Rudra and Riya Ch. 07

He was back again that night. But this time he wanted my throat around his dick not my cunt. He pulled off his bottoms, his boxers and sat on the edge of the bed. Then he made me kneel between his legs. I began to suck him but that wasn't what he wanted. Impatiently he pushed my face over his dick until I had him to his hilt. His balls pressed against my lips and I waited for him to loosen his hold on my head. By the time he allowed me to breathe I almost gagged with suffocation. He pushed me back on his cock again and moaned when his head hit my throat. This time though I had timed my breathing. I pushed my arms behind him to hold him around his waist. I knew what he wanted from me. I shuffled closer to him and pushed his cock further into my throat and heard him moan. Then I let him shove me over and over on his dick until he came in a long stream inside my throat. He was done and fell back into bed exhausted from the brunt of his orgasm. "I love you." I whispered.

Then exhausted both physically and mentally he was trudging back to ma's side. He made her sleep in her arms and I remembered how much I missed sleeping in his arms myself. The pregnancy had changed something in him. He was so gentle with ma like his very touch might hurt her. He protected her even from himself. The thought shook me and unbidden tears welled in my eyes. But I knew after ma had the baby he would come back to me.

Morning was so full of activity that I hardly found time to dwell on my thoughts. A little time with ma and I felt ashamed of my feelings. She was having a hard time with the pregnancy and he was rightly worried about her. When he left I stayed with ma helping with the morning sickness, the dizzy spells. Besides her enthusiasm in spite of her condition was quite infectious.

"Rudra said if it's a boy he'll name him Neal and if it's a girl Nila." She told me smiling even though I'd heard that part of their late night conversation already. "I told him it was stupid to call her by my name. It will be confusing?"

He said, "We call you ma and Nila will be Nila so there will be no confusion. I think he's happy about having the baby, don't you Riya?"

I nodded bringing a smile to my face.

"And I have you to thank for it Riya. If it hadn't been for you, I would still be a lonely woman. There was no life in me. I had nothing to look forward to. And now all thanks to you, I have a husband and I will give him many sons. You'll see."

I felt sad. Here she was thinking of giving him sons and I was waiting for her to have one so Rudra would come to back to me. I felt ashamed.

****

But when I saw him shower her with affection something quite unholy stirred in the pit of my stomach. I subdued it with some effort, but subdue it I did for the sake of my mother. She needed this happiness in her life. She needed him in her life. Just as much as I did. Besides we had come too far. I'd just have to make it work now. None of us would be able to live without him and he couldn't live without either of us. The thought nearly suffocated me. No matter how it made me feel in the future I would just have to make this work now.

That night when he came to bed and began to fuck me I let him do as he pleased. I did not say anything or try to keep him longer than need be. He would do so once ma had the baby. He was just worried that was all. I covered myself once he was done and saw him head back to her then. That night I did not watch them. Maybe some things were just left unseen.

In the morning I was woken to the sound of the car engine. I checked the time to see if I'd overslept. It was still early morning.

I quickly went down to check on him and ma but there was no one in the room. I came running back to the room and gave him a call.

"What's wrong?" I asked worriedly.

"She's..." he choked. "She's not feeling well and am taking her to Sid. I don't care what he thinks of me."

"Okay, give me a call when you can."

He ended the call.

I slumped into a chair and pushed my face into my palms. I was trembling. So many thoughts ran through my mind that I couldn't make head or tail of them. If anything happened to her he wouldn't survive it. I knew how he was with saying goodbyes. It niggled at my conscience. In my hurry to get them together, to have her pregnant there were many things I hadn't thought through and now he was paying for my mistakes

The babies were crying and my mind came to the present. I stood and felt so sick and dizzy that I sat back down.

I tried to calm my nerves, breathing deeply then once again I stood to check on the babies. By the time he called I was close to a nervous break down myself.

"She's better now. But she's anaemic and I'm glad I got her here in time." He whispered. "She's sleeping right now." His voice dripped with the love he felt for her.

I nodded too overwhelmed to answer.

"When are you coming home?" I don't know why but I missed him so much right now.

