Love and Trust

"Yeah, I remember, will probably never forget it. But Irina, you don't have to tell me anything."

"I want to tell you. I'm pretty sure I will always remember that night, for different reasons. So, I was picked up by a man and agreed to follow him to his room. Before we got there another man joined us and I was hesitant to go through with it. They said they would of course pay individually, and they would take me one at a time so I agreed after all.

In the room I was told to undress and lay down on the bed, so I did. Then I was instructed that I would act like a girl who hated sex but pretended to love it to save her life. That was too close to the truth for comfort, but I thought I would at least be able to act the part. Then they said I would be tied to the bed and that shook me. I protested but they said it was natural that I was tied when threatened. I yielded again and was tied outstretched.

They started to take off their clothes when there was a knock on the door. I almost panicked but couldn't do anything. When the door was opened two policemen in uniforms entered. My first thought was that I was saved at last, then I wondered if Marija and Anna had been freed. The four men talked but I didn't understand what was said. I lay there naked and tied, waiting to see what would happen.

They all took off their clothes, that's what happened. I protested again, violently, but was told to shut up: they would all pay for everything they did as long as I acted my part, played scared and disgusted but begging to be taken over and over again. I insisted on them using condoms and they laughed:

'Do you really think we would fuck a whore without condoms? Don't be stupid!'

The first man lay down on me and waited, glaring. I realised what he was waiting for so with trembling voice and tears flowing -- no acting needed for that -- I begged him to take me. He did, hard, with the others cheering him on and calling me names. He came soon but after withdrawing he peeled off the condom and pushed it inside me with a finger. I was shocked but the next man got onto the bed, waiting. 'Please fuck me!' I begged and he entered me, pushing the used condom all the way in. It continued like that, they had me twice each and then they got dressed.

I still lay there tied to the bed, with seven used condoms deep inside me and another just inside the opening. When they were dressed one of the policemen took his baton and pushed it all the way in me. A couple of stabs and he pulled it out again, holding it before my mouth. I thought he would beat my teeth in, but he said: 'Clean it with your tongue. Lick it like a cock, you love that don't you whore?" So I did, and then they freed me, told me to get dressed and the first guy followed me down to hand over their money.

When you came over to us I was shaken, had eight used condoms in me and my underwear was wet with cum leaking out. Not to mention I was humiliated beyond belief. I have been beaten when fucked, called anything imaginable and made to do things I had never imagined. This was worse, a lot worse. I acted my own part and laid my soul open to them, and they humiliated it. They made it clear that they wanted to protect themselves but didn't care about me, leaving those condoms. When you left us with Jenny in your room I used the bathroom to get them out and wash. I had to let Petra help me because they were too deep inside."

Irina stood behind me while telling this, and the back of my shirt was wetted by her tears. It wasn't hysterical sobbing, just silent crying, but somehow that made it worse. The tears came from deep inside, from her core.

I turned slowly to face Irina.

"Hug?" I asked softly, and she nodded.

We held each other for quite some time but separated when a cold breeze made us shiver. Without exchanging a word we returned to the porch, an arm around the other. There Irina stopped, wiped the tears from her face and took a couple of deep breaths.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, as okay as I can be anyway."

I kissed her hair above the ear, a stupid thing to do but I couldn't stop myself. She turned her face to me and gave a little smile before opening the door and going inside followed by me.

The other three were nowhere to be seen and a look on my watch explained that: half past eleven, they had probably gone to bed. Irina and I said goodnight to each other and left for our rooms. Her story stayed in my mind and kept me from falling asleep, but eventually I started to drift away.

What woke me up was the mattress moving behind me. The covers were lifted, and when I looked behind me I saw Irina slip into my bed.

"Telling you about that, what happened before we first met I mean, made me think too much." she whispered "Strange as it may seem I need company tonight. Not... that, only someone close to me, a teddy-bear if you wish. Someone to hold on to. Okay?"

"Sure. You want me to hold you?"

"No! I need to be in control: me holding you is better."

"Okay. Goodnight again then. Try to sleep well."

