Pillar Ch. 03

She'd never been so tight and wet before, so responsive and easy to get off. Tom struggled to hold back his own orgasm, fucking her with strong strokes until she finally stilled. She'd passed out. He grabbed her hips and fucked her with renewed vigor until he spewed a monster load into her well used pussy.

Tom looked down on Ruth and wondered what she would say. He'd wrung her for everything she had, but would she thank him for doing so? Perhaps.

***

When Ruth woke up, her mind was still blurry. Fragments returned to her, a patchy jumble of sensations and mind blowing ecstasy. Her body felt tender, but she couldn't have complained even if she'd wanted to. She felt giddy, and she could still feel aftershocks if she closed her eyes. She grabbed Tom's arm and draped it over her, nestling it snugly between her breasts. Happy, she spooned him and closed her eyes, drifting back to sleep.

***

Tom's face was the first thing Ruth saw the next day. "Look who decided to wake up. I think we can safely say I delivered something the lady won't forget."

She turned over on her back and grimaced. Everything was sore. "Hmmm."

"I thought it would be easier if I focused on the most versatile sense. Touch, heat, pain. They're all linked together."

When Ruth didn't respond, Tom took her hands in his and pulled her up into a sitting position. She didn't like that maneuver at all, and she groaned in protest.

"Come on, it's noon already. I only came back here to have a quick lunch and to check up on you. Am I really going to have to throw you in the shower?"

Ruth intended to tell him off, but all that left her mouth were some vague mumbling sounds. She slid onto her side and started working herself back under the duvet.

"Fine, have it your way."

One second she was still reasonably comfortable and in what seemed to be the next she was bobbing up and down on Tom's shoulder. She weakly stretched her hands out towards the bed, but to no avail. Every step was one more than her tender body could take right now. She was glad when he finally put her down on a stool in the shower. The sudden coldness of the water spray shocked her. She sputtered and tried to shield herself with her hands, but he sprayed her everywhere, the bastard.

"The cold water will help a little against any bruising and as a useful side effect, it woke you up. Let it run for a little while longer and then have a hot shower. Tidy up, you know where everything is. I left vitamin C cream for bruises on the cupboard. There's also an ointment for your more tender parts. Take your time, grab something to eat. We can talk about yesterday when I get back from work. I've really got to go now, take good care of yourself."

And he was off again. Ruth ran deliciously hot water over her chilled skin for a long time. It relaxed her muscles and soothed her pussy and ass cheeks. She helped herself to the creams he'd provided and was thankful when she felt them work their magic.

Ruth saw the goofy smile on her face in the mirror and laughed. She couldn't wait until Tom came back so she could put that same stupid smile on his face.

17

Alex woke up in a room she hadn't seen before. She swung her legs out of bed and her foot bumped into an empty liquor bottle when she set it down. She sighed and hid her face in her hands. What happened last night? Did she even have to ask?

The guy she must've been with was nowhere to be seen when she flicked on the light. The room was a mess of clothes and books and crap laying around. She laughed a mirthless laugh. Jackpot. Again. It didn't take her long to find her clothes strewn around. She wanted to get out of there.

Alex popped her head through the door to see if there was anyone in the hallway. Just a few people. She kept her head and avoided eye contact. She didn't want to see their oh so subtle glances and little knowing smiles. To them she was just the next score for the guy who's room she was leaving. Some drunk chick he tricked into bed.

It was fine if they thought that. She didn't care if they saw her as a girl who slipped up in haze of alcohol. They didn't need to how many times she'd been that girl in the past few weeks.

The wind blew in her hair when she stepped outside. Alex closed her eyes and let the breeze cool her body down. She had a headache and her stomach wasn't feeling so good either. Those discomfort were small compared to the gnawing hole in her stomach. She'd done it again, like she knew she would. And if today wasn't Wednesday, she would be doing the same tonight.

That little spark of light lightened her step as she figured out where she was and headed back to her dorm. Tonight she'd see Tom and he'd make all of this go away. She'd call him and ask him to do something crazy to her. He always did, but today even his normal crazy might not be enough to make her blank out all the guilt and self-loathing that cramped her gut.

She didn't care how he did it, and as long as he kept doing it, he could do to her whatever he pleased.

