Yearning Hearts Ch. 05

They've been through a lot but he hoped like hell that all that somehow meant they could be stronger together. He hoped Jonathan hadn't given up on him yet.

After a few minutes of reminiscing he willed himself to give Jonathan a call even if he knew there was a high chance of him not picking up. After the fifth rejected call he felt himself getting emotional. Why wasn't he answering?

He was getting beyond worried. Why the hell hadn't he tried calling earlier? What if something happened to him?

Feeling completely panicked he sat up and leaned back against the headboard as he called Patrick. "Hey Patty, have you heard from Ethan?" He asked trying not to sound too worried; he didn't want to freak anyone out.

"Sup Tommy, uh yeah I have. He ran me a text last night saying he was heading out of town and I spoke to him once this morning but he wasn't really in the mood to talk. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah yeah I just wanted to talk to him, that's all." He assured Patrick calmly. Ok so at least he knew he was alive but where the hell did he go? "Did he say where he went?"

"No actually, the fucker's being all secretive," Patrick chuckled. "Uh Tommy? I know you said you didn't want to hear about it earlier but big bro loves you man. I hope you two work things out."

Thomas was silent for a while before he answered.

"I know he does Patty, I love him too and I hope we get the chance to." He didn't give Patrick a chance to reply. "Listen um... I gotta go Patty but thanks, I'll catch you later."

"Alright no prob, love you man."

"Love you too bud, bye." As he hung up he held the tip of his phone between his canines thinking of where Jonathan could be. He could be anywhere.

There was one person he knew he could bet on that would know. Jonathan's mom, they spoke to each other every day. Though he knew that Juliette was aware that he and Jonathan had gotten together he had to admit, he felt a bit skittish to call her especially after he crashed Jonathan's meeting with his dad being there.

******

"Juliette Donavon here," came the warm nurturing voice on the other end. He made to hang up the phone but he knew if he wanted to find Jonathan that was the only way.

"Hi Mrs. Donavon, its Thomas sorry for calling this late but I really need a favor," he answered calmly even though on the inside he was panicking tremendously.

"Tommy dear, why so formal, how are you darling?" Juliette sounded as warm and vibrant as ever. He didn't want to disappoint her. "Honey are you there?" Juliette asked concernedly when she didn't hear a response.

"Y-yes sorry I'm here," he stuttered trying to pull himself together. What was he going to say anyway; did she even know what Jonathan did, well of course she did, his dad knew so why wouldn't his mom.

"Tommy talk to me, what's wrong?" she asked sounding a bit alarmed this time. Dammnit what was wrong with him, he couldn't even get a sentence straight and to top it off he was making her worry.

"Do you...know where Ethan is?" He murmured hesitantly. It was official, he was freaking out. She was quiet for too long. 'That can't be good,' he thought to himself. Just as he was about to ask if she was still there she answered.

"Finally a silver lining," she breathed then chuckled softly. "Seem like my prayers have been answered."

"I'm sorry what?" he willed his voice to stop cracking but he couldn't help it. He expected to hear disappointment or even rejection but she was being her usual sweet self. "You're not mad?"

"Mad? What for sweetheart. Business isn't the most important thing and Jonathan would tell you the same thing. And believe me, Richard understands. I never told you about that time I destroyed all his golf clubs did I? He was beyond livid and that was just for forgetting our anniversary."

He listened as she giggled but for the life of him he couldn't even smile. Richard forgetting their anniversary versus cheating on his wife to what he did to Jonathan was a whole other story. He always knew that Juliette didn't care very much for Marian but damn. Obviously she didn't know why Jonathan left but he wasn't going to tell her. No fucking way.

"I'm really happy and grateful that you're ready to give your relationship with Jonathan a chance honey. If that's what you truly want. Is it?"

"More than anything, I lost sight of that for a while and I pushed him away because I was hurting, but I'm ready to forgive and move on. With him I know I can get through anything...he's my everything." He sighed than whispered, willing himself not to cry.

She had no idea what he did.

"And I hope you know you're that that and so much more to him. I know I don't have to tell you about the kind of man Jonathan is, Tommy." She sighs then chuckled softly as if in deep thought.

