Truth Cries from the Semen

"I want it to happen Victoria, but I feel so scared of myself. I don't know if I can truly let go when the time comes. I can't stop thinking and analyzing and just exist!" I replied.

"Youknowin your blood and guts you need to let go, yet your try to mastermind your way out of it, dear. Trust my word: we will break you and your heart will be released." Victoria gravely stated.

I responded: "I feel so excited sometimes but than so melancholic moments later. I live in a hell of unsatisfied desires. I gnaw on my marrow in this perpetual state of half-belief, half-despair. One moment I make a resolution to once-and-for-all follow through with my plan; then, a moment later, I repent. My whole life has been like this: my mind sees everything with clarity, in perfect relationship, the whole to the parts. Yet my body pulls me in an entirely opposite, contradictory direction. I then know at some level I have deceived myself and I loath myself for it."

"You need to set aside the books and the computer and come up out of the underground. You find it so hard to relate to real flesh-and-blood- that of others, that of yourself.You are human, not a machine," Victoria stated.

"I don't know if I can!" I sighed back. "Sometimes, and I know this is horrible to say, I enjoy this self-mortification, this sick inner-torture, this disease of too much consciousness!"

"Dear, you've got to surrender to humanity, toyourhumanity, to your body, to your desires. You cannot think your way through it. Stop! Please, Stop! Or, someday, you'll end up in an insane asylum or slashing your wrists!" Victoria stated, almost protesting.

"I'm too weak!" I retorted; sad emotions began welling up in me.

"No, you are far stronger than you realize, but Veronica you must decide whether you want to live your life like a dead book on a shelf or if you want to really be alive. All the practical information for your event is on the website. I love you so much!" Victoria implored me, almost crying. She hung up.

I hung up the phone and masturbated, crying the whole time; my orgasms devoured my own rationality. I made the plane reservations that night.

As I approached the club near the appointed time my legs felt like jelly. I stopped about half a street block from the entrance door and sat on a stoop, dejected. I'd prepared my body as instructed, but for the umpteenth time, doubts whirled. This was my last opportunity to change my mind. I could turn around and walk away, forgetting everything. Once I crossed inside, whatever fate awaited me would probably be unavoidable.Did I really want to do this? As I sat I watched the door for several minutes as several club members buzzed the entrance and were quickly ushered in: A male-female couple in their 40s; eight men in their 20s; a man in his 50s; ten men and a woman in their 30s; others followed. Different ages, races, sizes. They were all extremely well-dressed and average or greater in attractiveness. A single woman in her 30s passed me with a smile. She continued to look at me as she pressed the button; the door opened but then she motioned as if excusing herself and then walked back toward me. I tried to act like I hadn't noticed her but it was too late. I stared down at the sidewalk in my funk.

She stopped in front of me and squat down. "Welcome," she said. "Veronica?" I icily nodded without looking up at her. The woman put her hands on my right knee. "Dear, we've all been where you are. You have to decide for yourself whether you can go through that door... or not. But you need to honestly ask yourself if you can go back to whatever so-called life you've known and try to forget everything that's brought you to this very spot in space and to this moment in time. Life is one long insane trip. You must decide between fear and love." She then withdrew her hands and walked away.

The Sun had just set as I looked up and around. The Moon and Venus shined brightly in the twilight. What would the dawn bring, I thought to myself. Who would I be tomorrow? The day after? There was no way to understand myself anymore; it was futile and pointless to think; words meant nothing in this abject private grief that tore at my heart. A tear rolled down my left cheek. I stood up and composed myself. I walked to the buzzer and pressed it.

Henke answered: "Lady Veronica! Follow me at once!" Henke quickly escorted me by the hand through the foyer and into a room off a dimly lit corridor. As I walked down the corridor I could hear the din of people talking and some light music in the background, but it was too fast for me to notice anyone. "You will be attended to momentarily." Henke stated and quickly exited, slamming shut the door.

