The April Fool

I was quite groggy when I woke up and found I couldn't move. The surface I was on was cold and hard, then I realised she had wheeled me into her Clinic attached to our house. I looked around for Phil or Grace but could see neither but I did notice I was naked and my hands, arms and chest were strapped down and my legs and feet were strapped wide apart and in the air into the stirrups attached to her "Monkey table" as I jokingly used to refer it as. I could see all of my clothes neatly folded on her bench and I knew I couldn't move until Vicky released me so I called out to her in anticipation of whatever kinky things she had in mind.

Vicky still looked angry as she walked into the room carrying a stainless steel bowl with ice in it. This could be interesting I thought. I smiled at her and she just shook her head at me and just looked at me. Her face was pale and I sensed something was wrong to make her the way she was. She was definitely angry but there was almost a sorry expression there as well. I asked, "What have you got planned for me Vicky? This seems a bit extreme but I trust you dear. It looks like I will be The April Fool this year."

She bit her bottom lip and said, "You shouldn't have cheated on me James. I'm sorry but you made me do it. I am not going to let you fuck every woman that comes into our house like you father did." I wasn't in a position to argue but responded, "That was uncalled for, speaking about my father like that; he loved your mother so much and I had never even looked at another women; I don't need to as I had always had you." Then as an afterthought I asked, "Vic, I made you do what?" I was a little worried but was still expecting a prank of some sort and thought she would have Phil running in here any moment with his video camera.

"James, while you were unconscious I removed your testicles. I fixed you; you know, neutered you just like I do to randy dogs. James quite bluntly, I castrated you!"

This is some prank I thought and wondered who thought this up. I really was an April Fool this year. Her acting was great. I saw her eyes mist up and she seemed to be more sad than angry now then added, "You caused this and you will have to live with what you have done to me and the kids just like I will have to live with what I have done to stop you. You only have yourself to blame. You know I'm not allowed to touch people so I could be in serious trouble but it is worth it to make sure you never stray on me again." Tears filled her eyes and she looked into the stainless steel bowl as she put it on the bench next to a tray with bloodied surgical instruments and gauze that looked the part. She picked up a needle with thread attached.

This was a world class prank I thought to myself; it beats empty gas bottles or moving hands on clocks. The script was good and Vicky's acting was excellent and I looked around for Phil or maybe just his camera running. Deciding to play the part I was supposed to, I said in a high pitched voice as I strained on the straps and lifted my head, "Oh god, my wife has castrated me, cut my nuts off to stop me looking at other women; I'll never be able to father the last child I wanted." I knew straight away I shouldn't have used that line but it made Vicky look at me again. When I had her attention I said, "This was a great prank Vicky. Where's the camera? When is Phil going to walk in on us?"

"I'm sorry James, but this isn't a prank. I wish it was now but you shouldn't have done what you did. I was so angry with you. So angry; I couldn't help it. I need to finish and sow you up." Then I remembered the look I couldn't remember earlier. It was the same when she walked into the coffee shop when I was with Amy.

All that straining and looking around was making my blood circulate again and I could feel some pain in my scrotum. I lifted my head and looked down. Well I could see my cock and then I saw a surgical clamp. No wonder my scrotum hurt; she had it clamped. It was starting to hurt now and I wanted it removed. I couldn't reach down and remove it myself as I was still strapped in. I realized then that the clamp certainly added another element of realism and if I hadn't know better I would have been screaming bloody murder. I still couldn't see where the camera was hidden. Maybe Frank or Sharon were in on this and had lent her one of their new miniature Wi-Fi ones they had been showing me.

"Vicky, this was a great prank but you can let me go now please. My scrotum is really hurting now; at least take the clamp off me then take the straps off me. I know that you would never hurt me but it will look good when we replay it."

"James, this isn't a prank. I was given proof that you and Grace have been cheating on Phil and me. I don't know what Phil is going to do about Grace but you won't be straying anywhere now. Wasn't sex with me good enough? If you wanted more you only had to ask; you know I was always ready and would never say no. Not even to the kinky stuff you liked. I would have liked another baby as well but you should have thought about that before you fucked Grace. I am happy with three kids and now you won't need a vasectomy."

