The Struggle Ch. 05b

"No, of course not. I have developed skills by which I can read people's minds, a bit better than other people can, but you will have to live with that. But don't forget, that I failed with the ones who are near and dear to me, for example I failed to read Helena." She smiled gently. "Maybe if I had used my skills on her, things wouldn't have been out of hand."

"Maybe," Rob agreed.

"And you know, it's the same with Helena, she too can read people's minds, and don't underestimate yourself. You are always thinking and always having second thoughts. I noticed that you never act very spontaneously, like most people do. That is something that makes it so hard for us who love you, too: you are often asking yourself what is behind a kind gesture, while it is just that, a kind gesture."

" I'm sorry about that, I truly am. But you know how it is, you are the sum of your experiences in the past. And my past; well, I just can say that I have been hurt far too many times."

"I know. Things will improve. Do you mind if I inform Helena?"

"It's OK. I know It's cruel to leave someone in the dark, I know that." He said this with a soft voice.

With a compassionate look on her face Cathy watched him, then picked up the phone and called Helena. "Hi, it's me." She listened. "Yes, he agreed to talk with you again."

Rob could hear Helena's voice, but he could not follow what she was asking.

"Yes, he is wearing your ring again. Oh, and I proposed to him and he accepted."

Another silence. "Thank you. I will do so."

Cathy kept listening and a smile came upon her face. "No, it's too early for that. You will have to be patient. He is my man for the next week." She smiled at Rob, listening to what Helena had to say.

"He really is wearing your ring once again, and Marion's." Rob could almost hear the sigh of relief from Helena.

"Thanks dear, I will ask him." She turned to Rob. "Helena is asking if she is allowed to visit us tomorrow."

Rob nodded, he knew now he couldn't stay angry. Not after this marriage proposal. Not after the bright future that awaited them where he could become a father.

"But she and I still have some issues, tell her that!" Rob said this rather forcefully.

Cathy just smiled and asked Helena if she had heard him. "She says of course, but nonetheless, she wants to make love to you!"

Rob looked surprised and wanted to say something, but decided against it. He just nodded again and Cathy talked some more. "Yes, at my home tomorrow. Yes, I'm sure he'll understand."

Rob could not hear what they were saying to each other anymore and left Cathy alone. He thought both woman still had things to say and he didn't want to hear it, as he would probably only be embarrassed. Somehow, he once again felt that they all had conspired against him, or better said, they formed a front to lure him into their web and that bothered him a little. But did he really want all to give this up? In his heart he knew that Helena had not been honest with him, not 100%, but she hadn't had affairs, and the things she did to other men were not the things he had done with other women, even. True, it was at the instigation of Helena herself and she knew about it, which did make it different, but it still was sex. She had made promises to them, she was proud of him, and other women had taken advantage of her kindness. She surely must have felt bad about that, probably often.

These thoughts went through his head while he walked outside through the dark, wet streets with Inca and Nicky. As always they sensed his mood and acted accordingly. They kept walking alongside him. They didn't need to - nobody with a sane mind would even try to come close to a man with two Dobermans alongside. Rob felt already better, his mood improved remarkably. He never had expected Cathy to come and to ask him to keep his word. This was a promise he would gladly fulfill, making her pregnant and having a baby, a child. He would become a father - if they were lucky!

With a broad smile on his face he headed back. Tonight they would start their first attempt, and many more to follow.

That night, they made LOVE. It was not the kind that he did with Helena. Helena and he loved each other also very tenderly, but nothing compared to what Cathy and he did. They kissed a lot, lay next to another, looked into their eyes, and kissed again. Their hands caressed their bodies, stroking it, teasing and totally not in a hurry. Although Cathy wore her nylons and a garter belt, she was not sex-driven for sex sake, she just wanted to arouse him, and to let him stay aroused. When Rob penetrated her, she sighed and lay down beneath him. They both knew that the best way to become pregnant was the missionary position. Normally when Helena and Rob were fucking, he let her sit on top, so Helena could indicate the rhythm. With Cathy it was different, now he chose the pace. He tried to withhold his cum as long as possible, he was buried deep inside her and with each thrust Cathy sighed or moaned. She was just enjoying the ride and whispered sweet words into his ear, or just murmured for herself how she enjoyed the feeling of his hard one inside her. Already she had climaxed a couple of times when Rob spurted his hot semen into her, again and again, until he was completely drained out.

