Loved By a Satyr

"I didn't mean to do what I did. I didn't mean for this to happen." She shook her head.

Faeron smiled his kind smile and moved his hand to her cheek, he really had changed so much, "Everyone knows that you didn't mean for this to happen, neth. But it has."

"You want me to run away, I can't do that." She shook her head, "Eventually, I may need to be near Vesper."

He frowned down at her stomach, knowing why she said what she said, and she could see that his thoughts had gone to the day she had come here, the day the minotaur fetus had nearly killed her.

"We are months from that. You could go and visit your father." He suggested.

Natasha frowned, not sure she wanted to be around her father's people right now. She wasn't sure she wanted to be around much of anybody right now. Sighing, she walked over to the window and looked outside, glad that it looked east and not north. She couldn't see the mountains from here.

"I will think about it, Faeron. I promise." She decided to placate him, she did not want to argue with Faeron, she knew he was just trying to help her get through all of this as easily as possible.

"All right. I will leave you, neth. Please, try to rest some more." Faeron spoke softly and she watched as he left her room, shutting the door behind him.

Natasha took a deep breath and looked back out the window.

Closing her eyes, she looked for Ailen, it was early. He was most likely asleep. She knew he had an appointment today with a client. She always knew when he had an appointment with a client. Natasha never meant to learn the schedule at the spa where it concerned the satyrs, but she couldn't help it. She had to know. Even though knowing was like a knife in her chest every time.

Faeron had said that he was fighting more. She knew that. He was also seeking out solitude more often, which she also knew. Natasha had listened to his thoughts, and had watched through his eyes the walks he had taken on the mountain. She'd heard his brays, known the turmoil that gripped him at times. She'd waited, shivering in need as he'd made his way halfway down the mountain before stopping and turning and going back home. He'd done that so many times. He'd never gone farther than halfway. She'd see him frenzy with his flock, had seen him with clients, and with one of the satyr females when she'd gone into heat, which only happened once a year among their women. He had not been the one to breed her, and Natasha had been uncomfortable how much that had relieved her.

She had been even more uncomfortable that it had relieved him to know he hadn't sired another baby. He had thought of her, of the child of his that she carried. He had thought of her a lot, actually. And that bothered her most of all. Ailen was acting like a man pining for a lost love, and that was dangerous for him, for his flock. They had not yet told the female satyrs that she was pregnant, that she had not had sex with the entire flock. They were at a loss as to how to do that without their women coming down the mountain and hunting her down. Natasha wasn't afraid that they would hurt her, she could protect herself, but she didn't want to cause what that would cause for the male satyrs.

Ailen was awake, she discovered when she focused on the minds of those on the mountain. He was sitting on a boulder, looking out at the horizon where the sun would eventually break through and start the new day. He was pensive, breathing slowly, one hand on the rock beneath him and the other skimming across the air in front of him, as if he was outlining the horizon, the clouds, and the land before him. He was thinking about his flock, about how much they meant to him. Then his thoughts would shift to her, to his growing child, and he would get hot, and frustrated, and would let out a soft bray as he tried to meld the two together. His flock, and her. He needed the one and wanted the other, but he could not have both.

Sighing, Natasha pushed him from her mind and moved away from the window. Maybe Faeron was right. Maybe what she needed was to leave the spa, if just for a little while. If she was gone, he might calm down and focus more on his flock. Maybe he would finally give up on these thoughts he was having of her. When she came back, it would be about the child, he would be less focused on her. Biting the inside of her cheek, Natasha climbed back into her bed, she wasn't sure if she believed it. Leaving wasn't going to work. Whatever had happened on that stump on the mountain, the hold it had on them both didn't seem to want to fade at all. She had tried, she had tried so hard.

Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply and tried to settle herself in the soft, comfortable mattress. She needed some more sleep, sleep that wasn't riddled with bad dreams and satyr sex. Normal, deep, uncomplicated sleep. The sun was well above the horizon by the time Natasha finally calmed and her body found the rest that it needed.

