Daddy's Girl

Her arms grabbed me and she pulled herself hard against me. "Oh daddy, if she'd let you come, none of that ever would have happened! God, sometimes I hate her!"

Hate comes hard to me. Even after what Margot did to me I couldn't find it in my heart to really hate her. That ... and Jenny ... were the only reasons we still had any relationship at all. But right then I felt hatred. I felt my face get red and my grip on Jenny tightened. Not only had she deprived both me and Jenny of being together during her teen years, but in a way she had caused Jenny to lose a treasured possession. Her virginity. And beyond that, now she was still scarred emotionally over it.

I pulled her up to me, wrapped my arms tight around her and kissed her cheek. And just held her. And I could feel her relax against me in my arms as I whispered, "Honey, I know we've both missed so much over the last five years. I'm not a great teacher, but I know there would have been times when you could have used a little input from me. But that's over with now. We're not going to be separated like that any more. Fuck Margot!

"But baby, I have to tell you this and you need to think about it. Life goes on and there comes a time when you have to let go of things. I know what happened to you was awful, but you can't let it ruin the rest of your life. You're a beautiful, super-smart girl, one that I know can make men drool. And it won't take long for the right one to come along, so you need to be ready when he does. Having a companion who truly loves you is the best thing ever.

"Forget what happened, let the needs you feel guide you at least a little. You have to be careful, lots of guys will hit on you for the wrong reasons, but one will be attracted to you just for you. And if he is what you want, meets your standards, which I know are pretty high just because of how you conduct your own life, be open to him. It may not be the first one, sometimes we have to give up on things and move on, but it will happen honey. Look to your future, it will be wonderful. And the past can't hurt you any more."

She leaned back a little, looked me in the eyes and gave me a little smile. And didn't say anything for a minute. Then, "Oh daddy, if only ..." And she bit her lip.

I knew there were a lot of "if only's" and I could only hope that I'd helped a few of them and would be able to fix more if need be. We relaxed together for a while in front of the TV, then she said she was tired and needed to go to bed. We both got up, and before she headed up the stairs she wrapped her arms around me and just smiled, face to face, for a minute. Then she leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. It seemed like she was reluctant to let go and she pressed herself against me. And when she finally said, "Night dad!" she kissed me again. On the lips. Before trotting up the stairs with a smiling glance back at me.

I sat back down and pondered. I was getting strange messages from Jenny. But I was getting even stranger ones from my own body. When she held me like that and kissed me I felt a response I didn't understand and was repulsed by. Arousal. Just a little, but undeniably there.

Of course, after having been separated for five years, and then suddenly being together again and realizing how much we had missed each other ... and how much we loved each other ... It was probably natural to feel overflowing emotions. But I loved her as a father, not a lover! And yet ... It was long enough that memories of our daily lives together had dimmed a little. And where I knew a little girl before, barely a teenager, she was now a grown woman, more beautiful and sexy than it seemed she gave herself credit for. And certainly more than any woman I'd ever been with.

And as for Jenny, one moment she was still very much my little girl and the next, a woman, touching me and acting in a very grown up way! Maybe it was my imagination or my fault. But certainly not, when she displayed her almost naked body to me at the pool, after insisting that I cover her with the lotion. Did she know what the touching might do, to me, and maybe, to her? It seemed to me she was truly showing herself off to me as the beautiful woman she was.

And there were the kisses. Seemingly innocent but obviously out of place. Since I knew now about the porn and the urges she'd been having I knew she had adult feelings, even if little experience. I knew she understood the attraction and relationship of the sexes. My body reacted to her as it would with any woman. And I had a feeling she knew it; I wondered if she wanted it. It almost seemed she was trying to provoke it. But worst of all were the feelings for her I knew I shouldn't have. And I couldn't bear the thought of separating from her again. Could I handle it?

It was late, and I hadn't the slightest interest in the TV, my confused thoughts now having taken control. So in a few minutes I headed off to bed too, wondering if there was any chance I could sleep and make them go away.

My mind was still going in circles at first, but at last I began to nod off. And then I heard it again, an almost indefinable noise that seemed to come from her room. Perhaps just the bed creaking. But in a few moments I was relieved to hear the bathroom door close. And very quickly, the sound of water; she was taking a shower. It seemed a bit odd in the middle of the night, but nothing of concern. And the soft muffled rush of the water almost put me to sleep. In fact, I didn't even notice when it stopped.

