Living as Four Bodies and One Mind

All the looks and sights that I had been exchanging with her, all her laughs at my jokes -- they would all find their meaning tomorrow.

Anyway, such like thoughts kept me up all night and by saturday morning and in the morning, I was somewhat exhausted from the extreme anticipation. I'd not felt so tense in my entire life, even on the night before I got married.

I got up, trying not to show too much excitement to my wife. Contrary to my custom on holidays, I had a nice bath in the morning and put on some perfume, careful not to show my wife what I was up to.

She too took a bath, and I urged her to slap on some perfume. 'why do you want me to put on perfume?' she asked, slightly suspicious.

She still remembered my pleadings with her earlier this week to get in on the foursome business very clearly. I had to finally reassure her that nothing was on the cards before she'd agree to go to appu's house on saturday.

Anyway, I sprayed on some deo on her when it didn't look like she'd put on some herself. Not that appu would mind. Appu had been one of the hornier kids at school, and we've had group jerk-off sessions when were at high school. He was always the first to whip out his instrument and go to work, as we surreptitiously watched blue-films at a friend's place.

It was 12 when we arrived. I don't know if it is my imagination, but sara was glowing. Even appu had shaved and was wearing nice, ironed clothes, rather odd for a saturday.

Sara was wearing a pink t-shirt and jeans. I noticed for the first time that her breasts seemed to have grown. Perhaps it was just the tight t-shirt.

If she was abashed, she did a good job of hiding it.

The two seemed like they were welcoming the president of India to their house. As instructed, two of the sofa chairs and anything else that could be used to sit on had been removed. My wife, as was her custom, plonked herself on the divan, laying my sleeping kid out on it. Normally, I'd go for one of the sofa-chairs, but they were missing.

The atmosphere was festive. Both seemed overflowing with energy and enthusiasm. Perhaps they were just too nervous.

For the first time, I felt sara actually acknowledged me in a straighforward fashion. Till now, the maximum i've got from her have been some sly glances, making sure appu was not looking. Even then, the glances were very short, just enough to let me know that she'd noticed me. Perhaps she too was wary of letting me look into her eyes for too long.

Today, it was different. 'sit Sumon' she said, pointing to the sofa, and promptly set herself down on it. I immediately felt a tingling in the loins - not because of what she said, but the simple fact that this was the first time that she was really talking to me without looking at her husband for feedback. She seemed a totally different person, almost naughty, and the junior me seemed to recognize that.

I sat down and she started off with 'how was traffic etc..' She was slightly hyper. She was laughing more than usual, and looked at me eagerly as she asked all sorts of totally irrelevant questions. I too was in a different world, as if I was meeting a long lost lover. My brain must have been swimming in hormones.

I looked back and saw appu fussing over my kid. He had placed himself on the divan, in front of my wife and beside the sleeping child. He was patting my son on his cheek and was saying things like 'he's grown so much in a week' and all that.

My wife was also focused on him, partly because he kept on asking her questions. Normally, my wife would have been looking at me to figure out what I was up to. This time, appu played his cards perfectly and kept her engaged. He even went inside and got a plate of biscuits and placed it before her. Then he went in again and this time, came with four glasses of fizzy transparent water.

He gave both of us one each, since we were seated in front, and then took the remaining to my wife. She said 'oh, it's soft drinks'. He said 'why, you don't have..' 'not that I don't have..' 'it's fine, one glass of soft drink is not going to kill you or anything,' he said.

I was surprised by the way he was behaving. Normally, he would tinker around on his computer instead of playing a host. But this time, he was going hammer and tongs after my woman. What a difference, the chance getting inside a woman's pants makes in a man's perspective.

I remembered an observation one of my friends makes - beauty is availability multiplied by looks. Even if a woman is modest in her looks, if she's readily available, her beauty becomes multiplied by several times to a man.

Both me and sara were watching eagerly to see if she'd drink the vodka-mountain dew combination. Since my wife has never taken alchohol, and rarely drinks mountain dew, I was sure she couldn't tell if anything was mixed. Hopefully they'd mixed only an inkling of the vodka in it, or my wife will surely figure out something's amiss.

if she's like me, a little vodka will help her loosen up, put her at ease and make her relaxed and easy going. She would simply feel happy, and be happy about it. More, and she'd recognize that she's intoxicated.