~*~*~*~

When Natasha woke next, it was to find that Elarinya had been in her room and had left a tray containing fruit, a muffin, and a glass of water on the table beside her bed. She stretched a few moments, yawning away the sleep that she had been granted, and then she scooted to sit on the side of her bed. She had just taken a sip of water and inspected the muffin to see that it was a lemon poppyseed when she heard a soft knock on her door. Looking over, she smiled, not expecting him, but happy to let Mr. Hughes in to speak with her. She told him without speaking to enter, and he did so, stepping into the room in his quiet way, and closing the door behind him.

"I did not realize you would still be in your bed, Natasha. I can come back later." Mr. Hughes' deep voice sounded apologetic as he took a few steps towards her.

Natasha grinned and patted the bed beside her. "Faeron let me sleep in, but I must start my day sometime. Come, sit with me."

She waited as he did so, his heavy weight making the mattress dip a little and she smiled at him as she picked a little of the muffin off and put it in her mouth.

"You had another nightmare last night." Faeron had told him when he'd come to the apartment, she knew.

"They're always the same. They don't surprise me anymore, they just...remind me." She shivered and ran a hand down the arm of the mauve colored gown that she wore.

"You-you're very powerful, Natasha. Is there no way to rid yourself of the memories? Of the dreams?" Mr. Hughes arched a brow at her as she shook her head gently.

"If only life were so easy that we could erase the bad parts." She chuckled a little and took a sip of water.

"You summoned me?" He changed the subject, knowing she wouldn't want to dwell.

She had summoned him. Yesterday, she had wanted to talk to him about the question he'd asked yesterday. Now, she wasn't sure exactly what she planned to give him as an answer.

"I think I need to leave the spa." She widened her eyes, had she meant to say that? It felt right, but was it what she wanted?

"You're leaving?" Mr. Hughes looked surprised, he hadn't expected to hear this from her, she'd basically hidden in Faeron's apartment since his wedding to Vesper.

"I think I need to, for a while. But I think, I think I wouldn't mind something small. Just big enough for Elarinya, the baby, and me. I mean it, I know Faeron wants a big house with lots of space, elves are so ostentatious, but I would just want something tiny, a little cottage. I'm not grand. I just want something for me." Her words kind of tumbled out of her mouth and she looked over at the angel to see him nodding at her.

"I am glad to hear that, Natasha. For your sake, and for my wife. She would hate to think you would leave us forever. She's quite attached to you, and Elarinya." Mr. Hughes smiled warmly at her.

Natasha felt that warmth flood her that always did when she started feeling like she had found a home, found family, and she felt her eyes get a little watery as she nodded and concentrated on tearing off more pieces of her muffin.

"Aonghas has an account in England, I can get you access and pay for any materials that are needed." She told him and watched him frown.

"I am building this on my land, I will not allow you to pay for it." He shook his head.

"Then I will pay you rent."

"It will be the cheapest rent in all of Canada."

Natasha frowned at him, he was so stubborn, "We'll talk about it."

Mr. Hughes' mouth spread in a wide mischievous smile, "Sure we will."

"I don't, I know that Shi wanted all of our houses kind of close, but I would like to be kind of..."

"Secluded?"

She nodded and looked at him, "It's not meant to sound offensive."

"I am not offended in the least. There is an area, a few acres behind our house to the west where the woods meet the valley quite beautifully, and there is a little creek there. It would be a gorgeous area for a little cottage." He told her and she smiled as she imagined the space through his eyes. It would be breathtaking.

"For you to do this for me, when I'm not-when I'm not your family..." Natasha shook her head, sniffed, and wiped at the tears in her eyes.

"Natasha. You are most certainly my family. My wife looks at you as the sister she was never given. You and Elarinya, you are my family." He patted her cloth covered knee and stood.

"Thank you." She said in an emotional whisper as she looked up at the tall man as he moved a little towards the window.

"Where will you go?" He didn't look at her as he asked the question.

"Bavaria." Natasha furrowed a brow, could she really go there, to the place where her fondest memories had formed? Could she honestly do that? But she had said it, and so maybe...maybe she could. She certainly did not want to see her father right now, he would definitely have something to say about her pregnancy.

Mr. Hughes nodded, "Will you see Vesper before you leave?"

"Yes, I won't leave without saying goodbye. Elarinya, Elarinya will want to say goodbye, as well." She told him.

