The X-Tests

I sipped my drink again, encouraged by the sharp liquor sliding down my throat and then I noticed. He had turned slightly towards me and the bulge in his trousers was becoming obvious. I was turning him on!

"Christ Vicki, you really are one hot babe. I've been with some trannies before but never one like you, never one with legs and titties like yours. You're making me so hot, Vicki, I've just got to ...."

With which, for some reason very much to my surprise, he moved in on me. His hand slid down from my waist to my thigh and he began to edge it up inside my short skirt, over my garter tops. And his head moved too, before I knew it my heart started beating ever faster as his lips touched mine ...

"There you are, Vicki, having fun?"

I pulled away quickly. Melissa! She reached forward and gently removed my hand. I hadn't realised, I actually had not realised - that it was sliding up from Darren's knee towards his obvious bulge. I must have blushed, I was certainly for some reason not happy to have been discovered.

"Excuse me - er - sorry, I don't know your name," Melissa said sweetly.

"Darren."

"Hi there Darren, sorry, I need a word with - Victoria. Come on dear, we need to talk."

"Now hang on, whoever you are," Darren called out. "We were just getting going then. Go on, fuck off you cunt, she's mine!"

Mine! MINE!! No I fucking well wasn't. Within two seconds, in just about a dozen words - he'd ruined it. I'd just about begun to enjoy the experience, to appreciate his attention, to really like being a 'woman' with a man, to revel in the warmth of his arms and the ardour of our growing passion. Who knows where it had been going to lead? I'd loved the feeling of his warm lips touching mine. And he'd ruined it. By his rudeness, his abrupt behaviour, his disgusting language. Suddenly all the nice feelings which had been welling up inside me, they had all evaporated. Men!

""You - you - pervert!" I'd hissed at him. "Piss off!!"

At which I had let go of his hand, grabbed my handbag and put my own arm somewhat protectively around Melissa. We both together turned on our respective high heels and stormed off.

"Anything wrong here?" I heard behind me.

We both turned a little as we headed for the door. Darren was still there but he couldn't follow us, his way was blocked. And it was 'Simone' who was doing the blocking. She looked magnificent, I hadn't realised until then just how tall and impressive a woman she made.

"Oy - you! Winding up my friend Vicki, are you? Just watch it or I'll bite off your balls and spit them right back at you!"

We managed to get out of the door and leave the altercation behind us. I'm still rather pleased I crossed the entrance lobby so quickly without tripping on my heels. As we got outside the door into the cool night air Melissa pulled me back a little., I turned to look at her.

"Wow Vicki, that was great, you certainly gave him an earful. I'm sorry but I thought I'd better interrupt before anything serious began to happen. It was something Geoff said, about Darren and another 'girl' last week. Apparently he got rather heavy handed with her when he got her into his car. Vicki? Are you all right?"

She was looking carefully at my face, I was feeling sorry for myself, I just about felt a tear begin to well in my left eye.

"Here, let me help. We don't want to spoil your mascara do we?"

She offered me a small tissue, and wiped the corner of my eye. I just couldn't help myself, I giggled.

"What is it?"

"Nobody's ever said that to me before".

I giggled again, so did Melissa, we both did. We wrapped our arms round each other and marched off, away from the club, away from my very first 'as-a-woman' experiences in the club.

And out into the light. It surprised me when it hit me, the brightness of the street lights, of the night life of Brum. And people again, ordinary people. Lots of them this time, it was quite a bit later than when we had arrived obviously and the city had begun to warm up. We strolled down the street and into Millennium Square to be greeted by a band, a very loud band on a podium playing for the night life of Birmingham. Of which I was now a part.

Somebody grabbed me. Somebody else grabbed Melissa. Suddenly we were being whirled round across the square. It took me a moment to get my breath and take a good look at the guy - the guys - doing the whirling. They were both wearing skirts! Well, tunics, or some sort of kilt. Then I realised. I'd seen it in the 'Birmingham Post' the day before, this was the Brum 'World Music' festival. I listened. OK it was a band but not a western band, this had some sort of European or maybe Eastern tune and the instruments weren't quite right. I could hear fiddles all right but some kind of percussion, not bongos but similar, and other - mandolins?

