All Comments on 'The Dream Wife'

Just proves the bitch gene is present in all women it just needs to be activated by a whim.

Dan's wives cheated on him because he had no balls. This story was obviously written by a male bashing women. The story was just too unbelievable, I cannot believe that a wimp like Dan could exist unless he was one of those willing cuckold types who likes cream pies and sloppy seconds. What ever, or who ever you are, you write very well, which makes the sick content of your stories all the more nauseating. I think it's significant that this guy Dan is tied with the Dan from "An Innocent Question" by Ohio as the two biggest wimps in Literotica (or maybe Ted from "Elinor Rigby" by HDK. To close to call).

I suppose now that she's got her devoted husband back, whose been shit on from very high above, she can go back to work and deal with Frank on a daily basis.

Sorry, but only someone with extreme spastic tendencies would take this whore back. This fuckwit Dan has a lot to learn about forgiveness.

The shitty thing about this story is that as an author, you write very well. Pity you clearly have the backbone of a jellyfish.

Cya, wouldn't wanna be ya.

If only people talk. Talk with each other when it's really necessary and not inevitable. Mostly when they talk it's to late.

Nice work. Keep on writing and keep your smile about unfriendly comments.

Regards

Nucleus

The husband has no balls and no brain.

fluent writing, good story. Don't like his wives. Not either one of them. He said it when he was in her office : she should have tlked to him before fucking Frank. And then to confess that she used this as an excuse to just do that. As if a blowjob and a fuck can make the mental cruelty and the images go away. No way.

my god that story is proof you are not a writer and for sure not a story teller, simply put it stinks.

that you are not a "one hit wonder" and Moment of Clarity was not a fluke. Another well thought out story that is exceptionally well written. Congratulations!!!!! I did say I was looking forward to seeing more of your work. Thanks for making it such a short wait. Keep them coming.

i see that anonymous is still the 'take no prisoners bastard' he always was.

It was a good story. Yeah, i thought some parts were a bit heavy, but it ended up with Dan and Caroline together and that's all that is needed for now. Maybe they'll come unglued or maybe they'll make it for the rest of their lives. all they have is the chance to make a go of it. that's all anyone could ever hope for. That little secret that Dan would take to his grave is his own to have and hold. Just like the sex with The blond will be her secret. She liked it but did not hvae an orgasam ? good story. not gret so you get the 4.

If H20wader recomended the story it can only be crap

She admits she had sex with someone from her office because she wanted to do so. She is going to be the best wife he can have?

But, no mention of how she plans, or even intends to regain his trust in her as a wife and partner. So, either trust isn't important to him, which is entirely incredible considering his past experience of betrayal, or the author fails to account for this glaring hole in the relationship.

She intentionally cheats on him, and yet responds with jealousy, and has a complete absence of guilt regarding her betrayal of him other than to say she's sorry during sex, which makes the sentiment empty words at best?

The author has created a male character that is entirely superficial, interested solely in sex, his words to the contrary, defined by his actions. It is a mistake to believe that because males are not typically as expressive of emotions as females, that males do not feel emotions with as much depth as females. On one hand, he seems by his actions to be moved greatly by the betrayal of his first wife, and yet he completely disregards it by his actions toward his second wife, whose betrayal could be considered far worse.

The potential for this story was there, and it is well written, but ultimately, the behavior is contrary and inconsistent. The author should reconsider this, most people do not completely alter their behavior to such a degree, even due to traumatic experiences. Such an aberration would take decades to occur.

Nothing more to say!

This was a story that started with a lot of promise, and all the way through the plot twist at the end (where Dan finally gets the job done and realizes that she wasn't the woman she seemed to be, either) I was intrigued. But the ending comes across as nothing more than a "stroke" ending, designed solely to give readers a little titillation...and to leave it with a happy ending (no pun intended).

I truly think this story could have been much stronger if that last major plot twist had been either left out completely or else if DanielQSteele1 had stuck to the path that it opened in the story. Either they get together, or he has his realization and leaves to find happiness...but this story is diminished - and diminished greatly - because the author tried to have it all happen.

Lots of emotions al over the place: her, his, Holly's and Bill's. A bit too ostentatious for me, but it's your cast of characters. However the writing is eceptional and the characters are believable. Thank you.

P.S. I'm all for reconciliation if it's due but I think I wouldn't have taken Caroline back.

DQS,

Very good job. I love how you wove the emotive stuff into an excellent storyline.

Matt Moreau

It was perfect until ( including ) the discussion in her office. The end was very LIT oriented. It's a pity if that was your choice.

I can see that you have a lot of talent. My problems with the story were not major. I saw no reason for the page about how the couple met. It had nothing to do with the story that i could tell. Her later explanation about the child being another man's was enough. It made the story a bit wordy and longer than needed.

The other problem was the second wife getting laid before she even let him know there was a problem. She said she loved him, so it seems it would have been discussed. When your wife has a revenge fuck and you don't even know why, it seems difficult to forgive. She was pretty damn evil... and she still works with the stud. What happens the next time she is upset, or suppose he mutters the wrong name in his sleep?

I admit my stories often are a bigger stretch than this, but my stories are intended to be lighter than this story. This was very powerful, with deep emotion and pain. That meant, to me, that it had to stay in the totally believable realm of human interaction. The second wife just seemed way off the wall and not as believable as the rest of the story. I think it was very well done. Make no mistake about that!

I am not against reconciliation but wasn't this a tad...quick?<p>

He said it in her office - he would have never maliciously hurt her. Despite all she did Holly never intentionally wanted to hurt him. She did. Without letting him know anything was wrong she intentionally went out and fucked another guy. Then she told him she did to hurt him. I think that is called burning your bridges.<P>

Holly and she hit him with body blows that were as severe as they get and he was still okay. I thought what he told her in the office was right on. He had found love twice and could find it again.<P>

Take her back eventually? Maybe? Immediately? Never. <P>

Thanks for sharing.