18

Tom opened the door and saw Alex standing there. "You're early, Alex. Well, come in. I have to finish dinner first and then we can eat. I won't be long."

He led her to the couch and gave her a drink. In his haste to keep his food from burning, Tom missed the look on Alex's face. When he finished up, Tom grabbed a drink and went to join Alex only to find her wrapped into a tight ball on the couch. "Alex? Alex, what's wrong?"

Sobs shook her shoulders, and he sat down next to her and lifted her into his lap, folding her into his arms. "Alex, can you hear me? It's me, Tom. Shush, don't cry. You'll be fine. I'm sure you'll be fine. Shhh."

He stroked her back, and for a long time he murmured small nothings in her ear. Alex let go of her knees and wrapped herself around him. She didn't speak, but she took courage from his embrace.

"Shh, Saschenka. It's okay now, you're alright. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"It's not enough, Tom."

"What's not enough?"

"You. I need you."

"What do you mean?"

Her nails dug into Tom's shoulders. "I can't wait two weeks, I just can't! You don't understand this is for me. How hard it is to wait. It's always the worst right before I get to see you. I hardly sleep. You don't know me, Tom. You don't know how I can't stop myself from touching my pussy. How I have to go out and find someone to fuck me. But I have to, over and over. I don't want that anymore! I was doing so well. Until I met you. I need more!"

"You need more what?"

"I need you to fuck me! It's always there inside of me. This big hole that never fills up. And even if I come, I know it comes back. You can make it go way for so much longer than anybody else. I need that, I'll do anything."

"I'm sorry, Alex."

She pushed away from him and with fear breaking her voice she said, "What do you mean, you're sorry? What, Tom!"

"I can't give you what you're asking for. You know that."

"Don't tell me you can't! Please don't, you can't do that to me."

A pained look clouded his face, and he slowly shook his head. "I have an agreement with Ruth, today is our last time together."

"There has to be a way!"

"There isn't, I'm sorry."

"So you're the same as all the others? Fuck me and then just forget about me?"

Tom's face tightened when he heard those words. "I'm not."

"Yes you fucking are! The moment I tell you I want something more from you, you run away like a little bitch. You asshole! Why can't you just give me what I want?"

Tom plopped her down on the couch besides him, he rose from his seat and towered over her. Anger blazed from his eyes. "You're telling me I'm just another shallow prick? You knew very well what I offered and what I wanted. I put real effort into every time we met. You go out there and try to find what I give you! Now leave! I refuse to argue while I'm angry. I'll call you in a few days, don't ask me how many."

Alex tried to say something, tried to stammer an apology. But the disappointment in his eyes shut her up and she fled out the door. He slammed it shut behind her. Oh god! What had she done now? What if he never wanted to see her again? She'd go crazy with lust. But he wasn't like that, he said he'd call. He'd give her a chance to explain. She had to apologize, but how? She didn't know.

19

Alex sat huddled up on a bench in a small park close to Tom's place. It was already the third evening since her confession that she sat here, trying to muster up the courage to go ring his bell and ask for forgiveness. Instead of days spent in a warm, happy afterglow after going through what he cooked up for her, she just felt alone. He hadn't called her yet. Was that good or bad? She didn't know him well enough to know that. Was this normal for him? Maybe she should go ring his bell. God, this was a big waste of time.

She looked up when the clicking of a pair of heels on the cobbles stopped in front of her. Bright green eyes were taking her in. They were set in a beautiful face framed by light reddish blond hair. Alex met the curious gaze, perturbed someone had just stopped to stare at her.

"Is your name Alexandra?"

"Alex."

"Yes, I thought so. It's rare to see curls like yours. They look like spun copper and maple leaves."

"What?"

Ruth swiped her hand. "Never mind, just something Tom said when he described the color. I think he did well. I'm Ruth, you've heard of me?"

"You're Ruth?"

Ruth arched an eyebrow. "Yes, I'm Tom's lover. Did I disappoint you?"

"No, you're really beautiful."

Ruth smiled and looked off into the trees behind the bench. When she looked back at Alex there was a warmth to her face that hadn't been there before. "I am now, but it took someone else to show me. Can I sit with you for a bit?"

"I guess."

Alex scooted to the side and cast a sideway glance at her new companion.

