Breaking Taylor

"I can't. If I do he'll be in here in seconds and restrain your more. He's out of control and I'll do what I can to stop him, but I need your help. I need you to not upset him. Shit, if I hadn't grabbed his gun your Phillip would be dead." He was holding my wrists. "I had these beautiful bracelets made for you. He wanted to leave you in leather. I knew the more the leather got wet the tighter it got. He didn't care. Do you remember begging me to take the leather off?" He was looking into my eyes.

"Yes, just like I am begging you to take these chains off now. How can I protect myself from him when I am restrained?" I tried to reason with him.

"You can't protect yourself from him. That's what I am trying to get you to see." He stood up and sat me down on the edge of the bed. "I have to go. He'll be back soon you should try to get some rest. Tomorrow will be a hard day for you. Even harder for me knowing what he will be putting you through."

"Do not attempt to be a martyr in this. You're as guilty as he is. You could stop this if you wanted to. All you want to do is scare me into obedience. You two had this plan to make me a love slave and now David is going to do it. You aren't even going to try to stop him because you want it as much as he does. If you didn't I would never have been brought here. Just admit it and stop trying to lie to me. You're really not a very good liar, you never were." He let go of my hands and went to the door.

"Remember what I said. He's out of control. Be careful." He said then he left. I tried to figure out what he was up to. What did David have planned for tomorrow that had him worried? Was he really worried or was he just trying to scare me? I decided I would do what I had to do to stay alive. Phillip would come for me. I had to believe that. It was the only hope I had.

I looked at he computer wishing I could talk to someone, anyone. Why couldn't they trace that signal and find me? Why had Phillip not sent the police? Or had he and they couldn't rescue me without putting me in more danger? Are they out there now watching the house? Almost a year, had it really been that long? I noticed the blood dried on my dress and went into the bathroom to clean it up. I did not hear the door open. I did not notice David standing at the bathroom door.

When I saw him I took a step back and almost fell. He didn't try to help me. Instead, he turned and walked back into the main room. I did not want to follow. I did not want to be anywhere near him. Fear was ripping me apart. I knew I had to go in the room. I knew I had to face him.

Timidly, I hobbled into the main room. I kept my head down so I would not have to look directly at him. He was near the dressing table. I stopped about five yards from him, waiting for the worst to happen yet again. It didn't. Every ounce of my being told me to scream and get away from him. I shook with fear.

David stepped closer. I shut my eyes and silently prayed he would not touch me. I could feel the air move as he walked around me in a circle. What was he up to? What did he want? I kept my eyes closed. He gently touched my hair and I felt warm liquid course down my legs. I had actually urinated on myself from the fear! He didn't pull his hand away though. I could barely breathe and tried to catch my breath.

"Ah, so you are afraid." His smile was downright evil. He took his hand away and stood in front of me. "Give me your hands." He demanded. I obeyed. He cut the zip ties off my wrists then off my ankles.

"Thank you." I said without looking at him. Fear ripped through me. What if Chris was telling the truth? My eyes were open now. The fear of what he might do kept me alert, overly so.

"You're bleeding." He said and waited for me to reply.

"It, it's stopped. It's not bad." I stammered. I did not know what to make of this. I was not sure I could stand here and do this. I was one small step from actually passing out from fear.

"I saw Chris leave. He spoke to you then about what will happen?" He sounded almost businesslike, like this was a simple business transaction. Like earlier had never happened. I knew I had to answer but I did not think my voice would allow me to. Tears coursed down my face as I looked at my feet, noticing the bruising around my ankles.

"Hhheee was here." Came out in almost a whisper. How could I know what might set him off again. I tried to choose my words very carefully. "He told me what you want." I stated almost resigned to the fact that it would happen whether I wanted it to or not. I wish I could stop trembling and lash out at him, show him how angry I was. But the fear was greater. How could I stop him from hurting me? I was in a locked room with him. He could easily restrain me and do whatever he wanted no matter how hard I fought against it. Truthfully, he could do whatever he wanted even if I wasn't restrained, how could I stop him?