I gave this story a good score because the writing was at such a high level, but I had serious problems with it. First off, I disagree with the premise that he needed to forgive Holly. Why? He needed to move on from loving her, and lots of people move on with their lives without forgiving. She didn't deserve his forgiveness. She treated him like total shit and basically got off scot-free, and now she gets to have him forgive her? Give me a break! As it was, the conversation he had with Holly wasn't really about forgiveness, it was about understanding, showing again that forgiveness premise was bunk in the first place.

Caroline was setting him up to fail, and it showed with her surprise that he actually succeeded in his task. It looked like she wanted him to fail and this was just a convenient excuse so she could end her marriage and have fun playing around, so it makes no sense when she's suddenly all keen to get back with him. That may not have been your intention, but that's how it looks to this reader.

Secondly, I normally love a good reconciliation ending, but this one felt forced and unjustified. It really looks like he'd seen the light about Caroline, and then her comments reveal even more selfishness on her part, and suddenly his stance completely turns around? It makes it seem like guys only care about sex, and a good blowjob and fuck will get him to agree to anything. It was very telling that he didn't even feel bad after seeing Caroline in her office and agreeing to the divorce. Caroline needed to do something dramatic to overcome that, to make a reconciliation justified, and she didn't. In fact, her words and actions at the end mostly made clear that he was right with his previous stance. Sure, it was nice she was being honest, but her honesty also showed he had very good reason to worry, and he has nothing more to go on than her word that from this moment onwards she'll be completely different than how she ever was before.

You know what would be interesting? A sequel, where the tables are turned. He gets back with her, but he no longer trusts her, and with good reason. They're headed for a break-up. He presents her with an ultimatum: she has to prove he was right to take her back, and restore his trust. How can she do that? (And lots and lots of fucking is not a good enough answer!) It would be an interesting shoe-is-on-the-other-foot scenario that, if done right, could make up for this unsatisfying ending to a good story.

to start off... every day should have at least one story like this. great dialogues, fleshed out characters, no saints/no devils, just people.

the story had a wonderful build up, leaving us in the dark why on earth his wife cheated on him...then unveiling a motive never seen in here, yet very plausible, followed by a tantalizing episode making us wonder if she was still having sex with frank. then this exquisitely original question of hers to avoid divorce: go and forgive the bitch. the writer even makes it plausible how he goes about that and i think the finest moment of the story is when he surprises catherine not only by telling her he did the thing she'd asked him (forgiving his ex-wife) but also proving that catherine could not possibly love him.

he had seen the light, so did we...and then the same wonderful writer douses it. the way caroline tried to fight her way back into his heart (via his cock, how banale) contrasts with the rest of the story like pork swill on a three star menue. why, for god's sake? why spoil such an original, subtle, human story with an ending like that? to get a happy ending? to get some more sex into it? i have not the faintest idea, but i don't like it a bit.

as stated above...i'll go for a story like this any day. thanks for an entertaining hour. but please, next time be more confident about what you really excell in.

would have had him walking out and signing the divorce papers...i really don't see, after the realization with Holly, that he would seriously be in a forgiving mood for Caroline's transgression...love or not...it was disappointing to see the "forced" happy ending

You had a really great story going right until the end. It was like you suddenly remembered the name of the site and had to add some sex. Your character regained himself and it all flowed well, but the ending was like someone else you were writing about. Why have him go through hell, just to toss away the self-respect he recovered. You have talent, but you sure messed up a good story.

M

But I have to agree with the peanut galley! The ending caused me to enter an irritated state. The question of whether he loved her or not did not even cross is mind. A bit of sexual pleasure and he forgets the epiphany he had in her office. She deliberatelly hurt him and was planning on moving on. How could he ever trust her again? Maybe they ought to agree on a safe word for the future? The interesting thing is that a tragedy turned beautiful offering visions of salvation and then returned to the status of a tragedy! Keep writing . You are great and it is my duty to accept being kicked in the stomach once in a while! Perhaps when I reread it I will stop the story with his exiting her office! That was an ending that I really liked.

At the minimum he should use that old Ohio trick of completing the divorce and then start dating her to see it it works!

I wholeheartedly agree with Angiquesophie's critique. I have never commented to disagree with a writer's plot; that seems to be the writer's prerogative. And all other facets of this story save the ending were unbelievably outstanding and original. We have an original and believable reason for Holly's actions, an original and believable reason for Caroline's actions, and for most of the story realistic responses by our husband/hero. Then, as the moment of epiphany hits and the story reaches its logical conclusion, the writer chose--unwisely--to write on and force a happy ending that didn't fit with what came before it.

Simply put, the husband's quick and sudden forgiveness of Caroline--particularly after she heaps on even more and admits she really wanted to bang Frank all along--did not fit anything that came before it. As a result, Holly ends up becoming the most sympathetic and well-rounded character in the story, which I'm not sure was intentional. The husband--and I don't care to call him a wimp; I prefer to think the ending made him simply shallow--ends up ignoring the epiphany he finally saw about Caroline's actions. As such, he has learned nothing except that Holly never loved him.

Holly, on the other hand, is the only character who grew in the story. Character growth and change is the most interesting part of any story, and Holly went from a perceived--and actual--adultress to someone who realized she needed to become honest and find true love. And our original hero? Well, he ignored everything Holly told him about the need to find true love and went back with a woman who intentionally set out to destroy him. His first instincts were correct, and I believe the writer should've left it at that.

As I said in my comment to Mr. Steele's first story, the hardest part about any story is deciding the appropriate place to end it. I believe he missed the mark here.

This story is a well-written mess.

It flows quite nicely, even if I didn't care for some of what was going on, until the very end.

Author, you are indeed facile with the written word. I truly enjoyed the writing. I just hated the ending.

Only your second story and you already joined the wimps.

