- Romance
- Love and Trust
- Page 8
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Click hereBeing who I am, and knowing Jenny, I would have agreed to anything just to get it over with, but it wasn't only about me. There was exchanges of smiles, glances and pleased sighs between the women. Being the man, I was excluded from this exchange but there is a limit to how stupid and ignorant I am: I understood what took place anyway.
So it was agreed upon soon enough. Jenny didn't even bother to ask my opinion in the end. All she said was:
"It's settled then Peter. I'm happy both for you and them. Just remember they are depending on you for their happiness, and everything will be okay."
"And what about my happiness?" I asked with mock innocence.
"Peter, if you're serious you can go to hell!" Jenny replied.
Foul-mouthed as she can be that was beyond anything she had ever said to me. She looked as if she meant it too.
"It was a joke Jenny!" I assured her therefore.
"I don't care! The four of them not only depend on you, they love and trust you! Don't you understand what it takes for them to rely on you like that? "
Her eyes spit fire at me. I have done my brotherly share of upsetting her but this was apparently beyond that.
"Calm down Jenny! I know! I don't understand it but I know!"
That made her sputter even worse.
"You don't understand why? What is wrong with you? Because you give them the love they need of course, you idiot! You're the first man they've been able to trust since this started, the only man! Fucking hell!"
"Jenny, calm down! Breathe! Yes, I do love them, and I know they trust me. I just can't see any reason for their trust, that's all."
"Because you are you, you bloody fool! Because you are you!" she stated and embraced me like no-one had ever done before.
- - - - - -
So I guess that's how you teach people about love and trust: be yourself!
Simple? Of course not! How many of us actually know who we are? I mean, deep down inside? I didn't before I met four victims of trafficking and my sister told me I was a fool. Of course that is a sisters duty, but meeting the girls was something extraordinary.
Maybe, just maybe, it came to be because I did Ride With God for a week even though I'm not really a believer. Perhaps it wasn't anything I or we did at all but Him using his 'creators privilege'. No matter which, I have no complaints...
*****
Dear Reader
If You have the time, may I suggest that You vote or leave a comment now? That is after all the only reward we who write and publish here on Literotica get: Your judgement.
Thank You.
Halin24
- COMMENTS
auhunter04over 2 years agoI like this story, I can see the ladies focusing their trust on the one man who made them feel safe and loved. I see this event being one of two ways, the way described here or him falling in love yet having to let them all go for their safety. An epilogue could be the loved one returning
Anonymousover 2 years ago"Creators privledge"
Nicely put. I don't go with the notion that "Only good people get saved" for the simple reason that my bible tells me "No-one is good. NO, not one"
Or as Jesus told the those who Insisted that they were the only good people, "If you admitted your need I would help you, but as you insist you can see, I will leave you in you blindness."
Anonymousover 2 years agoQuit. Old school!! See evil and don't do something about it you are as guilty maybe even more guilty than the evil doers
dauberover 4 years agoSex slaves. Evil, vile and dehumanizing. You seem to have pondered about this hence this story. Thanks for publishing this. It has me thinking about it. And that is a tribute to the author.
norcal62about 5 years agoOne of the truly intelligent and thoughtful works here. One doesn't have to be
anti-intellectual to be erotic.
Halin24over 6 years agoAuthorPerhaps you express my problems writing better than I could have done myself! Let me start with the easiest problems.
Whether the setup was long or short is probably a matter of what you're looking for. That comment of mine focused on the sex, and since this story wasn't about that it was probably correct.
The 'correct' English is really an issue regarding my own English, I guess. I try to write better all the time, and since I'm not a 'natural English-speaker' it is difficult to fake it. I actually tried at first but it got too difficult, too long and too complicated. Because of that I decided to make it simple: after all, why shouldn't eastern European's have learned English as good - or better - than I have?
As a whole It is all about my writing style I guess: I usually start with an idea. It may be a sentence, a picture, a news report, or anything. I build the story around that beginning, and it usually progresses pretty well. Until I have the ending clear in my head...
At that point I usually get bored, lose my interest. It doesn't matter if I think it is good or bad, has a deeper meaning or not. When the end is clear to me it is a struggle to write it down before I leave it as something 'almost finished'
This one was as much of a struggle as any other, and as a result probably not as good as it could have been....
Northpacific2017over 6 years agoLiked the story, and all the hard work and effort you put in to it, for my entertainment, as a reader, I look forward to more.
North
Anonymousover 6 years agoYou wrote in the beginning that there would be a long setup. On the contrary, to me it felt kind of rushed. In fact, the whole story was littered with points where I wondered why you didn't take more time expressing emotions or thoughts from the characters. Everything kind of happened and as a reader I was left in the dark as to why all these things - or even what (They talked for one more hour...about what?) - occured.
Perhaps as a result, the characters' actions seemed unrealistic to me - at least sometimes. I mean, it felt good to see the burdened women overcome their traumas, it was just hard to identify with them (mostly later in the story) because of how unrealistic it seemed.
Another minor issue may be that the Eastern European women (or everyone, really) apparently could speak perfect English - apart from your grammatical errors - without further explanation.
One thing I personally liked was the miscommunication thing, where Jenny had to intervene so Peter and the young women would be more comfortable together. That seemed like it would likely happen.
All in all, it may be a tough subject (as rightbank put it) that you challenged yourself with and where the hurt and other emotions need to be communicated to the reader and the characters act according to their individual personalities combined with their traumas to make it believable. You missed the mark on this one in my eyes, however I'm sure you can do better in the future.
- R
rightbankover 6 years agoI liked the first six pages and then it changed
Sorry but there's no way the group could transform in that way.