Seconds later, the door of the room opened and Victoria walked in, with one woman on her left and another on her right. They were all naked except for black collars around their necks and blue wristbands on their right wrists. Victoria closed the door. The three women stood in front of the door as I rose and faced them. An awkward distance and silence was kept as the three women stared at me for about 20 seconds. Victoria's face became very sad and her eyes glazed over; she then joyfully smiled. She sniffled and cleared her throat and spoke: "Look at her. I am so envious of what's she's going to experience tonight. Her first time." Victoria said. The two other women smiled in approval. "This is Lydia and this is Gabi" kissing the cheek of one woman and than the other. They were both in their 30s and about 5'5"; Lydia was black and Gabi Hispanic.

All the women approached me. Victoria kissed me on the lips as Lydia and Gabi began undressing me. I passively moved to assist them as I returned Victoria kiss with equal passion. I sat down again as the last of my clothes were removed, Lydia spoke: "The blue wristband is very important. It's your sign to the club that tonight you are participating in the cum fetish event all night as a submissive. There will be about 14 of us total and it means that we are open to debauchery by groups of men and women."

Gabi continued for Lydia: "After you and Jill are initiated through your event there will be small intersession and then the 12 of us will join you and Jill. There are over 400 men in the ball room and over 100 women. In events like this many women will mingle while others will be down in the dungeons; the men will mingle on both floors and participate within the set rules for a given area."

"I don't completely understand." I stated. Gabi smiled and ran her index finger across the back of my shoulders: "It's okay, you will. You will understand."

"Do you want to put the wristband on? It's your final act of free choice. By placing the wristband on, you submit to the will of the club tonight." Lydia explained.

Gabi extended her left hand with a free blue wristband and set it on the table in front of me. "Where is my partner, Jill; when will I meet her?" I asked.

"She's in another room and you will be with her soon, if you decide to put on the wristband." Victoria stated. I picked up the band and looked at it. I then wrapped it around my right wrist, snapping it tight. Victoria grinned and stood up and quickly walked to the door, seeming to motion to someone in the hallway.

"Veronica, stand up!" Gabi ordered in a strong tone. As I stood up Lydia moved behind me. She placed a blindfold over my eyes and wrapped it tightly. The two women slowly walked me out the door and then down the hallway, each one holding a hand.

As I entered the ballroom I could feel the atmosphere change. The surface of the floor changed to soft mats. The air became hot and moist; I heard almost nothing but breathing and minor shuffling noises as if people were moving out of our way. My spine tingled. We must have stopped around the middle of the room. I felt an umph as a powerful set of hands lifted me up by the armpits on a surface. My arms were raised above my head and my hands cuffed in a soft pair of braces that then snapped and locked. My feet gently rested on this raised surface. I just rested there as bolts of energy scowered up my legs and chest. I had no idea what was about to happen; each second felt like an eternity.

I heard more shuffling and then another set of clicking noises- handcuffs- clacked. "What's happening?" I girly voice squeaked.

"Silence!" a women's voice I didn't recognize hushed.

I heard more shuffling noises and the occasional cough in the distance.

A man's voice bellowed: "What is your name, miss?"

"Veronica." I answered. Simultaneously I heard: "Jill," Jill answered. Jill was to my left, presumably blindfolded and chained. I heard various small giggles and laughs that quickly trailed off.

"Veronica...and... Jill." the man, spoke loudly in a villainous baritone.

"Veronica, why are you here?" the man asked.

I felt my chest tighten as I thought how to respond to what were hundreds of men and women before me. "To experience my heart's greatest desire." I answered. "Very lovely and melodramatic, Veronica!" the man answered, as if he were judging and pacing the room.

"Jill, why are you here?" the man asked.

"To have fun! To go crazy!" Jill quipped. "How about crazy fun?" the man laughed backed. "Absolutely!" Jill retorted with fiestiness. More giggles echoed around the room.

"Veronica. Veronica, why are you lying to us? To yourself? Heart's desire? Ha. Why don't you tell us why you're really here? Bare your soul and stop hiding! You are naked and bound! The eyes of the world are upon you! Open yourself! Tell us what you really want- you know what's going to happen, don't you? There's no point in holding back! Speak the truth! Say it loud!" the man interrogated for all to hear.

My heart felt like it turned upside down and I suddenly felt physically weak, as if my life-force deflated out of a gaping wound. I knew he was right. My flowery language, my brain, was using its power to block the world out, not to see it for what it is. I was hiding from them, from humanity, from myself. The man had dug into my flapping nakedness and pushed me beyond transparency; my spirit felt blacker than black. I wanted to die right there, but I was too weak.