Is author a woman? A 25 YO metrosexual? Gay? Live in a shack on a mountain mating with all his cousins? This guy Dan becomes a bigger wimp sentence by sentence in this story. Spineless guy Dan spends most of his life being shit on and used by women. But still wants to keep them?!?! Can't find the spine to dump their sorry asses and just walk away?!?! Latest case: Caroline fucks Frank and files for divorce cause Dan talks in his sleep about Holly. PRETTY BIG TRANSGRESSION ON DAN'S PART HUH? But that's not enough to drive Dan away from her cause he's a brain dead idiot without any pride. So lets get his straight, a woman can have sooo much female pride that she can go nuclear on the marriage if the guy even mentions another woman, but the guy has to accept anyone fucking his wife right in front of him and take her right back if the other guys weiner doesn't do it for her. And if he doesn't, why he's some kind of caveman, and worse of all, HE HAS MALE PRIDE. (OH NO, MALE PRIDE!!!) Why doesn't Dan just cut out the middle man and go suck Frank off. What kind of man bashing, trailer trash hillybilly group sex everybody screwing everybody elses wife raising somebody elses kid, PC, metrosexual story is this?? Sad, but I'm sure alot of guys would put up with this: Caroline wakes up one day and says, "Lets see, I want to screw Frank today; tomorrow I'll give hubbie, Dan, some hoops to jump through and if he does good I'll let him screw me: but then I'll screw Frank again. Gee, I can lead these morons around by their noses anywhere and time I want!!" Hard to feel anything but contempt for any of these characters. And Holly? Dan apparently heard her story, but never learned anything cause he's in the process of having an instant replay with Caroline (lights on, no one at home). Female characters deceitful and strong, male: lost and wimpy. Notice Dan was even very civil when confronting Frank in the office (remember Frank, the guy who screws his wife and fondles her tits in public). Pathetic! Well written like a Russian novel, but its a Russian novel about a bunch of dogs lining up in the alley to screw bitches in heat and then go lick themselves.

Two excellently written stories with a real-life feel. Like one or two others, I'm not entirely convinced by the resolution of this one, BUT, they are your stories. Write them your way. Do not compromise your talent by trying to pander to a particular audience. It will compromise the plot and writing.

Personally, and I'm sure some will have worked this out already, I would torch the bitches.

You get the reader into the character's head in some scenes but then it's like they're pieces of wood you're moving around on stage.

lost both his wives. Took back the second one. Hope he likes raising other mens children and and paying "their "way thru life. Holly tells him and he listens but does not hear. Caroline fucks the office stud and will continue to do so. At least Dan won't be alone. He'll have all these other guys kids to "love" until they find out the truth. The story was told okay, and "Dan" is a much better man than I, but he should wake up soon. A dog licks his ass because he can, Dan does it because he likes it.

I am in complete agreement with Angiquespohie. This was a really well written story with some some clever and unusual twists that made it fresh. Dan went through an amazing and agonizing journey to finally get the true story from Holly and understand what Caroline did. Holly was selfish and he was collateral damage. Caroline set out to inflict damage on him for things he couldn't control. She wouldn't even give him the courtesy of talking with him about it. And she set him an impossible task. But in an heroic way he accomplished what she told him to do and much, much more.

<br><br>

And then he totally drops all that he has learned because she gives him a blowjob? This reduced him immediately to a caricature man being lead around by his balls. It also trivializes Caroline's grievances and makes all her actions even worse. All she really needs now is HOT SEX. After going through all he had and have the live changing meeting with Holly he just jumps back into bed with Caroline? Really? Sorry. This was on track to be a very powerful story but now it feels like the author created a creature with the head of a lion but the back end of a donkey. It's pretty ugly and rather disappointing. <br><br>

A general comment here. I often have the observation that authors take a great deal of care with the beginning and middle of their stories but get to the end and loose their focus. Things don't come together well or feel rushed. Characters that we get to know act totally out of character to conclude the story. Just something to think about.

You had a great story in the palm of your hand, and you threw it all away.

Very weak ending! Dropping them both and moving on was the right way to end it.

I loved this story; until the last page and a half. After all the SHIT he was given by Holly and then have the next one fuck around on him and not even talk to him. I just lost it. I read stories from my viewpoint. I would not like either one of these sluts after they Shit on me. However, you do write good stories. Keep trying.

You've got talent that is for sure. Do all of us a favor and include a "wimp" warning at the start of any story you write where the guy takes back a cheating whore. That will save us (the readers) from having to suffer through such crap.

Outstanding way to write and twist things around!

If I was Dan I would still be praying for that nasty hatefull bitch Holly to die every day!!

As for Caroline She couldn't have done anything more hurtfull! Did she forget how to talk? I don't beleive I could be as forgivng as Dan. It would take one hell of a long time to get over. But that kind of betrayl and hurt lingers for years and comes to ones thoughts even for decades.

But when you love someone hard that lets it be fixable.

As for Frank He would be in a hospital somewhere licking his wounds after the beat down I would have given him. Bigger or not there are to many equalizers to use for that to be a factor.

Thanks for writing!

Until the last part where the husband takes the wife back. The only possible way to get the marriage back on a even keel is to let the husband go out and get laid by the redhead in the office. That is the least Caroline could do.

This was an extremely well written story, with great character development and an intriguing plot. Like many I was a bit disappointed in the ending, not in that they reconciled, but that it happened to easily. Save for a couple little comments, there was nothing to show that she understood the hurt she caused, nor that she truly was sorry.

I would have liked to see more on the build up to the reconciliation (while many wanted him to dump the bitch, it is the author's choice to bring them back together) in order to allow it to happen in a more plausible way, thus fitting in better with the rest of the story.

Still, for a second effort, it is a good read and I look forward to more from the author.

andrewpeters

well written and absorbing. keep up the good work and remember that not every cheater has to die of AIDS, and that the people who use the word "wimp" in their comments will shortly go back to their usual pastime of sitting on their front porches throwing empty beer cans at passersby.