"What in god's name makes you even think I would ever want to fuck Grace? How can you have proof if I have never been with her in fact I have never even kissed her? We saw her topless at the beach last holiday remember but you were topless as well; is that your proof?" I was starting to hope it was still a prank but my scrotum was really hurting now.

"Don't bullshit to me James. Phil was over earlier today while you were at the shop and gave me an envelope. He looked like he had been crying. He said he had hired Frank and he had just been delivered these this morning. There were glossy colour photos in the envelope of you and Grace fucking in bed so don't try to lie your way out of this. You're lucky you still have your penis. I almost cut it off as well."

This was going downhill really fast and I began to hope deep down this was still a prank but I was getting the feeling Vicky was too genuine. If she really had castrated me for something I hadn't done there would be trouble; big trouble. I began to feel quite ill just thinking about my scrotum and nuts gone forever and Vicky using it as a money purse like they do in Australia with Kangaroo scrotums, as she started to move between my legs with the needle and thread. She looked into my eyes and said sadly, "Honey, no one but us will ever know and I will keep loving you; not the neighbours; not anyone; not even mom."

Now I was seriously worried. "This is CRAP Vicky and this prank has gone way too far! Please take the clamp off me; it fucking hurts now and then let me go!" I stopped for a moment then added, "Vicky, did you hear what you just said about Frank taking those photos? He is my best friend and would never do that to me; you know that and the next thing, do you remember what Grace gave Phil for his birthday last month? Can you at least take the clamp off while you think about it but don't take too fucking long! It really does hurt you know!"

Vicky looked up at me and her mouth opened and I knew she remembered. "That's fucking right!" I yelled. "A program for his computer to let him Photoshop his digital photos. You cannot be serious that you believed anything he said on April Fool's Day can you? You didn't even think he was setting you or me up for something later tonight did you? Don't tell me you believed him? Please for god's sake please tell me you didn't believe him! I can't fucking believe you of all people would think I would ever cheat on the only woman I have ever loved?" I wanted to drive that nail home real bad.

"Oh nooooooooo!" screamed Vicky, as she dropped the needle next to me and started pulling at her hair. I could see she was starting to panic as I pleaded for her to let me loose. She grabbed the phone on the bench and hit a speed dial number. I heard Frank pick up, "Frank did you take any photos of James and Grace together? Don't ask, Frank! Did you do a job for Phil and take any photos of James and Grace? You didn't. Thanks. Bye." Then she hung up and hit speed dial again. "Phil you asshole, get over here now and bring Grace with you! We're in my clinic and just come straight in through the house." Then she slammed the phone back into the cradle.

Minutes later, Vicky was still shaking her head from side to side pulling at her hair as Phil and Grace raced through the internal door from the house. Phil looked at me and said, "What the fuck?" Grace just looked at me and said something about big feet being right as she toured the table I was still strapped into. As she walked past my hips I saw her staring at my cock and she stopped and smiled as she kept looking.

My attention was brought back to Vicky as she threw the envelope with the photos at Phil and screamed at him, "Were those photos you gave me fakes? I have already fucking spoken to Frank and he told me he never did a job for you!" She was getting louder, "Did you Photoshop those pictures?"

Phil seemed too interested in looking at me strapped naked to the table and asked, "Are you two into kinky stuff?" Vicky pushed his shoulder hard to get his attention, "Phil, just answer my fucking question! Are those photos fakes?"

Phil looked at her and smiled then answered, "Yep. They're really good. They took a long time to get right. It was really me and Grace but I found a photo of James from our holiday that suited and stuck his head on my body. Did you think they were real? We had a prank planned for tonight but seeing James like this is much better. Keep him like that until I get my camera, will you?"

"Phil, you're a fucking cunt! You asshole! You, you bastard! I thought they were real and I have castrated James because of your fucking stupid joke!" she screamed at him just as Grace moved around in front of my legs to get a different perspective on my cock. I had never heard Vicky use language like that before and was really starting to worry this had gone far beyond a joke and wasn't very happy when Grace's eyes opened wide and had a look of horror on her face. She turned away and vomited. Now I was really worried. Had my loving wife really done what she had said?

