Anna and the Librarian

"Anna," I replied, acknowledging the introduction.

The librarian spoke with a foreign accent. She could be a touch harsh around the edges, stern, and most definitely direct, but in this moment her voice was softer, relaxed, almost intimate. Already I was thinking Eastern European--a lot of the staff on campus had come from places like Poland or Slovakia--but I wasn't about to ask.

I brought my gaze from my work and up towards Natalia. She was smiling, and I couldn't help myself but smile back. Still though, my mind was wondering what had made me the centre of attention. I found myself glancing around and the answer was simple. I wasn't so much the centre of attention, as being the only attention.

I was so surprised as I watched the librarian pull up a chair and sit down at the other side of the table. She leant forward a little, making herself comfortable with her elbows on the edge of the table.

"Well... Anna... you are the last, but no hurry. I just wanted to check all was good. I've seen you a lot in the library, but not normally this late, and on a Friday night as well. Shouldn't you be hair down?"

"Hair down?" I questioned, absentmindedly running my hand through my long blonde locks.

"Yes. Now is the weekend. Time to hair down and enjoy... spend time with friends," Natalia responded. "You must have somewhere to be, boyfriends or girlfriends to be with, good times to be had."

Oh yes, I should be letting my hair down, but essays weren't going to write themselves, were they? I thought better than trying to explain the fact that I would have been a gooseberry if I had gone out for the night.

"Thank you... thank you, Natalia..." I responded, suddenly appreciative of her concern.

"Nothing planned," I continued. "Too much to do. Dissertation to submit at the end of next week, so wanted to get some quiet time with my head down."

There I was, getting myself worked up about what I might have done wrong, and all Natalia wanted was to check in on me, to ensure all was well. Mental wellbeing was a massive thing on campus, and I guessed she was just doing her bit. Well, whatever it was, suddenly I appreciated the enquiry.

"But what about that boyfriend of yours? You know, the tall one I see you with," Natalia asked, chancing her arm a little. "Won't he be missing you stuck here in the library?"

I laughed.

"Oh no... Rich isn't my boyfriend. We just share the same place," I responded. "Abi, the bubbly one... that's his girlfriend, not me. I just have... well... me and my degree."

I laughed again.

Natalia didn't show it, but inside she was smiling. Okay, so it wasn't a definite answer, but Anna was already hinting towards not having a partner. That was the first question. The second one would take a bit longer. For now, it was time to leave the young student to her work.

"I'm... sorry Anna... I shouldn't have interrupted," Natalia responded. "You have lots to do, and I'm just getting in the way. I only wanted to make sure you were good. You know what they say about too much work."

"Makes Anna a dull girl," I responded, quoting my father.

"Well, I was going to say it causes you to burn out. I'm sure you are far from a dull girl, aren't you Anna? If you ask me, you are a most beautiful, most interesting young woman."

I started to blush. Why? I had been called beautiful many times before, usually as part of that idle small talk from whoever I had been paired up with last, the idle small talk that I could do without. Interesting? Well, that was a new one on me. Why then was I blushing? Was it the fact that a woman, an older woman, and a stranger at that, had used these words? Was it that it was so out of character of this older woman, with her dominant appearance and controlling presence?

"No... no... I meant it when I said thank you," I confirmed, suddenly wondering if I was saying thank you for the concern shown by the librarian, or for the compliments just given. "I'll be done in ten, and then... well... I promise not to work the whole weekend. As you say... time to hair down."

Instantly I realised I had just done the cardinal sin, of mocking her non-native English. I found myself staring at Natalia, wondering whether she had noticed and, if so, how she would react. Once again, my mind moved onto the person in front of me and not just the idle conversation.

How old was Natalia? I guessed a good ten years older than myself, so that would put her around thirty. She was young compared to the others who worked here, and--yes, I had to admit it of another woman--even with her more dominant persona, there was something attractive about Natalia.

