The X-Tests

Dr Mills looked at me and smiled. "Go on."

"Well, like I said she was very attractive but she'd really gone to town. Short tight dress, really low cut to show off her cleavage, a deep blue it was. Matching shoes, maybe 4" heels, black stockings - I'm sure they were stockings. And very nicely made up indeed, all the accessories, gold earrings, rings, long nails, lovely make-up and so on. She looked every young man's wet dream, it was difficult for me with Lara there in T-shirt and jeans, I'd have loved her to wear something like that."

Even as I was speaking, a mental image of Auntie popped into my head. I shivered slightly at the recollection of the tight dress, then made an effort to calm down and continue.

"But it was when Auntie's date turned up, his eyes were on stalks. Quite natural really. Even in the two minutes he was in the house, she was taunting him with a flash of thigh and so on. The poor guy hadn't a chance, he did everything she asked, he was like a puppy on a lead. It was the power which struck me, she could do anything she wanted with him. I admired her for that in some way, even more than for just looking great. I wondered what it would be like to have such power, and how I could get it. "

"And you and Lara?"

I paused. There was no reason not to be honest.

"Well, we had great sex that evening. But I admit, I didn't to her, that in my mind as we did it I was screwing Aunt June. I felt a bit guilty about that for a while afterwards but we hardly saw each other after that."

"OK. So when did you actually dress up for the first time?"

"About a week later, I was back home and on my own for an evening. I tried on some of my elder sister's clothes, seeing if I could get the same effect."

"And did you?"

"Nowhere near. But I did continue on-and-off for a year or so, until I went to college."

We chatted on for a few minutes, me giving Dr. Mills more and more details of my increasing involvement with 'cross-dressing', buying things for myself, hiding it in the loft and eventually coming out to my wife a few months earlier. I had been delighted that she hadn't taken it too badly. She seemed to be able to cope with my occasional dressing up, even with my buying women's magazines to look at the hints and tips on clothing, on accessories and make-up and so on.

Finally I had to admit to maybe going too far and the 'climax' we had. That happened when my wife realised that though she had apologised to me about buying a new dress for a party, I had myself bought a more expensive dress for myself just to wear about the house. And she had found out just how much I had spent on a pair of black seamed stockings.

"OK Victor, thanks for putting it all in perspective. Now, what about sex?"

"Sorry?"

"Sex. You have to admit this whole thing is in some way sex-related. After all you are dressing as a woman. And, if I read what Kathy and you are saying, you positively like looking and behaving like a sexy woman, at least at home. High heels and stockings and all. So how has all this affected your sex life? Still getting enough?"

I was very surprised that Dr. Mills put the question quite so bluntly but I realised I had to answer honestly, to give her the full picture.

"Well. I would be lying if I said that there has been no effect at all. Really there wasn't much until a few months ago. That's when Kathy started getting really worried and I have to admit so did I. I really didn't want to stop dressing, I still don't really. But I really can't do - it - as well or as often as I used to. Maybe it's nothing to do with the TV stuff, I don't know..."

"OK Victor, that's really for me to try to find out. I have to ask you about your sex life. And in fact about your sexual habits. Have you fucked another woman since your wedding?"

I was a little shocked, I hoped she would have realised from the way Kathy and I behaved that none of that had ever done anything like that, we wouldn't.

"No!" I almost shouted.

"OK Victor, keep your hair on, I have to ask. Any 'different' sexual habits? Doing it in weird places? Anal sex maybe."

"ER - no, we've always been pretty straightforward in that respect."

I must have expressed my doubts the way I answered, Dr. Mills looked up from her notepad and smiled at me.

"Don't worry, Victor, lots of people do different things even within stable relationships. Clive used to, you know, my husband, used to screw his ex-girlfriend up the arse. Before he met me of course."

I was amazed, first that her husband would do such a thing. I'd only met him the once of course, and very briefly at that. He'd seemed such a straight guy in every sense of the word. An ordinary business man, a lawyer I think she'd said. And also I was surprised that she'd actually told me. Maybe...

"And no, before you even think it, we haven't. I think Clive is maybe a little disappointed, he's suggested it one or two times but it's not my scene. We prefer - well - just plain 'vanilla' sex, I think that's how it's referred to. "

Dr. Mills went on for quite a while longer, asking me about my sexual habits, she seemed a little disappointed when I had nothing at all saucy to talk about. Eventually she stood up.

