The Journal

"It's twins," she grumbled so quietly, Jason barely heard.

"It's what?"

"Twins," she gritted out, "do you know how much strain it puts on your lower back have two babies stuck to your front?"

"Umm...no?"

"A lot," she threw her hands in the air, marching of towards Caleb to yell something abusive.

"Congratulations?" Jason said quietly, avoiding her wrath as much as possible.

The rest of the set up went rather smoothly, with Tiffany finally calming down enough to spend most of the day firing gooey looks at Caleb, who was practically glowing with their news. At twelve, most of their guests rocked up, including the rest of Bertie's friends and Jason's family. After delaying as long as possible, Jason was eventually forced into the function room's toilets to change into his March Hare costume, putting on the ridiculous rabbit ears. After finding out they were Bertie's favourite novels, the theme of his party had quickly become Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Even without their resident costume designer, Bertie's friends had done a wonderful job, providing Jason with tweed brown trousers, a red blazers and an oversized bowtie to go with his ears and tail. The function room looked amazing, the huge long table covered in tea cup and cakes, biscuits and fine china, the walls covered in bunting and flowers. Though not as spectacular as Bertie's works, their costumes were decent, Tom looking scarily sexy in a skin tight Cheshire cat costume probably meant for a woman, Ambrose trailing after him in his sweet dormouse costume, his curls making him look rather adorable. Tiffany was Alice of course, looking great, if you ignored how wrong it looked having a pregnant Alice, Caleb kept close to her, rubbing her belly and doffing his Mat Hatter hat. Mum and Mama looked rather sweet together as the Red and White Queens, Alex and Lucy also looking delightful as the King and Queen of hearts, little Maisie and Teddy dressed as tiny playing cards. Mike and Carl were ten times too attractive to pull off their Tweedledee and Tweedledum routine, but looked great anyways, a demure Nadine laughing along, her ribbon clad neck and cat ears marking her as Dinah.

"Jesus," Jason couldn't help but let out when Tiffany's brother Joe and Ambrose's brother Darcy emerged from the bathroom as two halves of a rather terrifying looking caterpillar.

"Pretty great huh?"Joe's, A-grade Californian smile was a little blinding, "I'm not a huge as Leon but I think we can pull it off," the idiot pair high fived. The costume was originally designed for Rory and Leon, the pair were stuck in Berlin and had before forced to cancel, along with Danny, who had called at the last minute to say he couldn't come. Jason sighed, checking his phone for the millionth time and suddenly realising Bertie was due any second, "lights!" he whispered harshly, nodding to Tom, who scampered over to turn them off before joining the rest of them, tensely huddled in front of the huge tea party table.

"Jay?" Bertie's sweet fuck-me voice floated into the dark room, forcing half a dozen of the men present to adjust themselves, "hello?" Jason parted from the group, heading over and flicking on the light switch.

"Surprise!" their little audience shouted appropriately, the children practically squealing with delight.

"Wh-what?" Bertie's mask slipped a little at that, his eyes shining with genuine emotion.

"Happy Birthday Sunny," Jason pressed a kiss to Bertie's lips, subtly sliding on a pair of white rabbit ears.

"For me?" Bertie was still in shock, his eyes unblinking as he looked around the room, one hand coming up to feel what Jason had put on his head.

"For you," Jason pecked his cheek, "happy thirty third birthday my little white rabbit."

The tea party with a roaring success, Bertie spending most of it giggling like Jason had never seen him. The costumes went down well, even with Bertie subtly hinting that he could have made them better. They drank tea in buckets, indulging in macarons, birthday cake and anything else sugary sweet to the point where Lucy had to forcibly remove a jam tart for little Masie's hands. They danced to terrible nineties music, Jason's hare ears falling off on more than one occasion, the performer's amongst them easily outshining the rest of the group. Tom even sang their song, something even Jason hadn't known was going to happen, he had to duck to the bathroom to dry his eyes afterwards.

It was early evening by the time they made it back to Jason's flat, still on a sugar high and loudly humming old Take That songs on the tube. Jason couldn't help as his nerves grew once they'd settled into the flat, dumping the huge bag of gifts Bertie had received and flopping down on the sofa. "I think that was the best birthday ever," Bertie said quietly, snuggling into Jason's side and running his dainty fingers over his chest.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," Jason's voice was a little off, he was starting to regret his plan.

