In the Wake of That Night

"Sure. Listen... I'll meet you in the kitchen."

Bill gave Pat a nod.

The two women watched the doctor leave as Patrick came to the bed. He reached for Lana's hand under the covers and stroked it. "We love you, Lana. I know we're still strangers to you, but we love you. We've loved you since before you were born. We're here for you, so... don't worry about anything. Just get some sleep. Okay?"

More tears welled up. Lana again could only nod. Her guilt burgeoned once again. She didn't deserve their love or concern.

Patrick smiled. "May I kiss my granddaughter's head?"

Once more she nodded.

Patrick leaned forward and gave her hairline a warm caress. "Go to sleep soon." He turned and exited the room, waiting until he was in the hallway to wipe his eyes.

Lana started feeling the sedative. "I'm... I'm getting sleepy I think." Her eyes blinked and then closed. She felt Maureen sit near the headboard, then her grandmother's hand began gently stroking her temple and side of her head. Lana took a slow, deep breath.

Maureen whispered, "Just go to sleep, sweetheart."

Lana felt herself continue taking slow deep breaths. With each one more and more of the tension in her body seemed to evaporate as well as her fears and guilt. She heard a very soft, humming melody. A distant memory started to surface. She was in bed, Mom was sitting next to her stroking the side of her head... no, it was... it had been Gramma. She had been humming to her and would smile at her whenever Lana opened her sleepy eyes to make sure Gramma was still there. She had felt so relaxed, so sleepy, so warm and good. Lana remembered she thought the soothing, soft, humming song was traveling though her little body all the way down to her toes.

Lana's whisper was barely audible, "I... 'member... Gramma... whe... you..." Lana took another deep breath, sighed, then drifted into sleep.

Tears ran down Maureen's cheeks at Lana saying 'Gramma.' She continued gently stroking Lana's hair and softly humming for the next five minutes, even though she knew her granddaughter was already asleep. She didn't want to leave her, but had to speak with the doctor. She knew she'd return to the room as soon as they finished their conversation.

Patrick and Bill had moved from the kitchen to the family area. Bill was in a chair, Patrick on the couch. He saw his wife. He motioned with his hand. "We're over here, honey." He looked at her bare legs. Bill was fifteen years younger than her but she was still a very attractive woman, especially her legs. The nightshirt T was almost to her knees, but there were slits to her mid thighs on both sides. She sat next to him. He put his arm around her for a couple reasons, only one being to comfort her.

Maureen's eyebrows rose. "What should we do for her, Bill?"

"I'll get to that. Firstly, she said it was all right for me to discuss this with you, just so you know that. She's taking an anti-depressant med, nothing out of the ordinary, but it's a fairly high dosage. She told me she's been having trouble sleeping for nine months, but the bottle script is only five months old. Do you know if she was on some other anti-depressant nine months ago?"

Patrick shook his head but Maureen spoke, "No, we don't know."

"She said she was getting therapy for PTSD. I didn't want to chance upsetting her by asking about it. Do you know what the trauma was?"

Maureen glanced at Patrick. He nodded. She looked at Bill. "My... we just learned my daughter's husband was mur... was killed in their house. Lana was there and saw it happen. That was five months ago."

"That would explain the PTSD, and the med script. My sympathies on your son-in-law."

Patrick looked at his wife. Maureen now gave him a nod. His face turned to the doctor again. "Bill, we didn't know him, and... we don't really know Lana. Our daughter... well, we haven't been in contact with her for... a long time, nearly sixteen years. We tried to locate them for years but failed. Lana called us recently. We don't know... all the details about the trauma nor much else about her. We just reunited with Lana this af... well, it would be yesterday now, considering it's almost dawn."

"Oh... ahhh... Where does she live?"

"Up north, suburbia, outside Chicago."

"When will she be going back home?"

Patrick and Maureen looked at each other for five seconds. Maureen said what they were both thinking. "I think she's going to be staying with us for... for quite a while."

"In that case..." Bill leaned down and pulled out his script pad from his bag. He wrote a name and number on it then ripped off the page. He stood and stepped towards the couch. He handed it to Maureen. "Sharon Wilson. She's on the Med School faculty and on staff at the Med Center. Psychiatrist. Best we have around here for PTSD, done some good work with Iraqi vets, published a good paper on it. I'll call her, tell her I need a consult, that Lana or you will be calling for an appointment. I think Lana should see her. From what Lana said, it seemed the therapy she was getting wasn't the best, just county clinic quality, or... she wasn't really opening up in therapy, which I guess could have been the therapist's fault, but... have her see Sharon. If she doesn't take on Lana, I'm sure she'll steer her to someone good."

