Twisted Ink 4 Alex

A vibration against my cheek woke me up from where I was dozing on the couch. I picked up my phone a tried to read the screen through my blurred vision. Alex was supposed to be here two hours ago and still hadn't shown up. I'd put our dinner in the oven on warm and settled in to wait. I'd called several times to no avail.

"Hello?" I answered my phone urgently as my brain awoke.

"Andy?"

"Oh. Hey, mom," I deflated.

"Well, it's nice to hear your voice too, honey," my mother spoke sardonically.

"Sorry, mom. I was expecting a call from a friend," I explained by way of apology.

"Oh? A friend, friend or a male friend," my mother pried.

"A boyfriend," I smiled into the phone.

"Oh, honey! That fantastic!"

"Yeah. He is."

"That's great! Is he a good man? Does he treat you right?"

"Yeah. But I'm worried. He was upset earlier today and now he's two hours late for dinner. I've tried calling but he's not responding."

"Oh, sweetheart. You're probably worrying yourself over nothing. He probably just got caught up."

"You're right, as usual. So? I assume your calling about my baby girl's recital?"

"Yes. She was beautiful. She finally felt comfortable enough with point to do a solo!"

"I know Leah sent me a video. I wanted to be there." I sighed heavily. I hated missing my daughter's milestones. Tonight was her ballet recital. Her mother sent me the videos, but I wanted to be there to hug her and tell her how proud I was. Give her roses and cheer louder than all of the other dads.

"She understands, Andrew. Your work is far too important," my mother assured me. My phone beeped. I looked at the display.

"Mom. That's Alex. I call you back?"

"Of course, dear. I expect to meet this young man soon."

"Bye, mom. Love you." I switched the call over. "Alex?"

"Hi, baby." He sounded exhausted.

"I was so worried. Where are you?" Relief pounded through me so hard tears sprang to my eyes and my stomach churned with nausea.

"I'm sorry. Things went bad on one of our deliveries. I had some business to attend to." He sounded more than exhausted. He was shaken. It must have been really bad for him to be this down about it. "I wanted to see you tonight, baby. Really, I did."

"I know. Are you okay? You sound upset."

There was a long pause, then a rush of air through the phone. "I'll be fine, baby. I miss you."

"I miss you. You can still come over. I kept dinner warm," I offered. Inside I was begging him to still come.

"I can't. I've got...shit I have to take care of," the last was hissed.

"Oh. Okay. I'll let you go then," I said sadly.

"No. I'm driving and exhausted. Stay on the phone for a little bit? Tell me about the rest of your day."

"Leah sent me some videos of Emma's recital. She was beautiful as usual."

"She looks like you. Of course she was beautiful."

"You're such a charmer, Bronski. You know what I realized just now?"

"What's that, baby?"

"Your name is very close to Anna Karenina's lover. Alexei Vronsky."

"Ha. Yes. I'm named after him actually. Our last name is Vronsky, but the Russian alphabet B is V, so when my grandparents immigrated their name became Bronski. My mother said Anna Karenina was a beautiful love story, so she named me after the tragic hero. Count Alexis Kirillivich Vronsky."

"So you're like a great literary lover?"

"Vronsky wasn't a great lover, baby. He was a selfish bastard. In fact, Anna Karenina wasn't a love story. It's an essay on the fall of a woman in society. It's stupid. She throws herself under a train," he spat.

I laughed. "Well, good to know you're as serious about your Russian literature as you are about fucking."

Alex groaned. "Jesus, I wish I was inside you."

"Me too, baby."

"Tell me more about Emma's recital," he said. "I need something to kill this boner."

"That's such a crude word," I mused.

"Fine. Hard-on, cock, dick...you choose. So tell me."

"She did a point solo," I said proudly.

"Baby. English, please. I have no fucking clue what a point solo is."

"She danced on her toes. She hasn't been confident enough to do it until now."

"Oh wow. We'll need to take her somewhere special this weekend." My face split. He wanted to spend time with my little girl. He wanted to be a part of her life. I loved this man so much. "If...if that's okay, I mean," he said uncertainly.

"That's more than okay, baby."

"Good. Have you ever wanted more children?" What? What, what and huh?

"Well, I mean sure. With the right person. I don't want to be a part time dad with my kids. I hate it with Emma."

"I want kids. I never did before, but now..." I read into his words. What he meant was he wanted kids with me. Overwhelmed with emotion, tears welled in my eyes.

"Yeah," I said thickly. "I want that too."

"Don't cry, baby."

"Sorry. I just...I didn't know I could have this."

"Me neither, baby. And I swear, soon. Soon, we'll be together like you want. I swear it."

"I love you so damned much it hurts."

"I love you, too, baby. More than you know."