Vicky came back and picked up the needle again but this had gone on far enough. I screamed, "Don't you fucking touch me again! You stay away from me!" "But Honey I have to sow you up or you will need to go to hospital." she pleaded. I spat back, "Well I will go to hospital then! Get the fuck away from me!" She looked at me, "But Honey, I will end up in jail if they find out what I have done." "If you fucking touch me again you will have to chain me up for the rest of my fucking life cos I'll just fucking walk away and leave you! Now phone an ambulance and stay the fuck away from me! Will someone fucking let me loose now!" I yelled.

Phil went to release me but I heard Vicky tell him I could injure myself more if I moved, so he stayed away. I noticed the prick grinning a bit. I decided then I was going to fuck him over big time one day soon. Vicky looked at me with pleading eyes as she picked the phone up again and dialled 911. I desperately wanted someone to take the clamp of me and remove the straps. I called out to Phil to help me get the straps off and to help me get free as Vicky was talking to the emergency operator. Her voice seemed mixed and I could hear anger and sorrow at the same time. "Please, I need an ambulance. It's an emergency; please send someone. My husband has been castrated. Please hurry!" They obviously identified our address from our phone number when Vicky called and answered "Yes" to several questions. I could hear the operator becoming louder as she thought there was a serious problem when she asked who was screaming for help in the background. Vicky answered that I was then "Yes" to a few more questions then, "He's still strapped to the table. Please hurry." I was still screaming to be released.

Vicky just dropped the phone without hanging up as she pushed Phil to the outer door, unlocked it and pushed him out telling him to direct the paramedics in here. I noticed Grace kept looking at my cock and wondered if Phil didn't quite make the grade anymore; at least I took my mind of my problem for a few minutes but then I starting to get seriously worried about my scrotum or lack off. I kept calling out for someone to please help me. I was in so much pain now. I could hear the operator talking on the phone to me still so she must have been hearing me pleading for help. Vicky re-entered the clinic and was crying as she just stood there looking at me shaking her head and saying over and over again, "Please forgive me. I'm so sorry." I kept calling for someone to release me and the operator, god bless her heart was trying to re-assure me that help was on its way.

I could hear the wail of multiple sirens getting closer from different directions. They were so loud now and I heard the screech to tyres turning and hard braking. I heard a voice on a loud speaker telling Phil to put his hands in the air. Then police seemed to appear from everywhere; from the inner door to the house and the outer door. Their guns were drawn and they were screaming at everyone to get on the floor. Vicky was obviously in shock now and just stood there still crying and shaking her head until she was thrown to the floor and handcuffed. Grace ended up lying in her own vomit and was cuffed as well just as Phil was forced back through the front door with his hands also cuffed. He was followed by several paramedics who, judging by their gear they carried were expecting the worst. I wondered if the operator had overestimated what was happening here. Thinking back she must have thought there was a dangerous situation as the response was over the top but thankfully very swift.

All I wanted was someone to let me loose so I could take the clamp of my scrotum. I was pleading for anyone to please help me. The paramedics attended me but took their time checking me out before they released me and transferred me to their trolley without touching the bloody clamp. I heard Vicky as she called out to the paramedics, "I castrated him by mistake. His testicles and scrotum are packed in ice in the bowl on the bench. Please see if they can re-attach them?" Then she burst into tears again.

I knew this had started from as a joke but the silly bitch had really cut my balls off over a stupid prank from next door. I stared at my wife for a moment as the police dragged her from the floor. She saw the anger in my face as they wheeled me out the door and I heard her call out to me and burst into tears again. I remember seeing Frank and Sharon arrive and running to me to see if I was OK when they saw me on the trolley. They were loading me into the ambulance carefully as Vicky was led past me; her hands handcuffed behind her back and her face full of tears as she sobbed. She looked to me for forgiveness but I just looked away as the doors were shut. I felt a prick in my arm and everything started to go black again.