Afterwards as they lay in each other's arms, Cathy kissed his nose and eyes, and had a blissful smile. Her eyes were sparkling and she had never felt so happy. After they had taken a short nap, Rob penetrated her once more. This time he could control himself even longer, and Cathy was worn out when he finally climaxed. She had lost count of the number of climaxes. Rob's stamina was endless, for he was in great shape.

The intensity had something to do of course with all the anger, loneliness and emotional pain he was feeling these last couple of days. This togetherness with Cathy couldn't happen at a better time: her talking to him, her reassuring and finally, her proposal was a salve to his wounds.

When they fell asleep finally, Cathy rested her head against his chest, her long blond hair draped over his shoulder. The smell of her hair was the last thing he remembered before he fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

The next morning they were still a bit confused from last night. They never thought that their melding together would have such an impact on their feelings towards each other. Rob always had liked and even loved Cathy, but now his feelings had deepened and he was afraid how this could affect his relationship with Helena. After their long talk he knew Cathy was right, Helena and he were made for each other. But now this... He decided to let it wash over him, embrace it, after all, Cathy would become an official member of their family soon.

All this was becoming very confusing, one moment he was mad at Helena, then he was ready to reconcile, and then Cathy made love to him in the most tender way.

They were both dressed, Rob had already walked his dogs and now they were having breakfast.

"Did you hear me mention to Helena yesterday about my house?" Cathy asked.

"Err, yes. But I had no idea in what context."

"I want to go to my house, when we are finished with our breakfast. I want to go there and spend a couple of days in my home. I have some unattended business to finish, but I also want you to meet someone, since we are engaged now," she smiled at him.

"What about Nicky and Inca?" Rob asked.

"They can come along of course. Just don't forget their food and so on. They are my friends, too," and she tussled Nicky behind her ears. Nicky, in her turn, pressed her head against Cathy's knee. Both Nicky and Inca were fond of Cathy.

Soon after their breakfast they left Rob's place and drove towards Cathy's house.

On arrival Rob put his stuff in Cathy's living room. His dogs made themselves comfortable in their dog baskets, which Rob had brought along as well.

"And who do I need to meet?" He asked Cathy.

"We will go there right now," explained Cathy. She didn't even bother to put on a coat and went outside.

She laid her hand into his and together they walked to the next house.

Rob was confused again and said, "I have been here before. I've met your neighbor, Christina, wasn't that her name? She gave me a petticoat."

Cathy just smiled and led him over the path leading to the front door of Christina's house. They didn't need to ring the bell, it was opened when they stepped on the few steps leading to the front door.

Christina was standing in the doorway, smiling broadly.

"Hello, ehh, Christina. We met before. Cathy wants us to meet again," he stammered, wondering what he was doing here. He had really no idea what the purpose was of this visit.

"Come in, Rob. Hello, my dear," and she kissed Cathy. "Rob, come here," she ordered him, and she kissed him too on the cheek, on both sides.

Cathy led him into the living room, where fresh coffee and pastries were waiting for them. They both sat on the couch, while Christina sat opposite to them, still smiling broadly.

She poured them coffee, and offered them a pastry.

"You have no idea, do you, Rob?" asked Cathy.

"I don't know why you want me to be here, no offence, Christina, but Cathy dragged me to your house, and since we have met before, I'm a little bit confused," he admitted.

"You were given a petticoat," Cathy asked Rob. "A purple one, right?" she turned toward Christina for confirmation.

"Yes dear, it was purple. We both liked that color very much."

"Rob, that petticoat belonged to me. You wore my old petticoat," Cathy explained.

"But Christina, you said that it had belonged to your daughter?" Rob asked.

"Yes Rob, the petticoat had been worn by Cathy, my daughter." Both women laughed at the crestfallen face on Rob.

"Rob, I want you to meet my mother, Christina," Cathy smiled happily.

