The Flume at Falcon Rock

Laurie set some boundaries. "You can put sunscreen on my back, but that's it. I'll handle the newly exposed areas. After all, this isn't a massage parlor."

Twenty minutes later the shock value of the nudity was starting to wear off. Nonetheless, Laurie was checking everyone else out behind the privacy of her big sunglasses.

"I'm astonished at all the shaved pussies out here. Almost everyone. I feel like a gorilla down there. And I don't think I've ever seen this many peckers all at once."

"No one's looking. You're too old, remember. If you get any disapproving looks about your thatch, you can tell them you're kicking it old school."

"I'm not sure what that means, but I'll have that comeback ready if I need it."

We basked in the sun, enjoying the sheer novelty of hanging out with a bunch of naked people. Laurie asked me what Erin thought about us going swimming together.

"I seriously doubt if she's thinks we're up here on Falcon Rock. But she's been teasing me about having a third date with you. She counts the night at the river concert. Just to prove I don't care what she thinks, I'd like for you to be my date for my birthday celebration. It's Sunday night. We're going to Post Oak for barbecue, and we get to go to the front of the line since it's my birthday. After that, we're playing miniature golf at FunLand. There's been talk about doing the midway, too, but I haven't agreed to that yet. Erin's husband Ed is joining us. I hope you can go."

She smiled as she glanced over at me. "How can I say 'no' to a man who's flashing his tool at me? Sure, what time?"

I reminded Laurie we needed to stroll around the whole Falcon Rock area. After all, the main reason for her coming up there was so she could get used to being naked around strange men. Sure, I'd be checking out the lineup of bare breasts on display as we strolled the perimeter. I dare any straight guy to claim he wasn't up there doing the same.

"Lots of peckers to look at, like you said. Let's walk around and see if we know anyone else here."

That almost frightened her into going back down, but I convinced her the possibility was remote.

Afterward I said I wanted to make a couple more rides down the flume before we headed back. Laurie surprised me when she crawled to the top right behind me.

"I want to try it, too. Now that I have enough padding on my rump. It looks like fun."

I went first and waited down at the bottom for her to come shooting out the flume. Needless to say, that was one image I never would have expected to see in my lifetime: a nude Laurie Quinn, squealing and arms flailing, splashing down into the lagoon at Falcon Rock. She still had her hair pinned up, and somehow she managed to mostly keep it dry when she hit the water. Laurie was beaming with excitement.

"You take me to the mostfun places, Joe. I want to go one more time."

So we did. As we waited our turn up top, Laurie weighed in on the Falcon Rock experience.

"I can't believe I'm standing around showing my bare boobs and muff to all these people."

"Liberating, isn't it?"

"That's not the word I would have used. More like 'insane,' 'scandalous,' 'lewd'."

"Oh, Laurie, get over it. You're trying to pretend like you're not loving it. Everyone should get pushed out of their comfort zone from time to time."

"It was the wine. It's your fault," she said playfully. "Getting me drunk and naked. You're a real bad influence on me. What would Erin think?"

"Erin? She'd think I'd made it all up. Laurie Quinn, naked on Falcon Rock? Sliding down the flume? C'mon, get real. As if."

We both found that hilarious. I added a third run before we gathered up our belongings and made our way back down the path. When we got to the car I got out my first aid kit. As I crouched down to take care of her scraped knee, she pulled her skirt up to mid-thigh, letting her legs fall open slightly. I glanced up.

"You said to keep the hem away from the blood," she explained.

Laurie stared at me with an innocent look. I knew she hadn't put her swimsuit back on, so she was naked under her turquoise dress. And she knew that I knew. Down boy.

As we were driving home Laurie suggested another entry to our social calendar.

"Joe, I'd like for you to come over to my place for a movie night Saturday, the night before your birthday. That'll get Erin buzzing. I promise to straighten up a little, at least in the den where the TV is."

I readily agreed. I told her I had my passwords to several streaming services, so she didn't have to go rent a DVD. I wasn't sure what might happen there, but maybe nothing—which was fine with me. Our little surrogate sibling project was working just fine without the possibility of sex complicating things. I reminded her to clean and bandage her knee each day so it wouldn't get infected.

