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"No," I said quietly, "That's not how it is."
She finally looked up, saw me. Saw my eyes.
"You...you don't have to...I understand that..." she never made it through whatever she was trying to say, too choked up to continue.
"Becky," I said, keeping my voice soft, "I need you to trust me. You aren't an awful mother. That's the illness talking. Julia worked herself up far before your tried to talk with her. Her explosion was probably inevitable. She's a good girl and she's in the grip of stuff she doesn't understand. We do, though."
She reached out her hand and placed it in mine. She was confused now. Still wary, but not hopeless. A good start.
"Julia's feeling the same kind of attraction to me that you did. That i felt for Mom. She may have done some of the same sort of thing that you did. It's almost exactly the kind of situation that we suspected might happen, but somehow, I missed all the signs. Even when they were literally sitting in my lap."
Becky was snuffling but she was interested, curious...no longer beating herself up. That was good.
"That's what I thought, too. I just...I don't understand why she's so angry at me. I...I only wanted to talk to her."
"I've spoken with her. She lied because she was afraid. We're so used to this life that the idea that she would feel so horrible for just having these feelings is almost impossible for us to comprehend. We would never even consider it. But that's what she's thinking. That her feelings for me are just as bad as if she drugged me and raped me. Or seduced me away from you and wrecked our home. She's not angry, she's panicked. Naturally, all of this happened at the one time when my intelligent and wonderful wife was at her most vulnerable and likely to believe in the worst possible case. And her much less intelligent husband was just blissfully unaware. I have no excuse for missing it and I'm sorry."
I stopped speaking, let Becky think.
"Do you think...that she'll talk to me now?"
I smiled, widely. This was all I could have hoped for.
"Yes. Absolutely. I've explained things and she knows that you understand what she's going through. Whatever you and her want to do regarding her...her feelings, you know I'll support you."
Becky stood up. The only emotion showing on her face now was a mixture of confidence and concern for her daughter, who she loved more than anything. She was herself again, the best mother I'd ever seen. She moved towards Julia's room, but then stopped and came back to me, kissing me on the cheek. Then she moved on to do what she had to.
I made coffee, feeling like things would be ok, like I had finally done the right thing, even if I were a bit a late. I brought some to August. He was a good kid and really hadn't done anything. I mean, except really want to fuck his mother. I could empathize.
"Hey. We're gonna be all right now. Family's gonna stay together."
"Oh...oh was that what the shouting was about? You and Mom worked things out?"
"We're on our way. It might take a little while but I think the worst is over. But I'm going to need your help with ensuring that the family sticks together."
He looked relieved but also sat up straighter.
"Dad. I will do anything you need me to do. I'm...uh..."
"Sorry to cut you off, son, we need to act kind of fast. I need you to pack an overnight bag. No questions. Then throw that in the car and meet me on on the back porch. It's time for that talk."
He got a little paler, but nodded.
"Oh, and stop looking at MILF porn. No time for that tonight, son."
I could see that he was mortified that he didn't turn his monitor off fast enough when I came in the room. But I still had stuff to do and Becky wouldn't be talking with Julia forever. I went to our room and packed a few things. Just simple comfortable clothes, stuff to sleep in (although I suspected that she'd be sleeping naked). I threw it in back of the car next to August's. Then I went and got two beers from the fridge and headed for the back porch.
Time for that talk.
--- Julia ---
My mind raced. I wasn't certain of anything.
It wasn't that I didn't believe Dad. There was just...so much to take in. He...he was like me. He'd had an affair with his mother. No, it was more like a marriage. And Mom was...what, ok with it? I found it hard to believe, at first. But she loved Dad, and wasn't very judgemental.
And of course, there was more.
The door opened. Shit. I tried to appear calm. Like...like everything was completely better and I understood what was going on. I must have failed because I saw Mom's face was full of concern and...regret?
She immediately came over and hugged me. I hugged her back and started crying. So much for calm. Mom ended the hug, but it felt so good while it lasted. It told me more effectively than any words could that she didn't hate me.