Rob looked from Christina to Cathy, and back. "But your age, I thought that Christina was just slightly older than you!"

"Eighteen years, to be exact, Rob. Thank you for the compliment," Christina smiled.

She continued: "I was very young, when I had Cathy. My husband, her father, died in a car crash when Cathy was twelve years old. It was a terrible shock, even more for Cathy than for me. Cathy needed personal guidance through those first teenage years. That is how she became aware of the strength and healing power of psychiatrists and psychologists. She decided to become one herself, and that is what she is now, a great psychiatrist. I am so glad that she met you, although I'm not totally convinced about the relationship that the two of you are going to commit to. But I'm probably old fashioned, and as long you are happy, I don't mind. From what I hear and see, you have found each other and even are planning children."

"Yes, mother..." Rob acknowledged. "Ever since we've met, we have been together. You know, of course, that I am married to Helena. But somehow, Helena and Cathy both convinced me to make an official arrangement with her, too. I find it odd, too, but I've noticed that we love each other, without jealousy. I have no idea how they do it, I would be jealous, but maybe it's a man's nature, to claim a woman for himself. Somehow Helena and Cathy have worked things out. So yes, we are to get married, in a way."

"Not to mention that the both of you want a child?" Christina asked.

"Yes. Helena is not totally without second thoughts. Since she can't have any children by herself, she wants Cathy and me to have children. I think she wants an heir."

"Rob, you are doing her an injustice. She wants an heir, that is true, but the main reason is for Helena to hear the sound of laughter from children in the rooms and halls of her house. When the children are her own family, her happiness will be total. I think she has been longing for children for a very long time, and now that there is the possibility..." Cathy defended her friend.

"I know," Rob said curtly. "But still I have second thoughts, again," he quickly said when Cathy looked at him with an accusatory glance. "I don't have the right to think like this, but somehow I have the feeling that we are being used."

"So what, Rob. Don't you want to have a child with me?"

"Of course I want a child with you."

"Then there is no problem. Allow Helena to have a child, not her own, but from her husband. Think about her happiness."

"I won't mention it again. Please don't tell Helena about my second thoughts. But for a moment I thought about myself as just being a sperm donor."

"Don't. If you manage to get me pregnant, the child that will be born was made in love. I dare you to disagree."

"Yes, you are right," he smiled at Cathy, took her hand, and kissed it.

Christina, his mother-in-law, had listened to their conversation with a smile on her face.

"You two already sound like a long married couple."

"I'm sorry. It's just that I feel a bit cornered sometimes."

"Do you think, that it would be different if you were only married to Cathy? No matter what, the woman decides when she wants a baby, not the man. Don't credit yourself. Cathy wants a child. Helena wants a child. You want a child. Let's face it, you don't have much time left. You're not getting younger, and more importantly neither is Cathy. Should she become pregnant, count your blessings."

And so the 'discussion' ended. Cathy's mother gave her blessings to the couple and they talked a lot about Cathy's youth and so on. They stayed for dinner and after having coffee as desert, they said goodbye and departed for Cathy's house.

Rob went for a walk with his dogs again and when he came back, Cathy was waiting for him in her bedroom. Totally naked this time, no nylons or corsets or other lingerie, just her own soft skin. Again they made love, this time a little less passionately, but nevertheless very tenderly, and in the position that gave Cathy the most chance to become pregnant.

Making up.

The following day, Sunday, Helena arrived. That morning she had phoned Cathy again, to make sure she was still allowed to come. When Rob opened the front door and she just stood there, with hanging shoulders and her head down, he felt a lot of compassion for her. Here she was, his wife, and she was a mess.

He grabbed her chin, pushed it upwards, gave a smile and kissed her, slightly, carefully, then took her in his arms and held her close.

Helena started to cry and between sobs Rob could hear her say, "I'm so sorry, I'm so very sorry."

In the meantime Nicky and Inca heard her voice and jumped towards her, trying to push her and licking Helena's hands. They were obviously very glad to see her again. Rob and Helena had a hard time turning them away, but finally Nicky and Inca got the message.

Rob took Helena's hand and led her into the living room. Cathy accepted her coat and soon they were sitting on the couch, Helena in the middle.