Maureen read the scribbled name and number to be sure she could. She looked at the doctor. "Is there anything else we should do? Any tests or anything she might need?"

"I only did a cursory exam but she appears to be physically healthy. Sharon will probably have her get a full physical and blood work up. I'm not sure if she'd want any other tests, but I doubt it. Before then, if Lana wants to talk, listen. I wouldn't push her to express herself about anything though. She should continue the anti-depressant. Sharon will make the decision about any meds. And... call me if there's another episode, but... I have to tell you now, I'd recommend taking her to the hospital. This isn't my area of expertise. I'll call you this evening, see how she's doing. Do either of you have any other questions?" He glanced at Pat, then back to Maureen.

"No." She looked at Patrick. "Honey? Do you have any?"

"No." He faced the doctor. "Thanks a lot, Bill. Sorry we had to get you out of bed." Patrick started to stand.

Maureen spoke, "Yes, Bill, thank you so much. She... she just plain refused to go the ER and... and we knew we could count on you."

"No problem, Maureen, and people can count on me because of this guy." He smiled and gave Patrick's shoulder a grip and shake.

"It wasn't your mistake, Bill. I just defended the truth, that's all." Patrick was glad it was. It was why he had taken the case. The plaintiff got some money, in essence his legal costs, but the punitive was nil. Bill's insurance premiums did go up though. The patient had a suit against the Med Center that was still in litigation. He hoped the guy screwed the Center, it had been a computerized medical chart foul up. The guy had been given the wrong quantity of some medication. He nearly died and had numerous debilitating side effects for over a year, and still had some ongoing if he was telling the truth. Bill had told him it probably was true.

Patrick's thoughts switched to his daughter. Since Lana had told them about Barb being in prison, he had been constantly wondering why she hadn't called him as soon as the homicide happened. It didn't matter his forte wasn't criminal law. Sometimes he thought advocating malpractice suits was close to criminal. He was usually with the plaintiff, not defending. He never took on many cases, his real strength was teaching law, not practicing it, although his win percentage was over 90%. Most of his clients were through the free law clinic in St. Louis. He never took the usual percentage most lawyers did, in fact it was far below the usual, if any at all. The clients who were in dire financial straights, he didn't take more than the reimbursement cost of the additional medical tests, and second opinions for the law clinic, although sometimes he and Maureen would front the money if the clinic happened to be low on funds.

Maureen stood. "I'm going to sit with her. Thank you, Bill."

"She'll be out for hours. You and Pat should get some sleep too."

"Well... goodnight, or... I guess good morning."

Bill smiled at the attractive middle aged woman. "Get some rest, then have a good day, Maureen." He wondered exactly how old she was. A nineteen year old granddaughter didn't quite seem possible.

"Thanks, you too. Um... if you'd like breakfast I could make it for you or..." She looked at her husband and raised her eyebrows. "Patrick can make it for you."

Pat forced a smile. "Yeah, no problem, Bill. I always do whatever the boss orders."

Bill smiled. "Both of you get some sleep. And..." He picked up his bag, then glanced at his watch. "I'll get breakfast at the Med Center."

"All right. Bye, Bill." She started to Lana's room. She was glad it had only taken five seconds non-verbal discussion with Patrick to decide Lana was now living with them.

Patrick headed towards the front door. "I'll walk you out, Bill. And speaking of bill, just send it to us here, not my campus office. I may not be in much the next month or so."

"There won't be a bill on this. I'll see if Sharon can give Lana some sort of discount too. I mean... she's not on your med insurance, is she?"

"No, at least not at this point."

"She doesn't go to school here? No, university student insurance?"

Patrick smiled. "No, at least not at this point." He opened the front door.

Maureen gently kissed Lana's forehead, then fussed with the bed covers. She wanted to sit and stroke Lana's hair and hum a song as she had done when she was a baby, but didn't want to chance waking her. She quietly moved the upholstered chair close to the bed so she could watch Lana. She went to the guest bath and removed the wall night light, then returned to the chair and plugged it into a nearby outlet. No direct light fell on Lana's face. She closed the bedroom door to block the hall light, got an afghan from the bottom drawer of the dresser, then finally sat in the upholstered chair.