But my eyes popped open when I heard the latch on my door. And the slow creak as it opened. Oh fuck! This time she was not so quiet as she slowly walked to my bed, her steps were purposeful. And she was breathing deeply, perhaps nervously. And I heard a loud rustle of the sheet, felt it move, before her weight settled on the mattress.

I was holding my breath. I didn't know what to do. Play "dead" again? Ask her what she wanted? What she was doing? Just tell her to go back to her bed? Oh god! But most of that became beside the point when I felt something brush against my back. She was under the sheet with me! And I had only my undershorts on, as always, in summer.

She moved closer relentlessly, and soon she was pressing herself against my back. And it was obvious now, she was naked or nearly so! I could feel her hardened nipples against my skin. But worse than any of that, I was responding to her touch. I felt a tightening in my groin and in moments, I was hard! As a rock! I wanted to cry. I wanted to yell at her. But I was so conflicted I couldn't make a sound or move a muscle. And she had to know that by now I was awake.

And then she put an arm over me and her hand against my chest, and pulled herself tight against me. I gasped. Loudly! "Oh god honey, what are you doing?

"Daddy, I just want to be with you."

"Baby, you know this isn't right. We can't be together like this. Suppose you mother knew?"

"Daddy! I don't give a damn what she'd think! She's the one that's kept us apart all these years!" But then she spoke in a quiet voice, almost whispering in my ear. "But no one else knows or ever will. It's just us."

We were both silent for minutes, and I lay still. If I could have thought of anything that would matter I'd have said it. But I had no idea what to say, or do. I should have gotten up. Or pushed her away. I couldn't do it to her. And the pole painfully tenting my shorts, totally against my will, was clouding my mind. I could hardly think at all. And I still didn't move a muscle.

And then I felt her hand slide lightly across my chest and down my arm. And her lips brushed my back, just below my neck. Her voice was so quiet I could barely hear. "Daddy, I love the feel of you touching me. I loved it when you put the lotion on me. I never expected it. But it did something. It was a nice warm feeling, and yet I was shivering inside." Again, long silence.

"I noticed it first when I kissed your cheek. And my breast brushed against your chest. Daddy, I never felt anything like that before! It wasn't just a touch. It was fire! I could hardly pull away from you!"

This was hard, but I had to say it, and I felt like a hypocrite because of my own feelings at that moment. "Baby, I know what you're feeling. They're adult feelings, and they would be normal between lovers. But we aren't lovers and we can't be. God honey, I'm your father, not your boyfriend!"

Another long silence, and she didn't move. Then she almost broke my heart. "Daddy, you've been like a father to me all these years, the best father I could have. Even the years we've been apart, the memory of how you guided me and loved me kept me going."

When she spoke again it sounded like she was crying. "But daddy, you're not my father! Much as I would love it if you were, you aren't and never will be! And if anyone ever questions that our DNA will tell the truth, and you know it. Maybe mom was right. It's time I call you Tom. The only real relationship we have is as a man and a woman, now that I'm grown." Silence again.

Now I couldn't speak even if I'd known what to say. Because I was choking. Tears were welling up in my eyes and I was trying desperately not to sob. All our years together as father and daughter and now she was throwing that away because she was feeling something else. I was distraught. The only good thing was, any feelings of desire for her were suddenly gone, along with the erection. I couldn't hold it back. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and I began to sniffle.

"Daddy daddy, please don't do that! What's wrong? I never meant to hurt you, I never would do that!"

I tried to get it together. I knew she didn't want to hurt me and I didn't want to hurt her. But I was still shocked and upset by what she said. "Jenny, how can you just forget about all our years together as a family? You are the daughter I'd have dreamed of having, and now I think of you and love you that way. I don't want to throw that all away, even though you've grown up more beautiful than I could have imagined. Besides, I'm more than twice your age! Compared to you I'm an old man.

"Oh dad. I'm sorry, because you're right ... about our life together and our relationship. And you'll always be my daddy, I don't want to call you Tom; that was stupid. But daddy, I feel things for you. I have for a long time.