It was still early in the afternoon, but Cathy decided they needed something strong, and instead of offering coffee, she opened a bottle of red wine. After some chitchat about Cathy's proposal to Rob, Cathy decided that it was time to clear up the mess once and for all.

"Helena, let's cut the crap and start talking. I want you to be honest with Rob and tell him what happened in your past. I know you claim to have told him everything that there is to know, but you seem to have forgotten a tiny, little thing." Cathy was joking with her, but she thought it would be for the best to start the conversation with a small joke. It wasn't really funny, but there would be plenty of time for tears to come, because she knew it would a very emotional afternoon.

"Yes. I will answer all of your questions. No more secrets," Helena replied. "Rob, what do you want to know? Apart from being a Mistress before I met you, I don't have secrets, that is to say, I have nothing to hide. You know, I was so very much afraid that you would find out that I was a Mistress, and that when you found out, that eventually, you would leave me. You have to believe me! That is the only reason I didn't tell you."

Cathy started "You told me you were into BDSM for over 25 years?"

"Yes. I am a bit ashamed to tell this story, but after my parents died, I was searching. Although I had some male companions, nobody seemed to fit into my life. You know I was no virgin, Rob, but I'll tell you, you were the first man (and the last) who has had admittance to my pussy in many, many, years. I had slept with 2 men before you, probably when I was 21 or so. Sometime later I joined a BDSM club - I started as a submissive, and there a few Masters also penetrated me - with my consent, of course."

She continued "At a certain moment in play one time I had a bad experience, it was an accident, and to make it up to me the one who hurt me offered to be my sub. So we switched roles. I liked it. I liked it to be a sub, and I admit, in those days I was horny as hell - I still am," she chuckled. "Anyway, being a Mistress was also fun, so for a couple of years I became a switch. I had a few play partners then, who knew me well, male and female, though I tended to have the best orgasms while I played with females. In that particular BDSM club, there were also a few trans women of varying kinds. They were also 'Mistresses' and a new world opened for me. They had as a 'specialization' 'forcing' men into women's clothes.

I became aroused when I saw that, I found it extremely sexy, and at the same time it touched me as well. I was moved, and since then I always wanted someone to be my husband who could be male and female at the same time. There are many who are like you, Rob, but there wasn't anybody I felt attracted to. So I gave that idea up and I kept playing, usually only with women. When I got older, that became a bit boring as well, and I didn't frequently visit the clubs anymore. At a certain moment an old factory went bankrupt, and I bought the factory and the area around it. I had contractors rebuild it to my taste and with the help of other people from the 'scene' -- in fact one of those you saw me whipping."

"Hmm," was all what Rob said.

"Sorry, like I said, he was just an old friend from old times, he and his wife."

"Ok. I'll come to that later - or are you finished talking?" Rob asked.

"Almost. So, I bought that old factory and it became 'the Factory'. Because secrecy was critical for our potential members, I made a rule of 'by invitation only' and I also made sure that only a few people knew about its existence. By the way, I heard from Michelle that you were bothered by some of the people there, and they have been officially warned. Another mistake like that and they are out, for life. So, should you visit that place someday again with me, I expect you will receive some apologies. To go on with my 'secret history': at the Factory I met Michelle and Marion. Marion became a dear friend, and I was the one who comforted her when her husband, John, died. You and Jenny did the same, and through this connection I heard your name for the first time. Marion told me a bit more about you, your cross-dressing, your going along with Jenny, although reluctantly, and when Marion held her little party for her friends, I just had to see you. So, now you know that I wasn't there by accident."

"So you liked me because you knew I was a cross-dresser?"

"Yes. That made you attractive to me. And then I was able to comfort you, when Marion's party went wrong. We appeared to be attracted to each other, and I fell in love with you immediately. The moment I set eyes on you, I was lost. You were wearing your waitress uniform and I thought it was so cute..."

"Cute???"

"Touching. Sweet. You were so nice to those women, and myself. I wanted to take you to my home there and then. Because things went wrong when I wasn't there, I took the opportunity to 'steal' you from Marion and Jenny." She was silent for a few moments.