The PTA Queen Bee & The Teen Rebel 02

The 300 pound form of Todd - the only member of the O'Dea family who was overweight - sat next to his twin sister, feeding his fat face with high sugar content, low nutrient cereal. The only time he stopped masticating with his mouth open was when he was arguing with Jenna, the twins at each other's throats as usual. While her eldest son and daughter always stressed her, this week their antics had been especially bad.

Jenna's suspension from her Catholic girls' boarding school for telling a nun to 'get fucked' had seen the troublesome teen back at home for the week, putting Mike in an even worse mood than usual. Carol could not wait until Monday, and Jenna was back on the train to New Jersey.

Todd was on thin ice at Pine Tree Park High School for bullying disabled kids in the special needs class, and had a weeks' worth of detention after school and yard duty at lunchtime the next week as punishment. He had also received a 'suspended suspension', the Principal warning Todd that his behavior warranted a week long suspension, but if Todd managed to behave himself for the next two weeks he would not be suspended. Any transgressions, however, would see Todd suspended from school for two weeks, with a further week of detention and yard duty when he returned. Todd seemingly did not learn anything from this, as one of his first actions on getting home after school that Thursday was to flush his younger brother Andy's head down the toilet in their parents' bathroom, the toilet seat getting broken in the process.

"You are a pig Todd, nothing but a pig. Shut up, just shut up," Jenna was saying.

"You shut up Jenna, you slut," Todd retorted.

"At least I'm a slut who can drive," Jenna retorted, going for Todd's sore spot and the obese bully's inability to obtain his driver's license, taking six attempts to pass the written test and failing his practical driving test over ten times. "Where's your driver's license, Todd?"

Todd fell silent, sulking and eating even more food to make himself feel better. Jenna smiled in smug satisfaction at winning this battle of wills with her twin brother, the inevitable outcome given her greater intelligence, not that she applied this to her studies.

The second brother - sister squabble at the table was between 16-year-old Chris and 12-year-old Polly. Chris, who was never wrong about anything, had been doing his trigonometry assignment at the breakfast table. It was a large assignment and Chris had had two weeks to complete it, but he had not made a start on it yet and it was due first thing Monday morning. This of course was not Chris's fault - nothing in life was Chris's fault - it was the fault of everyone but the pride-filled teenager.

While Carol hated to admit it to herself, she actually quite disliked her youngest daughter. Polly was nothing but a tale-telling, trouble-making, mean-spirited gossip motivated by envy and spite. At school Polly was the ring-leader of a group of girls and boys who were not in the popular groups, but not among the outcasts either. This nasty clique would start and spread malicious and false rumors about more popular kids and even adults, and lord their superiority over kids lower on the social scale.

Trouble-making Polly, the youngest yet the tallest of the three O'Dea sisters had looked over her older brother's shoulder at his homework, and seen that Chris had concluded that one of the triangles in the diagram was a 'right-angled, equilateral triangle'. Showing her usual lack of tact and subtlety, Polly had pointed out to her brother that there was no such thing as right-angle, equilateral triangles. And though Polly was quite correct, Chris had immediately become angry and debated the issue with his sister at length.

"There's no such thing as right, equilateral triangles, Chris you idiot, "Polly asserted.

"Yeah, there is, there's one right there," Chris insisted.

"I'm 12 and in seventh grade, you're 16 and a high school sophomore and I know more about trigonometry than you," Polly boasted. "Are you in the math class for spastics or retards or something?"

Carol might have tried to put a stop to the argument - tried being the operative word as her kids were all stronger willed than her - but she herself was engaged in a debate with 14-year-old Libby, who had only risen from bed the seventh time her father ordered her up.

Slothful Libby now stood in the kitchen wearing her nightdress and an expression that indicated getting out of bed caused her great personal sufferance. Libby's hair was a mess, and she stank of bad breath, body odor and cigarette smoke. Carol wished that this was the worst of her middle daughter's personal hygiene failings, but as the girl's mother she more than anybody else had to deal with things that she shouldn't have had to put up with.

"Libby, you need to go upstairs and take a shower, comb your hair, brush your teeth and get dressed," Carol insisted.

As was often the case, Libby sighed deeply, folded her arms and glared at her mother, her passive aggressive response and facial expression clearly delivering the response, "Make me."

Mike O'Dea came over, pointed at Libby and then in an upwards direction. "You, get upstairs now and take a shower. Now Libby!"

