Taking a Mile

I shifted my legs so they were side by side and crossed my ankles. My balance got thrown off due to the way I was positioned. I felt like I was about to fall, but he held me firmly by my neck so I didn't budge.

"Daddy, I'm sorry." My teeth began to chatter.

"Shut it. I'll tell you when to speak."

As I was trying to think about what to say to him to calm him down, I felt his hand grab the waist of my leggings, and started to tug them downward. "Wait, Dad-" I placed my hands down on the table and tried to lift myself in a panic, but he pushed me back down onto the table, holding my neck even firmer than he did before.

"Hands to your sides, Madelyn."

"B-But..."

I felt him lift his hand off of the back of my neck, thinking I was off the hook, I tried to raise myself up only for him grab both of my arms and brace them against my back. He picked his belt up, rolled it up into a loop, and slid my arms through it. He cinched the belt tightly around my arms to restrict their movement. In a panic, I started squirming and letting out full moans. I instinctively uncrossed my legs and attempted to stand upright, but he lightly kicked my feet. "Put them back together." He pressed me back onto the table. "Now."

I crossed my legs again. As tears collected in a pool below my face onto the table, I tried to plead with him. "Dad, I'm sorry, I just w-"

"What did I say about speaking?"

"Yeah, but-"

His hand came down on my ass with a thundering clap resulting in me letting out a screeching loud yelp. "Keep it up, kid. Do you want to keep trying me?"

I shook my head, sniffling as I tried to respond. "N-No sir."

"Okay, we can start talking since you're being more cooperative, but only when I tell you you're allowed to talk. You'll have to work your way up to discussing things like an adult with me; you lost that privilege when you asked Alice about what it felt like for me to fuck her."

I grimaced in response to his words.

"Dad, I didn't say that. I-"

This time his hand came down on my ass a lot harder causing my legs to give in and bend at the knees, making it difficult to support myself. As my upper body began to slide down the table, he caught me and tugged me up by my shirt. For a moment, my vision went hazy from the overwhelming amount of pain I was experiencing.

"Did I say anything about you being allowed to talk?"

"No, sir." I shook my head.

"Now. What the hell is going on with you, kid? Why are you so hell bent on making things so difficult? I have done nothing but be accommodating to you, and this is how you repay me?"

"I don't know, I'm sorry..."

"That's not going to cut it, Madelyn. I only accept honesty in this house." His hand came down again making me yelp. I clenched my teeth trying to endure the pain. He continued swatting my ass over and over until I spoke up.

"Okay! Okay! Oh my god, I'm sorry! I..." I pressed my forehead up against the pool of tears that was collecting on the table, making my hair stick to my face. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to ride out the residual stinging from his last volley of spankings.

"Spit it out," he growled.

I saw the shadow of his hand raising up again and loading another swing, making me panic and blurt out whatever I could. "I'm jealous, Dad! Fuck, I want you to myself, Okay? I don't want you to spend time with anyone else because I want to spend time with you. And..."

"'And' what, Madelyn?"

I didn't know what to say. Between the overwhelming amount of pain I was experiencing, being scared, and being horny all at the same time, my mind was all over the place. My legs began to tremble in response to everything that my body was experiencing. I was panting so hard that drool was dripping from my mouth.

"Madelyn!" he shouted at me.

I snapped out of it and let out an audible gulp. "I..."

He let out a loud sigh and lifted me up by the back of my shirt. He twirled me around and sat me up on the dining room table so I was facing him. I winced at the renewed pain of the pressure on my ass from sitting down.

"You have three seconds to explain yourself. Otherwise, I'm sending your ass to bed without dinner. One."

"D-Daddy..." I looked up at him with puppy dog eyes as streams of tears ran down my face. I swallowed, trying to clear my throat, but found myself unable to come up with anything to say.

He gathered up the saliva dripping from my lips with his finger and wiped it on his shirt. "Speak up! Two!"

"I..." I eventually shimmied my arms out of the makeshift restraint and desperately grabbed onto his shirt, trying to cling to him.

"No," he said, sternly and shook his head at me. "Did I say you were allowed to free your arms?"

"No, b-but..." I scooted forward, still panting lightly and letting out little mews. I didn't know what I wanted from him, but I knew I wanted it.

"Let go of my shirt." He pried my hands from his shirt and pushed me back. "That's three, Get into your room."

"But, Dad... Please"

"No. Go to your room. Now. Before I get cross and decide to spank your ass again."

