There Must Be A Mistake Ch. 31

"I'm sure it made your president laugh."

"The president may have laughed, but when it got handed down to the military you can be sure they didn't. Sometimes my good friend is evil, and he does it to me all the time. On something like this, he may tell you he has already found a way to defeat it, and he really has no idea how to do it. What he really is doing is making the military fund projects into basic science. They are spending money in areas they normally like to cut, but now they have no choice. If one person knows a way to break their secret weapon, they want to find out first how it's done so they can block it.

Science is Even's life. If you drew a line and put science on one side, and his family on the other, he wouldn't know what to do. He would stand on the line forever, because he loves both of them so much."

"Why does your friend need 10 kilos of v51 Vanadium? Only laboratories use that because of its half-life."

"Minister, if anyone knows the answer to that question besides Doctor Even Luck; it's not me or the two people that sit beside me. He will not tell anyone what it's for. However, when that idiot calls me, and he tells me that he needs a working model with four weeks, I have it ready for him in four weeks. You must remember he is leaving this planet in 6 weeks, and all that material is leaving with him. He wants a working model in four weeks, and six working models to go with him, and enough parts for 10 more to be assembled while they are in flight.

I have to build these *things*, in South Carolina, and I don't know how big they are. I have to fly them around the tip of Florida, South of Houston Texas, land them in Austin. Then I have to truck them to Temple. We are not here on a lark, ministers. We are here because that man is going to do something historic. .Sweden or the China is going to make Doctor Luck's invention possible. We will make sure the world knows which country made it a success."

"How much are you willing to pay for the Vanadium?"

"Fiona bring up the latest numbers."

"1000 grams is $9072 Dycke."

"So 1000 grams is $10,000. 20,000 grams equals 20 pounds. I don't want a discounted price. $10,000 a gram times 20,000 grams, using my math comes out to $20 million, for the Vanadium. Let's make that $30 million so everyone's happy.

"Fiona how much for the exit fees and documents?"

"It's .3275 percent boss."

"We'll rounded off to 4%, so that is another comes out to $1,200,000 right? We will round that up to another $2 million."

"Boss, when I go back to school I want to be your teacher. $1,200,000 does not equal $2 million. When we get home, I am going to hurt you so bad."

"Then we have the language barrier fee of $1 million each, which I think everyone would agree, should not wind up in a bank in Sweden, but in Switzerland, as 6 million Deutschmarks.

Also, because of my errors in math, it would mean that we would be wheels up, by noon, the day after tomorrow, with the vanadium package securely in four, dual lead lined, containers. It will be marked from the Swedish Academy of Science to Schneider Industries as "Scientific Instruments. Does everyone agree?"

"Yes, it is agreed."

"Is there any paperwork you need signed by us now, so we can get it out of the way, and get the ball rolling?"

Per Bolund said, "You can accompany me to the finance office. My people are out to lunch. We can get your paperwork completed and stamped without their knowledge."

"That's the way your office works too, isn't it Fiona?"

"I'm so happy you're feeling better. I'm going to take you to our gym and make you hurt all over again, just in different places."

"Your a mommy, you can't hurt people anymore."

"Do you want to ask my boys that question, and see what answer you get out of them?"

"They would lie for you. All boys would lie for their mother."

"I think I liked you better, while you were sick. No, I hated it when you were sick. I hate it when you feel sorry for yourself, and stopped doing things like a man is supposed to do. We will pick this discussion up, after the paperwork is done."

The finance office was huge, and had pictures all over the walls. Dycke winked at Fiona, and she nodded in reply.

Dycke said, "Minister would you give me a tour of the office and tell me about these wonderful pictures you have on the walls. They look like beautiful paintings. I've never seen anything like them in my life."

Per Bolund said with pride, "These are all pictures of Sweden's villages, towns, cities, and national parks. It would be my honor to explain each of them to you."

Dycke replied, "They look so wonderful, it's like they were made for a motion picture."

Bolund smiled again, and began Dycke's tour of each picture.

Fiona whispered, "Sistina, walk around the office looking at the pictures. Get me anything that looks like an official document, or stamp. Don't duplicate anything"

"I can't do that, I'm Irish."