"I don't know. I almost want to keep her here until she has the baby. I'm just so worried."

"Don't worry, she's in good hands now. Let me know how she is when you can next." We ended the call then and in a daze I began to work around the house, cleaning, scrubbing taking care of the babies. I didn't sit for an instant lest it give me time to think how I felt about how this was all unfolding. I had taken his sexual needs into account while I was planning this but never his emotional response to all this. Faced with them I didn't know how to react now or what to make of them.

At night by the time he called I was so dead beat I could hardly feel anything but the impending tunnel of darkness that waited for me at the end of my sleep.

He was going to keep ma at the hospital for a few days as a precautionary measure.

The next day I woke up tired and worn out with the same pain in the pit of my stomach. I tried everything for it to go but it persisted as did my rotten thoughts.

When they came back it was as much I could do not to run into his arms and hug and kiss him. I had missed him so much. One week of horror I had faced in his absence and now all I wanted to do was get into bed with him. But it would have to wait. I wanted him so much right now emotionally since I had discovered my own little secret the day before.

I sat next to mother holding her hand in bed, while Rudra sat next to her on the other side. "How are you feeling now?"

"Fit as a fiddle." She replied. "Had it been for me, I would've come back home the very next day. But Rudra wouldn't just allow it. I stayed there so he could stop worrying."

I knew even before he came into bed, that he would be coming. He hadn't had sex in a week. "How have you been?" He asked plunging into me and my answer was just a moan and the circle of my arms that tightened around him. He began to slow fuck me until he built the tempo and made me scream. When he began to move out I refused to let him go.

"Riya stop it baby. You know I can't spend the night. Ma needs me."

I only snuggled closer to him in answer.

"Riya please baby." He beseeched. "You know how much she needs me right now. You saw how weak she is."

"I want you." I sounded selfish even to myself.

"Stop it Riya!" He snapped with frustration. "You were not even there. I was. To see her like that." He shook his head again gulping. "And to know I put her there. Let go off me."

I did then. The sooner he left the better it would be. I didn't want him to see me cry.

My hand slipped to my belly where it ached like it had for the past week. But instead of crying I felt numb, questioning the purpose of my existence.

I couldn't have him so I held the babies a little longer than I needed to in my arms, caressing them and pecking them all over. At least in them a part of him would just belong to me. There was no need for me to share this part of him with anyone.

But my mind still kept traveling to him. When I saw him holding her tight in his arms, it hurt. So I switched off the tv and went back to sleep in the nursery closer to the babies. In the morning I did not feel like waking up, but I did. Ma was unwell and I had to take care of everything. The work kept me busy most days and that's how the days began to roll until one night I couldn't help myself.

"Spend the night with me," I tried to sound casual. I didn't want him to know how much I was missing him. That the more he stayed away from me, the more my existence pressed back into the shadows.

"Riya grow up," his rebuke was a lance piercing through my heart. For an instant I held my breath so the pain wouldn't break me in two. I nodded being glad for the darkness that we were in, so he wouldn't know how much that had hurt.

"She's pregnant for God's sake. She shouldn't be having a baby at this age. She's fifty- five for god's sake." He violently shook his head. "If anything happens to her, ..." With that he scrambled out of bed and strode back to ma.

I switched the tv on just in time he got into bed with ma, the way he tenderly held her against him feeling the fast growing baby inside her. She was almost eight months gone.

I lay down in bed with a sigh. Our roles had reversed. I was ma now, for him to have wanton sex with and ma was me in need of his love and protection. I had no one to blame for it but myself. I was the one getting off at the idea of him marrying ma. I was the one who had given wings to ma's desire of having a baby with him. I had made my bed and now I thought I should have the grace to lie in it. I felt the part of him that was growing inside me. At least I wasn't all alone in all this. I had some part of him with me. I smiled wistfully and turning off the tv tried to go to sleep.

The next day I woke up tired and worn out. Lately that's how I felt all the time. Every morning I brought the babies to sleep next to me in bed. I fed them lying on my side until I regained my strength. With ma keeping unwell I had to take care of the meals, Rudra left during the morning but usually turned up by afternoon so that was a god send.