Alex 7

"Be careful driving, baby. I'll see you in an hour," I said into the phone. Andy was going to pick Emma up for the weekend.

"Was that your love?" Dee asked teasingly. I grabbed her hands and twirled her around the living room. She laughed and danced with me. She stroked my cheek and looked up at me with her gorgeous smile. "It's so good to see you this happy, Sasha. I always wanted this for you."

"I love you, Dee. You're my best girl, ya know?" I twirled her out. "I have to get ready. I have a date with my man and his best girl."

"Okay. I'm gonna go get a bite and chillax around here tonight," she smiled. I kissed her cheek and walked to my room. I showered and dressed to go to Incredible Pizza. Which meant I was in a t-shirt and jeans. Emma said that's where she wanted to go. I was nervous. My future relied on this little girl liking me.

My phone buzzed. I didn't look at the display. "I'm on my way, baby."

"Sasha?" Oleg's voice boomed through.

"Uncle. I'm sorry. I thought you were Dee."

"I need you at the distribution varehouse. Now. Ve found our mole." I broke out into a cold sweat.

"You did?"

"Da. Come now."

"Uncle...I have plans I can't break tonight."

"Alexei Nicolai! Do not forget vhere your loyalty lies!"

"Of course, uncle. I'll be there in thirty minutes." I hung up and dialed Andy. I got his voicemail.

"Baby. I'm going to be late. There's a work emergency." I hauled ass to the warehouse.

"UNCLE!" I called. Oleg's rotund form appeared close to the back of the room. Something wasn't right. The hair on my neck prickled. My body tensed for a fight.

"Come, Sasha. See vhat ve have found," he called. I walked to the back of the room and froze solid. Bile rose in my throat.

"Oleg, what the fuck?" I looked in Dee's terrified eyes. "Let her go!" Dee shook her head. One of Oleg's lackeys put the barrel of a .38 pistol to Dee's temple.

"See, Sasha. That's not possible. Bring the others," Oleg demanded of another man. My heart thudded painfully. "Remember, Sasha. We make rodents suffer," he said icily.

"This is ridiculous, uncle. Dee is not a mole," I tried staying calm.

"No? I beg to differ, Sasha," he said casually. Too casually. My heart sank. I'd been made. "Tell me, 'agent', did you think I wouldn't figure it out?"

"Oleg. This has nothing to do with her. Let her go!" I shouted. I turned at the sound of the men returning. "Oh, God. Oleg, no." My sister, Andy and his daughter were all bound and being lead at gunpoint.

"See, Sasha. I figured death vould be too easy for you. You do not fear death. I made you that way," Oleg smiled evilly. "So. Ve vill play a game instead. 'You', Sasha, vill choose who dies first." Cold dread spread through my veins. At the same time my senses went on high alert. "Your sister? Your partner? Your sinful lover? His daughter?"

"Oleg, please. Don't do this. As my blood runs in your veins, please," I dropped to my knees and begged. I looked at Andy. His eyes were wide and afraid.

"CHOOSE, SASHA!" Oleg bellowed.

"Me! Kill me! Let them go! You have me!"

"If you vill not choose, I vill. Bring Dmitrya!"

"NO! NO! PLEASE DON'T!" I yelled. "Emma! Baby, close your eyes. Don't peek," I called to her. Dee was brought forward. She was sobbing and begging. "I'm so sorry, Dee. I love you, honey." There was nothing else I could do. I looked at my sister. She was shaking and sobbing. Emma was leaning into her with her eyes clamped shut. "Don't peek, baby," I whispered brokenly. The barrel was pressed to Dee's temple. My heart stalled as the crack o the bullet echoed. Blood hit my face. Tissue thudded sickly on the ground. "NO!" I screamed and sobbed. "Let them go! Kill me! They're innocent! It's me you want!"

"Very well, Sasha," Oleg sighed and nodded to the lackey.

"ALEX! No!" My sister cried. "God, no!"

"Make sure she keeps her eyes closed," I told Anya about Emma. "Do I have your word?" I asked Oleg. "They walk out of here?"

He looked pensively. "Tell me what they have on us and yes. The girls go free."

"All of them," I hissed.

"No," Andy whispered. "The girls." I looked at him pleadingly. "My daughter goes free."

"Let them go. I'll tell you what I know," I said resigned. Oleg nodded to the lackey. The girls were lead to the small office. "RICO. They have past offenses from Petrykov in prison. I was the current witness to the ongoing criminal activity. Dee was my back up. I was approached by the bureau after I graduated. I've been deep cover since. Alan Hines is my contact at the bureau. Dee is actually Special Agent Dmitrya Romanov. I am SA Alexei Bronski. I was chosen because of my familial ties to Kazakov." I looked at Andy. His eyes were wide and red. "Let me..." I broke down. "Let me say goodbye. Please." Oleg nodded. I crawled to Andy and cupped his face. "I'm so sorry. I didn't want this to touch you. I love you. Please forgive me."