Movie Night at Laurie's:

Saturday night—still officially in my forties. I wasn't sure what kind of home theater setup Laurie had at her place, so I brought my tablet and a connecting cable. Her appearance floored me when she opened the door.

Laurie's hair wasnot pinned up in her usual schoolmarm up-do. The first time I'd ever seen her like that since she was in middle school. Instead it was held by a hair bobble in a high ponytail that hung down to her shoulders. She was barefoot and wearing a dark blue short-sleeve linen shirt that matched her eyes and a pair of light tan linen shorts—the operative word being "short." Before I could recover my senses, she marched up and gave me a kiss on the mouth.

"Come on in. The TV is in the den. Follow me. I found some bottles of wine, too. Don't know if they're any good."

I wanted to offer a compliment for her clothes and tell her how sexy her new hairdo looked, but I was speechless. I gamely followed her back to the den, mesmerized by her ponytail swishing back and forth.

"I bought this TV for my mother a few years ago. It should have all the right hook-ups and whatnot. I'm getting Internet through the cable company, plus there's a Wi-Fi thingy."

I connected my tablet to her TV and asked if she wanted to watch something sappy or bittersweet. Laurie surprised me when she chose the latter. She also pointed to the bandage on her knee and assured me she had followed my first aid instructions carefully, although it still hurt a little.

We sat fairly close to each other on the sofa as Laurie poured two glasses of wine. Frankly I was unsure what I was supposed to be doing in the way of romancing her, if anything. Yes, we had bared everything in front of each other on Falcon Rock, but the presence of all the other nude bodies kept it from being an erotic situation. Even so, I had seen her boobs and pussy, and she saw my dick. Plus all that dirty talk about our failed relationships and sex.

We ended up being playful with each other while we watched the movie. Lots of friendly touching, light bantering, and our heads together when we talked. After it was over Laurie thanked me for selecting the movie.

"I really enjoyed it, Joe. Good selection. Bittersweet it was."

That was a good chance to segue into another deep relationship discussion. Still I felt a bit odd when I asked her a very personal question.

"Laurie, do you sometimes feel unsure around a man? Wondering what he sees in you? Not sure about when or if you should go to bed with him? Overthinking things?"

"Well, I ... I do ... yes. I'm afraid that's most of the time. How did you know?"

"It's something I picked up on since we've been hanging out. I thought we should have a talk about it."

I wondered if I was hitting too closely with my analysis. I tried to come from a positive direction.

"Laurie, you just need confidence in yourself and your ability to read the situation when you're with a man. My observation is very subjective of course, but I think you have a significant amount of sex appeal."

Yes, that she's always kept hidden under those frumpy clothes and prim hairdo, but it looks like something's inspired her to start making some changes.

"And I want to comment on your hair, the way you're wearing it. It looks good, and it projects assuredness. Also your clothes. They seem different from how you usually dress. And I have to say, you wear them well. They evoke the same confident persona that goes along with your more relaxed hairstyle."

"Thanks for saying that, Joe. You probably sense I'm not one to embrace change. It never comes easily to me. It's an unfamiliar feeling, sometimes confusing. I'm still the same me attached to the hair. And the same me under the clothes. Yet I do feel different, better about myself."

I thought it was time to start talking about sex again. "How do you decide when to sleep with a man?"

"I can't say ... it's impossible to put in words, you just know. And you? How do you know when to sleep with a woman?"

"Well, I've already decided before I ask her out on a date, obviously. Guys know in the first three seconds when they see a woman. The only time when there's hesitation is if you think she might be psycho. Problem is, those ones are insanely hot in bed. It's hard to resist playing with fire."

Laurie looked visibly dismayed. "So normal women don't stand a chance compared to the crazies? That's good to know," she said sarcastically. After an awkward pause, she began to confess.

"I'll admit, I'm not that confident about sex. I'm never sure if I'm being adventurous enough. My upbringing and doubts are holding me back."

"Do you perform oral sex on a man?"

"Sometimes."

"Do you like doing it?"

"Sometimes."

I had met a couple of her boyfriends in the past. They seemed like doofuses. I remembered thinking Laurie could do a lot better than those guys. It was hard to picture her down on her knees, orally servicing one of those jokers as he howled like a lonely puppy. That image always seemed comical, in a twisted way—which says something about me, I guess.