Libby rolled her eyes and did not speak, but flounced out of the room in sulky silence mouthing the word 'fuck' under her breath, not daring to get her father even angrier than he was.

Mike turned to Carol. "See Carol, that's how it's done. Why do I have to come home and take care of this fucking shit when I work my ass off all week? And where's my goddamn toast?"

"It's just coming Mike," Carol said meekly.

"So is Christmas," Mike complained.

At the table, Todd still ate in silence trying to think up some smart insult to say to Jenna but lacking the intelligence to come up with anything, while the debate between Chris and Polly was heating up.

"Shut up Chris, or I might just mention about how you and your friends went dirt bike riding out on the roads without helmets," said Polly.

"And I might just mention about how you and your friends added a certain alcoholic beverage from the USSR into the fruit punch at that girl's birthday party," Chris retorted.

Mike glowered at his son and daughter. "What's all this about riding dirt bikes on the roads and spiked fruit punch?"

Chris and Polly went bright red and looked sheepish. "Nothing," they said in unison.

"It had better be nothing," Mike warned them. "Now shut up both of you."

Mike looked at the kitchen bench where Carol had placed the two slices of white bread onto a plate and was about to butter it, and he immediately went red with anger. "Jesus Chris Carol, what are you doing?"

"I'm buttering your toast like always, Mike," his wife responded.

Mike got to his feet and stormed over to the bench. "Are you as stupid as you look Carol? I was sick last night, I can't eat butter on my toast I need to eat it dry. Give it to me, before you mess it up even more."

Mike snatched the plate of toast and took it back to the table. Todd laughed and said, "Yeah, Dad had diarrhea."

"Todd!" boomed Mike.

Todd again sniggered. "Dad would be a good friend for Jenna. Every time she's got her period, good luck trying to get in the bathroom because Jenna's in there sitting on the toilet having diarrhea for 15 or 20 minutes at a time."

Six years had gone by since Jenna's menarche, and Todd should have known by now that teasing his temperamental twin about her periods was not a good idea, and her typical response was to punch him. Todd, however, was not quick at learning things like this and Jenna's fist was applied to his temple with considerable force for a small girl.

"Fuck you Jenna you bitch, that hurt!" Todd yelled, rubbing his sore head.

"Good, it was fucking meant to," Jenna retorted, as Todd raised his own fist.

Mike slammed his open hand down into the table. "Enough! No wonder I get sick having to put up with both of you! Thank God you'll all be at the fete today, and I'll finally get some peace and quiet here."

Mike assumed that his stomach problems the previous night had been caused by some sort of virus. What he didn't know was the cause was entirely different, the special type of chocolate his long suffering wife had put into the triple chocolate brownies she had put into his lunch box on Friday. It was not a variety of chocolate one would buy in the confectionary aisle of the supermarket, but rather in the medicinal section. It had the desired effect, and had also motivated Mike to get his tool kit and fix the toilet seat in the ensuite bathroom Todd and Andy had broken when Todd felt the need to flush his younger brother's head in the toilet bowl.

"You aren't coming today then Mike?" Carol enquired.

"No, not after what that fucking idiot did last year," Mike said, pointing at Todd. "I'm embarrassed enough because he's so fat and is too stupid to learn how to drive, I don't need to be reminded I'm the father of an imbecile who crashed into the petting zoo and getting covered in shit after trying to punch some kid."

"I couldn't tell the difference between Todd covered in shit and normal Todd," sniggered Polly.

"Oh shut up Polly," Todd grumbled.

"So Todd and I are both going today?" Jenna asked, a smug expression on her face. "Even though we're both grounded? I don't know Dad that sounds like bad parenting to me."

"Enough, Jenna," warned her father. "You learn to keep that big mouth of yours shut if you're going to last any more than half a day in your summer job. Your mother told me about it last night. What I want to know, is it bullshit?"

Jenna fumed. "That's great, I go and get summer job and I get accused of lying? Ring Allison Johnson, and check for yourself if you don't believe me."

"I just find it very hard to believe that Allison Johnson came up to you and offered you a summer job," said Mike, doubt and cynicism very clear on his face.

"Yeah, she hates you," Todd laughed.

Jenna glared at her twin. "No Todd, she hates you."

"I hate you too you fat retard," said Mike to Todd. "Keep the fuck out of it, moron." He then turned back to Jenna. "Well, if Allison is dumb enough to take you on over the summer, at least try and last there longer than two days."

"Glad to see you have such confidence in me, Dad," Jenna retorted sarcastically.