"Well then," He said as he took a more relaxed stand. He crossed his arms and continued. "There are a few things we need to address." My God he sounded as if this were normal! I took a careful glance at him through the hair hiding my face. He didn't appear to be angry. "It was necessary for me to do what I did. It helps the training go much easier." He stated as he stood like a statue.

David was a very handsome man. Hair almost black, he had the look of a well built line backer. His broad shoulders and slender hips would have drawn any woman to him. His eyes were dark. Brown I think. Any other circumstance I myself might have fallen for him. Here, though his size struck fear into me. I didn't understand what he was saying. Necessary? How could it possibly be necessary to be so brutal? What was I in for?

"Fear is essential in building the trust required for your training. Tomorrow will be the first step. I want you to understand there are rules and those rules will be followed. By both of us." He sounded firm and so sure of himself. Chris had said David had successfully trained other women. Was this how he did it? Terrorize them then somehow gain their trust? It seemed impossible to think I could ever trust him or anyone else ever again. I didn't want to. Every fiber in my being was screaming that I should do whatever I had to get away from him. I listened carefully though. What he said might mean the difference between life and death for me. I was still trembling and wanted to ask him a thousand questions. I didn't want to cooperate; I didn't want to be trained. I resigned myself though into doing what I had to. I had to find a way out and doing what he wanted might allow me a little freedom to get out of this hellhole.

"The rules are for your safety. The first part of your training will be to build your trust and teach you the rules." David smiled like he knew a funny secret that he would teach me soon enough. "If you follow the rules the training will be much easier on you. But we'll go over those tomorrow. I just wanted to bring you some clean clothes." He had laid an outfit on the bed. I hadn't even seen it. "Get showered, put that on and clean up your mess." He instructed. "I'll be down here early tomorrow. It will be a long day." He hesitated as if knowing I would speak to him.

"David," I said quietly. "I don't think I can do this. I really don't. I know I really don't have a choice." I paused, collecting my thoughts and trying to choose words that would not set him off. "You terrify me." It was all I could bring myself to say. I still did not look up. I simply waited for the bomb to drop.

He laughed! He actually laughed. "Taylor, fear is a wonderful tool if it is used properly. When the training is over you will thank me." He said as he left the room. I hated the sound of those locks. So loud and secure sounding. I ran to the bathroom, sat on the stool with the lid closed and cried. How could I do this? What would happen tomorrow? Why was he laughing? What was funny about what he did to me? Why did Chris even bother to tell me those things? Was it the good guy / bad guy thing? Taking slow, deep breaths I steadied myself. I knew I would have to go through with this in order to try to get away from here. As much as I hated it I would have to do what David wanted. I stood, took off the soiled dress, started the shower then climbed in. I took special care to make sure every part of me was scrubbed clean and soft. When I got out I applied lotion, a nice tropical scented one. I combed my hair what seemed like a thousand times. I then went about cleaning up the small mess I had made in my fear before dressing. At least they allowed me a very nice robe.

This must be similar to being in prison. I wasn't allowed to have anything sharp. I wasn't even allowed to shave myself. Chris had a lady that came once a month or so to wax me, keep my hair trimmed and do my nails. He preferred the French manicure style, so there were no fancy colors. The pedicures were nice though. I hadn't treated myself to one in a long time before he brought me here. Now I get them regularly. I made a promise to myself. When or if I ever got out of here I would get one every month. I would begin to pamper myself more. I made many promises to myself that I began wondering if I would ever be able to keep. I finished cleaning the mess and focused on the outfit David had left for me.

I stared at it. Was I seeing what I thought I was? Chris had left me skimpier outfits than this. How did this fit into the training David had planned? Everything about the training had me confused. He really thought I would trust him after what he has done to me? Was he truly crazy? Or was I deceiving myself? Could David really do something that would give me no choice but to trust him? That idea was terrifying in itself. I didn't want to think about the position he could put me in that might force me to trust him. I tried to stay focused on this confusing outfit. It was beyond pretty, it was gorgeous. It was from a different era, but none the less it was beautiful. It was a powdery blue color with white lace flowers trimming it. It was a dress, floor length, with a flowing skirt. Upon closer inspection, I noticed the skirt was removable; leaving a small ruffled skirt that looked something like a cheerleader would wear. The top was a snug bodice, sleeveless with a lace collar. It was mostly a modest gown. I hung the dress from the hook on the closet door. The closet where they kept my clothes, but also kept it locked so they could control what I wore. I sat on the bed and admired the dress.