Natalia had the same pale skin tone as I did, but that was where the similarities ended. She had glossy black hair, tied up in a tight twisted bun, a single long clip holding everything neatly in place. Dark rimmed glasses, angular in frame, emphasised her brown eyes. If the glasses drew your attention towards her gaze, make-up had you admiring her flawless complexion. It was simple, yet so impactful. A deep sultry red accentuated Natalia's lips, with a touch of blusher adding warmth to her high cheekbones, and smoky shadow giving a look to her eyes which you just kept drawing you back in.

The elegance of Natalia's appearance continued in her choice of clothes. It always did. You could say it was her trademark look, sophisticated, formal, befitting of a librarian. For a moment I found myself glancing down at her black shift dress. Leaning forward, the deep cut front gaped slightly, revealing a tantalising glimpse of soft flesh and black lace bra. What was I doing? I was staring, my eyes fixed on the line of deep cleavage formed between full breasts, the size of which made mine look like metaphorical peas in a pod.

Quickly, I switched my gaze back to her face.

I held my breath and waited. Not only had I been mocking her speech, but now I had been staring at her voluptuous womanly mounds. What did that say of me when all Natalia was trying to do was be friendly?

It seemed to take forever, before Natalia's expression changed. At first it was only a little. Her mouth straightened, and once more I was worried about the reaction to come. I needn't have been, as Natalia started to smile.

"Well, Anna," Natalia spoke, "I'll leave you to it, but make sure you do get some hair down time. I guess I'll be seeing you here next week, and I meant it when I asked if all was good. Anytime you need to talk, I am here."

I watched as Natalia stood up, took a couple of steps away, then turned back to me.

"Oh, and you now have nine minutes," Natalia added, her direct sternness returning.

I smiled back. I didn't need nine minutes, but there was something reassuring in the time check. I started to pack up, all the time staring at Natalia as she walked off into the distance. It may have just been a few minutes, but this librarian had made an impact, a most positive impact. I wasn't about to take her up on the offer of help, but it was nice to know it was there should I need it.

As I walked out into the darkness, something else struck me. What had Natalia meant when she said she had seen me a lot in the library? Surely there were plenty of students who had spent many more hours in the library than I did. Did she see them all? Did she make sure to check in on everybody? Then there were the compliments. Wasn't that just a little too friendly?

As usual, I was reading too much into it. Natalia hadn't meant anything by it. I was there alone, on a Friday night, and she was just being polite... nothing more... and it was good to know there was somebody looking out for you, even if she was the most dominant librarian I'd ever met. That said, the dominance wasn't that bad, and I now knew she was human, just like the rest of us.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Anna wasn't the only one heading home. With the library locked up for another night, Natalia was about to do the same. She jumped into her car, switched the engine on and listened as the stereo burst into life.

Well, we know where we're goin'

But we don't know where we've been

And we know what we're knowin'

But we can't say what we've seen'

Talking Heads, one of her favourites. Usually, Natalia would find herself singing along as she headed out of town, but tonight she was in a more reflective mood. Natalia hadn't been lying when she commented on seeing Anna a lot in the library, nor in the compliments she had given. She'd made a habit of noticing the young blonde, and who wouldn't have, given Anna's natural good looks.

You see, when Anna was around, it wasn't only men who turned their heads. For the last few months, Natalia had been taking it all in... noticing... observing... contemplating... weighing up the young woman... waiting for the right time.

She liked Anna, but you couldn't just go out there and ask, could you? Hey there, how'd you think about getting off with another woman, just didn't cut the mustard. You had to bide your time, read the signals, then go nice and gently. That time had come, and Natalia had finally broken the ice. There was no need to rush. Natalia had been here before, wading her way through the quicksand that went by the guise of love, only to find her hopes sinking without a trace.

Natalia had always been attracted to women rather than men. She'd found out at an early age that she was different to her friends, but she never let it set her back. Natalia always had been confident, in life, in love, in whatever she wanted. That was the problem though. She knew what she wanted but hadn't yet met anybody who wanted the same.

On a couple of occasions Natalia's heart had been made, then broken, but she wasn't going to let it set her back. She knew that one day she would find her Little Miss Perfect, and who knows, that day could be today. Natalia lived by one motto. If it was meant to be, it would happen, and happen to the tune of her own control. Natalia hoped that this time, it was meant to be. She also knew that sometimes what was meant to be, needed a little nudge to get the ball rolling.