"So, do you get to sell haunted houses like the one across the road?" Chris asked.

Polly was keen to show her superior knowledge of real estate law to her older brother. "Of course she doesn't Chris, you need your broker's license to do that. And I noticed Mrs. Johnson sold the haunted house this week. I wonder who bought it this time? Hopefully not another homo dresses up in his daughter's clothes like the last people."

"A young couple, I never saw the husband but I saw the wife last week. Really naïve, really annoying," said Jenna. "She won't last there long, believe me."

"Is she hot?" Todd wanted to know.

"Out of your league, but then every girl is out of your league Todd," Jenna sneered. "Even an ugly 400 pound girl with bad skin could do better than you."

"I'd like to lock you in the haunted house Jenna," said Todd.

"Yeah go ahead and try it, it would be an improvement to living here with a fat piece of shit like you Todd," Jenna retorted.

"That's enough out of the pair of you, can't you both shut up?" Mike demanded of his oldest son and daughter. "And that's enough about haunted houses. That house is not haunted, it never has been haunted and it never will be. There are no ghosts, and there are no haunted houses."

"How do you explain all the people who haven't even lived there a year?" Polly challenged her father.

"And what about the weird lights that come on in the house at night, and that ginger cat that appears in the windows and then vanishes?" Chris wanted to know.

"Try taking Sambo near the house and see what happens," Jenna said.

"Nothing but coincidence and overly active imaginations," said Mike firmly. "Now, get organized and go to the fete with your mother. With you no-hopers out of the way, I might actually get something done."

Within 15 minutes Mike O'Dea got his wish and his wife and kids were leaving the house and on their way to the fete. There was a slight delay as Carol, Todd, Andy and Justin waited for the O'Dea kids who smoked - Jenna, Chris, Libby and Polly - to finish their cigarettes. While 18-year-old Jenna smoked openly, the three younger teenagers all hid behind the house smoking their cigarettes, Chris always flat out denying that he smoked when it was obvious by the smell of cigarettes that lingered on his breath and clothes that he did. Carol and Mike really should have put a stop to their kids smoking at home but as they generally kept quiet when absorbing tar and nicotine into their lungs, let it slide.

Andy and Justin did not smoke, but it was only a matter of time before the two younger boys picked up the habit, given their verbal endorsement of smoking as 'cool' and that they had been caught smoking cigarettes with their cousins several times in the past.

Despite Todd's many vices smoking was not among them, but ironically if he had smoked it might have been healthier for him as time spent with a cigarette in his mouth would have afforded Todd less time to gorge himself on junk food. And as the O'Dea family climbed into the mini-van, Carol cringing as Andy carelessly flung open the door and nearly dented his father's car in the process, Todd unwrapped a large candy bar and began to devour it.

"Are you sure you have enough to eat there Todd?" Jenna asked sarcastically. "I just worry you don't eat enough food and will starve to death."

"Shut up Jenna and mind your own business you bitch," grumbled Todd, his mouth full of chocolate.

"Fine, if you want to look like the Hindenburg, that's up to you," smirked Jenna.

Carol's nerves were in overdrive as she waited for Todd to react and further reaction from Jenna with the other kids joining in the fight, but Todd remained silent and did not speak as Carol drove to Pine Tree Park School. Carol however continued to cast nervous glances at Jenna throughout the drive. She would normally have been very pleased at her tempestuous daughter securing a summer job, but Carol wished it was as an ice-cream parlor attendant, in a supermarket, gardening or practically anything but at the real estate brokers.

Jenna's boss would be the woman Carol feared most in life, the PTA President Allison Johnson. The very sight of the tall, domineering blonde had Carol's stomach doing somersaults of anxiety. This morning this was certainly the case, with the early arrival at the fete being a direction of Allison to Carol to arrive and help set up. And given Carol's authoritarian husband demanded that she be part of the PTA and Allison's youngest daughter had four more years of school, she was going to be part of Carol's life for some time to come. The summer holidays were a time Carol could mainly avoid Allison. But with Jenna working for her this summer Allison would be a part of Carol's life year-round, although Carol still struggled to understand why Allison would offer Jenna a job.

Todd like his mother was pondering a mystery about his sister and that was why Jenna would compare Todd to Hindenburg. Todd took history at school, or to be precise his fat body was in the classroom but his mind elsewhere during the lessons. This was evidenced by Todd's answers on a recent spot test, in which Todd asserted that Margaret Thatcher was the Queen of England, that Captain Cook was the current Prime Minister of Australia, that Joseph Stalin was the last Tsar of Russia and that President Abraham Lincoln had defeated the British forces commanded by Sir Winston Churchill in the War of Independence. The only question he got right was that the current President - Ronald Raygin - had once been an actor.