"I can't believe it's been ten years already since you've been in our lives. He doesn't connect with people often; he's so much like his hardheaded father. Ahhh my two over analytical stubborn men. Thank heavens for my Patty."

Thomas found himself unable to fall into that infectious giggle this time. Juliette had one of those laughs that you couldn't help but laugh along with her. "When he brought you home for the first time, I could already tell he had it bad for you, even if he was trying to mask it with everything he had.

You're like a son to me Tommy so whether you're with Jonathan or not, just know that your happiness is all that matters, ok?" she reassured him soothingly. "And I must thank you."

"Thank me?" he interrupted curiously.

"We've always known my Jonathan's appreciation for both men and women, and before he was just having these meaningless engagements with whomever which never made him happy in the slightest. And no parent wants to see their child unhappy. He loves you so much; you make my son happy Thomas and I can't thank you enough for that," she concluded graciously. And just like that the tears were back, flowing incessantly.

After all those terrible things he had said to Jonathan, how was he ever going to fix things? He knew Jonathan hardly revealed his feeling to anyone so for him to throw those feelings back in his face and make them seem so insignificant, especially when he knew that Jonathan genuinely loved him, he knew he truly fucked up this time.

Juliette could clearly hear sniffling on the other end but she wouldn't ask him to tell her. She wanted him to feel comfortable enough to confide in her.

"I-I'm not so sure he l-loves me anymore Juliette, not after what I said to him," Thomas stuttered after the tears stopped flowing.

"Come on nonsense, nothing you say can make that possible. Jonathan adores you no matter what." she assured him confidently.

"My God," she gasped alarmingly when Thomas divulged all that he said to Jonathan.

"I'm sorry I know it was wrong but I was hurting so much all the time, I just wanted him to hurt too," he answered sobbing hysterically.

"Do you love my son Thomas?" she asked calmly and sympathetically.

"Yes yes I love Ethan, more than you'll ever know," he answered proudly. He heard a soft chuckle on the other end and wondered what she was so happy about.

"Then that's all that matters. You just need to let him know that now. And like I said nothing you say will ever make him stop loving you. Love like that doesn't come around often so it's gonna take a lot more than that to make him stop. Grant you he'll be stubborn as a mule at first but... Just promise me one thing Tommy." She asked somewhat worriedly.

"Anything, what is it?" he asked eagerly.

"Please be gentle with him; he seems tough on the exterior but underneath all that is an extremely vulnerable man who would go the ends of the earth for the people he loves. He always puts everyone's happiness before his own; I just hope that this he can allow himself some happiness too."

She sounded really worried which made Thomas wonder once more if he could make up for what he had said. After talking some more and bonding with each other Juliette gave Thomas a casserole recipe that she said was Jonathan's favorite. He wondered if she forgot that he couldn't cook to save his life but he was willing to make the effort. He just wanted to make Jonathan happy.

She said Jonathan had called her but she just assumed he was home but she did confess that she managed to swipe his phone some time ago and installed a tracker app on his phone. Thomas laughed hysterically at her confession and she couldn't help but laugh too saying no matter how old her children were she always wanted to know where they were and if they were safe.

After revealing that Jonathan was at his beach home in Malibu, she told him she would arrange for a private plane to take him. It was a couple minutes after ten when he hung up the phone. Nearly two hours the two were on the phone for but it seemed like no more than ten minutes.

He slept till two in the morning which was a miracle in itself. He hadn't been able to get a good night's rest since his whole life went up in flames. He couldn't wait one more second. He needed to see Jonathan.

******

After phoning the pilot with his change of plans, he called an uber to pick him up in thirty then packed a few stuff before heading out. While on the plane he ran Juliette a short text telling her he decided he couldn't wait until light out. To his surprise she texted back immediately saying; "Go get him baby." He couldn't help the huge smile that took over his face at that moment.

Shortly after that, she sent another text saying that when he touched down, there would be a private car waiting for him. He couldn't express how grateful he was to her. After his mother died of breast cancer five years ago she had become so much like a mother to him and he loved her explicably and wholeheartedly because of that. He never knew his father; he died in the army before he was born so he never really missed the father he never knew.

By the time he reached LAX, it was some minutes after six. It wouldn't be long before he got to Jonathan. He was terrified but excited at the same time.