We're on a road to nowhere

Come on inside

Takin' that ride to nowhere

We'll take that ride

The song reached its chorus, and this time Natalia did join in. Intentionally though, she put her own twist on the words.

"We're on the road to somewhere," Natalia sang, wishing deep inside that Anna might just be the one... third time lucky was what Natalia hoped for.

Only time would tell, and Natalia was willing to give it as much time as was needed. For now, though, it was time for Natalia to make herself seen, and for Anna to make her mind up on what she wanted.

How exciting!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Four

My third year -- back at university towards the end of the Christmas holidays

The weeks passed by, and I thought nothing more about my encounter with Natalia. Yes, I still frequented the library, it was my second home, after all. Yes, Natalia was there most days as well. We would smile in passing, we would share pleasantries, but otherwise things had gone back to normal. I was back to being an avid student, and Natalia was back to being the stern librarian, the one you never messed with. At least that's what I thought.

Partly through choice--I had yet another major assignment, this one due early in the second term--and partly through necessity due to my parent's availability, I had come back a few days before the end of the holidays. I didn't mind so much as it gave the chance for some quiet time; just me, my books, and my assignment. It was Tuesday, and I had at least three whole days before Rich and Abi returned, before life became chaotic once more.

My mind was set. With it being the holidays, the library was going to be quieter than normal. The next day, having packed a sandwich or two, I was set up to spend the entire day there, arriving mid-morning and leaving just before dark.

It wasn't so bad. For the first couple of days my plan worked to perfection. The assignment was coming on well, and the library did have the best coffee on campus, and the cheapest to boot. You weren't allowed to take coffee, or food, into the library itself, but that was a minor inconvenience as each floor had its own breakout area where students could chill between work. I was no different. Mid-morning, over lunch, and mid-afternoon, I would make sure to get a caffeine fix, before cracking down again.

Having the library so quiet was even better. There seemed to be a much more relaxed air around the place. There was none of the chaos which went with the term-time working day.

I could chill.

I could concentrate.

I could enjoy a conversation.

A conversation? Without fail, usually at the quietest time of the day, Natalia would find time for a conversation. It was nothing serious. A quick how are you, what have you been up to, what plans do you have. I was starting to relax in her company. Yes, Natalia was still the dominant commanding librarian she always had been, but I felt there was more to this woman. Beyond the façade, there was something different about Natalia. I didn't know what it was, but she was continuing to make an impression, and a positive one at that.

Back before the holidays, Natalia had taken me by surprise when she came and joined me. I had been anxious, worried about why she was singling me out, wondering just what I had done wrong. When she joined me on Wednesday, I was more relaxed in her presence. She still took me by surprise, but I had to admit to being happy to spend the time with Natalia. I barely batted an eyelash when she joined me again on the Thursday, once again for nothing more than a friendly chat, this time over a coffee. By Friday, I was even looking out for her, hoping Natalia would want to meet again.

For sure I had warmed to the older librarian. I liked talking to her. I felt comfortable being with her. I even appreciated the way she dressed. No longer was I phased by the dominant style of this woman. She called it as it was, and you knew what was expected of you. There was no mistaking what Natalia wanted of you, and now I had gotten used to her presence, I liked it. If truth be known, it was more than just liking her dominance, her presence, her commanding nature. I felt reassured in knowing what was expected of me. I felt... what was the word... comfortable?

Things took an interesting turn though on Friday afternoon. Without warning, my peace and tranquillity were shattered.

"Hey, Abi," came a loud, and most familiar male voice. "Look who we've got here," he continued.

"Anna!" a most bubbly female voice joined in the welcome.

I didn't need to look to know who it was. I knew those voices very well. I glanced up from my coffee and smiled.

"Abi... Rich... wasn't expecting you back until tomorrow," I commented, surprised at the unexpected company.