"Goodnight Teddy." she almost giggled but it turned into a sob, put an arm around me and sighed.

In the morning things had changed. I was on my back with Irina pressed against me on one side, head on my shoulder and a leg over mine. One of her hands rested over my heart and I had an arm under her with my hand on her side. Her breathing was slow and deep in sleep, her face relaxed.

The door to my room was slightly open and Petra's head was visible there. She looked a question at me and I raised my free hand to wave her inside. Kneeling beside the bed Petra whispered:

"I looked into Irina's room and it was empty. I was a little worried since she went outside last night and wasn't back when we went to bed. I didn't expect... this, but thought I should have a look anyway after searching the rest of the house."

"She told me about some... disturbing things from before and didn't want to be alone. Nothing has happened I assure you."

"It's none of my business anyway, I was just worried. I'm glad she seems comfortable where she is. Be aware that she might react when she wakes up though."

"I'm already awake." Irina stated without moving a finger "And yes, I'm very comfortable where I am."

"How long have you been awake?" I wondered "Did you fool me you were sleeping when I woke up?"

"I woke when you spoke. I felt it."

"Alright," Petra said "I found you, so I will leave you alone."

"Or you can lay down too, behind me. Hold me."

"Would you like that Irina?"

"Mm. Cosy. But stop talking now. I want to snooze against Teddy."

Petra got in, spooning Irina, but I had to move my arm from under her. Irina was soft but my arm was hurting anyway. I turned to face them, put my upper arm around both girls and relaxed again. I felt Irina's breath against my cheek.

The door was still open and before long Anna's voice half-whispered:

"Petra! What are you doing?"

"Snoozing with Irina." came the answer "Join in, it's cosy and warm."

Soft steps over the floor and both Anna and Marija came into my view on the other side of the bed.

"There's not enough space for us both behind you. Move over."

"No, Irina is back to sleep I think." Petra refused "One of you get over behind Peter."

Anna and Marija exchanged a look, then Anna got in behind Petra and Marija moved around the bed and got in behind me, an arm on top of us.

My bed was filled to the limit, and it was definitely the first time I shared any bed with four women. All of them dressed in long nightgowns, all of them damaged goods and 'out of bounds', but still. The only problem for me was that it was very warm under the covers with bodies in front and behind.

Finally Irina had enough too and opened her eyes.

"Thanks, all of you. That was absolutely wonderful, but it's getting hot in here. I need a shower now."

They got out of the bed, Irina after giving me a kiss on the cheek, and I was alone all of a sudden. I lay there and tried to figure out what had happened. From hardly talking with each other if we didn't have to, to -- innocently -- sharing my bed, all of us. Talk about a change.

I got up and went to my private bathroom, realising that a shower sounded like a good idea.

At breakfast I came out with a question:

"Have any of you hunted?"

Three heads were shaken but Anna said yes.

"Only a couple of times and I didn't actually shoot anything, but dad taught me how to shoot and I was out with him a few times."

"Want to try again? It's season for elk, roe-deer and black grouse now, all of them relatively common around here. I would suggest deer and elk since I have no dog, but you never know."

"Sure, why not? But I don't know if I have the clothes for it."

"You can try Jenny's. She refuse to shoot anything but she enjoys being outdoors. I want to see you shoot first though. I have a spot where I practice here but don't tell anyone. It's not official and you're not allowed to shoot anyway."

"If someone should see us?"

"Out here? Not likely, but no-one cares much anyway as long as it is done safely and for the meat, not as a fun thing to do. I'll get Jenny's outfit."

The clothes were a bit small, but on the other hand the boots were too big. It worked though and I took Anna with me to my weapons safe, a small shed in the yard with log walls and a steel door. I handed her a .308 Winchester and took a 30-06 myself. A box of ammunition for each in my backpack and we left for the 'range': a clear stretch ending at an earth mound fifteen feet high.

"You can try both rifles and pick your favourite -- if you pass. Five shots inside the black, practice before you start."

I watched her handle the .308 and noticed that she knew what she was doing. After loading she got down on one knee, aimed, released the safety and pulled the trigger slowly. Bang!