"OK Victor, I think that will do us today. Same time next week?"

Very quickly she shook my hand and showed me out. I drove home, thinking about the conversation, thinking about what she had revealed to me - and everything I had told her. Kathy was obviously very interested when I got home. As soon as I had sneaked upstairs - 'to go to the loo' - and hidden the fishnets I gave her an almost complete report on the session. She seemed disappointed that I was going back again.

"Look honey, obviously she couldn't do everything in such a short time. Anyway next week she's going to do some tests on me. "

"Tests?"

I had wondered myself exactly what she had meant. After another week without any tranny involvement at all I drove back to the doctor's house. This time I had managed to keep my promise. No lingerie, no make-up, no nothing.

"Well done Victor" she said when I told her. "OK, sit down here please, as I promised I want to try out a test here. Just roll up your sleeve please."

I did as she asked, she wrapped a plastic strip round my lower arm and then connected it to a notebook computer on her desk.

"This is an amazing test, Victor. Very efficient. Very effective. It used to take over an hour to do with two of us and loads of flashcards, then maybe four hours to analyse. Now it takes twenty minutes and three key presses and gives instant analysis. The wonders of modern technology. So get comfortable now."

I sat. Waiting. As the doctor finished typing on the keyboard and setting things up she turned and smiled at me.

"I'm ready, Victor. Don't worry. All this does is measure your responses, your heart rate, pulse intensity, sweat rate and so on. Five indicators in all, when you respond to the images on screen. Let's try the dry run first. When I press 'ENTER' the program will show a series of pictures. Press this keypad, within ten seconds. '1' if you like the picture, '3' if you hate it and '2' for in-between. Like this, go on."

She pressed the 'ENTER' key and a picture appeared, of a boy and girl sat on a bench eating ice cream. I had to smile, it wasn't at all what I expected. I looked at the doctor, she smiled too and indicated that I should respond. I pressed '1'. It was a nice photo. Other pictures followed, a view of the countryside, a crashed car, a map of England with rivers marked on it - I pressed '2' for that - and a final photograph of a gun.

"Right, that's just the test, the calibration run to get the control levels. There are fifty pictures here. Are you ready? Off we go."

And the first this time was different. It was of Madonna, at her most vamp-ish, pointed bra and fishnets, looking just plain lustful. I just had to press '1'. Immediately the image changed. To another 'woman', except I knew it wasn't. The pose was similar, the outfit was black and leather and shiny and tight and lust personified - and I recognised it. Heck, I'd downloaded it, that very .jpg was on my hard drive at home.

Maxine Maxx, female impersonator extraordinaire, according to her web-site one of the most popular - in every sense of the word - transvestites in the Midlands. I'd visited her site often, just fantasising one day that I'd meet her on Broad Street or in the Palisades or wherever. Her 'About Me' page showed me she was local, well local-ish. OK, I could dream couldn't I? I snapped out of my reverie and pressed '1' and a photo of the F.A. Cup appeared. Weird!

I don't remember what I pressed then, maybe '1' or '2', or many of the other photos which came up. Except two or three which stood out. One followed a picture of two dogs - at it. Or rather a dog and a bitch, you could see the dog's hard rod up his mate. The next was a man - doing it to a bitch, a dog bitch that is. I'm not into bestiality of any sort, it just revolted me - I pushed '3'. I'd have given it four if I'd been able to, my stomach turned. The next image was of an apple!

But most were of people including two of sex scenes with children, '3' again, both of them. There were loads of other lewd pictures too, cut into scenes of countryside, fruit, clothes, household appliances, maybe half sex-scenes, half neutral images. Some tranny pictures, some gay scenes, some of straight sex. James Bond was in there somewhere, stripped to the waist, and one of the Spice Girls in a state of undress.

The final one I remember, at first I thought it was to calm me down after the excitement, it showed a couple walking hand-in-hand through a forest. Then I realised. 'She' was Maxine Maxx again, in ordinary femme garb, summer dress and nude tights. Not looking at all like the sex-bomb I knew, but really looking very lovely.

