Wait. How did you know we did it on a lounge chair?"

Callie scowled. "Is that really important? I saw you, okay? My bedroom looks out over the pool. If you want to have sex with my dad, please don't do it in the open."

"Could this day get any more embarrassing?" She replied with crimson cheeks.

"My father is emotionally broken up. He's suffering a betrayal by his daughter AND the first woman he trusted enough to sleep with since my mom died. He drove out of here completely unhinged by the way you describe it. And he's driving a very fast and very dangerous car! I'm not worried about embarrassed, Ms. Mills! I'm worried about losing my other parent!"

"That's it! Callie, you're brilliant! Where else would he go? He'd go to see your mom!" She blurted out suddenly.

"I'm so stupid! She's in Summit! I need to go to Summit!"

******

John had been talking forever. He finally stood back up and brushed the grass clippings off his jeans. He picked one pink and white bloom and set it on top of the headstone. Sarah always picked one, just one, and tucked it in her hair—or behind her ear when she got too sick and the chemo made that impossible. It was the gesture, he thought.

He knew that talking to her didn't change anything. It didn't go back and undo anything that happened. And deep down he didn't want it to. But Sarah deserved to know. Right or wrong.

"I love you." John said kissing his hand and placing it against the granite headstone. "You're a hot, little slut." He held up the letter again. "I'm going to take your advice. I've waited too long. So it's going to be awhile before you see me again. And if you're wondering... I'm going off to do very bad things." He looked at the letter again. "You always said I knew you better than you knew yourself. Looks like it was the other way around. It's time to satisfy my dark needs. That's what you always called them. I can't fill the whole you left in my heart, Sarah. But I can try."

John turned and walked back toward his car. He had a lightness about him. He felt better now and he felt that growling inside him. He put the diary in his glove box and fired up his engine. He reached in his pocket for his cell phone and found Callie's panties buried at the bottom. He'd forgotten about them. He brought them to his nose smelling her sweet, virgin cunt. Then he went through the missed texts from his daughter. She must've figured out that he found the diary.

John wondered what she must be thinking. Her deception had been so real and so complete. It's not that he didn't sense an innocence at the core of it, but it was the most painful thing she'd ever done to him. And it suddenly occurred to him that Heather knew too. Of course she did. He sat there putting the last few days together, reconstructing it, seeing exactly how it had gone. Callie finding out he wasn't her real father. Heather bringing over that book and discussing a lifestyle that she knew was part of his past. He'd been played for sure. Maybe it was all for the best. Maybe he needed something to jolt the life back into him.

He drove to the entrance of the cemetery. He didn't want to talk to Callie right now. He took another sniff of her panties and then hung them from the rearview mirror before making his way toward Route 24 to head back toward Mendham. But then another thought occurred to him. He flipped through his phone and dialed a number—a number he hadn't dialed in forever. It rang through the speakerphone in the car.

"As I live and breathe, this couldn't be who I think it is..." The feminine voice dripped with sultry, sass through the car speakers.

"It's been a while, hasn't it? Too long, I think."

"Since you're thirtieth birthday, Johnnyboy. And a wicked birthday it was. How is that slut wife of yours?"

"A lot has happened. A lot we need to discuss. Are you still at the same place?"

"Where would I go, Johnnyboy? An old bitch like me? I need a city full of young, eager tongues. There's nowhere else I belong."

John did a U-turn heading back toward the I-78. He sped up the onramp and pressed the gas taking off. Glimpses of the New York City skyline appeared on the edge of the horizon and he raced for it. He raced toward an old life, a forgotten one, something different than hurt that awaited him in the other direction. He glimpsed Callie's panties, feeling a pang of guilt. He glanced from the city skyline to the panties and back again. Thinking. His deceitful little girl could wait.

"Leave the light on. I'm coming home, Becca. I'm coming home."

John put on his aviators and then turned on the radio. AC/DC's Thunderstruck was just starting. A smile crept across his face, a smile that spelled trouble. He put the windows down and then cranked the volume feeling completely free. He slapped the wheel to the beat of the song.

"... Thunder!... Thunder!... Thunder!... THUNDER!..."

Callie's panties waved in the wind from the rearview mirror like a tiny, pink virgin flag—a reminder of unconquered territory and unfinished business.

******

To be continued...

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