"I love you," he choked. "Your sister will keep my Emma safe?"

"Yes, baby. I promise." I kissed his lips one last time. "I'll love you forever." I turned to Oleg and dropped my head. The cold steel of the gun pressed into my skull.

"FREEZE. FBI!" A voice boomed. A gun cracked and pain ripped through my chest.

"Alex!" Andy's voice boomed. "Stay with me, baby. STAY WITH ME! Don't you dare leave me!" And the world went black.

Andy 7

"Daddy. What does ashes to ashes mean?"

"Biblically. We came from the dust and when we die we return to dust, baby," I answered the only way I could. My heart was heavy. I was finding it hard to get up in the mornings. Harder still to be social. I didn't want to be here. I felt like I was drowning.

"Where do people go when they die?" Emma asked as we walked back to the car.

"I don't know, baby. If we remember them, they never really die. But I suppose their souls go to heaven?"

"Is that where Alex went?" She asked. Tears welled in my eyes and my breath hitched. I looked at my beautiful girl and picked her up. I could've lost everything.

The FBI arrived like in a crime drama series, just in the nick of time. Almost. Dee was gone.

"I suppose, baby. But he came back to us, didn't he?" Alex had taken a bullet point blank in the chest. We lost him three times on the operating table, but my stubborn lover pulled through and woke up with a bad case of attitude. He was the worst patient ever. The nurses hated him. He was still laid up in the hospital bed and was refusing to see anyone except Emma. And that was only because she threw a fit. I tried that, but it didn't work. Still, everyday Anya and I went and tried. His supervisor said he was suffering from guilt. I didn't care about any of it. I missed him so much.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Are you mad at Alex?"

"Of course not. Why do you think that?"

"He said that you were," Emma shrugged. God, I was in love with an idiot. The man offered his life for me and my daughter. I wasn't mad at him, I was more in love with him than ever.

"He's just being silly, baby," I told her. "He's in a bad mood and it's affecting his brain."

"Can we go see him today?"

"Yes. Now give your old man a kiss."

"I said I don't want you here!" Alex's voice traveled down the hallway, followed by a metal crash.

"Mr. Bronski, please," the nurse said in exasperation. "I just need to give you your pain meds."

"I don't need them. Leave!" The nurse came running out of the room with her head in her hands. I carried Emma to the door and set her down. The other nurse stopped me.

"Sorry, Dr. Grayson. Just Emma today." I nodded.

"Go on, baby. Tell him your new joke. Maybe he'll laugh," I patted my daughter's bottom and sent her in.

"Hi, Alex!" Emma squealed.

"Hey, sweetheart," Alex answered. My heart broke. I shook my head and turned to take a seat.

"He's still being a fathead, idiot," Anya grumbled and sat next to me.

"Yep," I sighed.

"Why do we even try?" She pouted. She looked so much like her brother I had to smile.

"Because we love the fathead," I answered.

"Sucks doesn't it?" She chuckled.

"Indubitably."

"Anya, baby? You ready?" Jack said to his wife. She exhaled loudly and stood.

"See ya tomorrow, Andy," she said wryly. I nodded. Then I waited. Hours went by and I dozed off.

"DADDY! Wake up," Emma yelled. "Alex asked for you," she told me.

"He did?"

"Mmhmmm. I told him you called him a silly idiot and he got mad and told me to come get you," she said in her prissy tone.

"Oh really? Is he going to throw something at me?" I asked. Emma grinned and shrugged. I chuckled and stood to take her tiny hand. I sat her down with Alex's nurse and kissed her forehead. "Be good. Be right back."

I peeked into Alex's room and warily entered. The last time I'd come in without permission I almost got hit with a bedpan. "Hello?" I called cautiously. Alex was turned on his side, staring out the window.

"Come in, then," he said shortly.

"How are you feeling?" I asked tentatively.

"How do you think I feel?" He hissed.

"Regurgitated dog shit?" I said lightly. Alex let out a low chuckle. I loved that sound. "I miss you." My voice was thick as I fought back tears. I moved closer to him begging my fingers not to touch. He sighed and rolled to look at me. His face was stubbled. His lips and complexion were paler than normal. He had dark circles under his stunning hazel eyes. He was gorgeous still. I wanted to feel his lips on mine. I wanted to inhale his scent.

"Why?" He said in a disgusted tone.

"What?"

"Why would you miss me? Look at what happened because of me. Look at what could've happened to Emma? Jesus! She'll probably need therapy," he hissed.

"You're a selfish moron," I spat.