"Y..." My words got caught in my throat as I responded. "Yes, sir."

"Go."

I hesitantly got up and pulled my pants up. I looked back for a second and realized I left a streak of my juices on the table where I was sitting. I used the bottom of my shirt to quickly, and discreetly wipe it up hoping he didn't notice.

Once I got inside of my room, I closed my door. I opened the floodgates and let it all out; I started crying harder than I have in over a year. I collapsed onto the floor in front of the door, curled up, and hugged my legs. I wasn't even crying because of the pain. I was crying because I upset him. I fucked up. I couldn't even follow simple directions.

After letting it all out, I pulled my leggings down. Just as I expected, my panties were stuck to me again. I was soaking wet from him spanking me. I soaked straight through my panties and noticed I had a wet spot on my ass, soaking all the way through my leggings.

As I knelt there on the floor inspecting myself, I heard my dad walking toward my room. I quickly pulled my leggings up, wiped my hand on my shirt and then quietly crawled into bed.

He opened the door, sighed, and sat at the edge of the bed next to me.

"Are you ready to talk?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then what was it that you weren't telling me out there?"

I looked down with a doleful look on my face. "I..."

He let out a groaning sigh.

"Here, how about this. How about I take a few guesses, and you tell me if I'm right or wrong? Tell me if I'm getting closer or not okay?"

"Okay."

"Did you do something bad back home?"

"No."

"Did...you smuggle drugs here on the plane?"

I chuckled and sniffled, trying to clear my nose. "No, not even close."

"Did that fucking lowlife, Craig, touch you inappropriately?"

"Oh my god, ew no. I'd kill him if he ever tried touching me, Dad."

"Good... good. Did you do something illegal?"

"Nope."

"Are you..."

I wiped my nose with my sleeve and looked up at him. "What?"

He stared right at me. "Are you a lesbian?"

I started laughing. "What!?"

"I mean because it's okay if you are, sweetheart. I'll love you regardless. I'll never judge you."

"NO! I'm not a lesbian, but thanks for the reassurance. You're kinda close though."

"Really? Hm. Okay then... Are you in love with someone?"

I broke eye contact with him again and started nibbling on my nails.

"Yes," I said softly while my mouth was obstructed by my hand.

"Are you in love with your friend, Claire?"

I stared up at him again in disbelief, tilting my head.

"You just asked if I was a lesbian and I already said no."

"I don't know. You could be bi-sexual."

"Well, no. I'm not in love with Claire."

"Are you in love with a guy in Oregon?"

"No."

"Online?"

"No."

"Is he from the US?"

I nodded in response, still nibbling on my nails.

"Is he from South Carolina?"

"Yes."

"...Is this the whole reason why you wanted to move with me so bad? You met someone from around here?"

"No, I haven't met anyone from here."

"Then what?" he asks while scratching his head.

"Is it someone I know?"

"Yes..."

His gaze became distant as he entered deep thought. "I don't know... I don't know who it could be, considering I'm pretty sure you and I don't know the same people, especially around here. I know it isn't Alice."

He stared at me, trying to read me. I stared up at him from the edges of my eyes. His eyes scanned mine, flitting across my face, almost as if he was staring straight into me and reading my thoughts. After a long quiet pause, he responded.

"Me?" he asked, pointing his index finger to his chest.

I shifted my gaze back down and didn't respond.

"Madelyn, is it me?"

My eyes began to pool up, as the lack of a response answered his inquiry without me ever having to mutter a word.

He pulled my hand away from my mouth. "Look at me, kid." He gently grabbed my jaw and forced me to look up at him. "You're in love with me?"

Right as my eyes began to spill over I nodded my head at him. "Y-Yes sir."

"I'm not sure I understand this. You're in love with me like you want to be in a relationship with me, or you're in love with me like you want to be my best friend? Because if you want to be my best friend, you already are, babe. So there is no need t-"

"The first one, Dad," I interrupted him, bawling my eyes out.

He got up from the bed and started to pace back and forth while staring at the floor.

He stopped mid-pace and looked at me. "Madelyn, you do know that it's wrong to feel that way, right?"

I nodded shamefully, digging my nails into my own thighs, trying to punish myself for how I felt. "Yes."

"I don't know, kid." He rubbed his scruff with his hand, pondering deeply, his gaze clouded over. "I blame myself for not being in your life. I fucked up. I should've stayed in Oregon and took care of you like a normal father. I should h-"

"Just stop, Dad. Fuck."