"I think Elarinya should stay with us while you go to Bavaria." His words made her frown and shake her head, she didn't really want to leave her daughter again.

"She's my daughter." She frowned.

"She feels comfortable here. Safe. But you are her mother, I would never tell you what to do with your child." He soothed her, knowing she was becoming stressed at the thought of leaving the girl again.

"I will talk with her. If she wants to stay, I will tell you." She sighed, it would be harder to leave if she didn't have Elarinya with her.

"You need to talk to Ailen and tell him that you are leaving, as well." Mr. Hughes turned from the window and faced her as she gaped at him.

"Mr. Hughes-."

"And not through your mind. In person. He needs to hear from you that you are leaving the spa." His eyes dropped to her stomach for a moment before he looked back at her face, "that is his child you are carrying and he would not...handle it well if you left without letting him know that you were okay."

"I haven't seen him in three months. How in the world would my leaving the spa make any difference?" She shook her head, putting the tray back on the side table.

"Oh, Natasha, you are a terrible liar." He chuckled, shaking his head as he walked towards her bedroom door.

"Liar?" She cocked her head at him.

"We both know that you have 'seen' him every single day since my wedding. He needs to see you before you go."

Natasha frowned at his back as he turned and walked out her door and slowly shut it behind him. Sighing, she stood up. She didn't want to go see Ailen, she couldn't see him. She was absolutely terrified of how that meeting would go. He could do something stupid that broke his flock. He could try to pretend that he didn't care about her, that he wasn't torn up inside about what to do with the feelings he had for her. Or worse than both of those options, he could look at her just like any other man, and no longer have that emotional attachment to her that he'd had that night. He could not care that he'd mated with her, gotten her with child. He could no longer care about her. But she knew the latter wasn't true, she's seen him enough, as Mr. Hughes had put it, to know that he did, indeed care about her, a great deal.

'You need to talk to Ailen and tell him you are leaving' right, she thought, this wasn't going to go over well at all. What was Mr. Hughes thinking telling her to go and talk to the satyr? It would not work out well. Not at all.

Despite that thought, despite her feelings of uncertainty, Natasha found herself walking slowly towards where Vesper and Mr. Hughes lived later that morning to do what the angel had suggested. She had spoken to Elarinya, who had thought for several moments before smiling at her and telling her that she wouldn't be gone long, and that Elarinya wanted to help Vesper with her vegetable garden during the summer. She would stay with Vesper, and her nana would come home soon. Looking down to her left, she watched her daughter skip along beside her, holding the little stuffed bunny that Vesper had given her for Christmas. One hand clutched the animal to her chest while the other clutched Natasha's left hand. Her right clutched the small suitcase of things that Elarinya wanted to take with her to Vesper's house.

Shi and Faeron had offered to keep her daughter with them, but the child had a special place for Vesper in her heart and they didn't argue with the little one who wanted to go and stay at the little house on the other side of the wood. Natasha knew they would visit her often. She would miss her, though, and that feeling of tight pain in her gut was almost overwhelming as they stopped by the front door of Vesper's home and Natasha wasn't sure if she could really do it, really leave her daughter again while she set out alone.

"Natasha." Vesper smiled after opening the door. She noticed immediately the way that Natasha was shades lighter than usual, for the ayperi immediately stepped out and hugged her closely.

"I just made a plate of cookies. You will both be my guinea pigs." Vesper said to Elarinya, who cheered at the thought of some processed sugar, and Natasha was pulled inside with the two of them and into the kitchen.

They sat together around the kitchen island and ate a few cookies while Elarinya told Vesper all about the contents of her suitcase, the vegetables she wanted to plant, and the kinds of things she liked to feed her bunny. Natasha sat quietly, listening to the excited chatter of her daughter and the kind responses of her friend. Elarinya had opened up so much in this place. It had been the first real home that she'd had. It made sense not to pull her from it so soon, not even for a little bit. She hadn't realized that she'd started crying again until Vesper frowned at her and wiped the tears from her eyes.