"What?" His eyes widened.

"Emma is safe. She is safe and happy. I'm safe. You're sister is safe. We're safe because of you. You were ready to die to keep my daughter safe. Now you're shutting us out because you feel bad. You selfish bastard!"

"Which is it, Andy? Am I the fucking martyr or the selfish bastard?" He yelled.

"You're the selfish martyr," I yelled back and glared. Alex's lips twitched and his eyes filled with mirth. A small laugh escaped him and he slapped his hand over his impudent mouth. Watching his struggle to maintain his severity caused my own laughter to break free. My body shook with it and tears formed in my eyes. Alex joined in then groaned and clutched his chest.

"Stop. Don't make me laugh it hurts," he moaned, then laughed, then moaned again.

"Sorry," I cackled. I tried not to stop, but I couldn't. The laughter continued.

"Stop, asshole," Alex groaned through his own giggles. Finally I was able to stop. I looked at the man I loved and gently stroked his face. He closed his eyes and pressed into my palm.

"I love you, Alex. What you did..." My voice cracked. "I thought I was about to watch you die. And the only thing in my mind was, 'at least I won't have to live a day without him'. I don't blame you, baby. You tried to push me away. To keep me out of your life. I bullied my way in just like you did to mine. And I wouldn't change it. Am I upset that my daughter was there? Yes. But the whole time you thought about her. No shut up. I'm speaking," I told when he opened his mouth to interrupt. "I was 'there', Alex. I saw everything. What happened to Dee was not your fault. She was an agent. She made a choice. We 'both' made a choice. She chose the job. I chose you. I 'choose' you. You can push and push, baby. But I'm not just giving up. If I'm yours, you're mine."

"I fucking love you," he growled. I leaned in and finally, God, finally, pressed my lips to his.

"Get off of my son," a female voice hissed. Alex jerked away and moved his eyes to the door.

"Fuck," he whispered. His face transformed into a nasty sneer. "What do you want, mother?" He spat.

"I came to see my son," she said in a haughty tone. I didn't like her.

"You've seen me. Now leave," he retorted. She started speaking in quick Russian. "You will speak English in front of Andy, mother."

"Fine!" She snapped. "In English. You should be ashamed of what you are doing to your family. First, betraying your blood by working for the enemy." Was this lady serious? She was defending the man who tried to kill her son? I glared at her. I must admit, she held her own by glaring right back. "Second, you live this...this sinful life with another 'man', Alexei. Have you no decency?"

I needed to leave. I was going to murder this woman if I stayed. "I'm going to get Emma home, baby. I'll see you tomorrow?" He nodded and pulled my head down for a kiss. I may have made it a little hotter for show. "I love you."

"Love you," he said huskily. I walked out and smirked at his mother. I grabbed my daughter and headed home, feeling a little lighter and a lot more optimistic.

Alex 8

"What do you want, mother? Really?" I asked. My mind was still on Andy. I loved him so much. He said he didn't blame me. I did. I blamed me. I blamed me so much I was angry that they'd brought me back, then like the angel I needed, he was there. He was there telling me he loved me still. Telling me that I sacrificed myself for his daughter. I had, but dying was easy. He loved me. My head still couldn't wrap around that.

"You almost got yourself killed, Alex. My future daughter-in-law was killed," my mother said in her holier than thou tone.

"Mother! She was a federal agent. She was in deep cover with me. She was my partner. She was 'never' my fiancée and to remember her as such is an insult to her memory. She died a heroine," I said lowly.

"She died for nothing," my mother said venomously. Anger burned my gut. "You could have had it all, Alexei! The family would have been yours. A wife. A son. Everything! Instead you give it away for what? An unholy relationship with another man? How could you? How could you, Sasha?" She sobbed.

"Mama. Ne plach' mama," I said. "Don't cry mama."

"Alexei, why? Why have you done this?" She said tearfully.

"I didn't choose this. I am what I am." She cried harder. "I love him, mama."

"No. You can't." I inhaled deeply. My mother was so childlike. She thought only of herself. I hated what Anya went through. I hated the way we were treated. I hated her selfishness. But she was my mother. My mother who loved me as much as she could anyone. My mother who used to read me Russian fairy tales at bedtime. She was my mother and I loved her.

"Mama," I said softly, "I. Love. Him."

"Then you are not my son," she said stoically as the tears dried.

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

"Keep your ass right there!" Andy yelled at me from walking around the car.

"Daddy! You said a bad word!" Emma admonished.

"Tell 'im, baby girl," I encouraged her. Leah, Emma's mom, had agreed to let her stay with us for the holidays. I'd been out of the hospital for three weeks, but Andy insisted on coddling me still. Like a shot to the chest affects whether I can take a piss alone.