Suddenly, the surface under me gave way and I was hanging in the air supported by just my cuffed hands; I could hear sets of chains rustling above me and to my left as I slightly swayed from side to side as my body stretched out like a piece of meat on a hook. My heart dropped a few beats as fear arced through me, springing me back to life.

"I want you all to degrade me!" I shock-screamed.

"See? Isn't the truth better, Veronica?" the man patronized.

"Yes." I whimpered back.

"Veronica and Jill. Before you stand hundreds of men and women. They are your masters and mistresses," the man paused and then continued, "there are only two words you need to know. From these words flow everything you truly seek. Love flows from these words. Let yourself be loved!"

The man paused and then slowly spoke: "Veronica and Jill you are here to submit and obey."

The crowd broke out in a continuous chant: "Submit and Obey! Submit and Obey!" The cacophony pierced and then drilled into me. I felt scared, even terrified; a fresh horror ran through my frame. This was not what I expected. I tried to fight these voices that violently cut into me, into my personhood- to hold onto myself, to hold onto my sanity, to hold onto a tiny morsel of dignity.

Yet as the club's loud incantation droned on for what must have been more than a minute, I began to feel enthralled. Every time I fought to maintain my awareness, my center of self, I failed and then a glorious sense of capitulation came over me. My skin began to throb and my breathing grew labored. I could no longer think straight as the voice of the group, of the tribe, speared into my mind. The chanting that at first terrified me became a rhapsody that sent me into a trance. The tribe's riotous power engrossed me; I felt like I was in a twilight zone at that moment where "I" no longer existed, just a nebulous "we."

Then, all at once, the chanting ceased. All I could hear was the rustling of chains. I became aware that I was violently trembling; my breath irregularly puffed and wafted out. My bones rattled in my empty shell of skin. I felt numb- not excited, not scared, just numb.

Rustling and shuffling noises came forth; air rushed around me in the void. Fingers, hands and lips started touching me and kissing me- everywhere. My pinky toes, my inner thighs, in my mouth, the skin behind my ears, the back of my neck, the tip of my nose- often all of these simultaneously. Twenty, thirty, forty hands laid on me at any one time to only be withdrawn and replaced in new spots by another equally sized set. Literally every "part" of my body, except my crotch, was touched as these tidal waves of touching came forth and then withdrew only to come again. Blood rushed into my organs, my breasts and my clitoris; my veins pulsed; hotness oozed over my entire epidermis as I continued to shiver. My ears began to ring and I felt like I was falling in mid-air; it was as if I were sky-diving; then I was nowhere, I was floating. Those touching and kissing me started whispering randomly: "We love you Veronica." "You are not alone." "You belong to us." An overwhelming sense of love and belonging rend my heart as the touch-waves and whispers shocked through me; I felt so impossibly sad and yet so impossibly happy. I began to weep. I threw my head back as wetness soaked the inside of the blinds and then trailed out across my cheeks. I passed out.

As I came to, I could feel wetness dripping from my pussy; saliva drooled down my chin. My body was layered with stagnate finger and hand touches; they just rested there.

"Veronica?" I heard a female voice.

"Yes.." I eeked out, my breathing still labored.

"Can you feel it?" the woman asked.

"What? Yes.." I responded in confused delirium. My legs were pulled forward and apart and then a tongue licked my crotch.

"Tell us you love us," the woman said; I could tell that she was below me.

I felt beside myself with horniness. "I love you.. I want to submit and obey!" I readily shouted. I believed every word I said with every fiber of my being.

All the fingers and hands covering my body began gyrating my skin, sending me into another tizzy. The woman's tongue dove into my box and she ate me out; my entire skin layer convulsed as the group now tugged and twirled it in scores of tiny spots. The blindfold was untied and fell off. The naked world revealed itself: dozens of men and women surrounded me in a quagmire of body positions; a monstrous fleshy mass, with hands reaching around at impossible angles. I screamed in orgasm; deep contractions seizured up through my cunt and into my chest. As the tidal wave of rubbing and pussy-eating continued, bliss overtook me. I heard Jill, only a few feet from me, cry out an incomprehensible mixture of curses and exhortations. My feet brushed against the floor into a small pool of my own juices. I again passed out.