On your first story I pointed out that your readers had missed the husbands rationale for leaving his wife - not her four year affair, but because he felt he wasn't able to be the husband that she deserved. So this story is NO surprise - and once again well done! (Some of us actually want our stories to vary from one to the next.)<p><br>

But, the reconciliation in this story is NOT unrealistic. I've read that in 65% of cases of infidelity, that the spouses reconcile (at least the first time). Of course, the question of trust arises: despite her protestations, how will our hero ever get to the point where he isn't at least somewhat suspicious that under the right circumstances his wife won't decide to try out another man again? Just for curiosities sake, of course! HA.<p><br>

By the way, it's spelled 'Viagra' - just because it sounds like Niagara doesn't mean it's spelled that way. A word every LW writer NEEDS to know!<p><br>

Another wonderful read.

Dear DQS:

Don't take it too hard! All these comments, with all this passion in them, should communicate to you how much your writing means to people.

I agree with the very thoughtful remarks by angiquesophie, Harddaysknight, and others. Like them I found the sudden turnaround in Dan's attitude towards Caroline troubling and unconvincing. After seeing clearly what a deeply hateful thing she had done to him (as opposed to telling him of the pain his words in his sleep were causing her, and perhaps suggesting that they work on the problem), to turn around and accept her again because she's prepared to be his little slut seems to diminish the power and importance of all the emotion earlier in the story.

Please keep writing! As I've said, people are reacting so strongly to your stories because they're very well-done, powerful and engrossing. You'll never please all your readers--believe me, I know all about that!--but we're very grateful to have the chance to read your work.

Thanks, ohio

Are like Matt M just not belivable for a normal guy, while they may be well written I personally don't like them, and in the end thats all that matters, do I like this? The answer is no!

who're all libertines along with all fems, would respond in the way this writer has her main character behave. He doesn't really have that infamous 'frail male ego' feminists are always talking about, he is just himself, prone to just going with the flow of life, whatever comes his way. As far as 'talking' that's a waste of time for these peeps, all they want is 'action' yano?

this is awful. Well written to be sure but it is pathetic.

Dan claims to have a Eureka life changing moment... so he course he takes Carolina back and she fucks him.

WHAT? this is a sad joke

You are a skilled writer that certainly knows how to weave a clever story. I was drawn in immediately with you tale and could not put it down. I read it again and again. It was well written and took turns I did not expect. It also had a ending I wasn't expecting but turned out well. Thank you for sharing.

I think this poor guy should join a monastary and stay away from women. Between wife number one who neve loved him in the ten years she was married to him and wife number two who loved him and cheated on him, this poor guy can't win. Skillfully written story, but strange plot .Please keep writing but create better plots.

60 year old George

I changed the locks the next day. I signed the papers and had my attorney file them with the court. He says that Florida doesn't allow alienation of affection law suits. I thought about getting another blow job from Caroline, but that would put her too close to my balls.

I think it speaks volumes that so many persons here--- even those who normally love or give praise to any story- no matter how lame -- really do not like the ending except for one person.

Matt Moreau. If that isnt telling .....

Your a fantastic writer and story teller. The characters and emotions were real to us as we read your tale. The emotions, the hurt, love, confusion and the loss. It grabbed me right at the start and never let go. I really enjoy your writing style and wonder if your writing from real life or your fertile imagination. You do it so well. As for the ending, I can see it. Though you have your distractors who wine and cry when the ending is not to thier taste of total destruction. I applaud you to writng the story you want to write.

Keep up the fantastic work. Just a little jealous. Would dearly love to have your skills and talent. Thank You for sharing with us. I look forward to more of your tales.

Morefunn

The story collapses because the writer only explains Caroline's motivation NOT her thought process on how she decided on her actions.

I think what is shocking here for many readers is the ease that this writer who wrote such a fabulous story with Moment Of Clarity could suddenly turn around and write such a obvious male bashing hateful story. It is filled with some pretty nasty straight anti-male bashing language imagery and characterizations. If such things like this were said about women in a SERIOUS LW story here ... a lot of readers would be up in arms.

Look everybody has urges needs and get honey. but most of the time a Man are not just a penis with brain. You cannot get every single issue solved simply by offering him BJ.

That's sort of imagery and plot device is just hateful and vile. It's like saying you can get African-Americans to work harder if you give them fried chicken.

The author does not show HOW Caroline made her decision. To be sure the author makes the case that Caroline is feeling cheated because of Dan's obsession with Holly. THAT is very interesting idea and premise and quite unique to this genre.

One part of the Caroline's motivation is well explained and it adds to her character. <b>But in order for the reconciliation to work Caroline has to explain HOW she came to decide to NOT to talk to Dan about his obession </b> ( no matter how justified) <b> FIRST</b>. The way the story is written is clear that Caroline knows very well much what happened between Dan and Holly and how shattering it was to Dan.

Caroline's premise is that because Dan is still obsessed with his first wife... he is not giving 100% to the marriage and me... is 100% correct.

Deciding not to even talk to him about it one time to leave and fuck other men while married is just a downright scary character flaw. It is not acceptable and the author does not explain this.

As a result the two women become indistinguishable in almost every facet.

The other part of this story which I had a problem with was his reaction to the conversation with Holly at Shoney's. I think it reveals the deoth of disgust that this author has with straight men. For example if Holly had come to realization that she never really love Dan... which explains much... it doesn't explain why she decided to play games in court with children's visitation rights after they separated and divorced. As more and more of the truth comes out about Holly his rage that should be building as wife Caroline at the same time.

In the end all Danny is is a SHIT receptacle. This pathetically weak little man doesn't even bother to ask about Frank and what his wife will continue to fuck him at the office.

I slept with another man today."