*******

"We're here Mr. Clarke." Thomas was driven out of deep thought when the announced their arrival. All he kept thinking about was what he was going to say to Jonathan once he saw him. What if running after him like wasn't the best idea, what if Jonathan was better off without him.

"Do you need help taking those in," the brown middle aged man asked delightfully. Thomas refused his offer graciously as he returned his smile. Poor guy must've thought he was an asshole. The man had been trying to make small talk with him since the moment he picked him up from the airport but he was too much in his thoughts to give anyone the time of day.

He reached in his wallet to tip the guy but he wasn't having it. "No no no put that away, Mrs. Donavon is a close friend. She told me to get you here safe and that's all that matters." He responded warmly.

"Ok thank you uh..." Great he didn't even know the man's name.

The man gave him an immediate chuckle and stretched his hand for a greeting. "I'm Antoine and you're Thomas, nice to meet you."

"It was nice meeting you too Antoine, I'm sorry if I seemed..."

"No nonsense, everyone has their bad days and besides, Mrs. Donavon sings your praises so you must be a good guy."

"Yeah... thanks again Antoine, bye." He told him as he exchanged on last smile and closed the door. He wasn't sure about being a good guy but he was surely on a mission to make up for the times he was bad. He needed to work on being a better person, for himself and everyone he loved.

There were two cars in the driveway which was unusual but it could be Camila's so he didn't think much of it. At least then he knew Jonathan was home. He just needed to push the key in the door and go to him. 'Ok deep breaths, in and out in and out,' he coached himself and he stood at the front door.

He had access to nearly everything Jonathan owned. Now only if he had the same amount of trust in Jonathan as Jonathan had in him. He sighed deeply then proceeded to open the door. He hadn't been there in over a year, nothing looked any different. He placed his luggage at the door and walked over to the huge sliding doors and looked out at the beach.

The beach looked so peaceful in the morning but he could still see about three people out on the water stand up paddling, which was one of his favorite things to do. He also loved walking along the beach and sunbathing on the patio, it had the most incredible view.

When Jonathan bought it three years he looked at him like he was crazy because he knew Jonathan didn't care very much for the beach but then Jonathan told him it wasn't just for him. He almost knocked Jonathan upside the head for doing something like that but he was grateful anyhow. Of course back then he had no idea that Jonathan had feelings for him but they definitely became closer.

To think that Jonathan would invest so much money in a house because he knew how much Thomas loved the beach was beyond surreal. At least he bought it in his name instead of Thomas', from what he knew of anyways. He wouldn't be surprised if he found out that was the case.

********

He was grateful that Camila wasn't there yet, at least then he could have a conversation with Jonathan without an audience, provided that there was screaming and yelling. Just as he was about to climb the stairs his Ricky Martin - Vente Pa' Ca ringtone sounded from his back pocket. Had he not been in such a foul mood he might have started dancing right then, he was obsessed with that song, even if he had no idea what they were saying.

It was his office, he couldn't worry about that now, Jonathan was more important. He pressed ignore, silenced it then left it on the kitchen island. He thought his nerves were n a high before but as he journeyed closer to Jonathan's bedroom door, he literally started shaking.

Standing in front of the door, he wanted to pull it silently and go in just in case Jonathan was still sleeping but what if he didn't have that privilege anymore, he knocked. Maybe he knocked to mildly, he knocked again three times. He could hear a restless groaning coming from inside, he woke him up, he just knew it. He wished he had just gone in like he'd wanted to in the first place.

"Gimme a sec Camila, what are doing here so early anyw..." Thomas heard Jonathan's muffled speech on the other end of the door but once Jonathan opened it and saw him he couldn't finish. Thomas took in his shirtless tired frame and looked up at him meekly, letting his eyes do the apologizing for the time being till Jonathan got over his shock.

"What are you doing here?" Jonathan whispered looking down at a remorseful Thomas. He wore a grey shawl collar cardigan, white t-shirt and blue jeans with a pair of oxford flats blue genuine leather casual shoes. Jonathan wanted him so bad right then but Thomas couldn't have chosen a worse time.