"You will eat potatoes for the rest of your life."

"You are mean Fiona."

In less than five minutes, Fiona and Sistine had multiples of every document, and document stamp in the office in their bags. No desk in the office was left unrifled, not even the ministers.

When Per and Dycke returned 10 minutes later Sistine asked, "I know in Norway these waterways are call fjord's. What do you call them?"

The minister laughed. "We call them fjords. They are called fjords all around the world. New Zealand, Alaska, Norway, anywhere you have a waterway inlet with steep mountain walls on each side, they call it a fjord."

"Thank you minister, every day you live, you learn something new."

Fiona said, "I thought your father was a Navy captain."

"Be quiet Fiona, can't I have a little fun, while we are here?"

"Remind me to put a snake in your drawer, when we get home."

"Oh goody, I love snakes. I'll put tiny dead rats under your desk, and turn my snake loose. We will see which one of us has more fun."

Dycke called out, "Fiona come over here and countersign these documents for me please."

Dycke signed each page, and so did Fiona. Fiona had the extra chore, of making out the checks.

Dycke kept harassing her. "That's too many zeros."

Fiona stopped, counted the zeros, looked at him, and growled. When she got to the very last checks for the ministers, and saw him open his mouth, she jabbed her fountain pen into his thigh.

Dycke started jumping up and down, and screaming in the ministers office.

Fiona calmly closed the cap, to her now destroyed pen, took out a new one, and continued writing.

Dycke was still whining, when the minister asked, "How long have you worked together?"

"He was 18, and I was 28. I was 18 months out of MI 6 and a short stint as a close protection agent, when I was transferred to watch over him. He was too good a person then, and he is still too good now. I've never seen a person with so much money not get spoiled. He can't give his money away fast enough."

"He could fire you for doing that."

"I threatened to quit on the way here, he wouldn't let me."

"He's a tough boss."

"He's the best boss you could ever work for. Let me go pat him on the head, and kick him in the ass so we can get moving. Thank you minister, it's been a pleasure"

"Likewise Mrs. Short."

Sistina opened the office door, while Fiona walked Dycke through it. As soon as they were in a deserted hallway, she kicked him in the ass.

"Stop whining before I tie you into a seat in the aircraft all the way back to Charleston."

"I could have blood poisoning because of you."

"Let's go to the hospital, and I will have them remove your leg."

"Fiona, you're fired."

"Sistine did you hear what he said?"

"I sure did. I'll testify to it in court."

"For clarity would you say that one more time Dycke?"

"I said you're fired."

"Thank you Dycke, I have wanted to do this to you for months. Remember, you've earned it for being such an asshole."

Dycke never saw it coming. The heel of her left foot connected with his jaw, and before the nerves could register the pain signals to his brain, the left side of her hand hit the brachial complex, between his shoulder and spine. He was unconscious as his body moved fluidly towards the floor.

Sistina grabbed him before he was halfway down.

"Will you help me with this bozo, he weighs a ton."

"He only weighs 175 pounds, so stop exaggerating."

"What are we going to do with him?"

We are going to bring him to the aircraft first class naturally."

The two women dragged him out of the building, towards the waiting limousine.

Tom grabbed Dycke, and asked, "What happened to him?"

"He got out of line, and I had to straighten him out. Let's put him in the trunk, and get us to our aircraft, as quickly as possible. He needs more of the medication I just gave him."

They dumped Dycke's body into the huge trunk, with a gentle thump.

Sistine said, "Fiona, we don't want to kill him, we are here to help him."

"Killing him may be the only way to help him."

When they were settled in the limo, Fiona took out her cell phone and called Bob.

"How much trouble did he get us in?"

"He did a great job, Bob. We will have our Vanadium the day after tomorrow. However, our boss is sleeping in the trunk, because he was making an ass of himself. Then he made me the happiest person on the planet."

"He fired you."

"Yes dear, I am unemployed, and my former boss is unconscious."

"Did anyone see you hit him?"

"Sistine saw me hit him, but no one else."

"In other words, no one so you hit him."

"You are correct."

"Why are you calling me?"

"I need something to tie up both his hands, and feet. I don't want anything that's going to cut into his skin."

