3 Families Vol. 02 Ch. 03

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"Can you re-tie this?" Candy turned her back. Jo had noticed it of course. How the same cups that held her breast the summer. Not that they were small before. Like two softballs, maybe a large c cup or small D. Jo didn't have much knowledge never getting past a B cup herself.

"I swear I am just over two months and I feel like a whale." Candy pouted looking at herself in the mirror. Candy was always a little critical of any weight she put on so now that her appetite had gone up her clothes hugged her nicely.

"You look fine." Jo grinned. "Wait and till you really start showing." Jo said tying the back of the neck first as Candy pulled her hair aside. Jo kind of wanted to lean down and kiss her neck as her fingers brushed along it. There was just something about it. Probably because she looked so much like Kitty Jo thought.

"Uh, love you too." Candy smirked at her.

"I am just picking." Jo winked at her reflection in the mirror. "I am glad to see you and Alex are okay." Jo smiled. Candy had become a friend and she couldn't have her friends mad at each other.

"Well as much as we can be given the fact that I broke his heart and am lying to him. But I do want to spend time with him before he leaves." Candy pouted. Jo could tell this was hurting Candy, not telling him but Jo had agreed to keep her secret for the time being.

"Just don't get to close okay." Jo said as she went to tie the back. She pulled it taught, maybe a little too tight as her nipples poked out but her boobs wouldn't slip out.

"What do you mean?" Candy looked at her.

"I just don't want him to get mixed messages is all." Jo shrugged.

"Always looking out for your best bud." Candy grinned.

"You're both my friends, I don't want either of you to get hurt." Jo smiled. "There all done."

"Thanks." Candy turned and kissed her cheek, then kissed Jo again but this time on the lips. Jo froze in place as candy kissed her, for a second she almost kissed her back but instead she stepped back away from Candy.

"Wow. What was that?" Jo said a little stunned.

"Sorry I just thought." Candy blushed as she touched her hair and hung her head.

"Thought what?" Jo said.

"You know, we been hanging out a lot and." Candy muttered, Jo could tell she was flustered by it.

"Look I like you but not in that way, plus Alex still has feelings for you." Jo shrugged.

"I am sorry you're right." Candy nodded. Jo could see she was probably feeling alone.

"It's okay we will just chalk it up to the hormones." Jo said touching Candy's shoulder and smiled at her.

"Yeah hormones." Candy nodded.

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Foxterot7aFoxterot7aalmost 2 years ago

At this time, all I am going to say is that I like the story and the characters.

chiefhalchiefhalabout 2 years ago

Aside from all the previous editorial comments... getting your own characters mixed up is unforgivable!

BlueEyd2BlueEyd2over 2 years ago

I love the story. The characters are great, the story is fun, hot and erotic, BUT I wish you had used an editor. I read it all, but the misspelled words, grammatical errors, poor puncuation, etc. were very distracting and detracted from what is a great story.

Anyway, hope you continue to write.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I really wanted to like this story, but I just can't. The constant timeline flopping, and the serious need for a real editor, is just driving me nuts. I got to page 2 of this chapter and go any further.

WretchedMonkeyWretchedMonkeyabout 5 years ago
I like the story but it has issues.

It looks like I'm halfway through this thing right now but I thought I'd take a moment to make a comment about some things I've noticed. Firstly, there is a story discrepancy in this chapter, 'Izzy-Belle' canon-balled off the dock and raced away from her sister in 1999 but in a previous chapter it was mentioned that in 'the present', she can't swim. Which is it?

Other than that, there aren't any glaring continuity issues that I've noticed but the constant switching between times is dizzying. The first chapter nearly made me stop reading, you'd get a paragraph in the present and then flick to a flashback, then back again for another paragraph before another surprise flashback! The constant back and forth is near infuriating sometimes. However, the actual story is good and the character progression is interesting.

The author badly needs an editor though, there are numerous instances where words are misspelled, omitted or just plain wrong. He uses slang in one part of speech but doesn't use a common contraction in another? Some of the dialogue just doesn't flow properly because of the errors and it's disappointing because the story is very interesting and could be a lot more popular.

Anyway, the writing could be improved, especially with an editors eye picking up the mistakes but the core of the story and characters are really good and I'm enjoying it.

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