I Fell in Love with a Ghost

"She was so happy going home. She had a chance to get her friends back, maybe find someone. Janey did, Cindy did, maybe she could hope too."

She paused, tears in her eyes. Then she grabbed my head roughly, until we were eye to eye.

"And that, you stupid little girl, is what you saw that night. A man that loved you so much he went an extra mile to get us back together. Just to make you happier. You have no idea how much I hate you right now, for breaking his heart, for not at least having the decency to talk to him. That being said, anything, and I mean anything, that I can do to help you, I'll do."

She didn't say another word, just strode out the door. The enormity of what I had done finally hit me, and I passed out again.

................................................

I was in the hospital for three days, being treated for stress. Stella, Janey, Cindy rotated staying with me. Heather was there almost constantly. We mended fences.

................................................

I went back to work, doing the best job I could.

One night I was whining yet again to my friends when Stella slapped me.

"What was that for?" I whimpered, holding me jaw.

"That was for being a sniffling little bitch. You fucked up, royally. Now, are you gonna whine the rest of your life like a little girl, or are you going to act like the woman we got a glimpse of and try to fix this?"

"How?" I asked, shocked. "He hates me and I don't blame him. What can I do?"

Janey spoke up.

"He's a mess. Sam told me he was back home and in therapy, something he hasn't done in a long time. If he didn't still love you, he'd be doing better by now. But, Babe, if you give him time to get over you, he will. What did your mantra used to be? Be bold? Well, live up to it. Find him, and make him listen."

"How? I don't know his name, where he lives, and the people that do won't talk to me."

Stella jumped in.

"I know where he is. So does Janey. Our men told us. But don't ask, you have to do this on your own. You need to earn this, to make it mean anything. That being said, we'll help you where we can, keep you going in the right direction. Are you woman enough?"

For the first time in three weeks, I felt hope. I squared my shoulders.

"Damn right I am. And I'm starting right now."

.................................................

It took me eleven weeks. I think Stella and Janey almost gave up on me, but I kept plugging.

I begged Reggie and Sam, but they absolutely refused. Sam was a little brutal with me.

He let me back in his bar one night, talked to me between customers.

"Let me start with how we met. We had something in common. Our wives were dying of cancer."

He showed me a picture. A smiling young woman, very pretty, holding Sam.

Amy, my wife, and Sarah, met in a support group the first time they faced cancer. They were close in age, and hit it off. We socialized, became good friends. We didn't live close, so we didn't get together often, but the girls talked constantly.

Two years before Sarah relapsed, it hit us. I was a mess. Sarah stopped working and moved up to help take care of here, and he was there every weekend, supporting me. He was a pallbearer, and Sarah sang her favorite song at the funeral.

I went into a depression. I knew I was going to lose the bar, I had bled all I could off it for her medical bills, and they stepped in, giving me the money to remodel and carry on until it became profitable again. They did it in part to give me a reason to live, I'm sure. I insisted on repaying them, so they set up a schedule. Twenty five hundred a year, no more, no less. I figured it up once. Without interest, it'll take me eighty three years to repay him."

He paused for a moment, the pain in his eyes at he put the photo up.

"I know you know he was in the war, you've seen the scars. He never talked abut it, but I got the feeling he was into some pretty hairy things. You've seen him in confrontational situations, so you know how tough he can be. When Sarah died, he cried like a baby. All his friends had serious doubts he would recover. We got him into counseling. It helped a little, but after eighteen months he decided he needed a change, so he came to see me. He wasn't ready for a lot of interaction, but he needed to be around people That's why he came and sat in the bar."

He paused for breath.

"Then you sat down at his table, and I saw him slowly come back to the land of the living. You know he always worried about the age difference, but what you don't know is that I'm the one who convinced him it didn't matter. To be honest, I've regretted that, after what you did."

He looked me in the eye and I felt like backing up.

"If it was up to me, I'd say he was well shut of you, but Janey, bless her heart, convinced me you really do love him. I'm sure you don't need to hear this, but if you find him, you better be able to tell him honestly you've actually grown up now. If you can't you don't have a chance. Here."

He handed me an envelope.

"He wanted you to have this. I almost didn't give it to you. Another thing you can thank Janey for."

I opened it when I got home, too afraid to in the bar.

"Kelly,

I've thought about this a lot the last few days. And while I'm tremendously hurt and disappointed by the way you behaved, in one way it was a blessing. You still haven't matured, and I was an old fool for thinking you had.

