The Journal

"If you mean my arse," Jason chuckled, "it's fine yes, just hurts a bit."

"Sorry," the word hung there, Jason unsure as to it's meaning, before finally realising why Bertie was so subdued.

"No, don't be like that," he pecked the top of Bertie's head.

"But, I shouldn't have done that, you weren't okay...," Bertie mumbled into the bubbles.

"It wasn't your best idea I'll grant you," Jason plonked his chin on Bertie's head, "but you were right about me."

"I know," Bertie's voice was small, but a little bit cheeky.

"Fuck you," Jason laughed, tickling Bertie's ribs, "but thanks."

"That's okay, it was a bit of a risk I guess, I'm glad it worked out."

"How did you....no, nevermind," Jason dropped kisses on Bertie's shoulders.

"Your brother," Bertie answered anyway, "you wouldn't be in love with a man like that if you didn't want to bottom, I'm just sorry that man ruined it for you." Jason couldn't help but shudder at the mention of that man,

"It's okay, now when I think about it, I just think of you," Jason couldn't help but blush, his own words so embarrassing.

"Shit," said Bertie, his own face turning bright red.

"Don't you blush, I'm the one who had to say it," Jason splashed him, turning redder.

"S-Shut up! You're not supposed to say stuff like that," Bertie splashed back, his face on fire.

***

Jason was not one for exaggerating, but he was having possibly the best sleep he'd ever had when his phone went off the following morning. As much as he wanted to ignore it, with a job like his, Jason never liked to miss calls, even though he knew he had the day off. He fumbled for his phone, eventually finding it in his discarded jeans, answering without even checking the caller. The joy of eyeing up Bertie's naked form curled in his bed was quickly dissipated by the caller on the other end of the line, "got it," Jason muttered sleepily, reaching for some underwear, "I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Work?" a groggy Bertie asked, stretching out on the bed, his morning wood looking far too enticing.

"Not this time," Jason grumbled, pulling on last night's jeans and a fresh t-shirt, his arse protesting, "fucking Danny," he tutted, yanking on some socks.

"Want me to come?" Bertie was already getting dressed, exchanging his ripped shirt for one of Jason's, which looked a little hilarious on him.

"If you want," said Jason, giving Bertie a peck and handing him the smallest jacket he owned.

It was half an hour and several tube stops before they reached their destination, Bertie back to his quiet self, which was fine, as Jason was too pissed to care. He felt like a disappointed father as he marched into the police station, heading straight for the desk. "Jason Turner, I'm here for Daniel Thompson, he was brought in a few hours ago," he handed the constable his ID whilst she blatantly checked him out, clicking her tongue when she spotted Bertie's fingers entwined with his own. "Jones!" she barked in a shrill cockney accent, "Is Thompson alright to go?"

"Fuck Janet no need to shout, I'm only helping out here so maybe talk to Rowan about it," an unforgivingly attractive man rounded the corner, his sharp suit hugging a lean, tall body, piercings dotting his ears, which poked out through his russet hair. Even hand in hand with Bertie, Jason couldn't help but feel his cock twitch. "Who's come for him anyway?" the man came to the desk, eyeing up Jason before spotting Bertie.

"Caleb?" Bertie's childish voice was full of joy.

"Hey mate," the man, Caleb, rounded the desk, pulling Bertie in for a scarily intimate hug and kissing him on the cheek, Jason felt the green eyes of jealousy replace his own, a nasty pool of angry tar bubbling in his gut. "You must be Jason," to his surprise, Caleb came over and gave his hand an enthusiastic shake, also leaning in a kissing his cheek and giving him a very obvious appraisal. "Not bad Bertie," he said, none to subtly giving Jason's arse a little pat, which made him squeal in pain. "Interesting," a slow, mouthwateringly hot, smile spread across Caleb's face, "very interesting."

Bertie's little hand carefully, but very deliberately, removed Caleb's from where it rested on Jason's backside. He caught the other man's eye and pouted, giving a firm shake of his head, blonde hair flying, Caleb raised a brow, but gave a little nod, Jason simply stood, dumbstruck. "I get it," Caleb huffed, turning and gesturing for them to follow, "these guys are with me Janet," he said, taking them down corridor after corridor until they got to an interview room. "Besides," Caleb said, unlocking the door, "I've got a baby on the way, no time for your sorry arse," he winked at Jason and it clicked that this was Tiffany's partner that everyone had been missing at the show. Jesus, bisexuals are scary.