"I...I am so sorry. I knew to expect this. I...we planned on this happening with at least one of you. We talked about what we would do, and how," Mom stopped and laughed briefly, "I even rehearsed this talk. But I guess I blew it."
"You...you expected me to fall in love with Dad?" I had a hard time accepting this.
"Yes. I mean, we weren't sure, but we knew there was a chance. And...and I'm fine with it."
"What? But the way you looked at me on the couch? The questions? The argument?" I was raising my voice, even though I didn't mean to. Once I realized it I took a deep breath. But Mom looked relaxed and smiled sadly.
"Julia, honey, I...that is all my fault. I...haven't been healthy," She stopped and wiped some tears from her face, "God, why is this harder to talk about than you sleeping with your father. I have...or suffer from...or whatever you want to call it, depression."
"Oh god Mom. I had no idea. At all," I really didn't. She was always cheerful. Or seemed that way. The worst she ever seemed was just irritable.
"That's my fault. I never told you or August. Your father told me you were old enough to understand, but it just seemed like burdening you. And parents shouldn't burden their children."
I'd never seen Mom this vulnerable. I always saw her as so self-contained. So strong.
"It didn't used to be this hard to manage. It...it came and it went. When it came I just smiled wider and told your father that I was sick. when you were about eight it got much worse. Your father was so worried. I told him everything and he asked me to see a doctor. So I did. I have medication now and a therapist. Recently...its been bad again. It was just starting to lift when...when all this started."
I stopped her by hugging her. I couldn't imagine what she had been suffering silently.
"Mom...I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. It's not an excuse. It's something that makes me question myself. My value. And how could anyone love you if you have no value? That's why I was so ready to believe that I had just made everything worse and made my own daughter hate me. I felt guilt and loss and...well, the important thing is that I love you and could never hate you."
"I don't think you'll feel that way after I finish telling you...what I need to tell you," I was dubious about her being understanding about the things that I'd done, but I knew I had to tell her. I hated lying. I hated lying to myself, and I hated lying to my family. But she just smiled gently.
"I'm ready to listen, honey. And then, whatever you say, we'll work it out."
I couldn't think of a solution, but Mom made believe that we could find one. So I told her everything. Even the really embarrassing and dubious stuff like watching her and Dad have sex and then touching myself while sitting in his lap. When I finished she didn't look mad. In fact a few times she looked as though she might laugh. I was confused but...but I was so relieved.
"Honey. We are so different, but so similar. I can't imagine you being anyone else's daughter. I have some things that your father wrote that I need to share with you. But that's for later. Before we talk about solutions, we need to talk about the...special traditions...in our family. Did your father tell you about his relationship with his mother...or his sister?"
I nodded.
"Yes. Well, partly. He told me about his affair with his mother. But he told me to ask you about his sister. I don't know why."
She chuckled, "That sounds like him. He told you to ask me about his sister...because I am his sister."
My jaw dropped for the millionth time that day. I couldn't even get any words out.
"That's part of why we moved across the country when I got pregnant with you and August. We were in love and had no reason to stay and every reason to avoid discovery. So..you can understand why we might have a different view of your feelings towards your father. In our family, it seems to be a natural part of becoming an adult."
"Oh my god," I said, "This makes so much sense. You never talked about your parents because they were also his parents. And you weren't roleplaying in the tent. Holy shit."
She laughed again.
"But let's leave my relationship with your father for a minute. It's time to talk about yours. You're strongly attracted to him, almost uncontrollably. And you love him, like I do. So...do you want to go through with it?"
What. I was stunned. I was confused. I was turned on.
"Wait...is that...is that even an option?"
Mom smiled.
"Not only is it an option, it's the one I think is right. But I won't pressure you. If you don't want to, fine. If you don't feel comfortable living with us, we'll find a way that you can live on your own. If you just want to try living here but not act on your feelings, while that would be very hard, we'll support you."
My mouth was suddenly very dry. I felt like I was vibrating all over.
"I want him. Oh god I'm sorry but I want him so bad. Please," I said it all very fast before I lost my courage, "Will...will you share him with me?"