"You're looking pale," he mentioned when he came into the kitchen to take lunch for ma. "Are you all right? That's all I need now you falling sick too." He sounded tired and irritable.

He was forever upset with me these days, I thought teary eyed when he had left. I knew he was worried and exhausted beyond endurance, but so was I and I didn't take it out on her.

*****

"How are you feeling today ma?" I asked while I helped her out of the bed onto her porch. I brought back and placed two pillows behind her. "Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, thank you my darling." She said weakly.

As she was nearing the ninth month, ma had been suffering from anaemia again. It worried me to see her in this state. The state I was responsible for putting her in. It had never occurred to me back then that the pregnancy could become life threatening for her. I felt ashamed. Maybe Rudra had always been right about me. I was immature to the extent of being thoughtless.

"How are you feeling?" She asked pointing at my bump. Ma knew that I was pregnant even if the love of my life didn't. I was five months myself and had started to show. A few days ago he had managed to call me fat. "One day you're as thin as a reed and the next you're growing like a cow around your waist," he ridiculed. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Back when I was the only one in his life, he picked on my thoughts like he was reading them off the back of his hand. I could not believe he was the same person. He fucked me and touched me and he still didn't know.

As I bent down to pick up toys in the nursery I felt it again, the strange fluttering in my chest. I stood back up and felt my heart.

That night when he visited me after putting ma to sleep, I almost told him to be gentle with me like he used to be. But I knew that would open up pandora's box that I had no way of closing. My chest had been hurting all day and it had started to worry me.

There were no preambles, no love making, he took me hard and fast. I had noticed that after his interludes with ma or the lack thereof these days, he had become exceedingly difficult to gratify. He held on to the bed post and lifted himself to relentlessly ram his hard- on into me. I held on to him. This was the only time I got to feel him against me. I let my hands wander all over him. I kissed his shoulder and whispered how much I loved him."

But in his ecstasy he groaned ma's name instead of mine.

When he was done and about to leave I almost asked him to stay with me in bed. But I didn't. Instead I felt my aching heart. He went into the shower while I covered my nakedness and tried to go to sleep. The baby was agitated and my hand kept slipping to settle him. I wondered whether we had hurt him.

"Shh, calm down baby, you're all right aren't you?" I murmured. Mama's here with you, calm down darling."

"I don't believe this!" He was astounded and I froze. "Are you pregnant?" My heart lurched painfully. He gaped for a moment unable to put into words his outrage. "Which part of I don't want you pregnant did you not understand Riya?" He thundered. "Answer me Damn it?"

He came to stand over me. His face dark and menacing. "Damn you Riya! Damn you! Don't give me a moment's peace all right. "Because that would be asking for too much from you."

My heart was going to explode if he didn't stop shouting at me. But I lay there too scared to move let alone speak while he ranted, "I wish I could beat some sense into you," he shouted. "Damnit I can't deal with this right now." He walked out in anger.

Silent sobs tore at my lungs. I tried to calm myself down. I began to grow breathless and I felt scared with the way my heart felt. And at once I was worried about the baby.

I needed to get this fixed. I'd have to get in touch with the doctor and soon. I had postponed it far too long.

"Riya," I heard him shouting in my sleep. It made me feel sad. "Riya." Then I was awake at once.

I scrambled out of bed then leaned against the door to let the dizziness pass before I could get to the landing.

"What's wrong?"

"Ma won't wake up. I think she's fainted. Come down." He snapped and my blood ran cold.

"No, no please god, please," I prayed all the way to the hospital.

"Please let her live. Please. Don't make me pay like this." I sobbed. I saw Rudra's face in the rare mirror and my heart twisted with pain. "He wouldn't be able to tolerate her loss." "Please God," I repeated in my head over and over until we were at the hospital.

When she woke Rudra crept into bed next to her and cradled her in his arms. His eyes were blood shot and he looked haggard. "I love you so much. Don't ever do this to me again. I'm sorry for putting you here ma." He choked.

"You didn't put me here," ma whispered. "I'm all right honey, stop crying now. We're soon going to have a baby. Aren't you happy?" She feigned sadness.