She took the glass from him and held it in her hand. 'Don't let the fizz go out, have it,' he said.

She laughed, more to hide her discomfort, then took a small sip, and lowered the glass.

Meanwhile sara had taken two or three sips and was about to put down the glass on the sofa, between us. I put my hand on the glass too, touching her fingers, on the pretext of making sure the glass did not overturn. She did not pull her hand back.

Because of the way the sofa was placed (with its back to the divan), my wife or appu could not see what was going on with the glass. I held the glass too, for a minute, as we continued to make some sort of conversation.

Slowly I moved my hand along her wrist and sort of cuddled/patted her hand. My hard on was now in full force.

I realized that the excitement and thrill of an action was not dependent on how 'ground breaking' it was by itself, but on the how ground breaking it was relative to the circumstances. Here I was, sitting two feet away from appu, holding his wife's hand like a lover. That was an unbelievable thrill. I had never done pda, and this was quite heady for me.

Initially, when I put my hand on hers, she looked at the glass. When I started moving my fingers along hers, she slowly looked up -- a mix of curiosity, shyness, welcome and surprise.

I wanted to look back to see how things were going with appu and my wife, but I also wanted to give them privacy. So I resisted the impulse to look back and tried to think of more things to ask sara and keep the conversation moving.

She fleetingly looked at my pants.. It was obvious there was something going on there. She took the glass up for one more sip and moved slightly closer to me in one motion. This time, she put her glass on her jeans, on her right thigh.

While talking, I put my left hand on her right thigh, in front of the glass. Since she did not show any response, I started applying slight pressure on her thigh, over the jeans. She didn't mind again.

She raised the glass again to take one more sip. I took the opportunity to slide my hand up on her jeans, until it was wedged between both of her legs. She adjusted her position a bit, allowing me to put by hand in a bit deeper.

She was very warm, almost hot in there. I wished I had my right hand there, it would have been better. I tried moved my hand up a bit and placed it on her belly, under the t-shirt. It was warm, and soft.

She caught her breath, and seemed to have lost track of what she was saying. Her breathing was slightly, almost imperceptibly faster.

Suddenly, I was distracted by a loud laughter from the 'back benches', from my wife, as it turned out.

I turned around and she looked at me and said, ' really, you were such naughty boys at school, weren't you'. I was moderately embarrassed, perhaps because I saw my wife laughing so much at someone else's joke and also because I wasn't sure which of our old time secrets appu had just spilled to advance his agenda.

She seemed very happy. I was seeing her like that after a long time. I'd seen her like that in the months after our marriage, when she'd laugh and talk a lot. I looked at her glass, it was half empty. So was appu's.

Suddenly another noise came from one of the two interior rooms -- sara's little girl had woken up. 'Sara..' appu said, and sara went inside to get the baby girl.

I got up and went outside to the corridor/balcony. Sara also followed, with the kid.

I was standing against the railing, looking out onto the next building. Opposite was a flat, but there was no one outside on their corridor. She came and stood next to me, and placed her hand on my hand, on the railing.

I was tempted to put my arm around her, but I realized that at any time, someone can come from any of the other flats that also opened on to the same corridor.

Instead, I decided to eye-fondle her. Turning to her, I looked at her breasts, openly, defiantly, feeling no shame. I would never think of doing something like that ever in normal life. I never looked at women's assets, I always felt embarrassed. I don't know what got into me at that instant.

Then I looked at her face, she was looking at me, smiling that smile of hers, and I realized what heaven meant. I realized that I'd never fallen in love with my wife, ever. I felt young again. I remembered how I used to feel when I used to be in love, in college.

I wished life would stay still at that moment, so that I could savour it. After a while, she said she had to feed the baby and was going in.

She went in. I considered if I should follow her. I decided not to, for various reasons, including not wanting to destroy my wife and appu's privacy.

I walked down to the ground, roamed around the building once.. And after about 10 minutes, came back. I made sure my approach was clearly audible, and after hesitating a bit, walked in.. Appu was holding my wife's hand in his hand, he seemed to be reading her palm or something.