"Of course," she answered immediately, "If it were anyone else, I'd never allow it, but you? We made you together. I love you. I trust you with him. And I honestly feel much better about your father being your first real romance, because I know that he'll respect you and never hurt you. You even used the word 'share'. Because you don't want to steal him at all, you just need him as much as I do. So...let's talk about that."
I could not have been more interested. I did kind of want her to just give me the bullet points so I could get on with fucking Dad, but I knew that was not the way to do things.
"Normally, I'd want him to take you out. Court you, and you can court him. Teasing each other. Let things develop naturally. But...given what you've just told me, I think you might need him to, uh, take the edge off, so to speak. So, if you are ok with your first time with him being tonight, then I am too. Later, you can go on dates and trips together so you have time to yourself. Or I can arrange for August or myself to be scarce. And of course, I'm perfectly fine with both of you having sex while we're in the house, you just have to be very careful and quiet. But even that can be fun. Oh," she said, "And we'll need to make a schedule. Naturally."
She said it all so matter of factly. Of course we'll need a schedule to divide Dad's time up so no one is neglected sexually. And he can take me on romantic trips. All very normal. Oh, and by the way, do you want your father to take your virginity tonight? I decided to agree before I woke up from this lovely dream
"Yes. All that...sounds wonderful. I'm not just saying it either. I want everything to be fair. Shouldn't we...uh...ask Dad though?"
She laughed.
"Oh, we talked about most of this ages ago. It's just details that we girls need to establish. He'll be fine with whatever we tell him. But the details can wait. I'm going to go tell your father that he has duties to perform. I'll grab August and take him out to dinner. It will give me a chance to tell him about my depression and reassure him that everything is ok."
I was very eager for this plan. I was excited to be a part of it. But something occurred to me.
"I...I think August might have feelings for you too, Mom." I didn't have any hard evidence, but he had been acting a little oddly, and I knew for a fact that he loved his MILF porn. I will also admit that I found the idea of my cute emo brother having sex with Mom to be...really fucking hot.
"Well...I've seen some signs but nothing really definitive. I honestly doubt that he would be interested in me, given the age difference. Your father has been dropping hints in his annoying-but-humorous way. And of course he would be fine with August and I...being together."
If Mom seriously thought that an age difference would somehow stop young men from finding her devastatingly attractive then she was in for a surprise. Especially someone like August, who tended to see things differently than society expected him to. I...I actually found myself hoping that he did want her.
"Huh. I wonder how serious he is with Tara," I said without thinking.
Mom's eyes narrowed. She didn't look mad but...
"Who's Tara?" she asked casually. Too casually. I smiled internally.
"Oh, just a cute sophmore that August has been seeing. I don't think it's gone very far, because he'd bring her home if things got serious. She's probably only interested in him because he's all dark and gothy."
Mom shook her head and stood up.
"As long as whoever he ends up with treats him right, I'm fine with it. He's just so...so sensitive, it would be so easy for a girl to take advantage of him. But that's another conversation. I'm heading out. Your father will be in soon."
My eyes must have been huge as I realized what that implied. Dad was going to come into my room and then fuck me. Oh, ok. Mom saw and laughed.
"Relax. You don't have to do anything tonight if you don't want. You can put it off or only go a little way and stop or just talk. It's fine. And I can speak from decades of experience that your father understands consent very well, and has never gone past a point where I wasn't comfortable or when I wanted him to stop. No matter how horny he got"
Mom stood up, kissed me on the head, and left the room.
I sighed. Yes. That's the way to look at it. Stay relaxed. We're just going to have a conversation. A conversation that might end with my father's cock inside me.
Jesus Christ.
--- Dad ---
When I got outside, August was standing awkwardly. We sat down on some chairs next to the grill, I handed him a beer, to his surprise, and opened mine, taking a deep pull. It was a beautiful and clear night. The moon was high and you could smell the jasmine that I kept in the backyard. It was, I reflected, the perfect night for this sort of thing.
"I know that's not your first beer, but pretend it is. So. I thought about having this talk with you awhile ago, but I decided to wait until it made sense to do it. I'm going to warn you, it's going to be a little embarrassing for you."
August looked unsure, but worried.
"What is this about, Dad?"
"Well...it's about sex."