The door opened to reveal a tense and scruffy Danny, handcuffed and sat at the desk. "Jace!" he went to stand but his was easily pushed back to sitting by the guard, "fuck you!" he shook off the policeman.

"Language Danny," Jason sighed, going and sitting next to him at the desk, it wasn't the first client he'd seen arrested, but Danny had been doing so well and honestly, Jason felt betrayed and disappointed that he'd thrown it away. "What happened?" Danny pouted, avoiding Jason's gaze, "okay fine," Jason turned to Caleb, "what has he been charged with?"

"Jace!" Danny whined.

"Aggravated assault," replied Caleb, actually looking serious.

"Fuck Danny," Jason let every ounce of anger and disappointment slip into his voice.

"Jace! It wasn't like that I-,"

"What? You though instead of become a bricklayer you'd get yourself put in prison?" Jason was shouting, he couldn't help it, Danny was his only really successful client, he'd been so proud of him and he was throwing it all away.

"No! But after what they did how could-,"

"So what are you going to do now huh? Go and meet your dad in prison?"

"Mr. Turner-," the guard looked a little concerned.

"Of course not Jace! I-,"

"Then fucking what? Cause from where I'm standing all I see is some shitty teenager who wants to feel like a big man!" Jason bellowed, breathing hard from his rant. Danny looked terrified, tears welling in his eyes.

"Jay," Bertie put a hand on Jason's shoulder, somehow draining his anger, leaving him feeling tired and sad. Bertie made his was over to Danny, wiping his tears and muttering something which made Danny break a smile, "Caleb?" he said, eyeing his friend, who sighed.

"I think they're going to drop the charges but it's the owner of the bar he needs to apologise to, they wrecked the place, he'll want money for damages or for Danny to do time in young offenders."

"I'll pay the damages," Jason felt tired, "also, if you have the details of the bar owner, I'd like to apologise to him personally." Caleb looked like he might protest, but stayed silent.

"You hear that Danny?" Bertie's sweet little voice seemed so out of place in the police station. Danny gave a little nod, burrowing deeper into Bertie's arms.

They made their way to Speak Out in silence, Jason awkwardly striding ahead whilst Bertie and Danny shuffled a few feet behind. They headed to the fifth floor, which housed an emergency dormitory for special cases, Jason arranged a place for Danny for a few nights. He led the other two to the room, which housed a basic bed and desk, with shared access to a kitchen and bathroom. "I've booked you in for three nights," Jason's voice was a little hoarse from his outburst, he desperately wanted to apologise but couldn't seem to find the right moment.

"Thanks, you didn't need to do that," it was the most sincere Jason had ever heard Danny speak.

"Well, as a minor the station should have called your parents, but considering you got them to call me, I'm guessing we should give it a few days before you go home? Tell your Ma your hanging out with some mates yeah?" Jason was both worried and proud that he had been the one Danny had called, both happy that Danny trusted him so much and concerned, because Danny's family were the only ones who kept him grounded.

"Thanks Jace," Danny sat down on the bed, looking like a lost puppy.

"Oh Danny," Jason rubbed his neck, going over and crouching in front of Danny dejected form, "you do understand why I was angry right?" Danny nodded, teary again, "what happened mate?"

"I got a call last night," Danny's pretty face was covered in tears, "my dad's dead," he sobbed openly, suddenly looking like a child, he was a child. Jason sat beside him on the bed, Bertie moving to do the same, the both held him, soothing him as best they could. Danny's father was only ever going to meet one fate in prison, and it wasn't dying of natural causes. "I went to this bar to drink it off," Danny continued, Jason frowned, Danny had dropped hints about having a fake ID but Jason hadn't taken them seriously, "and the more I drank, the more upset I got. These two guys came over, asked why I was crying, said it was 'cause I was a fag," both Jason and Bertie flinched a little at that, "so I said yeah I was and they told me to prove it," Danny's sobs became more gutteral. "They dragged me into the bathroom, started getting their dicks out and shit," Bertie looked paler than ever, but Jason knew how this story would end, "so I beat the crap out of them," Danny finished.

Jason almost laughed at the shock, relief and wonder on Bertie's face. It was obvious why no charges would be laid, no one wanted the potential sexual assault of a sixteen year old boy on their record. Jason chuckled, he didn't like rewarding violence, but Danny was the son of a hardened criminal, he'd grow up punching and kicking his way through life, he'd even talked about how he and his father had been doing target practice with illegal firearms since he was seven. "I'm sorry about your da Danny," Jason patted the boy's shoulder, "and about earlier, you know why I did it." Danny nodded, wiping his eyes and accepting the hug Jason was offering, "I am a little proud of you though," Jason added, flashing Danny a grin.