Dan Jenkins stopped in the middle of grabbing a Michelob out of the fridge and looked back at Caroline, his lovely 29-year-old wife of a year and a half. She was standing in the doorway between the den and their kitchen. He had just gotten home from work and allowed himself the one beer that took the edge off a hard day selling insurance.

He shook his head and looked at her again and wondered what she had really said. The Freudian slip was understandable, considering what he'd gone through in the last two and a half years, but it bothered him that it was still happening. He should be over it by now.

"Jesus, honey, for a minute I almost thought you said...never mind. I wasn't listening. What did you say?"

She looked at him with a sad and cold expression that made his hand holding the Michelob tremble.

"I said I slept with another man today. Frank Miller from the office. You know, he works in information technology. You met him at the party last month. Big, blonde guy."

Dan's mouth opened and closed. The inane thought hit him that he must look like a fish with that opening and closing mouth. No words came out.

"In case that didn't register, Dan, I had sex with him. I went to a motel and spent half a day fucking him."

"Wha...." He put the Michelob down carefully on the kitchen counter. The insane thought came to him he'd have to be careful to wipe it up if it spilled.

"What...are you – you – how."

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Great start of a story. You started off with a man so dense, when his wife said she has slept with another man, he smiled like an imbecile, and said, retardedly, "HONEY, for a minute there, I almost swear I thought I heard you said "I fucked another man"!, Y'know, like having the man, another man, putting his big penis inside your vagina and twisted it and ramped it inside and out, for an hour, until he groan and cum sputtering inside you! Gowd, why you scared me like that, HONEY!" <p>

Well, that's exactly what happened, "honey"! <p>

What? What da-,,, what d-d-da you mean "that's exactly what happened, HONEY"? Are, are you sick or something? Perhaps you need to lie down and take a rest... You are talking nonsense here. <p>

Is that a good writing, that kind of idiotic, exaggerated Woody Allen nonsense? <p>

Of course, "honey", if you say so! LOL

I need a psychiatrist urgently,because for the first time EVER I found myself agreeing with the comments that Harry in VA made,especially after a great story like A Moment of Clarity.It is hard to believe that this is the same author.

This story is a top story in Loving Wives. One needs to read the story with total concentration to get the full meaning of the story. The dialog between Dan and Holly and Dan and Caroline is outstanding. RAG

One of the best stories I've ever read! Thank you so much.

More. Quit wasting your time with life's mudane tasks......... your job, family, etc. Write more! I really did enjoy your story. Thanks,

why the fuck would a guy get back together with a slut like that? with a person who deliberately tried to hurt him as much as possible? also, fuck that about him not sleeping with another woman, she strayed and so should he. if this is how you're planning on writing stories, then please stop because they are fucking terrible.

I think you answered your own question.

totally unrealistic and unbelievable... The man's character is expressed

only through a silly woman's perspective and aspectative....

The poster Morefunn could NOT be More WRONG. No one -- not a single person --has called for " total destruction"... whatever the fuck that means.

<b>Reverse the events</b>... Suppose the wife Carolina had been Raped a few years ago and she was reliving her trauma . She was holding back in the marriage and she was talking in her sleep about the Rapist.

then one day Dan says <i>I am fucking another wman and I am leaving you because you wont get past the rape.

but if you go and forgive your rapist You can have me back...</i>

Imagine the outcry...!!!!! Suddenly that reconcilation doesnt look as nealy as plausiable

<b>Dan WAS raped... emotionally. </b> Dan was emasculated sexually !!! He lost his kids and he had no idea why-- even after two years. Not a clue.

Caroline ... KNOWING all of this... thinks that his crying out in the middle of his sleep from deep severe psychological trauma is becuase He still is in love with Holly the 1st wife?

OH. MY. GOD.

The only worse than the eidng of this brillant story is that the author was unable to see how the ending does NOT work

You are a talented writer, already one of the best after only 2 stories. I think the story would have been better without Caroline cheating on him. It still makes no sense to me that she would have deliberately hurt him because he couldn't get over his ex-wife. She should have just left him if she felt she couldn't continue. Did it really take Bill to explain to the stupid ex-wife that cheating on her ex, taking his house and kids w/o explanation hurt him? And when she finally got it she couldn't say sorry on her own?

Looking forward to your next story. Can you write a funny/revenge one like HDK? Or catch the cheaters and punish them like Winterfrog?

I am like most readers Liked it up to the last page , but unlike them as to say you should wright it this way or that , it is your story.

You tell a good story and how well you touch people is by how many comments you get. This one touched alot of them... do not let the nay sayers

run you off we need good writers on this site and so far you have written two good stories. I do not write I like to read so I will never tell a writer how to write or end your story, as you can tell most did not like your ending they can get over it or not so what.

You keep writing and I will keep reading them, may not agree with you but I will keep reading .

Thank you for the entertainment, Mike from Texas.

after the evening with his ex-wife, he did what he had to do. he set his wife free too. somebody who is not communicating before deliberately hurting him in his weekest spot she knew, is not even worth touching and for sure not fucking. even if she did not fuck franck again, she aloud him to escort her to the car , kiss her in the open and grab her tits. the next time she is unhappy she just stabbes him while he is asleep. no the end is worthless, for no fuck this guy who had learned his lesson would have done that. sex with her is not worth his life.

First it was only a gut feeling. Something was not right. It was the ending. Many comments confirmed my feeling. I think Caroline used sex as a weapon. I thought after the talk with his ex he developed a new consciousness. But nothing. He must have been aware of another bad trick. Future will show ... or not.

Oncemore ... Keep on writing. It's not bad at all.

{ somewhat agree with the comments about the ending, but as {'ve always said, the story belongs to the author, and we can only accept it or not. There are very few tales where { wouldn't like to see something changed, but that's what keeps me reading. { love to see a different point of view. You have received comments from some of the best writers on this site, and that should tell you how well received you are. { found the story very well done, and in the wasteland of writers here, { can only hope for more from you. Keep them coming. Thanks. Paul

Great writing - again. Although I think this type of story is more correctly posted under fantasy. At the rate Dan is going he's quite likely to forgive himself right out of any semblance of manhood. It was hard enough accepting the Holly inspired "satori-esque" breakthrough our boy had. Then throwing a free pass to Caroline ... just like that. Oh well I suppose anything is possible.