"I told you about my dreams. But there were others. Daddy I dreamt about seeing you and mom in bed. But the dreams were strange. With other dreams I was always the person seeing what was happening, feeling the emotions. But with those, it was like I was mom! I could almost feel your body pressing against me. Of course, for a while I didn't really know what you were doing; WE were doing. But even so it excited me. And later, after mom and I left here, I learned of course, and then I got aroused, over and over. Sometimes almost every night. And then I'd wake up and my panties would be wet, my hands between my legs!

"It wasn't until I went to college that I saw porn ... on a roommate's laptop. And then I understood what I'd been feeling! I was shocked by what I saw at first, but it turned me on ... in fact I was on fire! And all the dreams made sense. It wasn't mom with you. It was me! And after that I'd lie awake at night, rubbing myself until I exploded, and every time I ended up crying, "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" muffled against my pillow. Daddy, it's been like that for three years!"

For a while she was quiet after that, and I hated myself, but I began to feel that reaction to her again, after hearing that I had been the focus of all her erotic thoughts. And I couldn't imagine what I could say to that. I knew she wasn't lying, and if it happened it happened, it was real and I couldn't change it. But until this week, until she'd started it, I had never had an erotic thought about her. And I was distraught that now I couldn't keep them out of my head.

She was still laying against me, and now she was holding my hand in hers. Tightly. And then she moved. And didn't stop. Jeezus Christ, she was rubbing against me, very slowly, very lightly. And her nipples were hard again and dragging across the thin skin of my back. It wasn't that it did anything for me directly, although the memory of seeing her beautiful breasts made me shudder, but I knew it was intentional, and what it might be doing to her. And when I heard a little moan that was almost a whimper I knew I was right.

I could have stopped it. Just pull away, get out of bed. I didn't have to be mean or harsh with her. But then what? The room would be full of question marks. I didn't move a muscle. Even when she lifted a leg and put it over my hip, then hooked her foot against my leg so she could pull herself against me tighter. And now I could feel her body undulate as she moved just a little faster and harder against me. My god, she was using my body to masturbate! And once again I was hard as a rock!

"Jenny, please don't."

"Daddy. Please!" It came out as a squeaky whimper.

"I can't Jenny. We can't. It just isn't right."

She continued to move, in silence, then, "Daddy, I love you daddy!"

Suddenly she pulled her hand away from mine, then wrapped her arm around me, her palm against my chest, and pulled us tightly together. And she shifted slightly, pushing up a little until I knew her pussy was pressing against my hip, and she was almost lying on me. Her hips began to rock, more urgently now, grinding against me.

"Oh god, Jenny! No!"

She didn't speak, but now her breathing was becoming deep and fast, almost panting. And she began to whimper and cry in time with her movements. And suddenly I realized, I could smell her arousal! She wasn't going to stop!

I was shaking. I was mortified. But I couldn't deny my arousal. It was so easy to forget it was Jenny. Because it was a grown woman, not a little girl, and she had abandoned all restraint, wanting me, taking what she could get and probably imagining her dreams, what she had seen between me and Margot and turning it into her and me.

She was beginning to sweat, and her body against mine was slippery now, smooth, except for those rough hard nipples grating against my skin. She was grinding against my shorts, but even so I began to feel warmth. And moisture. Despite myself my nostrils flared as I sucked in her essence, which had the effect of an aphrodisiac on me. And I couldn't stifle the moan as my hips moved and my straining cock rubbed against my boxer briefs.

She heard me and it seemed to energize her. Now she knew she was having an effect on me too, and suddenly she began to rock, hard, with total abandon, letting her leg fall away, opening herself wide and grinding against my hip. I was shuddering now, and I grabbed handfuls of the sheet, steadying myself against her onslaught.

She moved faster and faster, making the bed rock and creak, and she began to cry little high pitched squeaks in time with the thrusting of her hips. Her scent was filling the room like an erotic perfume. And suddenly her arm tightened around me like a vise, and she yelled, "Oh daddy, daddyyyyyyyyyy!" and squealed, over and over, as her hips moved in slow motion, grinding, mashed hard against me. And I felt wetness running down over me.