Chapter eleven

"You were good back there," said Bertie, flopping down on the bed. They'd spent the rest of the day chatting to Danny and pottering around London, smoothing things out the the owner of the bar before wordlessly returning to Jason's flat together. "Don't be ridiculous," Jason muttered, running a towel over his hair and trying to cool off from the hot, hot, shower they had shared, "I was a mess."

"You got angry, shows you care," Bertie stretched out on the bed, his lithe body naked and flushed with warmth, Jason's cock twitched.

"You were better," Jason abandoned his towel and went to straddle his lover, "you could be a counsellor you know? You've got the real life experiences, people like that."

"I think I need to sort myself out first," Bertie smiled, but his eyes were serious, "I think, we both should Jay." Jason hesitated, Bertie was the only person he'd told his multitude of dark secrets to, it seemed weird to share them with anyone else, like he was breaking some invisible rule. "We could go together," Bertie finally added when Jason didn't speak. Jason thought,

"Together," he conceded.

"Good boy," Bertie wrapped his arms around Jason's neck to yank him down for a kiss. Jason couldn't help but moan into his lover's mouth, that phrase was one Bertie seemed to use when he was turned on and Jason's cock was already developing a conditioned response. Being referred to as 'boy' should have sent him into some kind of panic attack but when Bertie said it he felt like he was being seduced by the world's sexiest school prefect. He deepened their kiss, tasting the coffee Bertie had drunk before their shower. "Come here," Bertie said in his posh, breathy voice, directing Jason so he said against the headboard of the bed. Bertie fetched lube and condoms before settling himself between Jason's legs, "finally," he giggled, his persona playing just a little. Gracefully scooping his hair back, Bertie ran his tongue the entire length of Jason's cock. "Oh," it was somewhere between a breath and a noise and left Jason's mouth without his permission. Bertie's tongue was magic, it seemed to travel over every part of Jason's cock, never touching the same place twice. It was only when Jason let out a frustrated moan that Bertie finally sealed his sweet little mouth around the tip of Jason's cock, still for half a second before suddenly swallowing down the entire thing. "Oh Jesus fuck," Jason nearly shot off the bed, pleasure spiking deep in his belly, his hands clawing at Bertie's head, unsure if he was pushing or pulling.

Jason had never done anything sexual combined with actual feelings of human affection before, the result was almost unbearable. Watching a man suck your cock is exciting, watching Bertie, the man he loved, was so erotic Jason nearly had to look away. The whole act was new, not to mention Bertie had a disturbing level of skill which kept Jason on the brink of orgasm for what felt like hours. "Ah st-stop," Jason final gasped, trembling and sweaty from Bertie's attentions, "too much," he got out, barely able to look, the sight before him was so pornographic. Bertie just gave one of his little smiles before grabbing the lube and pouring a huge amount onto Jason's hand, "hurry," he whispered, turning around and getting on all fours.

"Fuck," Jason scrambled up, quickly rolling on a condom.

"I said hurry," Bertie wiggled his creamy posterior, looking over his shoulder with an outrageously lusty expression. Jason gulped, his years of experience seemed to fly out the window. He shoved two fingers into Bertie's hole, enjoying the little noises he made and the ripple that went up his spine. Twisting and turning, Jason quickly found Bertie's prostate, jabbing at it with long fingers, enjoying the pink flush that slowly coated Bertie's fair skin. "Fuck me Jay," his lover whimpered, his cock already leaking precum all over the bedspread. Jason forced himself to slow down and remain calm, Bertie's sheer seductiveness taking chunks out of his self control. "Not yet," he managed to huff out, adding another finger which made Bertie squirm in the most arousing way, "be patient," his own voice was raw. Leaning over, Jason continued to stretch and spread Bertie's hole, the lewd wet sounds of his movements joining the sounds of their heavy breathing. Jason shielded the smaller man with his body, kissing and licking Bertie's back, raising little hickeys and breathing in his strawberry shampoo.