"I'm so so sorry for what I said to you, I didn't mean..." A sudden movement on Jonathan bed tore Thomas' eyes from Jonathan to inside the room for the first time since the door opened. Right wrapped up in Jonathan sheets in Jonathan's bed where Jonathan was most likely coming from was Jesse, fucking Jesse. Thomas lost it.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now! It hasn't even been three days properly since we... and you're already fucking him! Really Ethan?" Thomas spat furiously as he looked from Jesse to Jonathan. And to make things worse Jonathan had the nerve to stand there and look at him like he was the one who did something wrong.

He should've known that that would happen, Jesse was one of the people who was always around, you couldn't get rid of him if you tried. A year ago he might've been happy to see such a sight but Jonathan was now his and he'd be damned if he was going share Jonathan with the likes of Jesse. No fucking way.

He watched as Jonathan leaned against the door frame and folded his arms across his chest while staring him down. 'The fucking nerve of this guy,' Thomas thought fumingly as he stared at Jonathan in disbelief. Jonathan was definitely gonna get a piece of his mind but as for now he needed to get Jesse out.

"Can you leave!" Thomas told Jesse bitterly as he stared at him hatefully.

"Jesse's not going anywhere."Jonathan told him sternly and finally.

"What!?" Thomas gasped horridly as his eyes started to get teary. Despite everything that was happening with them, he knew Jonathan was probably angry and hurt but how could he talk to him like that, and in front of Jesse of all Person's. He was beyond humiliated but he wasn't ready to give up just yet.

"I mean come on, what's the point of even arguing about it? It seems like you've already made up your mind about what's going on here. So maybe you're the one who should go." Jonathan responded coolly.

"You fucking bastard," Thomas spewed through clenched jaws then turned his attention back to a bewildered Jesse who to his surprised climbed out of bed fully clothed. "Get out!" He roared one final time as he huffed angrily, all meant for Jonathan but at the moment was directed at Jesse.

That must've done the trick because jumped at those words ten slipped on his loafers and grabbed his phone. "Jesse you don't have to leave," Jonathan told him softly as Jesse inched closer to where the feuding pair stood. Just as Jesse was about to respond to that, Thomas lunged at Jonathan and shoved his chest but right in the same breath Jonathan grabbed him and shoved him against the wall pinning one of his hands over his head while the other got pinned in a downward angle.

"Are you out of your fucking mind!" Jonathan demanded angrily as he stared down at Thomas with eyes drowning in lust and aggravation. He was beyond pissed at Thomas but only Thomas knew how to get his blood boiling with anger and make him aroused at the same time. It was funny how mere seconds ago before he opened the door he felt like he had no life in him and now standing before Thomas he felt like he had the strength of a thousand men.

The way those big blue eyes stared up at him with so much want and desire, he instantly felt his dick getting hard. He watched as Thomas' brows furrowed in anger while he bit lightly on the corner of his lower pouty lip, God how he wanted taste those lips. Jesse felt like he was on the verge of a sudden cardiac arrest from the immediate physical attack between the two especially when it sounded so angry, but then he saw Jonathan move his hand from Thomas' and wrapped it gently around his neck then attacked his mouth in a punishing kiss.

No doubt that Thomas' lips were going to be swollen afterwards. It didn't take long for Thomas to Climb that towering body and wrap his legs around Jonathan as the two moaned, growled, groaned, whimpered and thrusted into each other. As hot as that was to watch, he knew that that was his cue to leave, he didn't want to cause any more trouble for the two.

******

"Nnnmmm, no nnnmmm," Jonathan muffled as he struggled to tear his lips from Thomas'. "I'm not doing this."Jonathan peeled Thomas from off of him and walked back briskly inside his room where he slid back the full-length, sliding windows and stepped out onto the balcony.

After Thomas steadied himself on the ground properly he straightened his clothing and walked into Jonathan's room where he just stood and stared at the sheets. Had he been wrong? Did he judge Jonathan too soon? There he was, trying to make things right again and he couldn't help but feel like he made things worse than they already were.

Rubbing the back of his neck he gently eased down and sat on the edge of the bed while he watched a miserable Jonathan just staring into the horizon. He accused first without the slightest thought of asking but could Jonathan really blame him. More importantly, what exactly would he have walked in on ha he not bothered to knock. He wanted to know what truly went on between them, it was driving him crazy. Just as he was about to go to Jonathan, Jonathan walked back in with a grim expression all directed at him.