I pressed '1' and the slide show stopped. I looked across at Dr. Mills who was watching me with interest. I realised I was wet through. I'd sweated so much over the few minutes of the test my shirt was almost dripping.

"Victor, I need to say now, some of those were photo-manipulations. Like they say 'no children or animals were harmed in the making of...' "

I laughed.

Dr. Mills pressed a key on the PC and unwrapped the strap from my arm. She left the room briefly and came back with a can.

"Would you like a beer? You probably need it after that."

I smiled again. Indeed I did need it. I'd not been so refreshed by a beer for a long time, I drank it almost straight down. The doctor moved to look at the screen and studied it for a moment, then turned to address me.

"As I said Victor, this software is so brilliant. Instant results analysis. And very interesting too. In fact very surprising indeed. I've used this test on several clients before but I've never seen results like this. You certainly are a very different kind of guy."

"In what way?"

I was worried and tried to peer over at the screen. At first the doctor turned it away but then she changed her mind and moved it so that I could see. The screen showed an 'X' shape. With four blobs on the arms of the 'X'. One very near the top right, one on the bottom left arm and the other two on the other branches of the 'X'.

"This is a representation of your sexuality, Victor. The four indices. And very different from any man, or woman, I've seen before. Wow!"

I suddenly got very worried and then noticed the four numbers on screen at the ends of the arms of the 'X'.

"94? What's that?" I asked.

She looked again.

"The indices show your sexuality, as I said. Straight/gay across the screen, male/female down it. The numbers are percentages but you don't just add them, it's a complex mathematical thing to mix them. 94% straight male. OK, so whatever I recommend it won't be castration. You are predominantly just that, a straight heterosexual man so your cock is safe. Well, you're in a fairly stable marriage so I think I was always going to find that. Are you relieved?"

"I suppose so" I replied. "I do admit I was a little worried by your comments. Last week, was it? I mean, I agreed to do all this, I wasn't at all sure but I can see the point of it now. At least knowing that is reassuring. But you said you were surprised. By what?"

"It's the other indices, Victor. Below 94%, OK. But look at that. Straight and female - 57%!!"

"What does that mean? I'm half woman? But you said..."

"No, Victor, not half."

She took my hand to reassure me and stroked with her fingers. Suddenly I began to become interested again.

"Now Victor, don't get any ideas. Anyway Clive is due back in about twenty minutes. But it does explain the cross-dressing. In some way a part of you wants to be female, or at least to be seen as a female. And especially by men, that's the 'straight' part. Most women like to be admired by men and so would you. You said you've never been seen dressed by anyone except Kathy? Well we will have to do something about that."

I looked at her again, she was still holding my hand.

"OK. Next week, can you come a little earlier? I've another client I'm seeing here at 4.15. Can you be here at 4 o'clock?"

I was puzzled, but I said 'yes'. I'd have to arrange to leave work earlier but I could manage that.

"Why 4 o'clock? Do you want me to meet your other client?"

"Oh no. Sessions have to be confidential. But I want you to bring some clothes with you, some of your female clothes. We can set up the guest room for you to change in. I want to 'meet' Victoria! It is Victoria isn't it?"

I was amazed. I'd not been expecting that at all. Dress? For my doctor? I wasn't at all sure.

"Victor, you really must. I have to see what I'm dealing with here. You are high on all the indices, your gay male and lesbian factors are both well above 35%! I'm intrigued, you really do have a wide sexual base in you somewhere, I need to see all the aspects. So, bring something suitable, smart or smart casual, not too glitzy. Just for wearing in the house, maybe in the garden if it's fine. Don't worry, it's totally private out there. You'll have time to change while I'm doing my other consultation. Then we'll see what we can see. OK?"

I had to agree. But what would Kathy feel about it all? I hated to think.

"She wants you to WHAT??!!"

Kathy was almost screaming at me. Understandably really. I mean the original reason for my visits was, in her eyes, to 'cure' me of my cross-dressing habits. And here I was asking her about clothing suitable for a visit to my therapist - 'dressed'. The evening of that last session, after I'd got home, I hadn't mentioned that fact. I just gave her a brief resume of the visit and the questions and the test program, and the results. She didn't understand all the results, not sure I understood it all myself. But she was as relieved as me that I wouldn't be for the chop, that I was going to stay male.