Only when he was certain Bertie was ready, Jason flipped the other man onto his back, giving Bertie a long, dangerously sensual, kiss before sliding into him in one slick move. "Ah Jay," Bertie's voice hit some amazing pitch, his legs immediately winding around Jason's waist. Muscle memory told Jason to thrust in hard, to flip Bertie back over and shove his face into the bedspread to he could pound him into the mattress, to cover his mouth less the sounds of his pleasure or reluctance interrupt Jason's own enjoyment. However, those days were gone and Jason couldn't have been rough even if Bertie had begged him. He slid in and out with long strokes, their body's rippling against one another and Bertie's hips met him with each thrust. "Jay, c-cumming," Bertie panted out only a few minutes into their love making, seeming to surprise both of them, not to mention that his cock was trapped between their bodies, untouched. Jason quickened his pace, pulling back ever so slightly to revel in the beauty of Bertie's orgasm. His pale body shook, like before he was silent, save a tiny whimper, jets of cum leaving his cock for what felt like hours. Jason dotted kisses on his face, pecking his eyes, scrunched closed and sliding his tongue along Bertie's lips, which granted him entry. They kissed through the final aftershocks of Bertie's orgasm, his lithe body going slack, it was only when his honey eyes finally refocused that he gave Jason a little nod to continue.

Jason didn't need to be told twice, during and after his orgasm, Bertie's hole had clamped down on Jason's cock, riding the line between pain and pleasure. He continued his long strokes, though now he was trembling with his own impending orgasm. He leaned in to lick and lightly bite Bertie's sweet nipples. "Jay, love you Jay," Bertie was whispering, clenching and unclenching in the most magical way.

"God Bertie," Jason raised his head for another, rather sloppy, kiss, his orgasm too close for him to be able to focus.

"Cum, my love," Bertie's elegant voice sent Jason over the edge, his body practically collapsing with the strength or his orgasm. He thrust around wildly, Bertie's heat almost scalding his sensitive cock, before finally taking a huge breath and letting his shuddering body relax. "Good boy," Bertie was repeating over and over again, pulling Jason down and wrapping him in his little frame.

"That was..." Jason couldn't find the words as he somehow summoned the strength to roll off his lover and flop onto the bed, shivering as the sweat cooled on his body.

"Amazing? Mind blowing? Best sex of my life?" Bertie rolled onto his side, propping himself on an elbow.

"Yeah, those things," Jason gave a lazy grin. It was an unspoken fact between them that they had both had plenty of sex with plenty of partners, but sex with Bertie was like nothing else, and the other man seemed to feel the same way. They cuddled and kissed, snuggling together under the covers, something else Jason had never really done before. "I meant what I said before," Jason mumbled sleepily into Bertie's hair, "about seeing someone together."

"Thanks," Bertie whispered into Jason's chest.

"So long as it's none of my fucking relatives," Jason made them both chuckle.

"I like your relatives," Bertie pulled away to look into Jason's eyes, "one minute I didn't have a mother, now it feels like I have two," he did one of his little smiles.

"Fuck you're adorable," Jason squeezed his lover close, aggressively kissing him on the forehead, "well they seem to love you if that helps. Give it six months and you'll regret letting my mum spoil you, you'll be the size of a house." Bertie giggled at that, a wonderful sound,

"I look forward to it," he grinned, making Jason's heart squeeze,

"Me too."

Epilogue

March thirteenth was quickly becoming one of the most stressful days in recent history. I've literally done fucking surgery that was easier than this, Jason thought as he exited the tube, his bundle of balloons struggling to get out the doors. He grabbed his phone out, scrolling back to find Tiffany's text with the address of his desired location, thankfully it wasn't far. To say Jason regretted giving Tiffany his number was an understatement, the woman seemed to have an umbilical cord attaching her to her phone. As if to make his point, Jason's phone buzzed in his hand,

Tiffany (pregnant one): Are you here yet?

Before he could reply it buzzed twice more,

Tiffany (pregnant one): Did you get the balloons?

Tom (beauty spots): Tiff asks if you got the balloons

Jesus, Jason didn't bother replying, he was only a few minutes away. Even with his utter lack of social skills, Bertie's friends had attached themselves to Jason almost instantly, including him in their group chats and summoning him to every musical, exhibition and baby shower. They were a lovely group, loud and slightly mad, but lovely. Jason still had trouble remembering who was who, only knowing Tom was the pretty one and Tiffany was the one whose belly was growing at the speed of light.

"You made it," that belly was in front of Jason now, paired with an American accent.

"I did," Jason sighed, glad to finally part with his plethora of helium filled nightmares, "you look," he took a moment to scan Tiffany's tired eyes and puffy ankles, "well?"