In some half-aware, half-dream state I felt myself unhinged from the shackles and my body laid out across the floor of mattresses. A warm body was then laid on top of mine. As my energy returned I opened my eyes and saw "Jill", dazed as well, looking down at me. She kissed my lips and I reached up and brushed her hair back with my right hand.

"Veronica?" Jill said.

"Jill?" I responded. I kissed her on the lips and ran my hands across the length of her back.

"Veronica and Jill stand up." the man with the professor's voice ordered.

Jill and I stood up and looked around. We were in the middle of the ballroom. Mats covered the whole floor. The club group members formed a box around us, but at some distance; a good thirty feet separated us from them. As I looked around, I came to realize that there were an enormous number of people around, all of them naked, saving minor affectations. About four men for every one woman. All these eyes gawked and gazed at Jill and I. I felt a shock of fear for a split second and I grabbed Jill's arm for comfort; she returned the sense to me. I looked at the endless number of men- their penises, many erect. All different races and ages; but everyone was trim and generally attractive. As I stared at different individuals they ardently smiled.

Lydia and Gabi walked toward us. Lydia took me by the arm while Gabi handled Jill. They walked us forward into the crowd, which parted at the edge of the mats revealing a windowless booth with a door. The door had several large locks which were slowly released by Lydia. As I stood there and waited I looked at the crowd; several men stood very close to me. I stared down at their cocks; one man had an enormous penis, probably 11" in length and 7" in diameter. I just couldn't believe how large it was.

The booth door opened, unveiling a tiny dimly-lit space. Jill was positioned by Lydia and Gabi and entered sidewise into the booth. Then they grabbed me and quickly pushed me sideways into the booth. I hobbled in, barely squeezing inside. My body rubbed against that of Jill, and this was the first time I actually got a good look at her. Jill is about 5'4" tall, buxom, with large breasts. She is in her mid 20s, white, with long blonde hair.

Lydia began to close the door when Jill piped up with a small sense of alarm: "What now?"

Lydia stopped and reached in with her right hand and grabbed Jill's chin and placed her them in her mouth; with a stern look flatly she stated: "Obey, cumslave." And then slammed the door. Each lock on the door thwacked shut.

Jill's breasts pushed up under mine. It was impossible for us not to touch each other; we could feel each other's breathing. "There are so many of them Veronica! They're going to sacrifice us! We're really going to be drown!" Jill stated in a mixture of concern and excitement. The reality of what Jill said struck me:this is real, it's going to happen. There was no escape and no turning back; it was just a matter of time now.

I felt avidly keen on what was now fated to happen, and yet somehow still fretful. "Jill, all we have is each other. We have to be strong together, to stay together, to help each other," I explained. What had I gotten myself into? "Sacrifice" was probably the right word Jill had chosen. I sighed as my thoughts meandered for a moment. I imagined myself and Jill in a sex and blood ritual in an ancient temple. Certainly what was happening was a modern version of this practice. Instead of blood, semen allured. In the place of blood, the tribe would consecrate us in their manly ejaculations. What was it our ancient ancestors got from their rituals? What would Jill and I and the club experience from the body-fluid soaked ritual to come? For a moment I suddenly felt many doubts and self-disgust.

"The club will use us for its pleasure and then we'll be submerged in their seminal fluids. Whatever doubts we have are useless. Running away is not possible," I stated. I could feel a flash and tremble shoot through Jill. "We aredoomed," I ended.

"I'll be there for you; I'll take your fluids if it's too much." Jill said.

"I want your fluids; whatever you give, I'll receive." I replied. I managed to move my hands up in the booth and I placed them on her shoulders. Then I kissed Jill; she returned my kisses. "I promise, no matter what happens, I'll be there at the very end." I told Jill. This woman, Jill, was a stranger to me but I felt consoled that we were together.

The door locks began to strike apart. "This might be it, Jill." I said

"Maybe! Stay close!" Jill exclaimed. The door of the booth opened and a woman I hadn't seen before stood at the entrance.

"Close your eyes, sluts of Babylon." she ordered.