He looked at me, ceasing all movement.

"You don't know what it's like to not be wanted. I went through most my life pining over you. Even when you lived with me, you were always working, so when you left me permanently, I was devastated. Mom never wanted me. She just wanted the benefits of having custody of me. I figured that out a long time ago. I had to go through my life with no family. No one to turn to, no one to love me back. Fucking nothing. Like... Did I do something wrong? Was I a bad child? Did you not want me? D-"

"Madelyn." He raised his voice, interrupting me. "I love you, babe. I love you more than anything in this whole world. You were never a bad child. I left because I had to in order to take care of you financially. I had to pick between financially supporting you or emotionally supporting you. I was hoping that your mom would pick the emotional slack up, but it was exactly that, "hope." A good part of me knew she wasn't going to do shit. Why do you think I left her? She doesn't care about anything but her own interests. She's the most selfish person I know.

"Maybe I should've stayed with you. Being financially unstable and happy with you probably would've been better in hindsight. There were so many factors to take into consideration though, kiddo. Your mom would not let you go, and with the way our legal system works in situations like this, your mom will always win even if she is an unfit parent."

I stared at him with desperate curiosity, wondering what was going on in his head. "What are you thinking right now?"

He sat at the foot of the bed, a lot further from where he previously was. "I don't know."

My heart was falling into pieces by the second as I sat there watching him take it all in. "Can we make this work?"

He stared at me. "What do you mean 'make this work'?"

"I don't know..." I looked down at my lap.

"Madelyn. I need time to think."

"Dad..." I reached out to him, pleading.

He got up, and came toward me, and kissed me on my forehead. "I'll be back, babe. I need to go out for a drink."

"Are you serious, right now!?"

"Madelyn, just let me take this in, okay?"

"Are you leaving me?" I began to shiver uncontrollably, scared out of my mind.

"No. I'm not leaving you. I will be back. I want you to calm down and rest for a little while." He got up and walked to my doorway before turning back toward me. "I'll be back in a little while, Maddie."

"Promise?"

"I swear."

As he walked out of the door I started to bawl my eyes out again. I continued to shiver violently. All I could think of was how fucking stupid I was; How I wanted to die, and how I would be without any family after today. He won't want me as a daughter, and he was legally able to kick me out of his house if he wanted to. I deserved it though. Just delete me from this world.

As I laid there emotionally depleting myself, I drifted off into sleep. The worst nightmares of my dad leaving me started to creep into my head. In my nightmares, I found myself in this house, but it was all dark and empty. All of his stuff was gone, and as I tried calling him, it went directly to a disconnected number. I started running everywhere looking for him, calling out to him, but he wasn't anywhere to be found, and as I was about to give up, I get nudged out of my slumber...

-

I opened my eyes to my dad carrying me in his arms. "Dad?" I said groggily.

"Shh." He kissed me on my cheek.

"Where are we going?"

"Just moving you to my bedroom. I was sitting in the kitchen and heard you calling for me in your sleep."

"Oh," I said rubbing my eyes.

"Do you want to spend the night with me in my room? Just so you know I'm not going anywhere?" he said.

"Okay. Are you still mad at me?"

"No, I'm not mad at you, angel."

"Do you still want me as a daughter?"

He looked down at me with a quizzical look on his face.

"What kind of question is that? Of course I do. That'll never ever change, Madelyn."

I smiled as he gently placed me on the edge of his bed.

"Are you going to lay down with me?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna go put some other clothes on real quick."

"Just take your jeans off."

"Madelyn, no."

"I assume you have boxers on."

"Yeah, but-"

"Do you even have pajamas, Dad?"

"No. I was going to put on another pair of pants."

I chuckled at him.

"Just take your jeans off and lay down, please. It'll be uncomfortable for both of us if you lay in bed with your work pants on, clean or not."

After rubbing his forehead, he conceded.

"Fine."

After he took his pants off and laid in bed, he let out a long sigh.

I turned my head and looked at him. "Is it okay if you hold me?"

"Yeah, sure, kid. Come here." He patted the area next to him.

I scooted up against him and nestled my back up against his chest. "Thank you."

He kissed the back of my head and wrapped his arm around me. "No problem."

As I laid there, I couldn't help but feel like nothing was solved. I confessed my love to him, but he just left and didn't discuss it further. Is he going to ignore it? Pretend like it was never discussed? Is he lying about not being upset with me? I don't think he'd lie to me, but my mind is drowning in so many negative thoughts and emotions that I couldn't help but be pessimistic.