"Have you let a man come in your mouth?"

"A few times ... but I can't swallow."

"What do you do then?"

"I run to the bathroom and spit it out. And brush my teeth and gargle."

"Have you ever thought about how that makes the man feel? Seconds after the two of you have shared one of the most profoundly intimate sexual acts, you go sprinting off like he just dumped a load of poison in your mouth. Look, I know women say some guys have nasty tasting cum, but that's a whole other discussion ... for some other time.

"Here's a suggestion. The next time you have a man's load in your mouth, quickly spit it into a Kleenex—quietly, without a lot of gagging or other weird noises—and cuddle with him, play with his spent cock. Or even better, let it drool out onto your breasts and slowly rub it in while you stare up at him. That's very visual. It makes a guy think his load was so massive that his woman couldn't handle it all. She had to let some of it spill out."

Laurie seemed flabbergasted by my recommendations. "Whew, when you first suggested this, I wasn't sure what to expect or how graphic the talk would be. I guess this is what we both needed to find out."

"Do you masturbate?"

Laurie nodded her head.

"How often?"

"How often doyou do it?" she asked defensively.

"When I'm not with someone, like now? About three or four times a week. It used to be twice a day or more when I was a teenager."

"I do it. That's all I'm saying."

"Have you given hand jobs?"

"Yeah, but guys have complained about my technique. I guess I don't keep stroking long enough. I pull my hand away when he starts to spew."

"So how does it make you feel when you bring a man to climax?"

"The actual jizz is kind of gross and messy, but I like the raw passion of watching him come, hearing him moan. Causing a man to lose control because of me, as a sexual being."

"Do you like being eaten out?"

"Of course," she replied, surprised that I would ask such a stupid question. "But it doesn't happen enough. And the few guys who've gone down on me weren't that good at it. I've never come that way. They didn't know how to read my cues about what's working—and what wasn't. I was afraid to correct them. I'm just glad that they're trying at all. Too many men seem to be grossed out by it. And some have flatly refused when I asked. Maybe they smelled their fingers after touching me down there and decided to back out. That doesn't exactly make me feel confident about my lady parts."

Geez, what a bunch of losers.

"I've never understood that attitude," I replied. "Particularly when guys expect to get oral from the woman. It should go both ways. Equally."

Laurie rolled her eyes and nodded in agreement. "Ya think?"

"I don't think it's gross. Not by a long shot. I love to do it. I don't mind doing it as long as it takes, an hour if necessary. I like to keep going and let the woman have as many orgasms as she can stand. That really turns me on."

"You must be popular with the ladies."

"I suppose. Once they get to know me on that level. But it's generally seen as creepy if you brag about it upfront—oops, like I just did."

Laurie laughed. "That's OK, I'm making no judgments over here."

"Do you come when you have intercourse ... with a man?

"I have."

"Do you touch yourself while having sex?"

"I touch my breasts."

"What about downstairs?"

"No, that's rude."

"Not really. It gets me hot when a woman frigs herself while we're fucking."

Laurie let that comment sink in. She was quiet for a few moments, then turned toward me. It turned out she wasn't done talking about cunnilingus.

"So whatwas your longest session? Going down on a woman."

"Oh, I remember it very clearly. It was at least thirty minutes, probably longer."

"Were you successful?"

"Sure, of course. She had warned me as we were taking our clothes off that she never has orgasms with a man, so I shouldn't be obsessed with trying to make it happen. I told her we wouldn't worry about it, just enjoy each other's bodies. But if she wanted to try for it later in the session, I'd be happy to work with her. Let her tell me what she needs. She said she'd be looking forward to it and suggested going down on her might work.

"Later when I got on my knees and spread open her thighs, I promised her I would do it as long as she wanted and not to worry if I was getting tired or impatient. I stuck with it until she came, which she seemed very happy about, but I strained the tendons in my neck. Toward the end she needed it real fast, with my stiff tongue. Rapid back and forth on her clit, left to right. It was kind of embarrassing telling my doctor about it."