The ending isn't my cup of tea and I don't believe her reasoning but again a very well written story.

Great story please keep writtting.

I hate cheating stories, but this was a great one. He cheated on his wife with Holly, even though he never knew it. Her reaction, while extreme, is understandable and I'm glad they worked it out. What a fantastic story.

Like many others I felt like I was reading two different stories due to how this one ended. The first half has Caroline being the righteouly upset bitch of a wife who can't get over the fact that her husband is still hurting for his divorce from just before they got married. So she goes out and fucks one of her coworkers and then announces that she's divorcing the hero. But she leaves an impossible out, for the hero to talk to and forgive his ex.

that part makes a great story and is believable, even if it makes Caroline a bit of a villain.

The problem was after meeting wtih Holly and returning to see Caroline, you have the hero correctly observe as to just how evil Caroline was, and how dishonest her terms were. At that point he walks away saying that he's done with her just like he's now over Holly.

Sure, he wouldn't be over her that quickly, but at that point he's very right about Caroline's personality. And that left me wondering about the ending.

Her return to him just didn't make much sense. First she doesn't show up until 7pm, and while you do have her say she talked to Holly, if she wanted to return, why was she not back much earlier.

Then, why was your hero so passive when she started to come on to him. He just kind of stood there while she waved her hands and won him back. I'll accept that he was hurting after six weeks without, but it doesn't change the fact that his last encounter with her had a lot of truth in it. He caves far to quickly.

The writing is great, and the plot very interesting. But this story reminds me of far to many stories I've encountered, in that the ending feels almost grafted on, and is very unsatisfying after the buildup.

You are an excellent writer. However, I found several of your plot twists to be beyond stupid. Yeah, Caroline really loved and helped him. So, because she realizes that he must get over his fixation on Holly, she decides for a divorce and screws with someone else. WTF???

Uh, didn't she help him get over Holly? Any normal, sane person with an IQ over 0 would think, "Gee, I need to discuss this with him".

Next bone to pick; Kids are not excellent judges of character. That's why pedophiles can smile, talk about a puppy and, bingo!, you've lost your kid. If you wanted to portray Bill as a good guy, you could have used the months he was the contact for his kids.

Now, I want to congratulate you on your insight. Forgiveness is a requirement to go on with one's life. Hatred usually hurts the hater the most. I must say that I don't necessarily agree with your concept of love. No one can maintain that. To me it is more of a commitment with many highs and lows emotionally. However, many people do feel that way which explains such a high divorce rate.

I did think that Dan finally came to understand himself. If you ended it in Caroline's office, this would have been a perfect ending. However, he let his little head talk himself back with a seriously twisted woman. What happens next time she is tempted or gets mad at him? Really, you turned him into jello.

get the feeling that there is more than one author at work here? The sex scene was not good. Overall, great effort...Mancelt.

Angiquesophie, Ohio, and HDK have it right. The ending is not credible. What the 2nd wife did to him was the epitome of evil. Story should have ended when he explained that he had fallen out of love with her and was moving on with his wife. Good and believable tale up until the end, though.

he takes her back. He said it all in the office. The only difference between her Holly was the number of times she cheated and the length of time. Worse, her reason for cheating in some ways was worse than :Holly's. Her selfishness makes recocilliation impossible. And his last comment that he thought about sexing Holly is NOT believable. You are a terrific writer who let your story get away from you and in fact, while I do not necessarily think you should do this: you might consider an alternative, realistic ending where he does go out and find a woman to love and discovers that the third time is the charm. I have not read any of the other comments, but I am betting there is a similar theme.

The reconciliation didn't work for me. Maybe it was plausible for Dan to forgive Caroline; he loved her and was kind of needy. But it didn't leave me feeling good about either one. <P>

The female characters in both your stories were similar. Both shot first and asked questions later, if at all. It would be nice if your next submission had one with some admirable qualities. TY for writing.

I clicked the 3 as a compromise, because I though the story telling was good, and you kept my attention to the end. But I hated the characters. Both wives are people I try very hard to avoid in my life, and the male character is just too much of a loser to have any respect for.

A tough one

I was engaged in this story until this sentence: "They had just been two people living in the same house, making two babies, having great sex, but she was right. They had been roommates – with benefits."

They may have been Holly's attitude but clearly not his. So, why would he suddenly take on her attitude? He would not; he was fully invested in the relationship.

Keep writing. The first story was the BEST.

Terrific wordsmithing but unlike your first this was a waste of time and effort about a man who wasn't.<P>

You still could have saved the story and him but chose not to - instead at the end after you had him figure Caroline out you filled the hollow man cutsily with self disrespect and non-human responses to accept the wife whore who cucked him and bragged about it.<P>

How life like was that - Where's the reality writer? <P>

Just sick people contrived from the wrong parts.<P>

You can and have done better plus hopefully learned that everything that was good about your first story was 180'ed badly in this one.

And I think I would have had a little romp with the redhead before I did.

<br>

Great writing.

You really are a good writer. This story really was going somewhere. The characters developed and the plot developed. wife #2 screwed him over but did him a huge favor by forcing him to face #1 and forgive her.

But, W #2 never asked for forgivness. She just sucked him and fucked him and it is all good. Normally such an ending would get some negative comments, but given your clear talent it seems inexcusable. You have heard from several of my most favorite writers here Ohio, HDK, and a few others.