I saw Rudra feel the baby inside her. "I love him and I love you, but don't do this to me again ma, I can't lose you when I've just found you."

"You're not going to lose me baby, stop crying now."

She called me to herself to give me a hug. "Stop it now both of you, I'm all right."

She turned to Rudra again. "I'm having your baby Rudra. You like it don't you?"

Rudra nodded. "I love that more than anything ma. But you can't leave me now. I can't live without you ma."

In that moment I did not know whether bringing ma and Rudra together had been an immature decision. They were in love. But they were suffering because of it too. Maybe love always came at a price.

Watching them croon and murmur and lay entangled in each other's arms stirred something in the pit my stomach. I had learned to take the good with the bad now. I was still sexually aroused to watch them together but feared to think of what their growing fondness of each meant for me. My heart ached and suddenly I remembered I could ask the doctor for help. When Rudra was busy with ma, I snuck into the doctor's office.

"How long have you been feeling the symptoms?"

"A month or so." I answered.

"And you decided to come now?"

I looked down.

"I'll have to run some tests. I can't just prescribe a medicine just like that."

"I can't undergo tests right now. He'll know something is wrong and I don't want him to worry needlessly."

He was thoughtful.

He began to write a prescription. "I'm writing this based on your previous history. But you need to come back for a through check up."

I nodded.

"And Riya you need to take this seriously. You have history of heart disease. And getting pregnant so soon again, what were you thinking?"

"Are you okay with their relationship?"

I nodded trying to look normal.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, absolutely," I said convincingly.

"Wow! He's one lucky bastard. Tell him to share the secret. I'm all ears."

I couldn't help but chuckle.

"What are you doing here? I was looking for you."

My breath caught in my throat and my heart cringed painfully.

"I...I," I stuttered.

It was the good doctor then who came to the rescue.

"She was asking if it would be wise to take your mother home or stay here."

"And?"

"I think it would be wise if you kept her here now under constant vigilance. With that you can go back to living your normal lives without having to worry about her."

Rudra nodded. But he gave me a strange look before we left the doctor's cabin.

Only fifteen days into the medication I was feeling better than before. I couldn't get a check up yet as long as Ma was still here.

As per the doctor's advice, for the last month of the pregnancy Rudra forced ma to stay at the hospital. It was a wise decision but that left me alone at home with the babies. Rudra stayed exceedingly at the hospital returning only once a week home to leave supplies and groceries. He kept going back and forth between his suite in the city that was close to the hospital. I missed him was like the understatement of the century. It was the most difficult month of my entire life.

Baby Neal came into the world on his father's birthday. Rudra was thrilled beyond measure and in that moment everything seemed worth all the woes. Ma was brought home during the weekend. Rudra couldn't stop kissing her. I watched as their mouths met and Rudra sucked on ma's mouth like it was his only source of water in the desert. Something stirred in the pit of my stomach and the baby moved uneasily inside me. For the next few days they were inseparable. Sometimes at night I could watch Rudra murmur into ma's ear while the baby fed at her breast. At other times Rudra would latch on to the other breast while father and son shared their mother.

"Not yet," ma would swat his hand away from her pussy. "Let me at least heal down there." She would feign annoyance.

Some nights Rudra would climb up to my room and in the middle of the night like old times I would feel his hand on my behind. Then he would be fucking me. But since ma had come back home I hadn't got the opportunity to go the hospital for my medication or the check up and sometimes when Rudra fucked me too hard I grew breathless and my heart fluttered painfully.

He wasn't pleased when I refused him. I knew it had been a while since he'd fucked. Ma had wet his appetite for wild sex and in my condition I seemed incapable of giving him any respite from his urges.

However he let me give him a blow job and didn't force me to have sex with him most times. He would absently look at the bulge I was carrying and try to satisfy himself other ways. Then like his mind was elsewhere, he would hop two steps at a time to get to ma and the baby. He couldn't endure to keep them out of sight for long.

I din't think he would miss me if I left now. I was mostly invisible to him. My heart was really giving me a lot of trouble as the pregnancy progressed so I decided I would use this opportunity to visit the doctor.