But six days later as I was sorting things ready for the next day I had to tell her. In fact I wanted to ask her, my thoughts had meandered this way and that was over the week as to exactly what to take with me. No real glamour stuff, that was what the doctor had said. Which ruled out my prize possession, my 6" black patent stilettos, and some of the other stuff I had.

In the end I'd decided on the classic 'power-dressed' look, my tailored business suit with black stockings and heels. The jacket and skirt were a deep grey with a burgundy stripe which would give me an excuse to wear my purple bra-and-panties set. And it was a comfortable size 12, not tight. I could cope well with wearing it - for the first time - in public!

Well, not exactly in public but certainly in front of someone else, not just Kathy. And unlike some of my home cross-dressing activities I was determined to go totally ALL the way, from wig to toenails and absolutely everything in-between. Which is why I was asking Kathy.

"Well honey. Will it look all right? Will this blouse look OK with the suit, I mean? I know the colour is OK but what about the style. It's not overtly sexy I know but I think maybe I will still look attractive."

"Attractive? Sexy? Listen to yourself, Victor. Look you're supposed to be getting better and here you are asking me what you should wear. I mean, that blouse, where did you get it? I've not seen that one before. And what did it cost you? Or rather what did it cost US?"

"Alright Kathy, it's new. But if Dr. Mills wants to see how I look I really do have to make the effort don't I?"

She couldn't really answer that, except to ask me what the blouse had cost again. She was surprised when I told her, or rather when I said it was 'under £30'.

"Is it a size 12?"

"Yes it is actually, I think it's a rather small size 12 actually, why?"

"I could wear that!"

"You mean you'd like to borrow it?"

"And why not! Why should you have all the nice things?" Her voice was rather strident, then softened. "It would go very well with that deep blue suit I wore at Angela's wedding. Do you think it would?"

A concession! A bloody concession! For the first time in ages Kathy had asked me a question about clothes, about my femme clothing that is, without insulting me - well, not really. She was genuinely interested in my opinion. I had to jump on it, to make the most of the opportunity. I wasn't really too sure where the sessions with the doctor would end up, I really was a little confused after that previous meeting but this was a chance not to be missed.

But I still had to get, in a sense, 'permission' to wear it, indeed to dress at all when I went to visit the doctor. I chose my words and my tone carefully.

"I think that would be a very good idea, love. Tell you what. I'll wash it, carefully of course. It is rather delicate, I'll do it after tomorrow evening. How about we go down the pub on Friday, it would look good with just the skirt and a jacket maybe?"

I decided to chance my arm.

"You'd look really sexy in that - with a black bra underneath!"

Kathy looked at me, just for a moment I thought I'd blown it.

"You're right, that would give Jack an eyeful wouldn't it?"

I risked it again.

"Two eyefuls" I added with a grin.

Jack was the new landlord at the pub. We'd only met him a couple of times but he'd already made an impression on Kathy. Joking and flirting a bit and paying her way over-the-top compliments and so on, the sort of things landlords can get away with. Everyone expects it, especially when the husband - in this case me - is there.

I got away with it again, Kathy smiled, then surprised me.

"Which shoes are you going to wear? Not your tranny high heels I hope."

"Oh no, they wouldn't do at all. I thought about my other black high heels, I know they're a bit high, about 4" heels I think. But I do want to look smart."

We chatted on for a few minutes more. Kathy ended up carrying the blouse upstairs for me and just briefly trying it on while I was in the bathroom. I emerged to find her - in the blouse, with a black bra and panties and nothing else.

"Christ, Kathy, I wish I looked that good!" I said, not fully realising what I was saying about my own wishes, dreams, hopes.

But she let it pass and threw her arms round me.

"If you want to we could...."

Hell, I hadn't thought about it but - of course I could. I grabbed her hard round the arse and pulled her hard to me and kissed her.

"Wait Victor, better let me take this off, you don't want to crease it!"

Quite what had caused the change round I didn't know but right then I didn't care. I had Kathy's tacit consent to 'dress up' in front of Melissa - Dr. Mills I should say - at least for the moment. I think it may have been that as well as Kathy's promiscuous posing which excited me so much that evening. We made love more successfully than we had for quite a while.