When I was first brought here sleep would elude me. Now it came in the form of exhaustion. My dreams were always haunted with what has happened to me. Tonight was different. Tonight I dreamt of Phillip and filled myself with the hope that somehow he would come. Somehow he would save me from all of this because I certainly could not see any way of saving myself.

CHAPTER 6

I woke up screaming. Simon was there he was saying something to me but I didn't understand a word. A moment later Phillip was there. He sat on the edge of the bed, embraced me and stroked my hair. I stopped screaming and buried my face against his chest. He smelled so good and I felt secure in his arms. The idea scared me. Phillip was a strange man and how could I trust him after everything I had been through. In some strange way I did though. I was sobbing quietly now.

"It's all right." He said soothingly. His accent was so charming. "You're all right now. You're safe." He kept saying over and over as he gently stroked my hair like a concerned parent comforting a child after a nightmare. Eventually I calmed and pulled away from him. I was still timid and confused with myself about why his touch soothed me when it should have had a far different effect.

"I'm sorry I woke you." I said as I looked at him and saw the true concern on his face. I felt a little guilty. He was only trying to help me and here I was upsetting his life.

"Oh, Taylor. It's not a bother. When you came I expected far worse. A little nightmare is nothing." He nervously chuckled. "Think you would sleep better if Simon stayed in the room?" He never moved from the edge of the bed. He tenderly took my hand in his and held it.

"I don't know. It's been so long since I could sleep safely. I just don't know. I'm willing to try though." I was mesmerized by this man. I never thought after everything that I would ever meet a man so sincere and caring again. How could I put him through this? He didn't deserve to play nursemaid to a malfunctioning woman. That's what I am, malfunctioning and damaged. At least that's how I felt. Would I ever feel whole again?

"Here," He said as he pulled the covers back. He urged me to lie down, and then tucked me in. He took my hand again. "I'll stay right here until you fall asleep. You'll be safe. You have my word."

I was so tired, so exhausted. My feet were killing me and the bed felt good. It smelled good, relaxing. "Thank you." I said and closed my eyes. I was asleep in seconds. When morning finally came I was stunned. Phillip had never left me. There he was, sleeping peacefully in a chair he'd pulled up right next to the bed. I wondered if he had done this for Sarah and thought how lucky she must have been. I did not want to wake him so I slid out of bed and went to the bathroom and prepared myself for the day. I found a nice, simple pantsuit in the closet and put it on. It flattered my figure. I could barely look at myself without seeing the torment I went through. I still had those horrible "bracelets" on. I wish they could be removed, but David made it very clear that they were made of platinum and once they were sealed it would be near impossible to remove. Under any other circumstance they would be viewed as beautiful. But I knew they had hidden rings to be used for restraints. I knew their true purpose and I hated even looking at them. I hated how they felt on my skin.

Once I was dressed I went back into the bedroom. I sat in a chair facing the bed and watched Phillip. I wanted to kiss him on the cheek and thank him for everything he was doing for me. He was so handsome sitting there. It must be terribly uncomfortable though. I pulled my feet up into the chair and watched with curiosity. Why would a complete stranger help me? At least I wasn't trembling anymore. I actually felt relaxed and safe. Phillip began stirring, waking. He saw the bed was empty and almost became frantic before he saw me sitting across the room. I blushed when he saw me.

"Oh, you're awake all ready. How did you sleep?" He said as he stood and stretched.

"Much better, thank you for everything." I commented. I put my feet on the floor and leaned forward before I spoke. "My life has been controlled by men for so long it feels strange just being here. How do we get away from here, away from Chris and the danger he represents?" It felt very strange to have some semblance of control over my life.