You have the makings of a terrific human being. Warm, compassionate, and capable of being very loving. The man who ends up with you will be lucky indeed. Too bad it wasn't me.

But, I made it clear when we first got together I wasn't into games or lies. What you did was juvenile and extremely cruel. The very lack of maturity you exhibited made it clear you weren't ready for an adult relationship. Think next time, communicate, never assume. It often turns out badly if you do.

That being said, I want to thank you for the time we spent together. It showed me love was still possible, and there was hope for me yet. I'll always treasure you for that and the time we spent together.

Go back to college. Set the financial world on fire. I expect to read about you in Forbes or Money Magazine one of these days.

I wish you the best,

Ghost"

Will I never stop crying?

.................................................

In the end, a mechanic at the bike shop fingered him. I had been in several times, trying to get them to give me his name and address. I was refused every time. In desperation I posted a picture of him and his bike on their bulletin board, asking for information and offering a reward.

He called, we negotiated a price. For two thousand dollars and a solemn promise to never divulge how I got the information, I had his name and home address.

I called the girls from the road, putting it on three way. Janey and Cindy were together, and Stella was on the other line.

"I found him!" I screamed, listening to the whoops and cheers.

"I'm on the way now. Wish me luck."

They gave me their well wishes and solemn advice, with instructions for updates.

It was fourteen hours from my house to his. I drove eight before getting sleepy, finding a motel an crashing for the night. I was up and off early the next day.

I missed him at work by ten minutes. I walked into the office and everyone stopped and stared at me.

"You're her!" gasped one girl, in wonder.

The office manager collected me and rushed me into his office.

"Does he know you're here?" he asked.

"No, I wanted to surprise him."

It took forty minutes of begging before he gave me his home address.

"I'm his past wife's uncle. We all feared for him after she passed, but he went away for awhile, and when he came back he was happier than he had been in a long time. He still has a picture of you on his bike as a screen saver. You're not going to hurt him again, are you? He's still in love with you, you can see it in his face."

"No" I cried, "Never again! Please, I have to talk to him."

He gave me directions, printing them out.

................................................

The man known as Ghost sat in his car and sighed. It had been a rough three months.

"Damn, when will I stop missing her?" he thought, as he slowly got out, walking up the steps to his porch, where he dropped his briefcase and sat in the big double rocker that had been left when he bought the place. He had bought it as a memorial to his deceased wife, because she had loved this lake. He would often sit and rock, watching the boats on the water and the changing leaves. He shut his eyes, and a vision of children cavorting on the edge of the water came to him, with a beautiful woman standing with them, smiling and waving. The woman was Babe, and the children were his.

He idly pushed at hair that was no longer there, He had shorn his locks off into a sensible business cut, and he still wasn't used to it. Seemed he had a lot of trouble sleeping lately, so he wasn't surprised when he started nodding off in the heat of the afternoon sun. Maybe he'd have a happy dream.

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I saw him, sitting in the rocker, obviously asleep. I cut the car off, glad the little Honda was so quiet, and slipped up on the porch. He looked so much older, and I hated his hair. I eased into the chair beside him, leaned in and wrapped my arms round him. He shifted in his sleep, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like 'love you', before wrapping an arm around me. I was afraid to move, and held as still as possible, savoring the feeling. I even managed to cry quietly.

He woke feeling something wet on his chest. He had an idle thought he'd spilled tea on his shirt, and looked down. It couldn't be.

"Babe?" he asked quietly being rewarded with a tightening of her arms, and snuffles beginning in earnest.

"What are you doing here?"

"Sorry, so sorry" Came out brokenly. That was the best I could do? I looked up at him, scared to death. He had tears in his eyes, too, but he hadn't let go of me. That's when I knew. He was going to forgive me, and I'd never do anything that stupid again.

I kept trying to talk as he tried to shush me. Finally he just leaned down and started kissing me. Deciding to let my tongue do the talking, I gave in. We must have kissed for twenty minutes before he stood, scooping me into his arms. I held on tightly as he unlocked the door and carried me through.

I'd love to say he had a beautiful house, that the layout was impressive and the furniture tasteful, but I only had eyes for him. He had a nice big bed, though. We collapsed on it, still kissing.

Bet this is the part where you think he ripped my clothes off and we screwed our brains out, but you'd be wrong. We kissed for another twenty minutes, before we caught our breath and started talking.

We talked for two hours. I got everything I wanted to say out. We finally got around to talking about my childish behavior, and I assured him I would never do that ever again.