Sadly, because of your talent more is expected. Because your stories carry an enormous momentum and the characters are so well drawn, the burden is heavier on you to make the endings real. The "hero" had learned some deep and disturbing things about W #1, including that at least on of his children wasn't his. That would shake any man, but not him really. He has W#1 cheating on him just as W #1 and it doesn't shake him, and yet for two years W #1's cheating has been the focus of his conscience and unconscience life.

The ending doesn't make sense. It could make sense that they get back together, but there is a lot of serious issues and growth required before one could see either of them hooking up again.

Sadly, great talent, demands great stories and ending.

I still gave you an excellent, you are that good. But, you could be better.

When I wrote my first story, I noted that I looked forward to reader feedback to my stories. Well, be careful what you wish for! :) Seriously, I wanted to thank everyone who responded to "dream wife" and "moment of clarity" for taking the time to send comments. Even if you hated "dream wife" or how it ended, I do appreciate your comments.

Every story has to stand on its own, but I would like to make a few comments if anyone is interested in why "Dream Wife" was written the way it was.

First, i knew that people were going to like "clarity" more because I've been reading on this site long enough to know that a lot of readers just plain don't like cheating wives and wouldn't like this ending.

Now about Dream Wife. I have to say I liked Caroline and didn't see her as the evil bitch most of you did. She was a woman who entered into a marriage everybody she cared for told her would be a disaster. She lived for a year with a man obsessed with another woman. When she couldn't take it any longer, she bolted and hurt her husband as bad as she could, deliberately because she knew his history. Does that make her an evil person. I don't think so, just a very, very hurt and human, wife. And as to why she didn't try to talk things out with her husband, there are plenty of stories on this site about husbands who let their cheating wives hang themselves because they want to see if the wives will ultimately do the right thing without prodding. If your wife stops cheating or your husband appears to get over his ex-wife after you tell them you know what's going on, how can you ever know if the change is sincere or just designed to get them out of trouble.

I could have stopped the story with Dan leaving Caroline, but honestly, I wanted to get them back together. I never said that Dan might not have trust issues or resentment in the long run, but I felt he loved her enough to take another chance on her.

As to what Dan said to Caroline in her office, he probably meant it at the time, but like she said, he was lying about getting over her. And as to his shallowness in taking her back after one hot fuck and suck session, I have to say that you can never underestimate the ability of really hot sex (often called makeup sex) as a solvent to eliminate serious couple problems. That's why couples with a good sex life can and usually do survive the kind of crap that hits almost every marriage at some point and will sink marriages without a strong sexual or physical foundation.

Last but not least, I cannot put into words how grateful I am that so many writers responded to both stories. Writers like Ohio and cageytee and cloacas and matt moreau and a lot of others are the reason I got hooked on this site, the reason I decided to start writing for it, and they literally have reinvigorated my writing career and hopes for the future. Thanx doesn't say it, but if anyone hasn't said it lately, you guys are the reason Literotica is a special web site.

Both your stories are good but I would ended this one at

"As he went down the elevator after the end of his second great love, he thought that he had expected it to hurt more. But like he had said, getting over Holly had taught him a great lesson. You can't torture yourself forever for the shitty things that other people did to you. It was enough to punish yourself for your own sins."

To reconcile with Caroline after the meat grinder she put him through seemed to be a stretch.

Other than that good show.

In my opinion, the mark of an excellent writer is when he or she can elicit strong emotions from readers. Based on the responses from people here, I'd say you have certainly reached that level!

Isn't it interesting, Daniel, that so many of the cutting and negative comments come from people who won't sign their name??

Very good second effort - almost as good as the first!

Thank you for sharing your talents, and I look forward to a lot more of your fine work.

I really liked your first story and this one was excellent right up until you had Caroline walk in the house to get him back. He was right. He should not be with her because I think she will fuck Frank again or some other guy any time she gets mad. There is no trust there. There needs to be an extreme test for her to get the trust back, like quiting her job. Or him filining alientation of affection againts Frank. But it can't stay the way you left it. The way it ended was too easy. In your last story I was just disappointed that the wife did not get what was coming to her and Bobby too. Here you just let him get dumped on like his first wife did. You are a good writer but you really need to start thinking about your endings and following through on your character development. Someone else said you did a great job with his ex as far as character development. I agree 100%. But after he came to the realization in Carolines office you get them back together like it is nothing. Then she admist that she kind of did want to fuck Frank. As far as I am concerned I would sign the papers the next day and kick her out of the house, and change the stupid locks.

Spotted this story and ended up reading both of yours in one sitting. Well done and thank you for your contribution to this community.

I have a archive full of stories from this site. Yours will not be among them because this is not in any way a "stroke" story. But your writing is excellent and compelling and well paced and well done.

Good luck.

I really liked your first story but this one made me change my mind about your writing. Dan changed from one whore to another. She will cheat again and he will wimp out again.

He should have let Caroline go ahead and divorce him because he will never be albe to trust her again.

...Sweet Caroline the minute she demanded I forgive the Demon.

Another great story. I like the way you pull the reader into the story. But like many others, I didn't care for the ending. It should have ended with him signing the divorce papers and walking out. But, it's your story and despite the ending a very good one. Keep writing for us.

I gave this story high marks even though I did not agree with the ending (just like many other readers). It was very well-written and the flow and suspense were quite good. The sex scene at the end was also fairly hot (but in reality it should never have happened based on Dan's character development). I personally would never have forgiven Caroline nor taken her back. Thanks for writing.

Aaah, the "BOOT 'EM TO THE CURB!" crowd never fails. I liked it, I liked the ening, write more, don't be afraid to do whatever you think the story needs even if it will put off some of your readers.

It started good ended badly turns into just another lame story at the end.

You've got all the Lit LW biggies leaving their views here, so that should tell you about the quality of your writing.

Unfortunately though I feel I need to chuck my lot in with the angiquesophie crowd. (She seems to have phrased the major consensus eloquently enough)

The second wife's actions are an act of war. I mean, if it isn't, what exactly is? Sorry, it's just the way I see it.