My wife looked up at me like someone eating a feast would look at an approaching stray dog - I could see slight anger in her eyes. She seemed to be asking me why I needed to barge in now of all times. Her cheeks were totally flushed, probably from all the excitement and laughing.

Perhaps for the first time since our marriage, I felt like an outsider, out of place. Like I was not welcome with her. For a minute, I was confused. I wondered if i'd made the right choice. Would I be able to go through with this? this wasn't as simple as i'd thought initially. I still felt a sense of ownership over her, and I wondered if she'd be able to see me in a similar position -- especially since she was much more sentimental than I was.

i'd thought whatever we did, we should do in the same room, all four of us -- one the same bed. That, perhaps, has to be re-evaluated, if this is how it felt.

Suddenly, she pulled out her hand from appu's grip and asked me where I was, almost angry. Perhaps she was angry at herself, for letting appu touch her.

I said 'just roaming'. I felt she might burst into tears next moment. This wasn't going as intended, I thought.

I looked at her glass, it was empty.

Meanwhile, sara came out and said 'everybody ready for lunch.' She bustled off to the dining area, to set up the lunch. My wife too joined in. Though it was my own idea, I just couldn't look at appu immediately. I felt uncomfortable, as if he was suddenly a competitor I must destroy.

I was confused. I sat on the sofa and took hold of the TV remote, trying to focus on sara as she scurried about setting up the dinner.

END OF PART 3

Living as four bodies and one mind - a tale of love and wife swapping PART 4 I thought about what is the best way to go forward. I mean, if I felt uncomfortable initially, would my wife be able to take it, or would she suffer what people call emotional trauma? I was sure I did not want her to do something if she hated it. I was as keen on her (and appu's) enjoyment as I was on mine.

If she did not enjoy it, what is the point? for that, I realized she needed to be made more open.

'what should we do?' appu asked, when we were sitting at nearby restaurant, while my his wife 'worked on' mine.

'see, there are two things here - one, guilt. Two - emotional trauma from seeing someone you love have sex with someone else. We need to get over both these things' I said.

'that is why I said initially that we should not have sex in the same room' appu said.

'yeah, but I thought it would make it easier for her and for your wife, if the husband was nearby. They would not get scared,' I said.

'yeah, but they would also see you making out with other women," he said.

I thought about it. The original reason for planning a same-room sex was that I didn't want to leave my naked wife alone in a room with a naked man. What if he forced her to do things she didn't like, like anal? I had to be careful, though I knew appu for long, I still didn't want to take that chance.

I thought they could be alone later on, when they are more comfortable.

So I said, 'we'll see.'

'so what do we do today?' appu asked.

'let's do one thing -- the idea is to break the ice. And we need to take one step at a time. So let's break the ice today with by having sex with our own wives in front of each other.'

'that's boring,' appu said, looking very disappointed. 'i mean, I can sleep with her anytime I want.'

'i know, but we need to go slow on this. If it works fine, we'll come back tomorrow, on sunday, and get more adventurous,' I said.

'ok,' he said, looking slightly more relieved. 'but what can be the impulse to start things off,' he asked.

'well, you have lots of porn, pick something indian, with a good story,' I said.

'yeah, I have one a woman neglected by her husband and having sex with a stranger who starts off by making a wrong-number call,' he said.

'great' I said.

END OF PART 4

Living as four bodies and one mind - a tale of love and wife swapping PART 5 'All the same, I am not totally comfortable with the plan,' I said, 'i think we are going too fast.'

'as in?' appu asked, earnestly.

'as in, suppose you wanted to have sex with a girl, how would you go about it. Would you straight-away reach for her boobs? '

'no... I mean, i'll try to take her out I guess, show her a good time.'

'exactly. That's what we are missing in our plan. We expect them to simply have sex with us because, being men, we would actually have sex with people we know only a bit. We need to approach them as they are, women, not slaves.'

'but I was not looking at them as slaves'

'i know, but the thing is that in our impatience for sex, we are forgetting the ground rules of approaching women, and how to treat them.'

'hmm. So are you suggesting that we should take them out and show them a good time? we already went to pondicherry didn't we?'

