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Click hereAs he usually did when thinking intensely about something, the thumb on his right hand bent to the base of his middle finger to rotate the diamond ring around his digit. It was just a little habit that had formed since winning the ring in a five card draw game about a year ago. His eyes opened wide as he sat up straight. His gazed at his right palm, the fingers spread wide. His $10,000 diamond ring was gone! "FUCK!"
A moment later his cell started ringing.
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(comments, critiques, feedbacks welcome)
- COMMENTS
neosamover 8 years agoI have read the original story
and yurs is different than the original genre..but its fantastic
u have amazing writing skills ,,the seduction part was written very beautifully and the dialogs between her and the real father is really very humorous.. i loved it !!
Please do write more such stories
Thanks for sharing
Neo
StoryPalalmost 15 years agoIt's always interesting to see how an author takes off from an inspiring platform. You've done a great job. I'm sure that Charles Petersunn is happy with what you've done. It's high praise when an author inspires other authors. Based on this story, I'm looking forward to reading the rest of what you've published on Literotica.
Anonymousabout 15 years agoohh l love this type of storie.. so mee.. thank you for it.. would you please please write more.. l think its fantastic.. all the best ..
Charles Petersunnabout 15 years agoI want to again reiterate that this story was done with my blessing. I even reviewed it in advance. It isn't my style but it shouldn't be. I think it's wonderful that authors are interested in collaborating like this. Spin-offs are also not easy to do. I am myself wary of even doing sequels because they rarely measure up to the original, and I have also done spin-offs of other characters (e.g., Candy). I hope others will continue to do so.
Anonymousabout 15 years agoThe writing was OK but this strayed too far away from the previous great Jason & Mrs. Johnson stories for my taste. You should make up your own story lines instead of using others - permission or not.
Charles Petersunnabout 15 years agoI particularly liked the appearance of the ring at the end (e.g., the titillation of what the heck that was about!), as well as "father" becoming "daddy" (nice one!), plus the sex was well developed and detailed.
To anonymous who didn't care for spinning off of another person's story, I want to say that I think it's outstanding. It demonstrates a real collaboration and interaction among authors (I was very happy to provide permission).