Her eyes welled up yet again. How many tears had she shed over Barb and Lana the past sixteen years? How many gallons? How many hours of depression, anguish, and guilt? How many hours of therapy? She knew before going into it, they had done nothing wrong except for the handling of it after they caught Barb drunk and asleep, naked with some boy, and Lana a filthy mess wandering around the house. She wondered what Lana would think and feel when she and Patrick finally told her all the details. Should they tell her every detail? Maybe she should ask Dr. Wilson about that.

Her tears and thoughts were interrupted with sounds on the basement stairs. What's he doing now? She glanced at the door, then looked at Lana. He better not wake her! She rose and fussed with the bedding again, then went into the hall, silently closing the door behind her. As she headed to the basement door she heard it open and Patrick grunting. She picked up her pace. She turned towards the kitchen she saw him sliding the twin mattress on its edge. The one they had stored in the basement. Her voice was half whisper, "Patrick, what are you doing?"

Pat kept pulling as his head swiveled around. "You need to sleep and I know you're not going to leave Lana alone so... I'm bringing this up. Can you give me a hand getting it through the bedroom door?"

Maureen's heart swelled with love. He knew her so well. She went straight to Patrick and wrapped her arms around him from behind, hugging him fiercely. "I love you, Pat."

"I love you too, honey, but... I forgot how unwieldy this damn mattress is. Think you could hug me from the other end of it."

Maureen tightened her arms around him. She knew he wasn't trying to be funny. In Patrick's way his silly joke was him trying to give her hope and confidence, he was saying that he believed everything was going to be all right, somehow Lana, and Barb, all the problems would be cured and everything would finally be all right. "You're a good husband, father, and grandfather, Patrick."

"Thank you, now... get the other end."

"Yes, sir."

In the hallway, Patrick realized it was easier to handle by himself holding the mattress vertically. They silently moved a few pieces of furniture in the bedroom, then they brought the mattress in, quietly laying it on the floor near the bed, leaving enough space for Lana to stand if she got off on that side. The night light would be on so she wouldn't stumble over Maureen. Patrick brought in pillows, linen, and a blanket, then helped Maureen put the sheets on. Patrick actually tucked Maureen in.

He gave her a soft kiss, then whispered, "Maybe I should stay and sleep in the chair."

"Patrick, you should go to bed. I... I know it may be silly for me to be in here, but... I'm so worried about her."

"So am I."

"I know you are, but you have to get some good sleep. We... we're going to need it tomorrow, I mean, today. We have to take care of Lana and... you and I have to talk about how and when to tell her more details about everything, why Barb left with her, how we tried to find them, all of it. We shouldn't say more now, unless she asks. And we have to somehow make her see the logic about staying with us. What... what if she doesn't want to? Bill said that clinic therapy wasn't very good. How could we convince her? Oh god... I don't know what we could say. I can't bare to think of her on her own, especially now, dealing with so much."

Patrick sighed then his hand rubbed his face. He looked over at Lana for a few seconds, then at his wife. "Yeah, you're right. I mean about me getting some sleep. I'll go back to bed. And... and don't worry about convincing her, we'll... maybe convincing her won't be a problem. Start thinking positively. I'm going to."

Maureen took a deep breath. "Yes. Yes, you're right. Thanks for saying that, sweetheart."

Pat smiled softly.

Maureen whispered, "What?"

"You, illuminated by a night light, the mattress on the floor. Brings back memories. Our college days."

"In college I fell in love with you, Patrick, and I'm still in love with you." Her eyes welled once more. "I... I want our family back together again." Her face tensed. She suddenly felt herself on the verge of hysterical crying.

Patrick saw how upset Maureen was. "I do too, sweetheart. I do too." He leaned down and gave Maureen another kiss. "We've hoped all these years, no reason to give that up now. Everything is going to work out, honey. Believe that. I do and you should."

She stared into his eyes and suddenly did. "I do."

He kissed her cheek. "Good. Wake me if you or Lana need anything."

Once again Patrick had helped calm her. "I will, honey. Get some sleep."

"You too." As he rose from the floor he almost grunted but stifled it. At the door he stopped to take one more look at his granddaughter, then his wife. He gave her a smile, then quietly left the room, leaving the door half open behind him. He turned off the hall light before entering the master bedroom and getting into bed. He felt exhausted.

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(A sequel is planned. Readers' comments and feedbacks are invited. A_Satori)

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