Almost as quickly as we had started we were spun away, we'd crossed about 50 yards of the square, we collapsed together yet again in fits of giggles. The guy who had been dancing, if you can call it that, with me said something to me but I didn't understand a word. As we parted somebody else said something, I didn't catch that either except for 'Wish we ....'. At least that had been in English.

Melissa pulled me to one side, a mixture of horror and delight on her face.

"Did you HEAR what he said, Vicki? He said 'I wish we had tarts like that in Budapest!'"

We didn't have time to react, to remonstrate with them or whatever. As soon as we turned back towards the two 'men-in-skirts' another two guys, dressed in ordinary suits, took us both by the arm and turned us away again."

"Excuse me ladies, very sorry for my dancers. They are a little rude? No?"

Melissa grabbed my hand again.

"OK Vicki, I think you're ready for it. The real thing."

"The real thing?" I asked.

"With a man," replied Melissa.

"Come on," replied Melissa, again taking me by the arm, this time turning me through 180 degrees and beginning to march me up the steps behind us. I looked up towards the sign above the illuminated doorway in front of us.

'The Ambassador Hotel'.

"Shit Melissa, I can't go in there?"

"Well I'm going in, I need to see the manager. Clive and I are attending a dinner here next week and I've been volunteered to sort out the details. You can wait here if you like, at the mercy of these Hungarian dancers. I shouldn't be more than a quarter of an hour."

I realised - I couldn't wait that long, I needed to.... Melissa saw the slightly pained look on my face and came to the right conclusion.

"Me too, come on, let's go do it. I need to see how you manage. Let's just go to the Ladies first and then have one drink in the bar and see if you get hit on."

I knew I had to, go to the Ladies that is. There was no way could I go into the Gents' toilet looking like that. And I have to admit that the four gins I'd had were definitely taking effect and not just in the 'Ladies' department. I remember wondering there and then what effect I would have on the men in there, in the bar. OK, I know it sounds rather vain of me but many trannies are. Vain I mean.

We sauntered in through the big double doors, the heat from the warm air fans hitting us as we looked round. Melissa walked up to the reception and took a card from her purse.

"Good Evening. Dr Mills. Can I see the manager, please? I know it's rather late but I would like to discuss arrangements for next Thursday. For the Mayor's dinner?"

The receptionist, a young girl maybe eighteen and dressed in the hotel's standard uniform, white shirt, cravat, short-ish black skirt, looked at the card and smiled.

"Certainly Dr Mills. I'll see if he's free. Would you like to take a seat?"

"Thanks, we'll wait in the bar if that's OK?" she replied and smiled.

We headed off in that direction and, before that, into the Ladies' toilets.

My very first experience of such was very nearly ruined at the first hurdle. Having got myself into the cubicle I had great difficulty. In the somewhat confined space and with my long red nails complicating things, getting my skirt up and my knickers down so that I could perform was awkward. And this wasn't made any easier by the fact that, rather suddenly, I needed to go. The gins were working in both respects, both by wrecking what co-ordination I had and by their increasing pressure within my bowels.

But eventually I did it and managed to sit and perform for a minute or so. The relief was tangible and I did pull up my panties. I tucked myself into place, re-did my stockings and garters and my dress and got myself out of the cubicle with much less bother.

"There you are Vicki, I was just going to send out a search party," joked Melissa as I approached the small basins and saw myself in the mirror. "And you still look good."

Then she lowered her voice even though we were alone in there.

"OK Victoria, this is the real test now. We'll go up to the bar and get a couple of drinks, I think you should order them, I'll just have a tonic water since I'll be driving. You need a double G-and-T."

"Double?" I queried.

"Yes my dear, you need the courage. The moment I leave you I want you to look round and find a suitable man and flirt with him for all you're worth. It's getting a bit late so there's not much time. You really do have to find out about that aspect of your sexuality. Come on, let's go."

I wasn't given any opportunity to discuss this, to ask about what I should actually do, about tactics, about anything at all. It wasn't open for argument, I had been told. That was what I had to do. I was herded by the arm yet again through the door and along to the bar. I looked around as I waited for the drinks to come, and realised. We were surrounded by men. Well, almost entirely, there must have been about thirty of them - and maybe four women as well as the two of us.

"OK girl, you're on," whispered Melissa in my ear as she picked up her glass of tonic water.

I turned to look. She was gone.