"Dad?"

"Hm?"

"Are you drunk?"

He let out a small chuckle.

"No. I'm a little buzzed. I only had two beers and a shot, why?"

"Is it okay if we continue talking?"

"Yeah. I thought you might want some sleep before we continued that discussion."

"I'm fine."

"Okay then." He adjusted himself a little as if he were bracing physically for the emotional onslaught.

"Is it okay if I ask you questions like you did with me in my room earlier?"

"Sure."

"You'll be honest, right? Even if it is something you don't want to answer?"

"Yeah. I'm not really one to lie, Maddie."

"Okay. I'm just making sure. So... For question one: Where did you go when you left after our discussion?"

"Honey, that's not really the same type of question formatting that I used. I asked you 'Yes-No' questions."

I sighed at him. "Whatever. Work with me here, please?"

He chuckled.

"Fine, fine. I went to the liquor store to pick up a six-pack and a bottle of whiskey."

"Did you come home after that?"

"Yeah. When I came back you were already asleep. I was in the kitchen, drinking."

I grabbed his arm that was wrapped around me and hugged it as I ready myself to ask more difficult questions.

"Do you think less of me after our talk?"

"Christ no, Madelyn. I promise you don't ever have to worry about that. You could murder a person and you'd still always be my baby girl."

"Does that mean you're not going to kick me out?"

He paused and grabbed my chin to turn my head so I could see his face. "What the heck is going on with you, Maddie? You're not going anywhere. Read my lips, kid. "I-Love-You." Even if this house burns down and we have to be homeless until I find somewhere else for us, we'll be homeless together. Do you understand me?

"Yes, sir, sorry." I smiled, a little more at ease after hearing that. "What did you talk to Alice about when she called?"

"She told me that you made her feel uneasy and that you asked her what it felt like for me to fuck her." He let out a frustrated sigh. "Speaking of which, I'm still disappointed in you for that."

"I know." I frowned. "Okay, next question: When you first saw me at the airport when you picked me up, did you find me attractive?"

"Madelyn." He sighed.

"What? You even said I was beautiful, did you not?"

He grumbled and shifted himself. "Next question."

"You can't do that!" I let out a small chuckle. "You said you wouldn't lie."

"I'm not lying. I'm just choosing not to answer the question."

"Dad," I whined at him, turning my head and pouting at him.

"Yes, okay? You are very attractive. I didn't recognize you for a split second when I saw you because you've changed so much from the little girl that I'm used to into a stunningly, beautiful young lady."

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" I smiled.

He muttered under his breath, "Yeah, for you, it wasn't."

I laughed and faced forward again. "Okay, um... let's see. When was the last time you had sex?"

"Maddie, this is getting ridiculous."

I bit my lip and hugged his arm tighter. "Do you want me to stop?"

"I'd like if you asked me some relevant questions. I figure you would want to discuss what needed to be discussed."

"Sorry..." I frowned and sunk down a little.

He grabbed the back of my shirt and tugged me back up. "It's okay, princess. I'll answer whatever questions you want. It's just I have work in nine hours, and I want to discuss as much as we can before I h-"

"Work?" My heart sunk as I began to panic. I clung harder to him, digging my nails into his arm.

"Yeah, work. Ow..." He winced and tried to pull his arm away. "Madelyn, you're hurting Daddy."

"Don't leave me please, please, please, Dad." I started to cry as my heart rate shot up.

"Madelyn, let go." He scooted his lower arm from under me and sat up, having to pry my hands from his arm.

"Please." I instinctively attempted to reconnect my grip onto his arm.

"Cupcake, I have to go to work. I'm sorry." He held both of my arms together by my wrists while talking to me.

"Dad please, I'm begging you..."

"Fuck... Madelyn, I can't be ducking out of work."

I stared at him with puppy eyes, my bottom lip quivering.

"Fine, dammit. This can't become a thing though, kid. I'm Serious."

I smiled, turned around and hugged him tight. "Thank you!"

"Yeah, yeah."

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and called work. We were no longer spooning as he was sitting up in bed, and I was half laying on him with my head on his chest. He told them that he had an emergency to take care of, and he'd be back in the next day. While he was talking, I held his hand, feeling the coarseness of his skin, and comparing his giant hand to mine, lining up our hands to see the difference.