'not as a foursome. Our wives should be comfortable being with us alone. They should start trusting us, otherwise, I don't think at least my wife will enjoy this thing. She might agree and you might be able to have sex with her, but I feel she won't enjoy it. It might be unpleasant for her.'

'hmm. You are the expert on woman, so I guess you are right. To be frank, even my wife may be a bit uncomfortable. And i've only told her that it would be a foursome, and not with you alone, in a room' he said.

'so what I am suggesting is this -- let's the four of us go to a cinema, actually a multiplex. There, you and shama sit for one movie and me and sara sit for another. What do you say?'

'sounds ok, but what do we do about the kids?' he said.

Indeed, i'd forgotten all about the kids. I mean, there was no one in bangalore with whom we could leave our kids behind. That was actually a problem.

'then what about if we go to a park?' he asked.

Anyway, long story short, we decided to have a getting-to-know session in my house on the next day, sunday.

We reached appu's house by about 3 pm, after roaming around in a mall on old madras road to kill time.

when we entered the room, the mood was not as jovial as we'd left it. I looked at my wife, who was sitting in the sofa with sara in the sofa. She asked me 'what book did you buy?'

'the book has not come yet, they'd deliver it next week, they said,' I replied.

'oh' she said, still not betraying any emotion.

Appu walked in to one of the two bedrooms, the one that opened onto the living room. Sara followed him in.

I told shama we should probably leave now. She seemed surprised. 'really, are you sure', she asked, disbelievingly. She seemed to think it was trick and was looking at me cynically, like a teacher looks at a student who's just raised his hand after she asked a question she was sure none would know the answer to.

'yeah, let's push off', I said.

She still seemed to think I was joking. Anyway, the other couple came out and I said, 'we're pushing off now'

sara's face was serious-looking, though not exactly sad. She smiled and said, 'ok, we'll come tomorrow' I said 'ok. Shama, let's move'.

On the way back, I said, 'appu wants to take you to the movies' I guess she was not very surprised by what I said, because she did not say anything. She kept looking out of the car window.

'will you go?'

'where?'

'to the movies, appu wants to take you to the movies,' I repeated.

She looked me right in the eye. 'you want me to go?' she asked.

I was kind of nervous, but I didn't show it, I said, 'why not? he's my friend. He wants to take you to the movies. It'll be fun for you too.'

'so what will you do' she said.

'i'll look after the baby' I said.

She seemed satisfied with the answer. 'when' she asked.

'tomorrow, morning.'

'which movie?'

'whichever you prefer?'

the rest of the evening was tense. She didn't talk to me much, except the absolute necessities, such as 'are you having dinner now, or later' types.

It was like one of those times when we quarreled and refused to talk to each other for the rest of the evening. I called up appu and told him about the new plan. He was supposed to pick up my wife around 11 am, take her to a movie and generally pretend like he was out on a date with her. 'imagine this is your first date with my wife. Be nice to her, be a gentleman, don't do anything you would not do on a first day. Treat her with respect,' I instructed him.

'ok boss,' he said.

At night, she turned to the other side and slept. I too slept, kind of relieved. I thought this anger would be useful for her tomorrow, when she's going out with appu. It would help her be more comfortable with him, if she could be angry with me.

In the morning, appu called, around 9 am to confirm the final details. 'is it on,' he asked, I said 'of course.'

'ok great' he said.

'here talk to soma,' I said, handing the phone over to her. She was clearly not expecting me to do that.

she said, 'hi.. Yeah.. That will be fine.. Yeah, sounds fine.. Yeah.. You too. Yeah, see you' though she was gruff throughout the morning, during the call she started smiling, unknowingly, as she was talking to him.

As she hung up, she wiped the smile off her face.

she finished the daily kitchen chores, had a bath and walked in to the bedroom, where I was resting. 'what should I wear?' she asked.

The question was actually superfluous. She only wore salwar kameez, though she also had the odd saree.

I said 'saree'.

'saree? it's such a bother?' she said.

'well, you should look good. I don't want my friend to be disappointed. I want him to feel special. He should be proud of being with an attractive lady.'

'fine,' she said non-chalantly.