I woke in a white room with a nurse in attendance and a policeman sitting outside the door. As soon as I was fully conscious the nurse left and returned with a doctor. He turned out to be a specialist surgeon who told me I had been in theatre for some time. He was careful how he phrased things but basically told me that my balls could not be reattached so they had removed all the sperm they could find and it had been frozen in case I wanted some more children at some time in the future. The good news was that they had successfully reattached my scrotum and I had two surgical quality plastic testicles in there now so that I looked normal again; or would when the swelling went down. I had mixed feelings about what I was hearing. I was depressed I had been castrated and my real nuts were gone forever but at least everything would look normal so I could go on a nude beach again if I ever wanted to or wear my DT's with confidence. I suddenly remembered Grace staring at my cock and would have to remember never to let her near me. Everything was better that I could have hoped given the circumstances.

He left and the Urologist visited and gave me the information I needed to hear.

He spoke in medical terms and it didn't mean much to me until he said, "And the best news is that we can replace the testosterone with a simple needle every month or you can even get implants that can last 4 or 5 months, or if you want, daily tablets. It all depends on what you want." He didn't exactly tell me what I really wanted to know though, so I asked, "That all sound great, but can I have normal sex again; you know get hard and cum?"

He looked at me like I hadn't listened to a word he said then answered,

"Absolutely, you can have perfectly normal sex, or any others sort of sex if you want." I think that was a joke to lighten to mood then he continued, "If you want any more children they will have to be through artificial insemination and once you start getting testosterone you will hardly notice any difference in your sex life. We should start you on testosterone soon because within a month your body will have none left in it which means no more hard penis and no more intercourse. You choose if you want injections, implants or tablets; whatever is easiest for you." As he talked on for ages I nodded at the right times but I was only half listening as I was thinking of the good times with Vicky.

I loved Vicky so much it hurt but she had given me the unkindest cut of all and I didn't know if we still had much of a future but I knew I wanted to be with her; but what if I couldn't trust her again? From experience I knew once I was released that I would be subjected to untold numbers of cruel jokes from you know who, in fact anybody. Would we have to move interstate or just me? My mind was spinning at a million miles an hour but my years in business had taught me to think clearly and formulate a plan that would work to my favour. I desperately needed some of my own serious pay back for what she had done to me and I also wanted to be alone for a while.

I looked up at Specialist after digesting what I could remember of what he had just told me and said, "Ok, can we try the daily tablets for say, ummm six months or even up to eighteen months? What about dosage? Is that going to be trial and error?" Then I remembered he had covered that already. "Oh, and another thing, I don't want this blabbed around the hospital OK? If I find I'm being talked or laughed about, my lawyers will be directed to sue everyone involved. This is to remain strictly confidential. If this makes the news I am going to be swamped with film crews. Can I be completely isolated?" I watched him scribbling madly in the patient notes. Then I added, "I want absolutely no visitors except on my approval and no information given to anyone over the phone. As far as this hospital is concerned I am not in here. I find this whole thing extremely distressing and I don't want to get any more depressed than I am now."

I watched as he printed in largish letters, "DEPRESSED". That might help me with some pay-back I thought. He scribbled more notes and told me that it would not be a problem but would cost more and he understood how I felt. "What total bullshit!" I thought. "How on earth could he possibly know what it is like to be castrated by your loving wife for something you didn't do?" But I said nothing. He then added that I would be in hospital for about two weeks for my scrotum to heal. I settled back in my bed to wait and I wondered how Vicky enjoyed being arrested. I used the time wisely and phoned my assistant manager and told her I would be away for two weeks and to have my cell phone and laptop ready for someone to pick up.

I wanted, well needed, to know what was being said at home and at the Bellamy's to at least make me feel that Vicky hadn't castrated me for any other reason than her jealousy. I phoned Frank and he filled me in on what had happened after I was taken away by ambulance. When the police finally decided that Phil and Grace did not actually assist in the crime they were released. Vicky's mother with all the children arrived home to find the whole place was a crime scene and they were not allowed in so they had all spent the night with them. He told me Vicky was in deep shit and was spending the night in jail before bail would be set.