"Don't worry, Alex. I'm not here to argue with you. Tom told me about you and the things you've done together. I hate the thought of him being with someone. Even more now I've seen you, but I can't do the things he's put you through. In a way I want to thank you for helping him."

Alex wanted to interrupt her, but Ruth raised her hand and stopped her. She waited for a second to be sure Alex would be quiet.

"Tom suggested the two of us meet not too long ago, and I didn't take it very well. I was feeling very jealous and hostile against you and things sort of blew up. We talked, and I think I understand better now. I can see how he's come to see you as friend, or more someone who's shared something special with him. It hurts that I'm not that person, but I understand it. If it could've been me, it would've been."

Alex stared at Ruth, taken by surprise by the waterfall of honesty that just dropped from the sky. She had no idea what to say or if she should be offended.

Any answer she could've given was forestalled when Ruth plowed on. "He's told me about what happened Wednesday. You hid certain things from him. As far as he could know you were a free spirited girl looking for someone who could give her a good time. And you like it rough, not everyone can do that for you without abusing you, so it's fair to expect a certain enthusiasm when you find someone who can."

She took Alex's hand in hers and squeezed it. "Alex, he's very serious about honesty. It wasn't easy on us, but we agreed on what he did with you. He told me you knew your agreement with him was limited because of me, is this true?"

"Yes."

"Then why do you want more? And be honest with me here."

Alex pulled her hand free from Ruth's and tangled her fingers together. "I... Why should I even tell you?"

"I'm meeting Tom tonight and I'm late. This is a shortcut I'm taking to save time. It's a coincidence I've met you here. Still, when I go to Tom, I'll tell him about this conversation and what I think about it. He values my opinion, so if I were you I'd just get on with it."

"You're just going to twist my words."

"I'm never dishonest with him."

Alex clenched her jaw and folded her arms in front of her, looking away from Ruth.

"So that's it, you don't want to tell me?"

Ruth got up to leave when Alex didn't respond, but Alex grabbed her arm before she could leave. "Wait. It's just hard to talk about. Why would you even do this?"

Ruth sat down again and gathered her thoughts for a moment. "I'm doing this for Tom. The things you said, the meaning behind them... I can see that he can't let it go. I don't want that, I need him to be happy. That's what I do."

Alex stared at her again. "Are you high?"

Ruth shook her head and said, "No, but I'm serving a man who takes good care of me, and I trust him in his plans for me. That's the deal we made, plain and simple."

Alex sighed, she couldn't deal with this woman. If she was Tom's chosen life partner, she'd have to be something special. Probably not a bad person to talk to. She sighed again and started telling her story.

"My parents worked long hours to keep a roof over our heads so I was by myself a lot. Not that anybody cared, they didn't look at me. When I started touching myself, it felt good and exciting. It made me feel warm, and I could forget about everything for a while. Once I'd started, I could hardly keep my hands of myself, even though my parents told me I was doing a bad thing. I stopped believing that nonsense long ago, but if I look back at it now, that nonsense doesn't seem so stupid anymore.

"One day, a friend told me about sex. I know now that her story was dumb, but at the time it sounded like an adventure. Something that was even more forbidden than what I already did. You needed a boy to have sex, that's all I knew for sure. It wasn't hard for me to find one. I developed early, and I knew boys noticed me. My first time was a disappointment, but I got him back up so he could at least try to do for me what I could do on my own.

"Still, I liked the close feeling and the look on the boy's face. It meant something. So I got together with another boy, and after him I found another boy and so on. Sometimes I had several boyfriends, my parents weren't there so I could pull it off. By the time I finished high school I had a reputation. I'd let them fuck me until they made me come. That's all I wanted from them. It just felt so good.

"Things got out of hand when I started going to college. My parents were so proud my grades were good enough to get a scholarship. It was the only way they could afford to send a daughter of theirs to a respected university. I was the talk of the family, and suddenly my parents seemed to care. But I was too far gone already.

"Over time what I wanted changed. I liked to be chased and caught. Being with the same guy quickly bored me, and there were so many college guys. Once word had spread, guys would come hit on me, and I'd let them take me home. If it was early I'd sometimes go out again to find another guy.

"I blew my first semester. My parents came to my dorm to intervene and discovered my stash of toys and condoms. Not that I'd hidden them well. They were shocked their daughter was such a slut. It hurt to see the revulsion in their eyes. I told them some of it, but they couldn't cope with it. I never expected them to. These days, I don't go home anymore. They don't want me to. They send me money because they have to and that's it.