"I have just the thing, if we were at home."

"You dirty old man. Do you think you can find any in Sweden?"

"Do they have Google here?"

"Work quickly Bob, he's not going to be asleep permanently, at least I hope not."

"How hard did you hit him?"

"I hit him with everything I had."

"Was he breathing when you put him in the trunk?"

"I think so."

"I'll buy a body bag just in case."

"Forget the body bag for now. Get me the cuffs, they are more important."

**********************

When Dycke woke up and realized where he was, he screamed.

"Fiona, I fired you."

Bob Short walked up the right side of the chamber and said, "She knows that boss. She's at the airport hotel waiting for her flight to Washington. Then, she will fly home to Charleston. If you want to fire me, I'll join her. At this moment, more than half of the staff is ready to quit, because of the way you're acting."

"What's the matter with the way I am acting?"

"For the first time since I've known you, you are acting like a spoiled brat. No one who came along for this ride can remember you acting this way."

"Why can I move my feet?"

"You can move your feet, however, you must move them together. Like your hands, they have leather cuffs attached to them, with pink bows and ribbons to match your attitude. We thought it would make you feel closer to your real nature.

A little girl knocked you out, and you have no idea what she hit you with. Fiona said it was the most fun she had in years, but especially due of the way you've been acting these past few weeks.

You are going to be fed high-energy drinks, and you are going to talk with Doctor Russell for the next 4 to 6 hours, or until he cannot stand your crying any longer. This will continue until we leave for home.

I've spoken with Doctor Luck. I advised him not to expect his project to be finished on time. I don't have to tell you how he reacted to that news, because you already know. You should be happy you are here, more than 5000 miles away from him. If you were much closer, he would come after you, and ring your neck. Depending on how busy he is at this moment, I wouldn't be too comfortable. 5000 miles is only 10 hours away by jet, and the good doctor can afford a fast one."

"Thank you for brightening my afternoon Bob. How many security people did we bring with us?"

"We brought six agents including me. If Doctor Luck shows up, we are going to take a smoking break. You know smoking is not permitted on the tarmac. So we will be far, far away, from this aircraft."

"I thought you said I was the pussy."

"There is a time to fight, and a time to retreat. That's what the six of us are going to be doing. If and when Doctor Luck gets here, he's going to be like a tank going against jeeps. I don't want to be one of those jeeps."

"I wouldn't want to be one of those jeeps either Bob. Give me something to drink, and show Doctor Russell in. If he can flesh out why I'm flying off the handle all the time, maybe I can get back to work."

"We know what your problem is. You are never going to be whole again, until you find a way to fix that problem."

"Why am I paying the eminent Doctor Russell $10,000 a day, when you have the answers to my problems Bob?"

"He has the diplomas and I don't."

"Call Fiona, and have her call the Russian Bureau to see if that cell is still available for you. I'll even throw in a pillow and a blanket."

"What would I use the rats for then Dycke?"

"Get me my drink please, and tell your wife to look at her contract. The only way she can be fired is in writing, and I never wrote anything down."

"Boss, she is going to kill you."

"She threw a mean left foot at me today. However, it wasn't until her right-hand hit my neck that I went unconscious."

"If you tell her that, she will find a new way to kill you. She was sure you were out cold when she hit your jaw."

"No, she missed. She hit me a little too far forward, so it was only painful, not disabling."

"Pull the straw down; your energy drink is attached to the system."

"Oh God is this stuff putrid."

"When you start acting like a normal human being, you can eat normal human being food. Until then, you drink this shit."

"An unhealthy mind and an unhealthy body."

"You should read the list of vitamins, minerals, and other good things your body needs that are in this stuff."

"I'd still rather a Chicken Caesar salad, a large baked potato with a load of butter, and a wedge of pecan pie."

"You forgot to order your drink with it."

"You're right; I'd like a large glass of cold milk."

"You just ruined the entire meal for me. Let me get Doctor Russell, and I will empty the plane so your conversation is private. Tom will have the back door; I will have the front door."

"Thank you Bob, and don't forget to call Fiona. I want her back here when I finish speaking to the good Doctor."

"If the aircraft goes on fire, you'll know who did it."

"She won't be that angry with me, will she?"