"It will take time. If we make a move now Chris will suspect and we cannot allow him to know you're here. We should wait, let things calm down, and then we'll plan what to do." Phillip said as he came over to me. "I know how worried you must be and I wish I could take that away. All I can do is keep you safe now. I hope you can find comfort in that." He smiled as he grasped my shoulder. "Breakfast should be ready. I hope you are hungry, Maria is a wonderful cook." He took my hand; I stood and followed him to the dining room where breakfast was being set.

It would be like that every day with Phillip. He was gentle, caring and worked his way into my heart before I even suspected it. Everyday I learned more about him. Everyday brought more hope and I think Phillip saw how his presence and caring was helping me heal. I still didn't trust very well, but Phillip and Simon were different. When Phillip was away Simon never let me out of his sight. I dared not go outside, but the house was so big it didn't matter. There was an atrium in the center with a living garden and such exotic plants. Most of them I had never seen before, but a few I recognized. I remember how Phillip acted surprised when I told him about the bark on his Yucca tree curing headaches when you chewed it or made tea. I missed the outdoors. I would never take another moment of my life for granted. I realized just how much I had taken for granted and the regrets I had about it.

My feet healed well. He even tried to remove the bracelets, but everything he tried failed. It seemed David was right about them, they just might be permanent. I still hoped that one day we might find someone who could remove them. They must be worth a small fortune. David had said they were platinum. They were also covered with real diamonds. They were beautiful and handcrafted. I just wished they were gone. They were a sad reminder of what had happened, one that I could not get rid of. As the days passed I began to feel more comfortable. I think I was actually becoming happy. I smiled, laughed, enjoyed the time I spent with Phillip hearing about him, his house, his business. Then it happened. I was so unprepared for it. So off guard.

Phillip and I were watching a movie in his home theater room. It was a romantic comedy. He seemed to like those. I had not seen movies in so long I enjoyed whatever he chose to watch. We were sitting near each other on the most comfortable sofa I had ever experienced. The movie had gone off and we were discussing what we should do next. I didn't notice him pull closer to me. He reached his hand up and stroked his thumb across my lips, then across my cheek. He looked so handsome, yet there was something else in his eyes, on his face, but I could not place it. Then it happened. His face drew closer. I could feel his breath on my lips. He kissed my lips ever so gently and carefully. His lips were warm, inviting. I closed my eyes and felt myself returning that kiss. Then I pulled away, shocked with myself, surprised. I pursed my lips nervously and took his hands.

"Um, Phillip," I began. But he put a finger to my lips.

"No, I shouldn't have. You're not ready yet. I apologize for my forwardness." He seemed sad. He gave my hands a little squeeze. "I'll wait. Maybe someday." He said with a sparkle of hope in his eyes.

"It's all right. I don't know what to say. Please don't feel bad about it." I squeezed his hands back. I wasn't ready, but I was attracted to him. About that I could not lie to myself. I loved how he made me feel. He sat back and relaxed a little, still holding my hands.

"I shouldn't have rushed you." He whispered. "After everything you have overcome I should have waited." He sounded almost guilty.

"Phillip, I don't know that I will ever get past everything, but I do know this. I have never been happier or more secure than I am at this moment. I could never in a million years find someone as caring and sincere as you are. I also know I never want to let that go." I explained as I looked right into his eyes. I could get lost in those eyes forever and be happy there. "I have never felt this way about anyone before. It pains me that affection is difficult for me right now. Someday it will be better. But don't feel bad about the kiss. It was wonderful. It made me feel loved, cared for and desired. It made me happy." I took him in my arms and hugged him. It was all I could give right now. I wished I could give more. I wanted to. But healing took time and it had not been long enough yet.

He hugged me back then held me at arms length for a second. He pressed his lips to my forehead and made me a promise. "I don't care if I wait the rest of my life. I love you." It shocked me, yet I believed it.

"I don't know what to say." I exclaimed breathlessly. I think I loved him but to say it would be impossible. Could I love him so soon after..? Is it possible? I wanted to. I wanted to stay with him forever and make him happy, but how could I tell him that?