A look through the scope and mumbling a few words she adjusted the sight slightly, lined up and fired again. After five rounds she checked that no cartridge was loaded and put down the rifle, sideways.

"I think I passed already with this, though the first hit was a little off to the right." she stated confidently.

Closing in on the target I saw she was right.

"I think so too you know. Want to try the 30-06?"

"Yeah, but we can do that another time. I'm happy with this."

So we returned to the house and left on the ATV for another part of the forest. We were out all day and returned in time for dinner with -- nothing. We saw roe deer but they spotted us first and ran off, we saw black grouse and they flew away. The smile on Anna's face said she was happy anyway and I had to agree: it had been a great day.

Marija and Petra had looked through my food supplies: freezers, root cellar, everything. They suggested that picking mushrooms would be better than hunting since four freezers were full of meat. A bit late in the season I protested, but was asked how I knew that if I hadn't looked? A fair question and the next day's work was decided on.

Irina had picked apples for storage in the root cellar before they fell from the trees and got bumped. We had been busy, all of us, and were all smiles.

- - - - - -

Jenny finally arrived two weeks later, in her car. The temperature was down around zero and we had both put away our Harley's for the winter.

She brought news, good and less good. The girls would be allowed Swedish citizenship, but they had to file for it officially. That meant public records of their origin -- not a common one - and though they were allowed protected identities it still would give anyone who looked a hint of which country they could be in. If anyone still looked for them or ever had...

The reply to a letter sent to Vadim requesting advice about the risks said he had not seen or heard anything suggesting any interest. It was a guessing game, but in the end it wasn't much too think about. They had to file for it and hope for the best.

During her stay Jenny took the girls shopping for winter clothes. They had warm clothes already if used in layer upon layer, but Jenny said they looked like bears in them, joking I might shoot them by mistake.

Jenny refused to use my card this time. Part of a nationwide church collection for 'Abused women living under threat' would cover it with the bishops blessing.

It was clear that Jenny also observed how we interacted, and halfway through her week-long stay she took me for a walk outside.

"You've cleared up your relation with them I see." she said "It wasn't that hard was it?"

"I don't know. Honestly, I have no idea how it happened. We had a long discussion right after your call, but as far as I can recall we agreed on everything from the start."

"Stupid! Of course you agreed, you wanted the same thing! The only problem was that you acted on it your way, without telling them your thoughts. Now you communicate, in words, looks or gestures. I also notice there is a lot of physical contact between all of you. A hug, a touch, a kiss on the cheek or hair. They trust you, don't do anything to ruin that Peter."

"At first I asked every time if they wanted a hug, if a touch was okay. I guess I have learned what is accepted now.

"There you see! You told them what you wanted or intended to do and they had the chance to veto it. Have you shared a bed?"

"Jenny!"

"What? You can share a bed innocently you know, for comfort or warmth. Have you?"

"Once, with Irina. She told me about what happened that evening when I first 'bought' them. It was disturbing and she couldn't sleep alone after that. She came to my bed and said she needed a Teddy-bear to hug, not me holding her. The next morning the other three girls joined us for a 'snooze' as Irina called it. That's it."

"Awe, that's cute: my little brother being a cuddly Teddy-bear for needy women!"

"Stop it Jenny, it's not funny."

"No, I said it was cute, not funny. Just don't do anything stupid to ruin the cute factor."

I guaranteed economic support for all four girls for as long as needed, with Jenny and Martin as back-up, and within a week they were Swedish citizens.

- - - - - -

Winter arrived for real in mid November with snow, lots of snow. Three straight days of snowing brought more than two feet of heavy moist whiteness. The lake had frozen over earlier, but not to be considered safe to pass.

We stayed indoors most of those three days of snowing, simply for lack of reasons to go outside. The dense snowfall prevented hunting, the unsafe ice prevented fishing. Shovelling snow would certainly be needed but hardly meaningful with more coming down. It was slow though, apart from my cooking education. Yeah, Marija taught me a bit now and then when I had nothing else to do, but I don't think she was impressed with my progress.