"Jay?" Bertie sat up, looking concerned. It's his fucking birthday, don't make it about you.

"I err..," Jason swallowed, "I haven't given you your gifts yet," he got up, standing and heading into the bedroom.

"Gifts?" Bertie's emphasised the 's', "you didn't need to get me anything Jay," he followed Jason, sitting cross legged on the bed, looking as relaxed as ever, whilst Jason grabbed three boxes with shaky hands.

"This one first, it's for later though, not right now," Jason rambled as Bertie took the first, medium sized box, undoing the bow and pulling off the lid.

"Oh, wow," Bertie's cheeks were stained pink as he pulled out the contents, "I didn't know you were into this kind of stuff," he quirked a brow at Jason.

"I'm not but," Jason broke their eye contact, "when I was getting your white rabbit costume it sort of just..." he let the sentence hang, watching as Bertie played with the fluffy white tail attached to the slender, silver butt plug.

"I like it," he whispered, forcing all the blood to rush to Jason's cock, "but not for now right?" Jason shook his head violently.

"This one you can have next," Jason spoke like a neanderthal, too much blood in his cock to get any actual brain power as he handed over the next, rather large box. Bertie looked genuinely gleeful at the size of the gift, pulling open the packaging like a child before sitting back on the bed, hand over his mouth. "Is it okay?" Jason asked, unsure of what Bertie's expression meant but relieved when he nodded mutely. It was a collage of photos, mostly of Bertie and Jason, but including a few of Bertie with his mother, one of Bertie and Adam which Jason had managed to sneak out of Bertie's flat, several Tiffany had sent over of their entire little gang together and an adorable one of Bertie playing with the kids. "This is..." Bertie traced each photo with his delicate little fingertips, not teary, but clearly emotional, "thank you Jay," a huge smile suddenly lit up his face.

"I'm glad you like it," Jason leaned in for a kiss.

"And the last one?" Bertie looked excited now, spurred on by the quality of the previous gifts.

"Umm yeah, the last one," Jason held the final, rather small, box in his hands, his mind telling him to hand it over, his body not moving.

"Jay? Do I get my present or not?" Bertie's voice was light, clearly amused by Jason's blank expression.

"Oh yeah, right," Jason took a big breath, almost shoving the box into Bertie's hands, immediately anxious the moment it left his grasp.

"Hurrah," Bertie was excited, undoing the ribbon quickly and pulling out the scrunches of black tissue paper. There was a moment of silence as a look of confusion swept over his face, staying there for a full second before it shifted to something else, awe and love, followed by overpowering arousal. "Jay," he croaked, pulling out the pair of thick leather cuffs, joined together by a single ring. Their sex life had been wonderful thus far, sweet, gentle, vanilla sex that Jason would never get bored of, but he wanted to give Bertie more, wanted to show him the full extent of his trust.

"They're for today," Jason focused intently on his hands folded in his lap, only hearing the little breath Bertie sucked in.

"Jay, if you don't want to do this.." the words were there, but even Bertie couldn't hide the desire in his voice, nor the obvious tent in his trousers.

"I do want to do this," Jason finally summoned the courage to meet Bertie's honey eyes, "I trust you," he bit his lip, "so make it good okay?"

Apart from that first time, Bertie made a point never to pressure Jason into bottoming, in the now six weeks they had been 'together', Bertie had topped him a total of three times even though they fucked most days. It wasn't that Jason didn't want it, he wanted it very badly indeed, but since their first, Bertie would only top when Jason asked, and summoning the courage to do that something so mortifying happened very rarely indeed. Even now, Jason's heart thudded in his chest watching Bertie place lube and condoms on the bedside, stripping off the last of his clothes. He knelt next to Jason's tense, prone form, undoing one leather cuff and wrapping it around Jason's wrist, making his breath hitch. "I'm going to do it like this okay," Bertie's voice had slipped a little, hitting that higher pitch it sometimes did when he was aroused, his tongue snaking over his teeth. To show Jason what he meant, Bertie pulled his arms up, securing the cuffs on each wrist before looping Jason's arms over the bedpost, leaving him stretched out diagonally on the bed. Jason's lips were dry, being restrained with a huge step for him, but he hadn't counted on Bertie using the furniture, now not only were his wrists bound, but he was also trapped on his back and secured to the bed.