Thanks for your efforts though. They are appreciated.

I read these cheating stories and often read the comments too. Many times, the comments are more interesting than the story. Harry comments on every story like this, and normally I roll my eyes at his "torch the bitch" unforgiving attitude. But this time, I have to say his most recent comment above is the most insightful one from him I've ever read. As he points out, what if the situation had been reversed and the wife had been brutally and violently raped, couldn't completely get over it after a year, and the husband said "I just had sex with a stranger to shake you up, and by the way, you need to forgive your rapist or else we're through"? Harry is right; that is exactly the situation here, except the husband has been brutally emotionally raped by his ex-wife instead of physically raped.

Story comments are usually all over the map. I have NEVER seen such unity in these comments though as with story. Everybody says "great start and middle, terrible ending." If you the author listen to feedback at all, I think you have to conclude that the ending did not work and did not fit the rest of the story whatsoever. If there ever was a story that cried out for a better ending, this is it! Why don't you, the author, fix it? You can always submit an edited version of a posted story; there's no shame in that. Or keep this and post a different version with an alternate ending.

If you want a reconciliation, fine, but make it justified, make it work. Good sex is one part of the equation, but just one part, and usually comes AFTER the people have come to some kind of emotional understanding. A start would be for Caroline to realize just how badly she hurt him by fucking Frank (and her entire crazy "forgive" scheme), and beg forgiveness from him. I mean, this is a guy who is in a living hell because his first wife cheated on him, and his second wife tries to "fix" that by cheating on him?! That's like him having a hurt eye, and she "helps" by gouging out his other eye! What's crazy is that from the author's comment above, it appears the author still does not understand that, and still doesn't understand why virtually everyone agrees the ending is so misguided. And the author really deep-sixed the ending by having Caroline basically admit her main motivation was just to have sex with Frank, and the rest was pretty much a thinly veiled smokescreen to let that happen (no wonder she never talked to him even once about his talking in his sleep). Any sane man would run like hell as soon as he heard that, much less one still recovering from his first cheating wife. If you the author change anything, please change that!

because of the fact that it is well written, interesting, and emotionally charged. The author has a talent for writing and I think his two recently posted stories show parallel organizations in which the husband is mentally humiliated by the wife (wives) but in each case prevails. The difference in the two stories is that the one about the college professor of literature isn't finished yet. I have not seen a similar style of writing in Loving Wives so the approach he uses is rather unique here. I hope that he writes more and expands his story plot. RAG

I read the author's response to the various, and nearly unanimous, comments. Better understanding his motivation, I would like to make a few observations.

Despite the "revenge on the bitch at any cost" crowd, reconciliation with Caroline was not unimaginable, at least at the point in her office when the hero decided on the divorce. Nor would a reconciliation have been a bad ending out of character with the rest of the story or the development of the characters. One plausible basis would have been that Holly cheated on him because of a lack of love and Caroline cheated on him--no matter how wrong--because of her deep love. There is a difference, and motivation is as important as the act itself.

However, given the emotional intensity that the author so artfully creates and sustains, the manner in which the reconciliation was achieved was hollow at best. It was like a Christmas present: We all saw a big box, and as we began unwrapping our expectations of the present within grew exponentially. Then, we took our first glimpse of the present and it met our expectations. We looked closer, though--here by finishing the story--and found out the present was an illusion, a television that didn't work or a book in a foreign language we couldn't read.

In short, I also prefer happy endings. I'm a divorce lawyer, and reconciliation in my line of business is all too rare even when it can be achieved with hard work. This story would've been vastly improved, though, had the author taken a few more pages to believably show how a reconciliation came about. And there's no way in hell the sex alone would've cured this couple's ills, particularly when Caroline confirms she had always wanted to jump Frank.

In any event, I guarantee I will read everything DSQ writes, and I know we all hope the wait doesn't last too long!

I think that the reconciliation was a little bit rushed, but in real life people have forgiven and reconciled with cheating spouses that have done worse things.

Either way, I hope this author is writting his next story.

If Caroline realized that his baggage with his first wife prevented him to committing to their marriage, she could have shocked him into action by leaving him without fucking her co-worker. She could have given him the same conditions and forced him to do something. Not erotic, I grant you but real and could have worked. Instead, she didn't just cheat because she didn't feel appreciated, she cheated and rubbed his face in it. She did this when she was mad at him for grieving over his first wife/marriage! This is not love - it is just cruelty.

You are a great writer! Thank you for your efforts. I am looking forward to reading your stuff in the future.

To have two stories posted within a couple days and have them both receive over a hundred comments is amazing. I have spent years posting here and have managed a total of just 4 stories with over a hundred comments, and three of them took years to reach that plateau. One could argue that there are more readers now and they are making more comments, but that would be a stretch. For most stories, 15 to 30 comments are good. Q has raised the bar, and he has done it the old fashioned way; by better writing. Lit is a better place than it was a week or so ago!

The fact that you can write about complex human emotions in a way that the readers can follow along says a lot about your writing skills. "A relationship of convience", I like that concept. Probably because it occurs a lot more than people realize. Especially, after somone was deeply hurt in a previous relationship. Very thought provoking story. I'm impressed, you tuly have a gift. Even though I think Dan should have told his wife that he would be keeping his love reigned in until he could trust her but that's just plot preferrence, were talking about style and you have a lot of it. Thank you for sharing your genius. High praise from a big leaguer like HDK.

His problem with his first wife had a basis. He loved her and thought that she loved him. Then she divorces him and goes on with her life. But she didn't love him. His second wife says she loves him more than anything, yet betrays him in a terrible way. And then wants a divorce. If you had stopped the story right after his talk to her in her office, I would have believed that. But letting her just fuck her way back into his life after stabbing him in the back. That guy seemed to make all his decisions with his dick. I liked your first story, but this one just didn't make the grade. Thank you for your effort and I hope to read more of your stories.