And it was then I realized, I was whimpering too, and my hips were pumping, totally against my will, wanting, needing, demanding. The urge to touch myself was almost overwhelming, but I managed to avoid that, gritting my teeth. And in frustration I smashed my fist into the mattress.

She gasped at that, and at last, slid off and away from me, lying behind me on the bed, still panting quietly.

"Oh god, Jenny, what have you done? What have we done?"

"Daddy, my panties are soaking wet!" I hadn't even been sure she was wearing them.

She kicked the last of the sheet away, and when I heard her moving I knew she was taking them off. And then I felt her hand on my back, sliding up and down, rubbing gently.

"Oh daddy, I don't want you to be mad. I love you! Please daddy!" And she put her hand on my shoulder and tugged. She wanted me to turn to her.

Jenny! God Jenny! Oh ..."

With her scent and my arousal and the vivid memory of what had just happened I couldn't think clearly. I rolled onto my back. And belatedly, reached down and quickly pulled the sheet to my waist, trying to hide my obvious erection from her, even though in the dark she probably couldn't have seen it anyway.

And she did what I knew she would do. She pushed up from her back and slid against me again. But this time she didn't stop. And I felt her nipples, still rock hard, slide across my chest until I could feel her breath on my cheek. And then she kissed me.

At first it was a little girl's kiss. Soft, gentle, her lips lightly pressing on mine. But she stopped for a moment; lifted her head. And when she kissed me again her lips were moist; she had licked them. And this time she pressed harder and her lips were moving against mine, grinding lightly, undulating.

Then I felt her hand against my cheek, brushing it softly. I couldn't stand it, and a moan escaped my lips, and the moment it did the tip of her tongue swiped across them. I gasped and turned my head away from her. "Oh god Jenny, what are you doing? You have to stop this n ..."

Her hand pulled my head back towards her and her lips crushed against mine. But now they were demanding -- and open. And her tongue pushed and pushed until I yielded, and then it slipped softly into my mouth. I was lost.

She moaned, the sound heavy with need, and her hand moved from my head to my shoulder, holding me down as her mouth had its way with mine. I didn't even know how it happened, but my tongue met hers and they dueled, touching, brushing, playing, grinding together. And soon both of us were whimpering.

Her hand moved from my shoulder and began sliding slowly up and down my body. I lifted my hand to stop her, but only succeeded in covering hers, and they moved together. Her whole body was in motion now, pressing against me, her soft skin caressing mine. I was shaking -- hard -- and I could feel her shudder too. It was so many things, all combined; fear, guilt, need, almost unbridled desire. And our bodies felt like they were on fire against each other.

It was long minutes before she finally relented, gently broke off the kiss and lifted her head. And both of us were panting. She whispered, so softly that only the dead silence in the room allowed me to hear it, "Daddy, I love you."

And stupidly, my mind totally gone, I whispered back, "Kitten, I love you too." And she kissed me again, before I could think of a way to take it back.

But now she was animated, her mouth greedily devouring mine, and she quickly slipped a leg between mine, pulling her body up until it was almost on top of me, her breasts pressing hard against my chest, the nipples boring holes. Using both hands she grasped my arms above the elbows and used them to move back and forth against me, moaning into my mouth.

Her inner thigh was pressed against mine and she began to move her leg, Her unbearably soft skin brushing mine, over and over. And then I felt it. And so did she. Her upper thigh pressed down on my aching cock, now beyond rock hard and fighting to be free. I jumped and groaned loudly and she gasped, but realizing what she'd done, she only pressed harder and moved faster. Now the focal point for both of us was that iron bulge in my briefs, and she lifted her head and we stared at each other in the darkness.

"Daddy, please, I need you." Her breath was coming in gasps and she never stopped moving. "Show me daddy, teach me how to be a woman. I need to know what I saw between you and mom, in the good days before she ..."

"Oh my god, Jenny, NO!" Her words brought me back from my erotic trance; my brain moved back to my skull from between my legs. I reached up and put my hands on her shoulders and tried to push her away. But she used her grip on my arms to resist, and I couldn't bear the thought of hurting her, and in the end, she won. "Jenny, we have to stop! We HAVE to!" I knew now it was not just her. I had been complicit in letting things get this far.