"If you ever want me to stop," Bertie took Jason's flushed face in his hands, kissing him gently, "just say umm.." he looked around the room, "Pavlov," he finished, having spotted one of Jason's psychology textbooks. Jason nodded, testing his restraints, which were worryingly secure, "Pavlov," he breathed nervously.

"Pavlov to stop," Bertie clarified again, ducking down to place a tingly kiss on Jason's jawline, "because if you just say stop..." Bertie let the sentence hang there, shooting Jason a look that had his cock hard in moments.

Returning to Jason's jaw, Bertie continued with his delicate kisses and sweet little nips, making Jason gasp as he moved to his neck. Bertie's kisses gradually became messy hickeys, his nips turning into bites. "Ah," Jason grunted at one particular bite near his Adam's apple, rattling his restraints, hips flying into the air. What the fuck is this? I could cum already. He'd meant a display of trust when he'd given Bertie the cuffs, the hadn't quite meant for their deviation away from the vanilla stuff to get him so unbelievably aroused.

Bertie continued his assault, pulling more moans and gasps from Jason's throat, his wrists already sore from where he strained against his bindings. Fortunately, Bertie then chose to move down to Jason's nipples which, thankfully, weren't nearly as sensitive as his abused neck. After only a few moments of reprieve, the fire in Jason's body was lit anew when Bertie continued his journey south, licking and kissing every inch of skin around Jason's cock, but ignoring his now-painful erection. "Bertie," he whined, his hands uselessly fisting in his restraints, wiggling his hips in an attempt to get his lover's mouth near his cock.

"Patience my love," Bertie fired him an evil little grin before suddenly attacking his balls.

"F-fuck!" Jason's back arched off the bed, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, his body ablaze with heat. Bertie's tongue worked it's magic and Jason was so dazzled by it, he barely noticed when Bertie pushed at his thighs, folding him in half and exposing his hole.

Something hot and wet skated over Jason's entrance and in a nanosecond, reality came crashing down around him. "Bertie!" he squeaked, his voice uncontrollably high, his arms struggling wildly, the metal ring clattering against the bedpost. Only one person had ever done that to Jason before, only one person. Bertie continued, his tongue drawing lazy circles around Jason's entrance, it was unimaginably pleasurable and equally terrifying. "Bertie stop! Stop Bertie!" Jason cried out, his legs flailing, only stilled Bertie's firm grip on the back of his thighs. "Let me go, you have to stop," even to his own ears, Jason's voice was so heavily doused in wanton desire, his words juxtaposed by the precum flying from the tip of his wildly twitching cock. Bertie paused his actions for a moment, raising his eyes to Jason's and giving him a long look of acknowledgement before flashing a bewitching smile and returning to his task. Oh god, I didn't use the safe word, he knows I won't use it, he-

"Fucking fuck!" Jason screamed out as Bertie's tongue buried itself in his arse. Ignoring his cursing and writhing, Bertie doubled his efforts, one hand darting to the side to grab to the lube before he finally freed Jason from his sinful tongue. "Bertie," Jason whimpered softly, he'd been about to cum. His eyes were hazy with tears, his mouth ajar, his screams had sent spit flying down his chin, Bertie eyed him with unrestrained fervor. "Just a moment my love," Bertie's voice was a little tighter than usual and he fumbled a little as he speedily tried to open the lube, generously coating his fingers.

Jason arched off the bed when Bertie slid one of his slim fingers into his hole. "Good boy," Bertie cooed, watching Jason's stomach jump every time he hit the man's prostate. Jason panted, pulling on his restraints, too close to the edge to form words, whatever gurgled noise he made must have been a good enough hint because Bertie quickly added a second finger, jabbing Jason's prostate.

He came.

He knew he'd been close, but it still seemed to surprise them both, his untouched cock shooting cum which hit him square in the chin, only adding to the mess of saliva and tears. Bertie faltered then and even whilst Jason trembled post-orgasm, he could see the shock, hunger and voyeuristic pleasure on Bertie's face. His eyes were large, watching Jason's cock jerk, which only helped to make it jerk more, his tongue shifted over his lips almost subconsciously, his fingers never stopped moving in and out of Jason's hole. He looked both dazed and carnally aroused at the same time, Jason had to close his eyes save embarrassing himself by cumming again.