I was alone, in the bar, tarted up to the nines with a double gin in front of me, surrounded by..... men! I was getting attention and loving it, we both had been. But whereas Mel was on the other side of the room in a sense protected because she was talking to someone, I was alone. Vulnerable. Available. Maybe because I was so brazen, nobody approached me immediately. So I approached the guy sat next to me. He wasn't a macho hunk, quite the reverse, he was tall-ish and skinny and wearing glasses and - heck, what did care, he was male.

"Hi there, I'm Vicki."

"Er - hello. I'm Rod - er - can I get you a drink - er - Vicki?"

I had a G-and-T already but I was surprised to see it was almost empty so I let Rod buy me another. I insisted on a single this time. I was definitely the worse for wear as far as drinks were concerned by that time but I had some semblance of common sense. Besides, I really was having such fun and I wanted to remember it in the morning.

"Do you come here often, Rod?"

Shit, did I really say that? So lame of me, I must have been feeling the effects of the drink.

"Actually I do, my company sends me up here every month or so. I'm an accountant you know, I have to train the staff in new procedures and so on. It's very exciting work."

Like hell it was. OK, maybe it was to him but I didn't care.

"OK Rod, I need something exciting tonight. Come on."

With which for the second time that night I walked past several tables to a more private table near the window. I sat down next to Rod and turned towards him. I sipped my drink.

Almost as soon as I'd put the glass down I'm afraid I have to admit I was 'at it' The urge was there, I was there, Rod was there. We were sitting very close together and I was having so much fun. I snuggled up close to him, I just couldn't help giggling as I held his hand in mine.

"Actually Rod I'm so glad we've met. I wasn't really looking forward to spending the evening alone."

I continued to stroke his hand, gently, luxuriating in the sight of my long red-taloned fingers moving across Rod's.

"Jeez Vicki, I'm so glad too. I never thought I'd meet such a sexy woman."

I slid my hand down to his thigh, noticing that whatever kind of geek he was his suit wasn't cheap, it was good material, good cut.

"My boyfriend has stood me up," I said. OK, so I lied. "I hate the fucking bastard, I don't care if I never see him again."

Rod's own left hand began to move, touching my nylon-clad left knee and beginning just a little to move up my thigh.

"Actually I was half-expecting my wife to come with me this weekend but she had to go to her sister's, she couldn't make it. Lucky for me."

Wife? I didn't care. His hand was just edging under the tight skirt of my dress. The fourth hand that evening venturing towards my stocking tops and my knickers.

"What's your wife like, Rod? Anything like me?"

His breathing had become quicker, I edged over and just touched my tongue to his ear. This had been going on for too long, I thought. Melissa just wanted to see just how I'd get on with a man in a real hetero-sexual situation. Surely she didn't want me to go all the way. Hell, I couldn't go all the way, I had the wrong -- equipment.

"Well, she doesn't really understand me."

Shit. Corny euphemism time again. But if I really was going to do this, it was time to get on with it. I whispered again.

"Rod. I don't really want to spend tonight alone. Do you have a room here, darling?"

My fingers touched the swelling I could see developing between his legs. I was trembling with excitement, keen and eager to go on. The gins, the situation, what was I feeling? I realised. Lust!

"Y - e - s ," was his hesitant reply.

I didn't want to waste any more time. I took Rod's hand and led him across the bar towards the lift I could see in the lobby. Eyes were focused on us and, I like to think, focussed on me. On my legs, on my cleavage, on me as I pulled Rod with me again. Everyone could see. I'd like to think the guys in there were jealous, wanting to be in Rod's position, wanting to be the one I was dragging towards bed, maybe!

I could also see Melissa, she had stood up and was following us towards the lobby. She was attracting some attention herself, I had no doubt. But with something of a determined look on her face, I knew exactly what was going to happen. She was going to stop me! But this time I wasn't at all sure I wanted to be stopped! I was enjoying myself, far, far too much. Me. And Rod. And the possibility of something more than this. Okay I had enjoyed the outings, the flirting, the hand-holding, but maybe there was more, even more.

We reached the lifts and I watched Rod press the 'UP' button. Up to - what? Suddenly I couldn't do this. Suddenly I became so very realistic, it couldn't work, Rod was bound to find out, to ruin it all. Melissa was moving towards us, looking still determined, and this time I knew she was right. But I wanted that one last fling. I looked across at Melissa, I almost glared, she stopped. My look, my body language had said it all.

