Rudra and Riya Ch. 07

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"Where were you?"

"You startled me," I blurted clutching my heart.

"Where were you?" He asked again.

"I ...I was out shopping." I stuttered.

Ma had left with baby Neal for the farm two days ago and since Rudra was at work and hardly returned till late at night I had decided to visit the hospital for a check up.

"With who?" He gritted through his teeth

I felt my mouth go dry. I knew I shouldn't have accepted the doctors invitation for lunch. But after he was being so understanding and concerned I was unable to turn him down. I had just found out I had an embolism. I was still in a sort of a shock. Mortality wasn't something I had given much thought to my entire life. I was more concerned for the baby I was carrying. I was six months and I wasn't sure the baby would survive if the worst came to the worst.

"I asked you something," he shouted at me.

"Rudra you're hurting me?" I cried when he caught hold of my wrist and dragged me into ma's room. He threw me to the floor and within minutes he was pushing my face on his engorged cock. I submissively let him force his cock deep in my throat until my lips were slamming against his balls. I gagged and for a second he let go off me.

"You're not letting me breathe Rudra." I begged

"That's the least I can do not to strangle you with my bare hands. Now shut up before I murder you." Placing both hands on the back of my head he forced me to take his cock right into my throat again, then began to shove my face hard over it.

I knew better than to fight him in his present mood. He was ready to strangle me. I always knew how jealous he was, but lately I didn't think he cared enough to feel that way about me. Since he had found ma, I had taken a second place in his life. On some level while he was almost killing me giving me a deep- throat a tiny part of me jubilated that maybe I still meant something to him.

But for everyone's benefit I kept my jealous feelings at bay. I never let them surface. He chose to stay exceedingly with ma, but I never let it bother me because maybe I knew if I did I would do something really stupid. But some days the feelings surfaced unbidden.

He finished cuming inside my throat then kept me on his dick until I had swallowed completely. Then he let go.

"Now," he narrowed his gaze. "Next time when you go broadening your horizons do remember who you are. You're my whore and you will always remain one until the day you die. You hear that?"

I nodded hiding my eyes from him

"Say it you bitch."

I knew he was only mad because he was jealous. But it still hurt more than I could bear. "I'm your whore." I lifted my face and said through tears.

He pushed me aside and got up. "Now go fuck him, go just now for all I care."

When it was time for the next appointment I called the doctor and told him I wouldn't be coming anymore. I told him that I had started seeing another doctor and that kept him from asking me any further questions.

Ma had returned a few days ago and Rudra had decided to shift down with ma. I lay in bed that night and felt the pain burry me alive. I had expected him to walk right back to me after mother had delivered but he hadn't. I felt the baby inside me and switched on the tv. I only saw static. In the morning I found all the cameras from ma's room in the garbage. He didn't want me watching them anymore.

Too late I realized the changes that I had set in motion in my desperation of keeping Rudra to myself had made me lose him. And yet I had lost him. I began to remain confined to my room. It pained me beyond endurance to watch him with ma. I was heavy with the baby so ma didn't question why I had suddenly stopped coming down altogether. I spent time taking care of the babies. They were the only part of him that I was left with now.

I hadn't seen him in more than a fortnight and I missed him so much that I picked up the remote with trembling hands to watch him. They were in the tub sharing a bath. He had her lying against him between his legs, while he showered her with kisses, all the time murmuring things into her ear that made her blush.

"I love you," he was whispering, pecking her all over the side of her cheek. He caught hold of a breast and gently squeezed to let out a stream of milk from the circle of diamonds on ma's breast.

"Rudra I want to have another baby with you?"

"Ma its too risky and I'm not risking your like again for anything." He said squeezing her in his arms.

"Nothing is going to happen to me. I want to give you more babies. Riya has had so many of yours. Don't you love me as much?" She pouted.

He shifted uncomfortably. For a while he was quiet.

"Didn't you like impregnating me?" Ma asked hurtfully.

He squeezed her gently in her arms. "I haven't loved anything more in my life ma, to watch you grow heavy with my child. That was the most wonderful thing I've ever seen. It is every son's fantasy and I got to live it. But the fact remains. I can't risk your life again. I love you too much ma, and I will not lose you to stupid desires. You are more important to me than any babies."

He was actually in love with her. Somehow I had always thought he could never fall in love with anyone but me.

Later that night as I lay in bed I let out a sigh I had been holding a long time. I was tired of fighting it. I knew now I could not share him with anyone, not even ma. I knew it would kill me but I would have to leave because staying here was only killing me slowly. It was funny how in the end it was sharing him with mother that would teach me that I couldn't share him anyone. Before I went to sleep that night I wrote him a letter and placed it in the drawer next to the bed. Then I closed my eyes.

"Riya," he whispered in my dream. The way he used to when our world consisted of only him and me. I swallowed hard.

"Riya? Wake up baby... I need to hold you." He kissed my face hugging me to him. "I had such a bad dream."

I woke to realize that I was crying.

"Riya? " He sat in bed and flicked the lights on. "Are you all right baby?" He forced me to look at him.

"I'm sorry baby. Won't you forgive me." He said hugging me to him but all I could do was feel my aching heart.

"Riya are you all right?" He asked anxiously when I began to wheeze.

I couldn't speak. All I felt was an overwhelming sadness in the pit of my stomach, engulfing me in its darkness.

"Riya talk to me please. Are you all right?"

"You love ma..."

"I love you too baby."

I shook my head to free myself of him. If I didn't put enough distance between us I would die.

But he held me harder against himself. "What did you expect Riya? You pushed me into her arms, then you forced me to marry her and then we got pregnant and now we have a baby together. What did you expect was going to happen Riya? Yes, I love her now. But I love you too" He said gently.

It was one thing to have my doubts about it. But when he confirmed it a cold settled over my heart, like I had swallowed a block of ice. It made me tremble. I would call the university tomorrow for openings somewhere far away from here, from him, from them, I would die if I didn't.

"Riya we've got to talk about this baby."

But I couldn't.

Then I felt it, a stab of pain in my jaw. It painfully traveled down to my heart and I broke into a cold sweat convulsing against him. The baby jerked inside me.

My love

I've missed you and so I write to you. Even though you're a few paces away, I cannot seem to cover that distance just to be in your arms one last time. So I'm going to leave in the hope that the distance between us will bring us together again. I have done this I know. To you, to myself and to ma. So it is only fair that I pay the price for it.

If you're reading this, then I'm already gone. But I'm with you now in more ways than before. You are the love of my life. I have been uncertain and immature about many things in life. But this I have never been uncertain of, not for a moment, that I have always belonged to you.

Tell ma I'm leaving you in her care. Until we meet again...

I love you.

Riya