"Put it in," Jason whispered, eyes tightly closed, unable to bear anymore of Bertie's sweet face wearing that scarily dominant expression.

"Put what in?" the question was so arrogant and out of character, Jason's eyes flew open, taking in the little smirk Bertie was wearing.

"Fuck you," Jason said with equal parts affection and annoyance.

"I thought I was the one doing that?" Bertie fired him a wry smile. Okay, dirty talking Bertie is both sexy and infuriating. "You know what? Fu-Argh!" Jason's sentence became a long moan as Bertie added a third finger, pummeling away as Jason's prostate whilst savagely ripping open a condom with his teeth. Jason gulped, this was all far more intense than he'd originally planned, even Bertie looked at little frantic now, none to gently pulling his fingers out of Jason's hole only to replace them with his cock seconds later.

"Oh god," Jason groaned as he felt Bertie filling him, stretching and pressing all those sensitive places. They handed ended up in the missionary position, which should have scared Jason, but his lower half was still folded over, allowing Bertie to go deep, very deep, so deep that Jason's brain seemed to have lost all function. "Yes Jay," Bertie was a quiet as ever, panting gracefully as he thrust in and out, a little rougher and faster than their usual pace. Metal scraped loudly on wood when Bertie rediscovered that little button, Jason's arms spasming as they fruitlessly tried to reach for his cock. "So good, so good," Jason was babbling incoherently, his hips helplessly bumping up to meet Bertie's thrusts, his legs quivering in Bertie's grip. Leaning in, Bertie attacked Jason's neck again, rocketing him closer to a second orgasm. "Love you Jay," Bertie's voice was low, his eyes trained of Jason's as he slowly and deliberately licked the cum of off Jason's chin before giving him a deep kiss. Jason's mind was melting, he wasn't even into shit like that, but everything Bertie did sent his nerves into overdrive.

"I'm going to cum," Bertie's wonderful accent had lost none of its precision but his hips certainly did, losing their rhythm as he stabbed recklessly at Jason's hole in search of his orgasm. Almost as an afterthought, Bertie grabbed Jason's cock, roughly pumping in, too lost in on his own trajectory to be gentle. It was enough though, with Jason cumming an instant before Bertie, the spasming of his hole sending his lover over the edge. They came together, both riding out their ogasms, rocking their hips, seeking that last final touch of friction before they were both too sensitive to continue. Jason's mind was blank, stars exploding behind his eyelids, his body ricocheting between exhaustion and exhilaration. Bertie's little pants finally slowed down, signalling the end of another of his lengthy orgasms, he pulled out, leaving Jason sore, before slumping forward and trying to slow his breathing.

"Sunny," Jason jerked his still-bound hands, Bertie looked dazed for a second, but quickly caught on and scrambled up Jason's body to release the cuffs, his face apologetic.

"Sorry," Bertie stayed astride Jason, his thighs either side of Jason's hip bones, smooshing their torsos together, his weight barely noticeable.

"For what? I thought that was rather amazing," Jason rubbing his sore wrists before stroking Bertie's soft, fine hair.

"You did?" Bertie raised his head, his honey eyes huge with wonder.

"Well yeah, that's why I..." Jason said the rest of his sentence so quietly neither of them heard it.

"Why you?" Bertie tilted his head to one side.

"Why I didn't use the safe word," Jason's face was on fire as he ignoring Bertie's answering giggles.

"You're an interesting one hmm?" Bertie said sincerely, bringing his hand up to run his thumb over Jason's cheek.

"I'm the interesting one?" Jason chuckled, stretching to peck along the line of Bertie's scar, "as your counsellor I'd have to disagree."

"My counsellor hmm? If you're lucky, I meant let you read my new journal one day."

They laughed, tickling and playing until they ended up on their sides, noses touching, "love you Sunny," Jason sighed.

"I love you too Jay," they entwined their fingers under the comforter, "Jay?" Bertie whispered, his voice heavy with adoration,

"Hmm?" Jason gazed into those warm eyes.

"I can't wait to try out that butt plug."

"No one can ruin a moment like you Bertie."