"My second semester was really bad. I don't remember how many guys there were. But still it wasn't enough, I was burning up inside. Some of them were okay, but I needed something more intense, so I hung out at sex-clubs. They were always quick to let me in, there are never enough women in the worse ones. You wouldn't believe how fast you can get fucked raw if they know you're up for it.

"I ended it after I did a gang bang, I was sore for weeks afterwards. I felt like a slug, the dirtiest kind of slut there is. That was during my exam period. I missed all of my exams, and I had already flunked over half of my courses in the first semester. I buried myself in my schoolwork over the summer, and I worked myself to the bone to pass my retake exams with high enough grades to keep my scholarship.

"My second year I tried to keep a steady partner, but he couldn't keep up with me and he broke it off when he found out how many times I'd cheated on him. He was a really nice guy, and he was even good in bed. I liked him and still I couldn't contain myself. After him I stopped dating. One screw up was enough.

"I had to study to keep my scholarship so I couldn't go out as much that year. I had to find some other way to relieve my tension. Getting off on my own has never been enough for me, I need someone else close to me. So I put up an advert and I got some responses. I could schedule when I had sex, it worked for me. It had its ups and downs but I managed.

"After a while the guys responding to my advert weren't doing it for me anymore. So I changed it, made it more explicit and so on. I started to incorporate some elements of BDSM in my advert. I kept it under control like that, until now."

Alex leaned back against the bench and swallowed to wet her dry throat. Ruth touched her hand and said, "What's different now?"

"Tom's what's different. I went to his place that first time, hopeful I'd have a good time. He opens the door for me, polite as can be and before I know what's happening I'm on my knees, getting fucked with my head slamming into a couch. He holds nothing back, as if he wants to find my breaking point and then push me over it. And when he's finished with me, he makes sure I'm okay. I never have the strength to want more after I've been with him. He can satisfy me, at least for a while.

"But now, after a few days it comes back so much stronger than before. I can hardly keep my hands off myself long enough to call him and ask him to meet again so he can blow my mind. And he does, every time. God, he can fuck the shit out of me. It drives me out of my mind to wait for him. I've started picking up guys again, just to get by. I know it's bad. I know something's wrong with me. But I need him, I need him to make me come so hard I don't need it anymore. At least for a while."

Ruth said nothing for a long while. She sat on the bench with her hands folded together and the wind tousling her hair. Her eyes focused on Alex and she said, "I think I get what you're saying."

She held out her hand to Alex and said, "Come, let's go."

"Go? Go where?"

"To Tom of course. I don't want to be later than I have to be."

"What? No, I can't. He hasn't called yet."

"Shut up and come with me."

"But..."

"Now."

Alex allowed Ruth to take her hand and lead her to Tom's place, baffled by the ease with which the other woman herded her along.

***

Ruth bowed her head as she stood before Tom, who had his arms folded across his chest. The light streaming from the door opening illuminated her, but not Alex. "I'm sorry for the delay, Sir."

"Explain yourself."

"I've brought a visitor."

Ruth stepped further inside so Alex could join her. "I saw her sitting on a bench in the park nearby and I went over to talk to her. From what she told me, I thought it would be a good idea to bring her over here and have her tell you the same story. Excuse me if I presumed too much, Sir."

Tom's brown eyes settled on Ruth, but she kept steady under his gaze, standing with her shoulders straight and her chest proudly thrust forward. Tom nodded and said, "Alright, I'll let her have her say. Make yourself comfortable. From here on out we're in free time, Ruth."

Ruth cast Alex a glance and pushed her ahead of her. "Do you want a drink, Alex?"

"No, I'm fine."

Ruth gave her another shove. "Be honest like you were with me. He'll understand, just trust him. I'll get us some water."

Alex went over to the living area and sat down at the far edge of the couch, her eyes cast down. She wrung her hands and had trouble sitting still. She didn't know if Tom was watching her, but it felt as if his eyes were on her. Ruth broke the silence when she put three glasses on the coffee table and filled them up. The clattering of the water in the glasses felt really welcome. Alex took her glass and wrapped her hands around it, she took a sip and then another.