"How do I know that?" He asked, gently.

"Because I had an idiot alarm installed" I said, pulling a gold chain out of my sweater. The crushed engagement ring dangled at the bottom.

"Any time I think of not talking or doing something stupid, I'll pull this out and look at it. It will make me think."

He frowned, then said something that made the rest of my life.

"Need to get that replaced. We'll go....."

That was all he got out before the banging like bunnies part of the program began.

................................................

We talked for two days. I was surprised to find out he was only thirty six.

"Men in my family start graying early. I have a cousin, twenty two, grayer than I am."

He was surprised when I told him I was twenty five. He thought I was twenty one or two.

I got around to calling my friends, putting them on speaker. There were cheers and congratulations.

"Now that that's settled, tell us your name" said Janey, laughing.

I put my hand over his mouth.

"You'll have to wait for the wedding" I laughed.

I had only one condition for the wedding. His hair had to grow back out before vows were exchanged.

So on a beautiful spring day five months later, under a bower by the lake at our home, Kelly Anne Pinckney and Aaron Neville Brown became one. Reggie walked me down the aisle while Stella cried, despite trying not too.

His extensive family welcomed me with open arms. My Dad managed to come back three weeks after the service. They seemed to get along well. If we had known he could have come, we would have waited, but in the end it was a good thing we didn't. We didn't know it, but I was six weeks pregnant when we said I do. A girl. Followed by two boys, but little Stella had her daddy wrapped around her finger from the time she was born.

.................................................

I sat in the living room, surrounded by family and friends, and looked out at the deck, remembering the party last spring, for our thirtieth wedding anniversary. My Ghost, in his mid sixties now, still had long hair, but it was white now. Mine was silver.

It was Halloween, and we had all our friends and family over. We had hired two local teen girls to herd the grandchildren around the neighborhood and then to the basement for a little party of their own. The adults were dressed. I was an Angel, and Ghost had on a long flowing white robe and held a staff. I think he was supposed to be Moses.

We have a good life. Seems his first wife inherited a string of offices from her father, specializing in investment and insurance services. Ghost sold them to Reggie, who was anxious to get into the Southern market. He saved money because I went to college on our money, but he did hire me to run a local branch, after the kids were all in school. Ghost took part of our money and bought a Harley dealership to keep himself busy.

We named our first son Reginald, and he and Stella were godparents to all of our children. They even spent time with them in the summer when they got older, much to their delight. They called them Grandpa and Nonnie, and didn't know for years they weren't actually related. When Reggie died the tears couldn't have been anymore heartfelt if they had been blood. Stella bought a house close enough to us the kids were there almost constantly. She developed a relationship with a man ten years her junior, but never remarried. He loved her, though, and when she passed we thought we might have to sedate him. She left him their home and a small fortune. She left her financial empire to her grandchildren.

Janey married Sam, and they're still together. They have five children.

JoJo still lives with Mona, his tattooed mistress. They never had any children.

Heather married Ron. It lasted eleven months before they had it annulled. She stayed single for four years, before meeting a man twenty years her senior, who swept he off her feet. They had one child, a son. So she did indeed become a trophy wive, but she loved him and never strayed. When he passed two years ago she retired and moved down to be close to us. She and the man Stella loved have developed a relationship based on similar loss, but who knows if it will go anywhere.

Cindy married Johnny. It lasted three years before he left her. After a few years, she developed a relationship with a woman. And her husband. We accepted them, and she had a daughter a few years later.

I was brought back to reality by Cindy's daughter, as she told her tale.

"So what do you think I should do, Aunt Babe{I never shook the nickname. I was kind of proud of it}?"

Seems she was desperately in love with a man eight years her senior. She was twenty two, he was thirty. The age difference bothered him. He was here, and her eyes followed him as he mingled. He kept glancing at her. It was pretty plain what was going on.

I took the cute little devil by her redgloved hand.

"JJ[Janey Junior, we developed a habit of naming our children after each other], let me tell you a ghost story."

The women, young and old, collapsed in giggles.

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Well there it is. I hope you liked it.

Just a note. I just got home from a lengthy stay at the antiseptic hotel. They wouldn't let me have my laptop, so all I had to do was think. It led to me completely scrapping the third installment of Finding An Editor, it was just too saccharine. I went in a different direction, and hope to have it out soon. I'm a little slower, if that's possible, now. My keyboard skills, never great, are diminished slightly now due to a numb left hand.

Thanks for your time, comment and vote if you want.

QHML1