He laughed, as I knew he would.
"Jesus Dad, I'm eighteen. And we had the talk a long time ago. I know...enough...about sex."
"First of all, you can never, ever know enough about sex. Especially with regards to what your partner needs. Secondly, we haven't had this talk. I'd remember."
"No, Dad, I'm sure we did..."
"Oh? So, at some point in the past we talked about how you desperately want to fuck your mother?"
His face lost all color. Bless his heart, he is a good son. I think he will be a better man that I am.
"Oh...oh god. Is it that obvious? I don't...didn't want this...I'm so sorry Dad, I haven't done anything, I swear. I mean, I cuddled with her and hugged her and looked down her shirt. Oh god but she didn't do anything! She didn't even know! I don't want you thinking that..."
"I know, son, I know. It's going to be ok. I have some advice that I think will get you through this trying time."
If he wasn't so worked up he would have realized that something was off with my tone.
"Anything, Dad. I...I don't want to hurt anyone in this family, especially Mom. And I don't want to betray you, either. Just tell me what to do, and I swear I'll do it."
I smiled. He really was a good son. I put my hand on his shoulder in a fatherly way, and looked into his eyes. I don't know how I kept a straight face.
"Well, you should really try spanking her. It drives her absolutely wild."
"Jesus Christ, Dad. That's...I don't...what?"
I finally laughed. I couldn't keep it in any more. He laughed too, despite himself. I got serious.
"It's fine. It's fine and perfectly normal. Well, for our family. I did the same when I was your age. And your mother wants you too, although she would never push you into anything. She cares for you too much. So take a deep breath."
He did.
"Dad, you're...you're being serious, right? I mean, what I'm feeling...isn't wrong?"
"I don't think it is. Your mother missed all the signs, but I didn't. She's...well she hasn't been herself lately."
"I...I noticed Mom has been sad lately. I've been worried," but then he remembered that we were just talking about him fucking his mother, "But are you really ok with me, uh...having sex with her? I...I don't want to hurt you or...break you guys up or...worse"
I chuckled. How a horny teen who just got permission to fuck his dream woman could worry about his father, I don't know. But like I keep saying, he's a good son.
"If it were anyone else, it would be out of the question. But not you. I trust you because I know you love her. Just as I trust her with you. This may not work for everyone, everywhere. But it works here. And you'll still be her son and she'll be your mother and I'll be your father and her husband. You two will just be closer. And we'll have something else in common to talk about."
"Wow. I just...wow. I don't know what to say except thank you."
"Good, son. Keep that gratitude. Hold on to it. Don't take her or me or your sister or anyone you love for granted. Listen to your mother, she'll teach you what you need to know. She'll make you very happy, and vice versa. And I do have some final, serious advice, if you want it."
"Yeah. I think I do. I honestly probably need it. I've...uh...never gone all the way before."
"Your mother is going to come out of Julia's room soon. She's going to ask you to go to eat to tell you something. Something that doesn't directly relate to what we've been talking about, but it's very important that you listen. You should drive. Go someplace nice, that she likes. If it hasn't come up already, then tell her how you feel. Be open about it. She may be a bit surprised but we've discussed this possibility and I guarantee that whatever happens she will not be mad. I don't know what all will come up beyond that, but if you two decide you want to, just go to a hotel and do whatever comes natural. I packed a bag for her."
"Yeah. Yeah, I can do that. Thank you."
He stood up and made for the back door, but stopped halfway there.
"Dad."
"Yes?"
"Is this why Julias been weird too?"
I just smiled, laughed, and drank my beer. He shook his head and went indoors. It really is a wonderful life.
--- August ---
I had barely been inside for a minute when I saw Mom come out of Julia's room. She looked so much better I actually sighed in relief. Dad walked over, talked to her quietly for a Moment, and then went into Julia's room.
It occurred to me that if she's going through the same thing I am, and Dad's going into her room, and we're leaving them alone then...
Holy shit. That took me a long time to figure out. I was distracted by Mom.
"Well, um. I hope you don't have any plans? I was hoping you could take me out to dinner, maybe? And I could, uh, talk to you about..."