'OK but not yet. Not quite yet. Just let me do - this'. She stopped.

I turned to Rod and there and then, in the lobby, with guys watching from the bar, in full view of the reception staff, I put my right hand behind his head and pulled him towards me. And having got so close that evening, twice, in very different situations, I knew this was the one. I pulled him towards me, opened my lips and I pressed them to his. I kissed him. That's all, the one kiss but what a kiss that was. I put everything into it, my mouth opened and my tongue snaked into his mouth. My lips worked on his, I grabbed his bum and pulled his body towards me.

That kiss went on for seconds, maybe for over half a minute, OK it wasn't the longest or maybe the most passionate kiss ever but it was my first such kiss and it was oh-so special to me. We were both breathless as we separated, as the lift doors opened behind him, as the promise of more intimacy, and simply sex and bed beckoned. But that promise would never be realised, I knew that.

As I turned away from the lift, Melissa was by my side in a flash. And in only a few seconds she destroyed Rod's dream, I felt sorry for him.

"Hi Vicki, glad to see you. And who's this? Your new fella, is he, wow, that was quick."

The voice was different. It was shrill, it was coarse, it was a voice from the street, not what you'd expect from such a classy looking lady in the bar of a city-centre hotel.

"I've just seen Pete, he's OK. The tests were negative so he's OK. But he says you'd better get yourself tested, darling, just to be on the safe side. No hurry though, tomorrow will do, after this trick, Vicki. He looks a cute one, love."

I think Rod realised what was going on, or rather what Melissa wanted him to think was going on, even quicker than I did. In a flash, behind me, he was gone. The lift doors closed, he had scooted. After what Mel had said I wasn't at all surprised. She grabbed me by the arm.

"Come on Vicki, we'd better get out of here quickly."

And we did, we got out quickly. We skipped across the lobby, again difficult in such high heels but I was getting good at this by now. We high-tailed it back to the car avoiding any more untoward adventures that evening, soon Melissa had started the engine and was heading out of town back to her place.

"Well Vicki. How was that?"

I breathed in the cold Birmingham night air and looked round. Being driven along the Hagley Road, early in the morning, by an attractive woman while dressed like that, it seemed a bit surreal. And as to what I'd been through that evening, well, the whole gamut of sexuality, gay transvestite, lesbian, woman, which was I? Which had seemed the real me?

"Well, I do have to admit, Mel, kissing Rod...."

"That was the guy at the end, was it? You were really going at it some, Vicki. He was up for it - in every sense of the word!"

When I realised what Mel had just said I giggled again.

"Mel, I know you had to do what you did but thank you so much for delaying a bit, that was a sensational experience....."

I didn't know whether to continue but I did.

"...and for a moment or two I really did want him to shag me."

There. Said it. Admitted it. After all I'd said to my wife about me being just a cross-dresser, being totally heterosexual, about not being into any sort of relationship with a man. I had to admit, to myself and to my therapist, that I wanted to be with a man. I had revelled in the attention he had paid me and in the looks I got from the other guys in the bar. I'd revelled in flaunting my legs, in crossing them when I sat at the bar and in loving the fact that guys could see my stocking tops, could fantasise about being with me, about kissing me, about fucking me. I wanted it. Badly.

But I calmed down on the journey back. We chatted for a while as Mel drove skilfully back along the dual carriageway up to her house. Then she poured black coffee down me while I changed back - and became Victor again.

"OK Victor" she said, late into the early hours as I prepared to begin my drive back. "I have to put my report together. I'll want to see you one more time, next week OK? I don't see why you shouldn't tell Kathy what you did tonight, that's all part of the process you know. But don't go into what we've discussed too deeply, not yet at least. We'll all have a full session together after next week maybe, decide where we go from here."

We shook hands. Not even a small kiss on the cheek. Vicki and 'Mel' were gone, this was back to Victor and Dr Mills, our relationship was back to client and doctor.

I drove back home carefully and slid into bed next to Kathy without disturbing her. And when we did talk about many of the events of the evening, she was rather amazed at just what 'the doctor had ordered'. Over the next few days I tried to settle again, to get back into work things, to calm down to a normal masculine life. It was difficult.