Thinking about the history classes, Todd remembered that Hindenburg was this German guy who had something to do with a war and with Hitler. The confused Todd recalled that Hindenburg was an old guy with a moustache and he looked nothing like Todd. What was Jenna talking about? Then Todd remembered - or thought he remembered - that there was an airship called the Hindenburg. It might have blown up, Todd wasn't sure. But this raised more questions than it provided answers. Why would Jenna compare Todd to an airship? Todd thought about this over and over until Carol pulled into the school parking lot and then he pieced everything together.

Airships were big and bloated. Therefore Jenna's comparison to Todd as an airship was a case of Jenna mocking Todd for being fat. Having finally reached the conclusion that Jenna's Hindenburg jibe was an insult to Todd, the obese teenager immediately became angry, his face going red with rage.

"Fuck you Jenna you bitch, how dare you call me fat!" yelled Todd as the family exited the minivan.

Jenna looked at her brother in bewilderment. "What the fuck are you talking about now, Todd?"

"You said I looked like the Hindenburg, you said I was fat."

Jenna laughed. "It took you that long to get that? You really are a dumbass, Todd."

Reaching into her purse Jenna took out her smokes and lighter to the great dismay of Carol. "Um Jenna, you're at school, you can't smoke here."

Jenna lit up her cigarette and looked at her mother with a furious, intimidating glare that scared the nervous Carol. "Hello Mom, I don't go to this school any more. I go to an all-girls Catholic school, and I'm over 18 years old. I'll smoke as many fucking cigarettes as I like when I'm here Mom, and there's not a goddamn thing you can do to stop me. Jesus Christ, can you stop giving me the shits?"

Carol fell silent, intimidated as always by her diminutive but tempestuous daughter. She looked at her other kids. Todd was already on the move towards where the food stalls were being set up, his fat stomach hanging over his shorts, the obese teenager belching loudly and scratching his balls. Chris had failed to close the door to the minivan, and Carole had to do it for him. Libby slumped against the side of the car, her sulky facial expression indicating that she did not want to be there. Polly preened herself using her reflection in the car's mirror on the driver's side, awaiting the arrival of friends who she could gossip with. Andy and Justin ran towards a patch of sand, throwing handfuls of it at each other, each boy shouting and swearing at the other at the top of his voice.

The despairing Carol cast a glance towards where the stalls were set up and saw the tall, hunky figure of the local handyman Kurt volunteering his time to set up, despite the fact that he didn't have kids. Carol immediately felt better as she observed the young man and thought about what she had done with him in the back of his van the previous afternoon. Carol felt her clitoris tingling at the memories of Kurt lifting her skirt and pulling her panties down, before his enormous cock was inserted up her vagina.

Then all at once Carol's sense of pleasure was shattered as another car drew up, and from the front passenger seat emerged the one figure that terrified her more than anything, a certain tall, good-looking blonde mother-of-four who stood surveying the set-up of the fete like the evil White Witch looking over the land of Narnia. With her husband by her side and four teenage kids in tow Allison, who even dressed as she was today in a sweater, jeans and running shoes looked a million dollars, set to control the events of today to her smallest specification.

Carol and Allison first became acquainted many years earlier when their eldest kids were in kindergarten, and the two young women were parent helpers on a class trip to the zoo in Central Park. The kindergarten teacher had an idea that Carol and Allison, as both were the mothers of boy-girl twins, would get along well together, and assigned them to the same group. However, this idea was as misguided as pairing two mothers from North and South Korea, or West and East Germany together and assuming they would be friends. Carol could only watch as Courtney and Brad behaved like the perfect children to a perfect mother, while her own kids were a nightmare. The young Jenna had shown her complete defiance of all authority, which unfortunately was merely a taste of what was to come as she grew older. Todd, whose weight problem at such a young age had already attracted an eye-roll from the snobby Allison, was cranky and bloated as the stupid boy had eaten the contents of an entire can of baby formula that morning. The formula was necessary as Polly, a colic-prone and difficult baby had suddenly decided that she didn't want to feed naturally. Tired from the troublesome baby Polly and two equally troublesome toddlers in Chris and Libby, Carol had few solutions to controlling the twins.