Zinger

I understood what he was saying. No matter the state of my life or my commitment to another, I'd have abandoned it all and fled to Teddy and his "Have you ever been to Spain" inquiry. Nothing would or could have kept me from Teddy.

Thom interrupted my thoughts. "Look, I love you, and you love me. I think you are the love of my life, but I know I am not the love of your life. But, I think I could be a love of your life, and that's enough for me."

I looked at Thom's gentle face. I did love him. Very much. I had spent half my life relying on him, consoling him, gossiping to him, and listening to him breathe into the other end of my mobile.

"Let's go to bed," I said, as I finished my wine and stood up.

"Together?"

"Why not? We've done it countless times."

In my room, Thom stripped to his boxer briefs and climbed into Teddy's side of the bed. Thom was not my type. Generally, I was attracted to dark hair, dark eyes, and a decent amount of body hair. Thom was the opposite of all those things. He had fine blonde hair that he parted on the side and kept cut above his ears and off his neck. I wanted a rough look, and Thom looked like an altar boy. He had an innocent face, noteworthy mostly for the whites of his blue eyes. They were like milk, the whitest I had ever seen, unmarred by veins or red. He had large white teeth and a great smile, even if it was a bit crooked. He was a tennis player, so he had a tennis player's build. His muscles were long and sinewy. He had a tuft of blonde hair on his chest, but not much. He had a small path of blonde hair that trailed from his navel into his boxers. He had a lot of moles. I had never seen his dick.

I climbed into my side of the bed. It was odd to be in bed with someone other than Teddy or the boys. It made me a little melancholy.

We were face to face. Thom's hands were at his chest, and I took them into mine. I put my face to his and whispered, "I just want to listen to you breathe."

Thom kissed me, pulled my hands to his chest, and put his forehead to mine. "Let's sleep." He knew me perfectly.

Part Seventeen

Thom and I slept together the entire week, but we did not sex each other. We never had, and-for whatever reason-I was not ready for it. But, I was ready for the intimacy that preceded sex. So, we kissed, nuzzled, held hands and each other, spooned on the lounge chairs and in bed, and generally touched each other a lot. Before the week was over, Thom was planning to spend the summer with us.

Kurt had been right. Costa Rica was a happy place, and we were happy there. When we needed more than each other, we headed to the public beach or to Cafe Milagro, at the top of the hill.

The boys seemed as excited by Thom's pending return as I was. They thought the summer would be a "dry run" and, if it went well, then Thom would become a permanent in our home. I was not so sure. The ghost of Teddy hung over me, and no amount of rationality could purge it from my thoughts. Still, the hint of love was in the air. I just was not sure I could take the hint.

There was no surprise when Thom arrived. I took him and his bags to my room. I pulled him into an embrace and told him I was glad he was there. Then, I left him alone to unpack, clean up, and settle in.

Over dinner, I watched Thom and the boys with each other. Thom was a natural with them, and their affection for him-including Matthew's-was obvious.

Watching them together resolved my hesitation. It was clear we fit together as a family. The only question was whether Thom and I could fit together as a couple. I decided to find out.

While the boys cleaned up the kitchen, I asked Thom if I could talk to him privately. He looked at me quizzically, but said sure. We went to my room. After I closed the door behind us, I took him into my arms, pressed my mouth to his, and kissed him as deeply as I could, replacing the gentleness of our Spring Break kisses with a hunger that shocked me.

Thom was taller than me and, disappointingly, stronger. He was also probably hungrier. He quickly dominated the kiss, pushing his tongue into my mouth and his body into mine. Thom moved me to the bed and started to undress me. He quickly had me naked and in his mouth. I had not been sexed for almost 18 months, and masturbation is no substitute for a good blow job. And, his was a good blow job, long and deep. I quickly came in Thom's mouth. After draining me, Thom smiled at me and told me I tasted as good as he expected.

I wanted Thom to fuck me, and I let him know by grabbing his belt, undoing it, unbuttoning his Levi's, ripping his zipper down, and laying back on the bed.

"I don't have a condom."

"I don't care. I trust you."

Thom pulled me to the edge of the bed and pulled my legs up over his shoulders. He used his spit for lube. He had a bigger cock than I expected, bigger even than Teddy's. I had regained some resistance, so it took some effort to make the sex happen. We exerted the effort, and Thom was inside me. I felt his hair against my ass as he pressed all the way in and paused so I could relax and adjust to him. I looked into his eyes, and he looked back into mine. We did not break eye contact as he slowly pulled back and pushed back in, over and over, gradually picking up the pace as his orgasm built against my prostate. As he got closer, he used his shoulders to push my legs to my shoulders, and he bent over and kissed me. He panted he loved me as he came, filling me. When he did, I came all over my abdomen and stomach. I grabbed Thom's face, pressing my mouth to his and demanding that his tongue probe the depths of my mouth.

"I love you, too, Thommy. I really do."

"I'm glad," he responded. "I really am."

The doubts were settled. Thom's "dry run" was supposed to last 6 weeks, but it was settled in 6 hours. He would resign his tenured professorship at NULS. He would sell his awesome Lake Shore condo and his BMW. He would move to Makanda, share my bed, share our house, and share responsibility for Matthew, Mark, Kurt, and Kyle. He would live with the ghost of Teddy, but he would not have to live with the possibility of Teddy. He would have to live only with the possibility of Kevin and Thom.