"Well, I hope you're all healed now." The comment seemed to startle her as soon as she said it. Laurie clapped her hand over her mouth as her eyes widened. "God, did I just say that? Must be the wine talking."

Laurie shrugged her shoulders and smiled. "We really have let it all out, haven't we? On this sex talk?"

I decided it was time to get my face slapped. Just as she was taking another sip of wine, I posed a question.

"Have you thought about doing more than talking?"

"Withyou?" she sputtered, spilling some wine on her blouse. I nodded.

"What? Are you proposing to have a fling, a one-night stand?"

"I wouldn't use those words. They have a tawdry connotation, where one or both parties feel bad or guilty afterward. Often involving betrayal of a supposed loved one. Look, we both need to get back up on the proverbial horse after being thrown off. Think about all the times you've been to bed with a man and recall the things that made you embarrassed or uncomfortable. Or sexual techniques you worried about doing wrong or not well enough. Or ones you were afraid to ask for. This would be a low risk exchange for both of us. Find out what needs fixing without worrying about what a stranger will think.

"We each could say the embarrassing things and ask the uncomfortable questions now that usually take months or years, or never get said at all. We both could go back into the dating pool with confidence. We can make the mistakes and suffer the uneasiness—now, with each other—instead of it ruining a promising prospect in the early dating stages. Of course, it would have to be a mutual decision if it happened more than once."

Laurie was dabbing at the spilled wine while I made my pitch. She finally looked up.

"The good girl in me is trying to act offended, but ... it makes sense. Working this out with someone you know. We're both going back to separate coasts soon, so it's not like it's a marriage proposal."

Laurie contemplated this for a long time. She turned toward me and put her hand on my knee.

"What happens if one of us likes it too much?"

"Good question. I'll admit that's the only danger. But even if we both like it too much, I guess it would burn itself out naturally at some point."

Laurie was quiet as she took a few more sips of her wine and stared down at the contents of the glass, as if the right answer would be floating near the bottom.

"I hope you weren't expecting me to respond on the spot. Right now."

"Of course not. Take your time. I know that was a heavy proposal to spring on you."

Another long, uncomfortable silence followed. I figured as long as I was shocking the hell out of her with my sexual frankness, I may as well keep going.

"Have you ever looked at adult videos online?"

Laurie acted nervous and offended. "You mean porn?" She struggled with what to say next.

"My ex-fiancé did. He was really careless, leaving traces all over our home PC. I easily found the folders where he'd been saving naked girl pictures from the Internet. It really made me feel hurt and inadequate, thinking about him drooling over all those chesty women. Probably jerking off in the shower thinking about them instead of having sex with me."

"Laurie, I'm sorry to hear that. Whatshould be happening is both of you looking at it together. Enjoying things that are a mutual turn-on."

"Joe, this might shock you ... but I will admit to having some curiosity about what all is out there to look at. But I'm afraid of viruses or leaving evidence on my computer. Or having the government know what I've been looking at."

"Worried that it'll go on your 'permanent record'?" We both snickered at that all-purpose hollow threat that parents of our generation used on their wayward children. I offered to get my tablet and show her a few things.

"Anytime you feel weird about this and want to shut it down, just say so." I disconnected the cable from the TV. It would be much too raw to view porn on the big screen. "I'll surf over the cellular connection on my tablet. There'll be absolutely no way to trace it back to you."

Laurie looked excited and nervous. "Am I going to be grossed out by what I see?"

"There's always that chance, but we can just scroll away from it or hit back on the browser."

I offered a theory that I hoped would put things in context.

"Sexual practices and turn-ons exist on a continuum like everything else. On one side you'll find people whom you think are perverts for the weird things they do in bed. And on the other side you'll find people you think are hung-up and prudish because they won't try the things that get you hot. But keep in mind the prudes thinkyou're the pervert and the perverts thinkyou're the prude. It's all relative.

"We need to find out where you fall on that continuum. You'll see some things that look icky or stupid or weird or twisted. But you'll also see things that turn you on, maybe things you hadn't thought about or things that you wanted to do but were scared to ask. We need to find your comfort level.

"Have you ever used toys?"

She seemed flustered at the question. "I could never walk into a sex shop and buy that kind of thing."