"Are you a betting man? What a stupid question that is. You bet Payne she was pregnant less than two weeks after your wedding, and you won. When Fiona sees you, smoke will be coming out both of her ears."

"In that case, I'm happy I'll be in here."

"I don't know how you do it Dycke, but for as long as I've known you I've never seen you lose a bet."

"If all goes the way Even and I have it worked out, you will see me lose one on Christmas Day."

"What are you two working on now?"

"I'm not saying a thing to anyone, because I will jinx the entire operation. Just pray for the both of us that it works, because if it doesn't my family will disintegrate."

"I will pray for all of you every day. It is more than just a promise that comes from my heart."

"Thank you Bob, call Fiona, I want to hear her scream."

****************************

Doctor Russell sat down next to the hyperbaric chamber and asked Dycke what his friends thought his problems were that they were willing to give up their careers to help him?

Suddenly, in the front of the aircraft, someone dropped something, and yelled, "God dammit."

Dycke laughed. "Doctor that was Bob Short on the receiving end of his wife's expletive, when she found out she wasn't a free woman. She has been trying to get the upper hand on me for nearly 25 years, and she thinks I keep putting things in her contract that slip by her. Earlier today, before she knocked me out, I told her she was fired, not once, but twice, in front of a very good witness. She was so happy she gave me a leg kick to the jaw and a chop to the brachial plexus on my right side. She went to the hotel and waited for the aircraft to take her home. Bob just told her she wasn't going anywhere."

"Who is this woman, and what does she do for you?"

"First, I don't like the inference you just made. Fiona and I have always been best friends, and that's as far as it has ever gone. She has taught me more about myself, life, and safety than any other person in the world. She is in charge of the entire Western Hemisphere operations of Schneider industries. She knows more about what's going on in my businesses than I do. She leaves me enough time to play with my new inventions, or inventions that come from other people like Doctor Even Luck.

That bastard is my best friend, but he always gives me the shortest timelines to finish what he needs. That's why we're in Sweden. We have a six-week timeline to develop something earth shattering. Even Luck is the only person in the world who knows what it is. The only thing he has told us is we need 20 kilos of Vanadium, and we needed it within 10 days. We obtained it, and we will be wheels up, and on our way home to find out what we have to build sometime tomorrow. I can't wait to find out what it is, and what it's supposed to do."

"You love this, don't you Mister Schneider? You love being on the edge of something new, however you have no idea how to deal with your marital problems. Isn't that correct?"

"Doctor, I don't know if anyone told you about how Payne and I got together in the beginning. Her mother caused us the same type problem. I had inherited a tremendous amount of money. I had just turned 18 years old, and I wanted to show Payne the world, before my new businesses and my obligations tied me to a desk. I showed her mother how she could use a personal satellite device to see and talk to her daughter every day. It would be better than having Payne away at Duke University, where she wouldn't be able talk to her but once a week or so, and not see her but maybe once or twice a semester. Her mother said no. I turned around and left.

If I said what I wanted to say to her, there would have been no chance for reconciliation. Her mother was acting like a child. She was holding onto Payne like a toy and would not let her go.

That's what Payne is doing now, and she can't see the similarity.

There is a two-year-old girl who is clairvoyant. She has predicted things that have come true for our families five times so far. The sixth one scares me to death. Teddy has predicted that if Zoie stays home, she will die very soon in an accident. Payne will take it so hard she will be in a mental institution for years afterwards. She will never return to the woman she is now. It will become so bad I will leave her. I don't know if you realize how much I love and adore my wife. If I have to leave Payne, it would be like cutting my heart out."

Doctor Russell said, "Didn't you leave something out?"

"I'm going to kill you; you no good rotten bastard."

"Doctor Russell, I would like you to meet the mouth that roared, Fiona Short."

"We've already met Dycke. Her husband is the one that offered me $10,000 a day. I didn't make that much playing basketball."

"It's a shame Doctor Russell, these kids coming out of school after one year don't have one 10th the talent that you had."

"That's in my past Mister Schneider; let's talk about your future."

"Doctor, if you let me take him out of there, he won't have a future."

"I'm very comfortable Doctor Russell, how about you?"