"You know what it's like. Got bored. There's only so much you can get up to with your parents around, so we came back for some fun," Abi started to explain. "Saw the breakfast stuff in the kitchen and reckoned you were already back."

"Sorry," I added, realising how much mess I had left in my rush to get to the library.

"No worries. I said to Rich..." Abi continued.

"She did," Rich interrupted as if to make sure he wasn't being left out of the conversation.

"I said to Rich... I bet you she's down the library again!" Abi stated.

"And... Abi was right as usual," Rich responded. "But now, my girl... now... like knights in shining armour, we're gonna to rescue this fair damsel from the prison she finds herself confined within."

"And... what if this fair damsel doesn't want to be rescued?" I quipped, asking a rhetorical question.

"Then," Rich added, standing, bringing his arm up as if holding a mighty sword above his head, and raising his voice, "Fair damsel, Good Sir Rich will carry you away on his mighty steed."

I was all for responding, retorting with a protest that this fair damsel could make her own mind up, when another voice made me jump.

"Shhhh!!!"

As if on command the library went quiet. The library? It was the holidays so other than the librarian, a handful of students with their heads in books, and the group of three congregated around the low circular table, the place was empty. It was obvious though, who had been the focus of the rebuke.

The reaction was immediate.

Rich sat down again; his bravado was gone in an instant.

Abi gave him a stare which was as sharp as the pretend sword he had been pointing towards the sky.

I on the other hand... well, somebody had to say something.

"I'm sorry, Natalia," I responded, a genuinely apologetic tone in my voice.

It had been nothing more than high spirits, friends meeting up again after a few weeks apart. There was a time and a place; the time was right, but the library wasn't really the place. Natalia though... well, was she being just a little harsh? It wasn't exactly like the library was packed to the rafters. That said, the way she shut Rich up with nothing more than a shushed rebuke, was most impressive.

Natalia had put pay to Rich's boisterous welcome back, and at the same time she'd grabbed my attention once more. This was the Natalia you expected, stern, dominant, and taking no prisoners. This was the Natalia you tried your best not to grab the attention of. Why then? Why was I staring at her as she set off into the distance, a pile of books in her arms?

"I'm sorry, Natalia. I won't do it again, Natalia. Please forgive me, Natalia," teased Rich.

"First name terms now?" he added. "Anyone would think you were teacher's pet... oh, I forgot... she's a librarian, not a teacher, and a stuffy one at that."

"Enough, Rich," Abi chipped in. "Anna's just being polite. It's not like she meant anything by it, did you Anna?"

The question didn't register. I was in a world of my own. I was still staring at Natalia as she headed off across the library.

"Anna?" Abi asked again.

I still didn't respond. My mind was transfixed on Natalia. She exuded power, smart, sophisticated power, in the way she dressed, in the way she moved. Today was no different. A tight white blouse strained across her ample bust, the silhouette of a black bra showing through the thin fabric. Her knee-length pencil skirt clung to her body, stretching out with every high-heeled step, pulling tight across her firm ass. Then there were the tights, or even stockings. She wore sheer nylons with a single black line running teasingly up the back of her legs, and all I could do was watch as she strode powerfully away.

Yes, I was staring at the librarian as she wandered into the distance, but with no other thought than to wonder what it would be like to have her confidence, her appearance, her beauty. At least, that's what I told myself. I had been taken in by her power, nothing more.

"Look, Abi," Rich added to the conversation. "Anna can't take her eyes off little miss prim and proper."

It was true. I didn't realise it, but I was doing just that... staring at another woman.

"You're mean, Rich," Abi retorted. "Anna's not like that. She's just not comfortable being shushed, are you, Anna?"

Natalia started to head down one of the aisles, but as she did, she turned her head back towards our table. For a second or two, our eyes met across the length of the library. Had I imagined it, or had Natalia smiled back at me?

It was only a second or two, as quickly I broke my gaze. Just like before, when I found myself staring at Natalia's full breasts, I suddenly felt embarrassed, like a child being caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Had Natalia noticed? Once again, I hoped not.

"Err... what?" I replied, suddenly realising that the other two were talking about me.