Other than that we sat and talked, read books and talked some more. Daylight was hardly worth mentioning with the thick cloud cover, and at three it was dark outside anyway. By the third day I was restless so I put away my book and started to put on my boots.

"Where are you going?" Petra asked, looking up.

"I have to do something, so I'm going out to clean and warm up the sauna. It's season for it, I should have cleaned it at least a month ago, used it too. With nothing else to do it's time now."

"Need any help?"

"No, I've done it many times."

"Okay."

The sauna was an outhouse halfway to the lake shore, its door facing away from the house. Two feet of snow covered the ground and my first job was to clear it from the small porch. Inside I took off boots and coat in the changing room, checked the shower to see if the water worked and lit a fire in the sauna stove. After that I undressed from head to toe, filled bucket after bucket with water and poured over the walls, floor and benches to soak them.

I find getting naked is best when cleaning a sauna. It is a wet, hot and sometimes dirty job so wearing clothes kind of makes it more difficult. A bucket with soap water in one hand and a stiff brush in the other and I got going scrubbing floor, benches, walls, even the ceiling.

With the fire lit it got warm and I began to sweat. After soaking everything again and stoking the fire I took a break before starting the final rub of the benches. Being warm I opened the door and stepped out on the porch to cool down.

I almost hit Petra with the door on my way out. She was only fast enough to take a step back and down the stairs but I wasn't as fast in my reaction, so the door opened wide and revealed me in my nakedness. Petra stared at me, I stared at her, then I lowered my hands to cover up, very aware of the rise taking place.

"Sorry, give me a second to put something on Petra. I didn't expect anyone to get down here."

"Don't worry Peter, I have seen my share of naked men. More than my share, believe me. You look hot... I mean that as warm, so don't mind me. I thought I should see if there was something I could do anyway."

"Scrubbing the benches one more time, then half an hour enjoying the result and a roll in the snow. No, there's nothing I need help with thank you."

"Well, since I have come here anyway I might as well do what I can. I'll get changed if you let me pass."

"Change?"

"You're dressed for work, aren't you? I should be too."

"Petra, I don't know... Give me a second and I'll put on my underwear at least."

"No Peter. Listen, we all appreciate that you haven't tried anything with us, not even that morning when we shared your bed, or with Irina the night before that. We really do. But at least for me it feels a little strange. I've heard about sex being pleasurable but all I have experienced is being used over and over again without pleasure at best. Often worse. I don't say that I want you to take me, far from it, but I want to push the limits a little. See how I react to being naked with a man now. What better way than to do it working together? Let me try, please?"

Awkward. A bit frightening. I understood her reasoning but doubted it was wise. I took half a step to the side and she passed me with a smile that looked somewhat nervous. I guessed she wasn't as sure about it as she had sounded.

I closed the door behind her, staying outside on the porch until I was cold. When I got back into the changing room Petra sat naked on a chair, an arm across her chest and the other hand in her lap, legs close together. Her face was flushed as she looked up at me.

"Petra, Are you sure about this? Isn't it better to get dressed and go back to the house?"

"Maybe, but I want to try. So, what do we do?"

"Okay. I scrub the benches in the sauna with soap one more time, you follow and pour water on them when I'm done with one, and wipe them with a cloth. Or the other way around: you do the scrubbing."

"I'll scrub, I don't want to wait."

The temperature inside the sauna was up to 170 F and it was steaming. Petra gasped as the wet heat hit her but took the brush and kneeled on the middle level bench to scrub the top level. Right then I knew I had made a mistake letting her help. A cute ass sticking out like that, small but well-shaped breasts hanging down and shaking with every move she made. Drops of sweat appeared on her skin almost at once, pooling on her back or running to the sides and dripping down.

I had done my best to not see the girls in a sexual way and was proud I had managed so far, but this... I wanted to touch her, lick the sweat from her skin, I wanted...

With an effort I turned my eyes away from her, grabbed the second bucket and went out to the shower to fill it with water. I took my time too, waiting until I was sure she had finished with the top bench. Then I returned to her.

Averting my eyes I poured the water and began wiping the wood kneeling pretty much the same way Petra had done.