Mr. Hughes was coming, she could tell, and he wasn't alone. Natasha felt her heart fall into the bottom of her stomach and she stood up to look towards the front door as it opened slowly. She watched as Mr. Hughes stepped inside. Alone. He smiled as he met her gaze, and then moved his eyes over to his wife.

"Vesper, would you and Elarinya mind coming with me for a walk. I want to go down to where I want Natasha's house built and I need to take some measurements."

"Of course." Vesper nodded and looked at Natasha, hugging her close for a moment. "I am going to miss you, Natasha. Come home soon."

Natasha hugged her back and then moved her eyes down to Elarinya. "Be good for Vesper and Arc."

Elarinya smiled happily up at her, "Nana, I love you."

She kissed her daughter and held her close for a long time before standing back straight and looking towards Mr. Hughes.

"Samir will take you to the airstrip when you are ready. I've already told the pilots the general location you plan on going, but you'll need to be more specific with them." He told her as he held out a hand to Elarinya, who took it with both of hers and then used him as a swing, giggling when he moved his arm, causing her to swing against his side.

"All right." Natasha nodded.

"You will be all right?" His eyes darkened as he became more serious for a moment.

No, she might never be all right. "Yes, I'll be fine."

He nodded, not looking convinced, she wasn't convincing, but he left the house anyway with his wife and her daughter. Natasha took a deep breath, and then another, as she stood there by the kitchen island, her body numb, her skin tingling. She had blocked the minds approaching the door. She could not handle knowing their thoughts, not yet. Not before she at least saw him. In the flesh. As the door slowly opened, she felt her hands shake and clasped them together in front of her.

Cynric entered first, his large body seemed to just fit within the doorway as he paused there for a moment, looking for her, finding her, and then stepping further into the living room. Dwight and Payton came next, their eyes meeting hers nervously as they entered the living room, looking wholly out of place in the very human room. The stood a little behind Cynric who had continued slowly towards where she stood. Natasha's eyes were on the doorway, however, and she watched as Birch came through, followed by the black, Colby. And when she saw him, when she saw Ailen, Natasha realized that she'd been holding her breath, and the air pushed painfully out from her lungs as his big brown eyes looked up and met hers from the doorway.

No, she was most definitely not going to be all right.

The door closed behind him and she watched as he shifted slowly, somewhat unsure of what he needed to do, or not do right now. He ended up going to stand beside Birch, near the couch in the living room.

Natasha felt hot, uncomfortable, aroused, and scared all at the same time. Two of these men had been inside of her body. Four of them had been given those memories, and all of them were now skittish as they looked at her standing there, her big eyes wide, her body trembling gently.

"Mr. Hughes said that you wanted to see us." Cynric said gruffly, and she didn't read whether he was frustrated by that, angry, or indifferent, she was terrified to enter their minds. Afraid that they were disgusted with her.

"Yes." Natasha nodded, trying desperately to keep her eyes on the flock leader. She could not, could NOT look at Ailen, her whole body was responding to him, her breathing was becoming erratic.

"Is everything well...with the child?" Ailen asked, taking a step forward, but stopping when Cynric brayed quickly and turned his head ever so much towards the brown satyr.

Natasha nodded, eyes reaching as far as Dwight before she forced herself not to find the gaze of the man she couldn't look at, "Yes, he is well."

"He?" That was Payton. She could look at Payton.

"Yes," Natasha nodded, smoothing a hand over her stomach, "it is a male. A satyr. He will resemble his-he will resemble a satyr."

"And you-you are well?" Cynric asked her, he was obviously unsure about why they had come here today.

Natasha nodded, "Yes, I am well."

His lips pulled a little tight, and she could feel from the way the air was thick around her that the tension in the room was high. She made them nervous.

"I wanted to tell you that I was going to leave the spa for a while. I need to-I need to go away, just for a bit." She finally met Ailen's gaze and didn't miss the look of pain that he sent her way when she spoke before he shielded it from her.

"You are leaving?" Birch asked, nervously shifting from hoof to hoof.

"But the child-?" Dwight shook his head as a few of the others brayed.

"No." Ailen's voice was dark, his words blunt and the meaning clear.

"Elarinya is staying. I will not be gone long, maybe just a few weeks. I will come back. Before the child is born." She tried to assure them, but knew they didn't like the idea.